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Old 10-15-2018, 05:14 PM   #1
MrCleveland
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Default Sitcom Family Feud-The Facts of Life

Another TV Show with the late-great Charlotte Rae, here's another Sitcom Family Feud.

Announcer: Welcome Back to Sitcom Family Feud! Here's your host...The Ghost of Richard Dawson!

Richard Dawson comes in.

Richard: Okay, welcome back to Sitcom Family Feud, we have another interesting episode again with our champions The Warners, so...bring 'em down!

The Warners enter the stage and go to their podium.

Richard: So...anything new Tony?

Tony: Well...I'm about to stop working for the year...it's getting colder and there's not much work to do.

Richard: Like you do anything...

Tony: Shut Up!

Richard: Let's go and see Helen Warner.

Helen: Hello, Richard.

Richard: So Helen, how's the work in school?

Helen: It's going fine...I decided to pick-up some shifts...we could use the money.

Richard: Maybe we should let this guy Paul be our survey people. He's stumped them every bloody time!

Paul: ...and my new pastor can't figure out how the stove works and I'm his footstool...

Richard: No one cares, so up next we have Dustin.

Dustin: I have no money and looks like I'll have to take advantage of Paul.

Paul: Great...

Richard: Finally, we have Margaret Warner.

Margaret: Well...things are going okay. I think our family has settled-down much.

Richard: Good to hear, now...here's the cast of The Facts of Life!

The cast of The Facts of Life enter.

Richard: So, we have...Edna?

Edna: I told you I'd be back.

Richard: How?

Edna: The Facts of Life is a spin-off of Diff'rnt Strokes.

Richard: Oh...okay. I'll give you another hug!

Richard and Edna hug.

Richard: So...who are these young ladies?

Edna: Those are my students, Natalie Green, Jo Polniaczek, Tootie Ramsey, and Blair Warner.

Richard: Hi Natalie.

Richard hugs Natalie.

Natalie: Well...I'm a bright student who plans on going to an Ivy League school.

Richard: And what if you can't make it to an Ivy League school...will you go to Stanford?

Natalie: No...I'll stay in Peekskill, New York or maybe SoHo.

Richard: Up next, we have Joanne Polniaczek.

Richard hugs Jo.

Jo: Just call me Jo...it's easier.

Richard: You've got some good grades despite having that rebellious lifestyle.

Jo: That is true...and maybe I may join the police academy. New York can always use some women in blue!

Richard: You're a real strong lady. Next, we have Dorothy Ramsey.

Richard hugs Tootie.

Tootie: You can call me Tootie, my friends do.

Richard: So you're the youngest of this class.

Tootie: I am, but I do have some good grades. My daddy would love to see me succeed.

Richard: Like many fathers do. Finally, we have Blair Warner.

Richard hugs Blair.

Blair: I may be blonde, but I don't act blonde.

Richard: Edna...I'm proud of your students...they have great futures. Now...let's play the Feud!

Tony and Mrs. Garrett walk by the main podium.

Richard: We surveyed 100 people and there's 6 answers on the board. Name something students look forward to when going to college.

Tony Buzzes in.

Tony: Crazy Frat Parties!

Richard: Did you do that?

Tony: No, I only went to Tri-C. But between 1978 and 1982, I crashed many frat parties until I got kicked-out of Kent State...then I did the same thing when Dustin and Margaret went to CSU! Good times, good times...

Richard: Do the students look forward to college frat parties?

BUZZ

Tony: WHAT?

Richard: Looks like they don't. Mrs. Garrett, name something students look forward to when going to college.

Mrs. Garrett: A career.

Richard: So...many students want that dream career...show me "Career"!

35 people said "Career", it's the #1 answer.

Richard: Will you play or pass?

Mrs. Garrett: We will play!

Tony: And I passed...fart is an anagram of frat! I learned that one at Tri-C!

Richard: Okay Natalie, name something students look forward to when they go to college.

Natalie: Meeting new friends.

Richard: So...is new friends up on the board?

30 people said "Friends", it's the #2 answer.

Richard: Good answer...Jo, name something students look forward to when they go to college.

Jo: A team to root for...Go Black Knights!

Richard: Okay...so is rooting for a team up there?

1 person said "Sports Teams", It's the #6 answer.

Richard: Okay Tootie, name something students look forward to when they go to going to college.

Tootie: Studying overseas?

Richard: That's possible...show me...studying overseas.

9 people said "Study Abroad", it's the #5 answer.

Richard: I'm sure you'll be a good abroad student...Blair, name something students look forward to when going to college.

Blair: Shopping!

Richard: I'm sure everyone goes shopping, but...show me shopping!

BUZZ

Richard: Looks like that's an everyday thing, so...let's see if The Warners will steal?

The Warners argue on what the answer should be "clubs" or "dorm life". Paul bangs gavel.

Paul: Would you just listen to me for a second? College has a lot of clubs that are also in High School, but there's more options and new people.

Tony: Look Richard...people in college enjoy living in a dorm. Helen had one.

Helen: I know...I almost got kicked-out of Kent State because we...well...

Richard: You don't have to explain...show me...Dormitory Life!

13 People said "Living in Dorm".

Richard: You win again! Now...what's the #4 answer?

12 people said "School Clubs".

Richard: Well, looks like we must say goodbye to the class of Eastland School.

Jo: Blair, what's wrong?

Blair: I thought I had the answer...many people shop while they're in College.

Tootie: That's okay...we'll still forgive you.

Natalie: We tried our best, that's what's important.

Richard: That is true...we have some parting gifts for all of you.

The Eastland girls leave, but Mrs. Garrett stays.

Mrs. Garrett: Mr. Dawson...may I have a word?

Richard: Sure...

Mrs. Garrett: I'm going to leave now...I'm headed to Sitcom Heaven. There, I'll meet-up with the other housekeepers like Nell Harper, Alice, Rochester, Benson, Hazel, and even Mr. Lynn Belvedere...I'm comin' home and I don't even need to lift a finger! Farewell, everyone...

Mrs. Garrett walks away and is taken.

Richard: I wish I could be in Sitcom Heaven, but as of now I'm in Sitcom Heck...It's better than Hell but I gotta work to get to Heaven. Speaking of which...who will play fast-money round?

The Warners except Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!

Paul walks by Richard Dawson.

Paul: I'm just like The Cleveland Idiots...I can't win!

Richard: Cleveland Idiots? What are those?

Paul: That's what I call my baseball team when they suck like they did last Monday.

Richard: Cleveland Idiots?

Paul: They're the Cleveland Indians.

Richard: Well...just give me five answers for the fast-money round and you could win $20,000. Give me 15 seconds on the clock please...

:15 is seen.

Richard: Name a Native American Tribe.

Paul: The Onas.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a type of Amazon bird.

Paul: Umbrella Bird.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a Star Trek character.

Paul: Edith Keller.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a grocery store chain.

Paul: Heinens.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a type of chair.

Paul: Papasan.

BUZZ

Richard: Again...you stumped our survey audience, but don't worry...you get to play tomorrow on another episode of Sitcom Family Feud!
__________________
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