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Old 09-13-2003, 01:17 PM   #16
justlikeDorothy
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DOROTHY: *indicates Arnold Schwarzenegger on-screen*
He became and American citizen, started a new career, married a Kennedy...Right now he happens to be pulling another man's arm off and hitting him with it, but you see my point.

DOROTHY: "I cna't see a thing."
ROSE: "What kind of movie is this?"
SEATED MAN: "Rip his throat out!"
DOROTHY: "It's a musical, Rose."

BLANCHE: I was. I didn't know what to wear. I only had two dresses with me. One bright dress, suitable for weddings or cotillion. And one dark dress, suitable for a funeral or a hanging.
DOROTHY: My parents were poor. I just had one of those reversible "hanging-cotillion" dresses.

I'll think of more!
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Old 09-13-2003, 02:05 PM   #17
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Kirsten: We brought you girls a present from St. Olaf. I's a favorite back home.

Charlie: They're honeycaramelmaplesyrupmolasses logs!

Kirsten, Rose, and Charlie go into the kitchen.

Blanche: What are you gonna do with yours?

Dorothy: It's a log. I'm going to burn it!
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Old 09-19-2003, 02:27 AM   #18
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ROSE: "Miami is nice so I'll say it twice: Miami is nice, Miami is nice, Miami is nice."
DOROTHY: "Rose, you said it three times. It doesn't fit the lyrics."
ROSE: "Fine. Miami is nice, so I'll say it thrice."
DOROTHY: "Rose, nobody uses the world thrice."
ROSE: "But it's a word."
DOROTHY: "So is interuderan, but it's not in songs!"
ROSE: "Miami's cuter than and interuderan."

DOROTHY: "I don't look good...I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer."

There are so many more that I can't think of!
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Old 09-19-2003, 01:22 PM   #19
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(First off, the name is inspired from Unsolved Mysteries.. but I came here because I'm a fan of this show, saw the thread, and so many Dorothy lines came to mind that no one has mentioned that I just can't let the thread be!)

From ep. 2, the first time they talked about sex.
Dorothy: "I'm so glad my date with Barry is tomorrow. The fat won't have time to show"
Rose: "It doesn't?"
Dorothy: "No, it usually takes a few days."
Rose: "Where does it go until then?"
Dorothy: "TO CONNECTICUT! How should I know?"
Later...
Dorothy: "Barry's the man that I wanted to be the first."
Rose: "First where?"
Dorothy: "ON MARS, ROSE!"

Rose: "We once had a pig. All the male pigs loved her - she was very beautiful. And she got pregnant and no one knew who the father was!"
Dorothy: "OH MY GOD ROSE! What did you do on Father's Day?!"

"You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke which left her, if I could be perfectly frank, a complete burden."

"You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a stroke a few years ago which left her... totally annoying!"

When Blanche and Dorothy were on Rose's TV station morning show and it was about lesbians:

Sophia (in the audience): "This is for Dorothy. What does your mother think about your lifestyle?" (or something like that)
Dorothy: "I don't know. I'll ask her tomorrow when I visit her in.. THE HOME."
Sophia: "No more questions!"

Dorothy comes home finding out her blind date was an ex-con
Sophia: "Hi Dorothy!"
Dorothy: "SAY GOODBYE OLD WOMAN!"
later....
Dorothy: "Blanche, if you don't mind, I'm having a heart-to-heart with my mother. NOW LISTEN UP YOU WITHERED OLD SICILIAN MONKEY!"

Stan (crying): "I lost it Dorothy!"
Dorothy: "You never had it Stanley!"

Dorothy: "I drank the glass quickly. And it didn't go down smooth! Then I found out that Stan had put the ring at the bottom of the glass. Three days later it showed up."
Rose: "Showed up where?"
(After a long pause of laughter) Dorothy: "On the Home Shopping Network."

And finally, the funniest Dorothy line ever, not for the line itself but for its delivery. I can barely type I'm laughing so hard.

