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Old 09-01-2017, 09:39 AM   #1
Frank Gannucci
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Join Date: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 6,466
Default A Honeymooners Labor Day:

(Ralph & Ed leave 328 Chauncey Street. It's Labor Day.)

Ed: "Wow Ralph-ie boy, we are going to have a great Labor Day. We will be going to the Action Park."

Ralph: "I know. Me and Alice had a big argument last night. She said that it is going to pour cats and dogs today and we are foolish to go as well as that I am too fat to ride the water slides. I will prove her wrong."

Ed: "That should be easy to do. I never saw dogs and cats fall from the clouds."

(Ralph rolls hie eyes.)

Ralph: "I am not fat. Describe my build to me Norton."

Ed: "You got very well developed muscles, good bone structure, fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, DO YOU WANNA GO TO THE MOON?"

Ed: "I say just don't go on the enclosed water slides."

Ralph: "I will. I will prove that I am not too fat. We both want to relive our youth."

Ed: "I know. Why do you think I am going to wear my Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt at the park as well as my Mickey Mouse t-shirt."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "We are going to have a great Labor Day. Let's get in the car that I borrowed from Cassidy."

(They do. Ralph starts the engine.)

Ralph: "And away we go."

(They leave.)

(After getting soaking wet in the wave pool, Ralph & Ed climb the stairs to go on the huge enclosed water slide.)

Man: "I can't believe that this fat guy was thinking about riding that tall, non enclosed water slide that was 50 feet of the ground."

Ed: "My man Ralph, was on that line. He was as cool as a cucumber. He had lumps all over him."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Man: "He was? I saw him throwing up like nine lunches man. Everyone laughed at him especially when he fainted at the top. Hahahaha!"

Ralph: "I did not faint. I wanted to rest."

Man: "Than how come you didn't attempt the ride?"

Ralph: "Never mind that. I will go down this enclosed slide. I will prove Alice wrong. I will NOT get stuck in these rides and it will NOT pour."

(Ralph goes down. Unbewknownst to everyone, he gets stuck in the middle. Ed goes down and accidentally kicks Ralph.)

Ralph (from inside, yells): "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! WATCH IT NORTON! YOU IDIOT!"

Ed: "Ralph, are you stuck?"

Ralph (sarcastically): "Of course not. How can I possibly get stuck?"

Ed: "I thought you were."

Ralph (yells): "I AM STUCK."

(More people slide down and get stuck due to Ralph.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, this looks like a traffic jam on Madison Avenue."

(It starts pouring.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, with the rain above, this reminds me of my home which is my place of work which is in the sewer."

(Everyone in back of Ed, throws up when they hear that.)

Ralph (yells): "WE NEED TO GET OUT."

Ed: "This is a case of where the spirit was willing but the flesh is just too much."

(Everyone laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU WILL GET YOURS NORTON FOR THAT."

(The firemen get called. Everyone gets rescued.)

(It really pours. Ralph & Ed get home and confront the wives. Alice hears what happened to Ralph.)

Alice: "Well Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself."

Ralph: "That was not my fault that I ruined people's Labor Day and that it rained. You got lucky with that prediction."

Alice: "I was Ralph? They said that it was a 99% chance of pouring rain. No, it wasn't your fault at all. You were just doing your impression of five pounds of balonga in a one pound bag."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (to Ed, yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "I just want to wish everyone a Happy Labor Day and the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)
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