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Old 06-26-2006, 02:59 AM   #46
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Here are some of mine, from various episodes throughout the series:

(Rose and Blanche are returning from their SOUND OF MUSIC dress rehearsal wearing nun costumes and carrying their clothing when they meet Sophia's brother Angelo, then masquerading as a priest)
Blanche: "We're here, collecting... lingerie, for needy sexy people!"

Rose: Here you are Sophia, the perfect after dinner treat, a nice dish of Jell-O.

Sophia: I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in mid-air He would have filled them with helium! Beat it Rose, I'm busy.

Rose: What are you doing?

Sophia: It's Tuesday night; I'm cleaning out my purse.

Rose: Did all that stuff come out of your purse?

Sophia: No Rose, I'm also cleaning out my ears. That's where the Feen-A-Mint and the rain bonnet came from.

Rose: Sophia why are you in such a bad mood?

Sophia: Forgive me Rose, but I haven't had sex in 13 years and it's starting to get on my nerves!

Last edited by OKCRay : 06-26-2006 at 03:35 AM.
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Old 06-26-2006, 03:29 AM   #47
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Here are some more (had to be off the computer for a bit):

Sophia: Ribs, great, why don't you just KICK the dentures out of my mouth?

Dorothy: You know Blanche is taking this well. I would KILL Gloria if she ever wrote about MY sexual escapades.

Sophia: You'd kill your sister over a pamphlet?

Blanche: You know what I hate most after a party?

Rose: Trying to find your underwear in the big pile?

(the girls are attending a gallery presentation of artist Jasper DeKimmel and discover the painting they are looking at is actually hung upside down)
Rose: Oh, then those aren't noses.

(upon discovering their mistake and looking again) Dorothy: WHOA!!!

(Rose tries to tell Dorothy a story about how she won tickets to the Frank Sinatra concert while listening to her car radio)
Blanche: No, no, I don't want to go through that again. She was driving down Biscayne Boulevard, big-band not all-talk, there was a contest, something about a little voice, a lucky number and a dime and a door handle, then bing-bang-boom, she won the tickets!

Dorothy: Take a lesson, Rose; THAT'S how you tell a story!
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Old 08-22-2006, 04:14 PM   #48
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Blanche (to funeral director): "...I intend to go out with a bang." Dorothy: "And she means that."

Last edited by Ohio8 : 07-07-2013 at 06:51 PM.
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Old 08-23-2006, 05:06 AM   #49
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Blanche to Sophia - "Shut up you old worm woman!"
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Old 08-23-2006, 11:11 PM   #50
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Blanche: "I once held a man's fate in my hands..." Sophia (sarcastic): "I'm shocked."
Rose: "Sophia you said 'holding a grudge' twice." Sophia: "Heyyyy if you're good at something you brag about it."

Blanche: "Well pardon me Dorothy, but......we can't all come from places as socially acceptable as socially acceptable as Brooklyn."

Dorothy: " members shouldn't allow themselves to grow apart."

Last edited by Ohio8 : 07-07-2013 at 06:59 PM.
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Old 08-24-2006, 05:45 AM   #51
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Reading these quotes is always such fun... gives me my laugh for the day!!!
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Old 11-30-2006, 10:47 PM   #52
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Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy are in the kitchen in the middle of the night surrounded by food when Sophia walks in.

Sophia:Why didn't somebody tell me it was dinner time?
Dorothy:Ma, it's not dinner it's the middle of the night.
Sophia(looking at her pajamas) Good then, I'm dressed for it.

Rose: This is like The Long Days Journey Into Light
Dorothy: NIGHT Rose!
Rose: Night Dorothy!

Game show announcer: For 10 points complete this saying: better late than......
Blanche: PREGNANT!!

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Old 02-18-2007, 07:47 PM   #53
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Sophia: I need the money for my age
Dorothy: Od Age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore
Sophia: I'm not leaving now. It'sjust getting good
Blanche: What do you think of my new dress? It is me?
Sophia:It's too tight, it's too short and shows too much cleavage for a woman your age
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche. It's you
Stan: Hello Sophia, you're looking younger everyday
Sophia: Hi Stan, and that's a beautiful touppe you're wearing. Great, now we're both lyers
Sophia: My hiney's asleep
Dorothy: Fine, we'll keep our voices down
Sophia: I hate communists
Dorothy: Of course Ma, that's because you were raised a fascist
Sophia: You're Blanche's daugther, the model?
Rebecca: That's right
Sophia: What did she model-car covers?
Sophia: Ow
Dorothy: What is it, Ma?
Sophia: Pain
Dorothy: What kind of pain?
Sophia: The kind that hurts
Dorothy: Get back here , you deceitful little Sicilian gekko!
Dorothy: It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine
Rose: You must be tired after you cab trip
Sophia: Why? I RODE in the cab! I didn't push it
Sophia: These are FRITOS, Dorothy. You want me to swallow them whole?
Dorothy: Ma, what are they DOING?
Sophia: You know what they're doing. We had that talk when you were 12.
Dorothy: Ma, we did not get a VCR so you could watch dirty movies
Sophia: This is NOT dirty
Sophia: OK, maybe that was dirty
Dorothy: Ma, I DON'T snore
Sophia: Please! I had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn't inhale the drapes!
Sophia: Kitchen. bedroom, I knew it was a room I was good in!
Dorothy: We're here to pay for a funeral
Mr. Pfeiffer: Oh the three of you planning ahead for mother?
Sophia: Hey Puh-feiffer, how would you like a punch in your puh-face?
Sophia: No offense, pussycat
Dorothy: None take, you cankerous little prune!
Dorothy: Now look here.....You withered old Sicilian monkey!
Dorothy: Oh Ma, why did I ever marry that man?
Sophia: Because he knocked you up
Dorothy: Why did I ever let that happen?
Sophia: Because he got you drunk!
Dorothy: Why am I having this conversation with you?!
Sophia: Beats the hell out of me!
Dorothy: Shady Pines, Ma
Sophia: I'm right behind you