Sophia (carrying a bag of chips): "Some attack dog! He hid under the table, peed on the floor and ran out the back!"
Dorothy (shaking with rage): "Oooooohhh give me THAAAT!" (Grabs the chip bag)
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Old 09-19-2003, 10:36 PM   #20
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I don't know if this is exact but

Blanche: Dorothy do you know what dirty dancing is?
Dorothy: Of course Blanche they did it in that movie
Rose: What movie?
Dorothy: Lawerence of Arabia, Rose
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Old 09-20-2003, 07:20 PM   #21
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My all-time fave is when she & Rose install a new toilet...

Door bell rings...

PLUMBER (who has a toilet in his arms): Plumber....

DOROTHY: Could I see some identification?


That always kills me. The guy is carrying a toilet. Who the hell else would he be?



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Old 09-22-2003, 04:31 PM   #22
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I don't remember the exact quote, (someone help me out here if you can!) but one of my favorites was when the girls were in the kitchen and Rose had been somewhere and Dorothy says:

"...and you all sang 'If I Had A Hammer' and fed deer by hand" and there was something about Julie Andrews in there too, I think.
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Old 09-24-2003, 12:17 PM   #23
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shocolah, the quote you're thinking of goes like this:


*Rose is describing the wonderful time she'd had with her daughter earlier that day*
Rose: "... and then you'll never guess what happened!"
Dorothy: *tired of hearing about it* "Julie Andrews showed up, you fed deer from your hand, and sang 'If I Had A Hammer!'"


Thanks, I'd forgotten that quote up until now... that was another one of my favorites for how it captures Dorothy's deadpan, off-the-cuff wit!!
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Old 10-13-2003, 05:02 PM   #24
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Default Soem Dorothy Quotes I remember

(Rose cries on Marguerite's shoulder)
I don't remember the exact quote but....
MARGUERITE: What's the Matter with her?
DOROTHY: SAhe's just upset that Gene Shalet always wears his hair like that!

DOROTHY: get back here you Sicilian Gecko!
SOPHIA: I wuv you, Dorothy
DOROTHY: too wittle, too wate!

ROSE: It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, teh birds are singing, and I just want to give Mother Nature a great big kiss. You must be Dorothy
DOROTHY: And You must be Mrs. Rogers.


SOPHIA: Life Saver?
DOROTHY: Go to Hell, Ma!

BLANCHE: The Only thing he's interested in is under the sheets
ROSE: What's under the sheets?
DOROTHY: His coffeemaker, Rose.

COCO: We're having Enchiladas Racheros
DOROTHY: Why don't you just shoot me?
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Old 10-13-2003, 06:17 PM   #25
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Another good one, see my sig.
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Old 10-14-2003, 12:22 PM   #26
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I'm alittle vague on the exact quote, but maybe someone with a better memory can clean the line:



Rose: Was stan a good business man?

Dorothy: Oh please, the man has to get naked to count to twenty one.




Something like that
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Old 10-14-2003, 10:22 PM   #27
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Lol, yeah, that's close enough. I remember that one, they were talking about money matters and how their husbands did the work, and Rose asked that after Dorothy said, "I always let Stan handle our money" or something.
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Old 11-29-2003, 10:13 PM   #28
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One of the most favorite things Dorothy said was something like this
*refering to the episode where 3 of the girls stayed home during a rainy day in their jammies*

Rose: I thought we agreed NOT to keep cookies in the house.

Blanche: That's right, after this last box.

Rose: (looking at Dorothy) You're not going to eat those are you?

Dorothy: No, we're going to a dumb country and use them as money.

I LOVE that line! I laugh hysterically whenever i hear it. What makes her lines classic is her facial expressions and tone of voice.
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Old 12-10-2003, 11:11 PM   #29
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I like the episode (flashback, I think) where Dorothy is at a birthday party with Mr. Ha Ha. He calls Dorothy up to the stage, and she says, "Get bent, Ha Ha!" Or something like that.
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Old 12-11-2003, 12:20 AM   #30
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Dorothy: Stan and I abstained for a while, I totally cut off his sex

Rose: You mean it grows back???

Dorothy: Yes Rose, he's a lizard
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