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Old 04-27-2017, 04:33 PM   #46
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Old 04-29-2017, 09:44 PM   #47
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Jack, Janet and Chrissy are all sitting in the kitchen and they're questioning Jack about seeing him out with Lana in her first episode.

Chrissy: "Jack, I have a 2 part question....Why?"
Jack: "How is that a 2 part question?"
Chrissy (dumbfounded): "We both wanna know!" (referring to herself and Janet)
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Old 04-30-2017, 12:39 PM   #48
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Mrs. Roper - "I know, I'll get a job. That's what I'll do."
Mr. Roper - "What? You get a job? What can you do?"
Mrs. Roper - "I can do lots of things. I worked before.When I was a girl I used to work at the post office"
Mr. Roper - "Well times have changed since the Pony Express."
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Old 05-01-2017, 10:42 AM   #49
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Chrissy arguing with her father.

Rev Snow: Chrissy, I want to talk to you!
Chrissy: No.
Rev Snow: Why not?
Chrissy: Well, i'm afraid you'll be right. You're always right about eveything.
Rev Snow: Well, I'm wrong this time.
Chrissy: See, you're right again!
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Old 05-01-2017, 10:47 AM   #50
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In the Dying to Meet you Episode I laugh when the jealous boyfriend is at the Reagle Beagle with his girlfriend and the bartender is gawking at her. He grabs the bartender and says:

"You keep starting at her and the next girl you're gonna be looking at will be a nurse."

hahaha
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Also, later in the same episode when the guy wants to beat up Jack he says:

Jack: I should warn you! I know Karate!
Jack then starts mimicking some Karate moves. In response, the guy karate chops the chair that's there bursting all of the wood slats with one powerful strike.

Jack looks scared and says "I'm not up to that yet"
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Old 05-01-2017, 03:12 PM   #51
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(Stanley talking to Helen)

Mr. Roper - "You know it's a shame you don't live in India. You'd be sacred there."
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Old 06-18-2018, 07:40 PM   #52
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Jack: (to Cindy) "They're driving me crazy!"
Cindy: "At least it won't be a long trip."

Jack: "I almost burned my clusters."
Terri: "Well that's what you get for standing too close to the stove."
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Old 06-18-2018, 07:42 PM   #53
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Mrs. Roper: I need a new stove

Stanley Roper: There's nothing wrong with the stove you have, it works just fine.

Mrs. Roper: Well, I better not break up the set.

Stanley Roper: What set?

Mrs. Roper: An old stove, and old husband, and they both take too long to heat up!
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:27 PM   #54
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Cindy: "That Larry sure has a quick mind."
Janet: "Not as quick as his hands."

Jack: "It's people like her that give mothers a bad name."

Cindy: "You mean it'll be that bad?"
Janet: "That dull. Larry is the Lawrence Welk of storytellers."
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Old 07-15-2018, 01:29 PM   #55
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Helen: "You'll never get that bird to talk."
Stanley: "He's got a lazy beak."
Helen: "He came to the right house..."

Stanley: "In my head."
Helen: "It must be lonely in there."

Stanley: "I don't have the right equipment."
Helen: "You're tellin' me."
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Old 07-15-2018, 06:09 PM   #56
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Terri: I just felt sorry for you!

Jack Tripper: Sorry for me? Why would anybody feel sorry for me?

Janet Wood Dawson: Oh, lots of reasons.
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