Last edited by Goldengirlsfan80 : 05-15-2008 at 03:02 PM.
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Old 03-06-2007, 07:11 PM   #54
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Dorothy to Sophia: Lets go and pick the teeth your going to wear tonight.

Sophia: Was that a plumber?
Dorothy: No ma, that was a little girl selling girl scout toliets.
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Old 04-07-2007, 01:13 AM   #55
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Dorothy: Ma! I can't believe this! You rented a dirty movie?!
Sophia: Dirty is in the eye of the beholder! Okay, that's a little dirty.
Dorothy: I can't watch anymore!
Sophia: Wrong button! That's fast foward!
Rose: Oh my god! What are they doing?!
Blanche: I know what they're doing, I've just never seen it done at that speed.
Blanche: I did that once!
Everybody looks at her.
Blanche: What? It was his birthday!

Blanche: Dorothy, at two in the morning I was entertaining a gentlemen caller. Then she bursts in, at THE most innopportune time!
Rose: You think that's rough? Last night she walked in on me when I was re-enacting the plank scene in Peter Pan!
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Old 04-10-2007, 04:39 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by OKCRay
Rose: Sophia why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Forgive me Rose, but I haven't had sex in 13 years and it's starting to get on my nerves!

That line cracks me up every time!! Gotta love Sophia!!

Another one:

After the girls get arrested for prostitution and Sophia comes to bail them out - (and I probably don't have this word for word)

Sophia:I can't believe it!
Dorothy: Ma, we're innocent!
Sophia:I know that, I can't believe these dumb cops would think that someone would pay money to sleep with the 3 of you!

Another one - again, I probably don't have it word for word

When Blanche gives the girls a calendar called "The Men of Blanche's Boudoir", naked pictures of men who have brought Blanche some sort of pleasure. Dorothy sees the guy on September(or whatever month it was) and says "Whoa!". Blanche says "September?" and Dorothy says "Yep". Then Sophia says "I'm surprised you were able to walk in October!"
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Old 05-15-2007, 03:03 PM   #57
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Here are 10 fav. moments:

1. Rose bakes some sort of Scandanavian concoction and Dorothy sarcastically compliments her…

Rose: “But, I’m not one to blow my own vateugenfleugen.”
Sophia: “I can’t even reach mine.”

2. Blanche rehearsing the “Our Town” play with the actor who sleeps with all of them. Blanche is wearing an inflatable bra that looks preposterouslyfake...

Actor: “The sun is setting mighty low on the horizon, isn’t it Busty, I mean, Bessy.”
Blanche: “It sure is, Biff.” (I say, “It sure is, Biff”, in Blanche’s southern accent, all the time!)


Blanche: “I want you to, take me, Biff!” Blanche goes to embrace the actor and her bra deflates. She holds her boobs in her hand.
Actor: “Dear God, I’ve punctured your bosoms.”

3. I know this has been mentioned before, but it’s so classic…Sophia and Blanche are dating the same old guy and are trying to out-insult each other…

Blanche: “I’m going to draw a bath with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.”
Sophia: “You’re only gonna sit in an inch of water?”’
Blanche: “That does it, that does it!”

I believe Dorothy and Rose then proceed to hold Blanche and Sophia away from each other.

4. Stan sleeps over and tries to get into bed with Dorothy. Dorothy kicks him onto the ground.

Stan: “Where am I supposed to sleep?”
Dorothy: “On the ground like any dog.”
Stan. “Fine, fine. Usually women beg to get into bed with me.”
Do: “Right after they get the approval number on your MasterCard.”

Stan then starts to giggle to himself.

Do: “Stan, if you’re doing what I think you’re doing, you’re in big trouble.”

5. Doro thinks Blanche is sleeping with Stan and goes to Stan’s hotel room to confront them. She sees Stan in bed with a person under the covers.

Dorothy: “You’d think you’d have enough respect for our friendship to tell me that you’re sleeping with my husband.”

The person comes out from under the covers and it’s this young, blond chick.

