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Old 10-10-2005, 02:51 PM   #46
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BLANCHE(to Rose)"Is this about Arnie?"
DOROTHY"No Blanche she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke."
ROSE"How can you tell if a grasshopper is Spanish?"
DOROTHY"Because it wears a little sombrero Rose."

"No I'm upset because they haven't reruned The Facts Of Life Goes To Australia."
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Old 10-10-2005, 03:19 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pug Lover
BLANCHE(to Rose)"Is this about Arnie?"
DOROTHY"No Blanche she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke."
ROSE"How can you tell if a grasshopper is Spanish?"
DOROTHY"Because it wears a little sombrero Rose."

"No I'm upset because they haven't reruned The Facts Of Life Goes To Australia."
I have too many to list! Here are a few of my faves. I'll quote them the best I can.

ROSE: Hi Dorothy. What is in the box?
DOROTHY: (holding a pizza box) It's fried chicken Rose. I hope you like yours extra flat and crispy.

ROSE (walking into kitchen) Hi Dorothy. What are you doing?
DOROTHY: (stirring something on stovetop) I'm developing photographs for the Magellan Space Program, Rose. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? I'M COOKING!

STAN: Women don't have to beg to get into bed with Stanley Zbornak.
DOROTHY: You're right about that. They just wait until your MasterCard goes through!!

I also like the first episode when Dorothy walks into the apartment and Rose is just gushing about how beautiful of a day it is and she then asks if she is Dorothy the new roommate. Dorothy answers "You must be Mrs. Rogers."
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Old 02-19-2009, 06:17 AM   #48
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[Sophia and Dorothy have had a fight. Sophia enters the kitchen]
Sophia (icily): Mrs Zbornak.
Dorothy (equally frosty): Mrs Petrillo.
Rose: Oh good, you two are talking.
Dorothy: We're not talking. I'm still furious with Ma for hooking me up with that matchmaker.
Rose: That reminds me of a story about St Olaf's most famouse matchmak...
Dorothy: Oh please! Rose! Spare me the endless inane details of how Heidi Flügendügelgurgenplotz successfully matched a bull with a duck! [then, more calmly] And how their daughter was a bull-duck who ran a small tattoo parlor in Carmel.

The magic is how it starts off like any other time when Dorothy would go off-tap at Rose's stories, but then takes a major left-turn across on-coming traffic.
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Old 02-21-2009, 04:29 AM   #49
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Dorothy: Come on Rose, we've talked about pets. There's no-one home during the day to take care of it.
Sophia: I'm home during the day.
Dorothy (quickly): No-one lucid is home during the day!
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Old 02-22-2009, 12:21 AM   #50
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"I still have Shady Pines on speed dial"
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Old 02-22-2009, 04:25 AM   #51
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(Responding to Rose, who discovered that Baked Alaska can be made locally) "I have an even bigger scoop for you... Mars bars are made right here on earth!"

"Good night Rose, go to sleep sweetheart, pray for brains!"

"I've been marking the days on my Big Ships of the Navy calendar."

"Please Blanche, I'm in no mood to hear about the endless parade of sexual encounters you've had up and down the Florida coastline with nothing but this towel between your naked body and the cold wet sand!!!"

The "Spanish Fly" scene (when they were trying to breed minks)

And let's not forget... "CONDOMS, Rose... CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS!!!!!"
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Old 02-24-2009, 05:02 PM   #52
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This is my all-time favorite...

Dorothy enters the kitchen carrying a pizza box. Sophia, Rose and Blanche are all there, and watch her come in.

Dorothy: "I picked up dinner for us on my way home!"
Rose : "Oooh! What did you get?"
Dorothy: "A bucket of chicken, Rose."

I think of this every time I bring a pizza home!
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Old 03-04-2009, 05:17 PM   #53
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This ep was played this past weekend on the 'marathon'. It was the episode in which they remembered past 'get rich quick' schemes.
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Old 03-05-2009, 02:14 AM   #54
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Some of my favorites are:

Rose: Hey, that's my tractor got its start right there.
Dorothy: Wasn't the musical version called Hey, hey that's my tractor?

Blanche is talking about getting caught in the act...Rose: What act? Dorothy: Second act of my fair lady.

Rose: Do you think she's (Blanche) is depressed about Rebecca?
Dorothy: No, she's depressed because Marblehead Manor is only on once a week.

Dorothy: My mother needs money to have an operation done (from the episode where Dorothy is betting at the track). She's having her face done.
Rose: How's she getting it done?
Dorothy: Southwestern Rose!!

Blanche: It is just like the story of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor
Rose: Or the story of Rose and Charlie Nylund
Dorothy: You know when I think of one, I automatically think of the other

Rose asks about Dorothy being upset and she replies No I'm upset because they haven't rerun The Facts of Life goes to Australia.
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Old 03-06-2009, 05:24 AM   #55
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One of my ultimate favorites is in the episode where Sophia and Dorothy learn they may not be mother an daughter.

Dorothy: I just keep thinking of ma and who's mother she really is.
Rose: You're worried she might be Gina's?
Dorothy: NO I'M WORRIED SHE MIGHT BE PHIL RIZZUTO'S!!
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Old 03-07-2009, 01:53 PM   #56
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Default dorothy sarcastic quote

Rose: Can i ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Like no one else.

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Old 03-12-2009, 05:17 PM   #57
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Blanche: This is strictly off the record but - Dirk's nearly five years younger than I am.
Dorothy: "In what Blanche, DOG years?"
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Old 03-15-2009, 02:34 PM   #58
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From "Sisters and Other Strangers" when Blanche's sister writes a novel:

Blanche: Dorothy, what am I gonna do about my sister comin'? By the time she leaves Miami, she'll be more famous here than I am!

Dorothy: Honey, only if they close the Sheraton.

From the same episode:

Stan's cousin Magda: Such a beautiful home! Who sleeps with government official?

Dorothy: (laughing) ... that would be my friend Blanche...
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Old 03-15-2009, 11:30 PM   #59
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There are sooooo many to choose from. Some I was thinking of haveb een mentioned just on page 4 alone. hehe

"Ah no, Blanche, I'm upset because I'm worried whether Michael Jackson really will buy the remains of the Elephant Man." (paraphrased)

Rose asks Dorothy, "Loraiine's family's going to be black, too, aren't they"? Yes, Rose, to make them feel more welcome, maybe you can do your version of the dance that the Huxtables do at the beginning of The Cosby Show.

So many, practically every episode from the first four seasons has a great sarcastic Dorothy quote.
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Old 03-16-2009, 05:33 AM   #60
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[Blanche is getting a new bed]
Blanche: What should I do with my old bed?

Dorothy: Put it in the Smithsonian, Blanche. It's got more miles on it that the Spirit of St. Louis!

[Discussing walking in on your parents having sex]
Sophia: You walked in on your father and me once. Remember what I told you?

Dorothy: Yes, you said, 'Mommy's sick... get help!'...

[Rose believes she has seen a UFO]
Rose: Well, it wasn't a plane. Planes aren't that thin or bright.

Dorothy: Neither is Oprah Winfrey, Rose. That doesn't make her a flying saucer.
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