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Old 01-31-2009, 11:04 PM   #1
browneyes106
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Default Is it ok not to like your parents?

My younger cousin has sort of love/hate relationship with her mom who is married to my uncle. My cousin is 19 and her mom treats her badly for no reason a lot of times. My aunt is a perfectionist and yells at my cousin if she doesn't do things the way she does them. My cousin still lives at home and is in her first year of college. My uncle can be very lazy but my cousin does a lot of chores around the house. My cousin called me earlier tonight and was very upset. I guess for the past few days my uncle has been mad at aunt and today my aunt took out her frustrations that she was with my uncle on my cousin. She has done this a lot in the past and I have seen and heard her. My aunt also cuts my cousin down any chance she gets. My cousin is also a diabetic and suffers from anxiety attacks. We talked for almost two hours and she was crying most of the time on the phone and she said that in all honesty she doesn't like her mom. Her mom isn't a completely horrible person but she doesn't treat my cousin all that well. My uncle mistreats her a lot and in turn she always takes out her anger on my cousin. But my other relatives have said that my aunt has always been that way with her other kids. I have noticed they live out of state and rarely visit and I figure that they don't have a good relationship with my aunt. My cousin is pretty serious about transferring to another college next year moving away. I can understand why my cousin doesn't like her mom but I wonder if it truly ok not to like your parents.
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Old 02-01-2009, 12:56 AM   #2
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I think it's possible to dislike your parents, while still loving them. That's how my husband feels about his mother. I have the luxury of hating her though. I'm sorry about your cousin. It would be great for her to get out of that toxic environment.
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Old 02-01-2009, 12:59 AM   #3
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This situation reminds me so much of someone I know very well.
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Old 02-01-2009, 01:15 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janice
I think it's possible to dislike your parents, while still loving them. That's how my husband feels about his mother. I have the luxury of hating her though. I'm sorry about your cousin. It would be great for her to get out of that toxic environment.

I agree that is true. I took a class in college with a guy who said he loved his parents but didn't like them as people. He said they were extremely difficult to be around and I never saw him with his parents so I couldn't tell. I have seen for years how my cousin is treated by her mom. My cousin was diagonsed with diabetes when she was 9 and has managed her disease very well but stress can bring her down a lot. The environment she lives in has always been toxic. Her parents really don't have a great marriage and my aunt basically lives in lala land thinking her marriage will get better and when things are working out she takes it out on my cousin. I really don't care for my uncle but I have noticed over the years he treats my cousin a little bit better than my aunt. I do hope my cousin can get out of that situation somehow.
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:32 AM   #5
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Juvenile diabetes is a serious disease, and the added stress is no good, same for the anxiety issues. If possible, she should try to live elsewhere. Stress can do terrible things to the human body, both physically and mentally. I know this firsthand. I posted about it a while back here. I commend you for being such a concerned cousin.

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=213671&highlight=effects
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:39 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janice
Juvenile diabetes is a serious disease, and the added stress is no good, same for the anxiety issues. If possible, she should try to live elsewhere. Stress can do terrible things to the human body, both physically and mentally. I know this firsthand. I posted about it a while back here. I commend you for being such a concerned cousin.

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=213671&highlight=effects

That is a great thread. Thanks for posting it here. My cousin is attending a community college right now and she has been accepted for to few four year schools and she is just reseraching those schools right now. She is hoping to be moved out by August.
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Old 02-02-2009, 04:01 PM   #7
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I think it's okay. Especially when the parents are mean to you.

I haven't talked to my parents in over six years. They are mean spirited judmental people that never have a good word to say about anyone that doesn't fit into their perfect little world.
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Old 02-02-2009, 05:22 PM   #8
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I think you can not like your parents but don't separate yourself from them
too much because they are still your blood and a part of your life.
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Old 02-02-2009, 06:26 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee
I think you can not like your parents but don't separate yourself from them
too much because they are still your blood and a part of your life.

Yeah. I agree with that since if you are the only child, you might have to care for them when they get old and can't care for themselves.
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Old 02-06-2009, 02:23 PM   #10
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There's a lot of things that I dislike when it comes to my parents.

One of them is loaning money to them. They said that they will pay me back...and that was last year!

Now they owe me $1300...and the way things are going...I'll never see that money again.

Then my dad said that I have an attitude. And boy, I was about to punch him in the face and I had to force an apology to him.

If my parents take money from me, I'll never move out!
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