Chick: “Well I would have, but I didn’t know this was gonna happen until a couple minutes ago. Ha, ha, ha, ha (silly, high pitched giggle).”

Dorothy gives her the classic look of death

6. The eppy where the girls have the same dress.

Sophia: “Dorothy, jealousy is an ugly thing. And so are you in anything backless.”

7. Not sure what eppy this is:

Blanche: “I’m as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo.”
Dorothy: “That’s pretty jumpy.”

8. Episode where the girls are arrested for prostitution and are in lockup. Classic eppy.

Blanche, to the other hookers: “Quiet, you trash!” (To this day trash is my favourite word. I call everyone trash).

A tall, black woman with feather earrings drops from the top bunk and walks over.

Blanche: “Ooh, what cute earrings!”

Dorothy proceeds to rescue Blanche and then says something along the lines of doing time in Attica.

Hooker: “Attica’s a men’s prison.”
Doro: “Exactly. I was there a year before they found out.”
Hooker: “Sorry chief, didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers.”

9. The girls talking about their first time...

Blanche: “I remember it like it was yesterday. Right under the magnolia tree and me with Billy. Or was it Bobby. Yeah, yeah it was Bobby. Or was it Ben. Oh well, it started with a B.”
Rose : “Girls, that first time, did you…have….”
Blanche: “Are you serious?”
Rose nods.
Blanche : “Why many times, many, many times. Why, didn’t you?”
Rose : “No. I mean, it was nice, being close to Charlie and all. But it was five years ‘til I realized what makes your eyes go back in your head! Dorothy, did you….”
Doro: ‘How could I? It always seemed to happen before I was in the room.”

10. Sophia makes up a song!

Sophia: “Thanks for the Medicare! For Blue Cross and Blue Shield. For the hip that finally healed. Remember with prescriptions, generic is a steal. We thank you, soooo much. Well, well, don’t hold back, I can take the criticism.”
Dorothy: “Awful.”
Blanche: “Depressing.”
Rose: “Stinky.”
Sophia. “Go to hell, all of ya!”
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Old 08-10-2007, 07:31 PM   #58
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(The four roommates and Angela, Sophia's sister, are in Sophia's room.)
Sophia (to Angela): "'re nothin' but a backstabbing Judas in sensible shoes." Angela: "Oh yeahhhh you know what you are? You're a two-lira tramp with cheap bridgework."

Sophia: "May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off."
Angela: "May your legs grow old and gnarled and withered like an olive branch. (looks down at Sophia's legs.) A. cont'd: "They should be so lucky."
Sophia: "May your moles grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's." Angela: "May your marinara sauce never!! cling to your pasta."

(Angela exits as Sophia makes a noise and puts a fist to her mouth.) Sophia: "That's it. Come back and say that to my face."

Last edited by Ohio8 : 07-24-2008 at 07:02 PM.
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Old 08-11-2007, 10:22 PM   #59
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Fave lines!


Blanche: I'm going to take a long, hot, steamy bath with just enough water to cover my,....perky bosoms!

Sophia: You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?


Blanche: What does one wear to a sperm bank?

Dorothy: Something attractive in rubber!

3. [Blanche is about to go on a date with Mel Bushman.]

Dorothy: Why are you so nervous? You've been out with Mel before!

Blanche: But there's more at stake!......In many ways I feel as if I was a

Sophia: You mean the feeling isn't gonna last long!

Blanche: Are you implying I lost my virginity at an early age?

Sophia: I'm just saying you're lucky "Jack N Jill" magazine didn't have a gossip column.

Dorothy: Ma!

Blanche: I'm sorry Sophia! I won't let your sceptism ruining my evening. Mel and I were meant to be together.

Sophia: I wish I could say the same for your thighs!

Blanche: I'm not going to stand for this!

Sophia: Take her Dorothy!

Dorothy: But I'll bet you'll lay down for it.

Sophia: Well that was just plain rude!

Blanche: Some people just don't know when to quit!


Blanche: When Mel and I are together,...we laugh a lot!

Sophia: Why wouldn't you? You're both naked!


Sophia: I can't believe Blanche is dating that someone long in the tooth.

Rose: I thought his teeth were fine. What I couldn't believe was how old he was.

Dorothy: Sometimes I can't believe my ears.

Sophia: I know! I should've taped them back when you were 7!


Blanche: My my! I do believe we have company! I'm just embarrassed to be seen in this old thing!

Sophia: Don't worry Blanche! The dress covers most of it!


Rose: Father! There's always one thing that's puzzled me! Why didn't Mary and Joseph make reservations?


Rose: You can trace everyone from St Olaf back to the same brother and sister.

Dorothy: Well I think that completes the puzzle!


Blanche: Oh Rose! Can't you put yourself in my position?

Rose: Apparently I'm not limbre enough!


Blanche: I have never had to pay for a sperm donor!

Dorothy: [To doctor] She's always depended on the kindness of strangers!

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Old 09-14-2007, 02:19 AM   #60
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Sophia: "I'm going over there to kill her. I'll be back in time for Wheel of Fortune."
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