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Old 09-04-2014, 07:40 PM   #31
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Dr. Hyman Monroe:

"Children, by adult standards, are insane...and more than a little immature."

Herbert R. Tarlek, Sr.:

"Les! Of course, Les. See a psychiatrist. Really. It's worth the money."

The Reverend Little Ed:

"You send me...."
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Old 09-17-2014, 05:52 PM   #32
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Johnny (singing): "Daylight coming, me want to throw up."

Les: "Johnny, Venus, you're alive?" Johnny (sarcastic): "The newsman's eye, you just can't fool it."
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Old 09-18-2014, 03:05 PM   #33
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(The Scum of the Earth Band members have just thrown the bellboy out the window)
Band-member - "What floor are we on?"
Johnny - "Ground floor!"
Band-member - "Pity!"
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Old 09-18-2014, 03:11 PM   #34
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(After Herb falls off the ledge in "Les on a Ledge")

Jennifer - "I saw Herb this morning."
Johnny - "How is he?"
Jennifer - "Oh, he's a little doped up but he'll be fine."
Johnny - "Same here!"
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Old 12-20-2014, 06:50 PM   #35
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Johnny: "Actually this is where the concept of happy feet originated."

Mr. Carlson: "Listen, Venus, how do things look in the black community?" Venus (sarcastic): "Oh, same old thing. Big lush lawns, manicured hedges. Living's easy. Fish are jumpin', cotton oh 'bout so high...."

Herb: "Come on, we need dinero, muy dinero." Jennifer: "Herb, in Spanish that means 'very money.'" Herb (after a pause): "I knew that."
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Old 12-21-2014, 03:56 PM   #36
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Herb quote:
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Old 12-21-2014, 04:02 PM   #37
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This one is from Hotel Oceanview.
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Old 01-05-2016, 05:19 PM   #38
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Jennifer: Mr. Carlson, I have to go to lunch now.

Mr. Carlson: O-Okay, fine.

Mama Carlson: Uh, Jennifer. Who answers the phone when you're at lunch?

Jennifer: Usually I just leave it off the hook.

Mama Carlson: You think that's wise?

Jennifer: I don't know. It was Mr. Carlson's idea.
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Old 03-06-2016, 05:51 PM   #39
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From "God Talks To Johnny"

Johnny: It's 8:45 in Cincinnati. That was one record, here's another one.

-----

Andy: Hey Doc!

Johnny: Morning.

Andy: Morning

Johnny: Morning, morning, morning!

Andy: I was uh listening to you coming to work this morning.

Johnny: Yeah?

Andy: Yeah, very bright, very, very up.

Johnny: Thank you.

Andy: Are you uh taking narcotics?

Johnny: No man, this is on the natch. I feel fine.
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Old 04-01-2016, 05:09 AM   #40
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Loni Anderson and the pause button.
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I just nailed Mrs. Trumbull
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Old 11-25-2017, 07:36 PM   #41
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Johnny: (on air)"All right, Cincinatti, it is time for this town to get down."

Venus: "That's a mean little mama."
Mr. Carlson: "You bet."
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Old 11-25-2017, 11:13 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohio8

Les: "Johnny, Venus, you're alive?" Johnny (sarcastic): "The newsman's eye, you just can't fool it."
Andy: How'd I like what, Les?
Les: My four o'clock news report. Didn't you listen?
Andy: Les, the transmitter blew up!
Les: Of course! That was my lead!
Johnny: You led off the newscast by telling them that we're off the air?
Les: No. But I can include that in my update....
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Old 12-19-2017, 01:42 PM   #43
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Johnny: How can you do that? How can you put a dollar value on your sister's company? And, more importantly, how much?

Andy: Thirty bucks.

Johnny: What's wrong with your sister?
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Old 12-20-2017, 10:32 PM   #44
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Les: "Oh my God, they're turkeys!...Oh the humanity...The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement."

Johnny: (on the air) "For those of you who've just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with turkeys. Film at eleven."

Mr. Carlson: "As God is my witness I thought that turkeys could fly."
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Old 04-02-2018, 07:31 PM   #45
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Venus: "Somewhere out there, there's a Volkswagon with no seats."
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