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Old 06-12-2014, 04:46 PM   #376
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Maid To Order
Janet:She can't be a maid.
Jack:Of course she can.We just need to get her a dress,maybe some fishnet stockings,give her a red feather duster and bee sting lips.She can even talk in a french accent."Ooh la la.Mesure Tripper"(kissing noise).
Janet: (to Terri)He's so sick.
Zack:Jack I don't think that would be a good idea because she did that yesterday and it didn't turn out right.
All:WHAT?!
Zack:It was a role play thing we ended up having to spend a lot of my money having replace some of the stuff in your room before you got home.
Jack:WHAT?!
Zack:Yeah.Your lamp,your trophy,your records,and we had to go to a furniture store because we broke your bed.
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Mickie is the best woman to step inside the ring
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOTh3hVT0HU
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Old 07-26-2014, 01:06 PM   #377
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Star Struck
Terri:Now that Brett Wade & I are going to get married..
Zack: Oh will you stop?!For the past 2 days since you've met him,it's "Brett Wade this" & "Brett Wade that".I am sick & tired of hearing about that tool!
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Old 08-09-2014, 11:36 PM   #378
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Extra!Extra
Mrs.Tripper:Jack you're coming back with me to San Diego.
Zack:No he's not!Jack is a grown man.He can live here if he wants to!
Mrs.Tripper: Over my dead body!
Zack:Well if that's the way you want it(tries to go after Mrs.Tripper but Jack,Janet & Terri stop him from doing it)
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Old 08-21-2014, 08:08 PM   #379
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?
Jack:Zack I am upset with you!
Zack:What did I do?
Jack:My girlfriend broke up with me because you!
Zack:How is it my fault?
Jack:It's because of what you said to her about my parents.I have everything she had in writing what you said to her the last time you two spoke.
Zack:I said great stuff about your dad.
Jack:It's what you said about my mom.It says here that told her my mom flies on a broom and worships a guy named Stan.
Zack:That must be a typo because that's not who I said she worships.
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Old 08-27-2014, 10:42 PM   #380
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?
Jack:Girls what are you reading?
Janet:It's just a magazine.
Terri:And an article that says the longer a couple spends time together,the more they're likely to start acting like each other.
Jack: Oh come on.Do you really expect me to believe that?
Terri:Well we'll just ask Zack & Cindy.I'm sure they'll be here any minute because Zack will be wanting to watch wrestling soon.
Jack:Well I can tell you that there is no way that Zack will ever act like Cindy.
Zack: (coming quickly and hits Jack with the door)Hi everybody!(notice Jack on the ground)Jack what are you doing on the floor?
Janet:He was behind the door when you opened it like Cindy usually does.
Zack: Oh Jack.I'm so sorry.
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Old 09-27-2014, 02:50 PM   #381
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?
Jack:How were able to spend money at that restaurant?It's expensive.
Larry:I had $10 along with with you lending $20,and I swiped the $10 tip Zack was gonna give the waitress off the table the other day while he wasn't looking because he was too busy staring at Terri bending over.
Zack:WHAT?!

Last edited by Chain Gang Member; 09-27-2014 at 08:00 PM.
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Old 01-10-2015, 08:41 PM   #382
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(Zack walks into the Regal Beagle as a woman leaves after hitting Larry with a pie)
Zack:Larry what's that all over your face?
Larry:It's just pie Zack.
Zack:Were you really that hungry?
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:05 PM   #383
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Larry knocks on the door
Zack:It's open Larry!(Larry comes in). Hey Larry.What's new?
Larry:Zack I need help.
Zack:Larry that's not new.I've known that since I've met you.
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Old 06-29-2015, 04:06 PM   #384
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?
(Zack comes into the living room as Jack,Janet & Terri are arguing)
Zack: Enough!For the past couple of days you 3 have been arguing and why?Just because of this guy that that came to town?You girls are arguing over wanting to date him and Jack you don't want either of them to date him so he can become your new chef at your restaurant.You have been friends for years and you want to throw it away for somebody you don't even know?I feel like the only grown up living here right now.(hears ice cream truck) Ice Cream! (leaves)

Jack:I think the "only grown up living here" is right and I think it's best that we patch things up while he's going to pay for his fudgsicle
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Old 11-29-2015, 12:30 AM   #385
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Janet Wigs Out
Jack:Zack what's wrong?
Zack:I just came back from seeing Cindy.She dumped me.
Janet:Was it something I said?
Zack:No.She just said that our relationship was getting in the way of her time studying.So she decided that to make sure she can become a vet,she ended it.
Terri:Zack.I'm so sorry.
Zack:I'm gonna miss her.Especially all of the time we spent on this couch(they jump off of the couch)

?
Jack:Are you still bummed out over Cindy breaking up with you?
Zack:She was really special to me.
Jack: Do you know what I was told the last time when I was dumped?
Zack:Yes.You were told that to get over a girl you have to find another girl to get under you.That's the worst advice you ever took.
Jack:Why?It's the advice that is why I'm the man I am today.
Zack:Jack the advice was given to you by Larry.While I may have only slept with 2 girls,they will always be my first & second time and I'll be special to them and will be special to them because I was their first while 99% of the girls you & Larry have slept with the type of girls who don't even remember a guy's name a week after the relationship ends
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Old 02-06-2016, 10:38 PM   #386
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Jack Goes To The Dentist
Phil:Zack don't worry.Just because Terri & I are over doesn't mean I'm gonna it out on you because you two are friends.
Zack:Good to know.
Phil:Now open wide.
Zack: OH MY GUMS!THEY HURT SO MUCH!
Phil:Zack I haven't even done anything yet.
Zack:Sorry.I just had a flashback of the time I was at the dentist and my aunt had him come in the room with a chain saw.
Phil:Well I'm not gonna do that.So lets get started(starts cleaning Zack's teeth).
Zack:AHH!YOU BUTCHER!AHH!OH THE PAIN!
Jack: (outside)Girls never knew Zack had problems with his teeth.
Zack: (screaming)I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TOOTH PROBLEM!THIS IS JUST A REGULAR CHECK UP!OH THE PAIN!(a kid runs out of the room)Wait.It's over?That wasn't bad at all
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Old 08-25-2016, 11:08 PM   #387
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(Janet & Terri come in slamming the door open against the wall while Zack was behind it knocking him out)

Janet: Did that hurt Zack?

Zack:No.I got pretty much used to it years ago.How was the feminist seminar.I hope it helps you out with your jobs.

Terri:You mean like taking care of the babies?

Zack:What? How long was I knocked out?
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Old 09-08-2016, 12:56 PM   #388
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Terri: (comes into the living room)Zack I want to let you know you have a 1pm patient coming for a check up.

Zack: (reading a magazine)Ok

Terri:A patient at 5pm for a follow up.

Zack:Fine

Terri:And after work when we get home,I want you to help me get pregnant(goes in the bedroom).

Zack:Sure. Wait.What?!
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Old 01-13-2017, 11:09 PM   #389
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Terri:Zack what has been going on with you these past few days?
Zack:I have no idea what you are talking about.
Terri:You've been running doing everything our new boss says,doing the worst things he asks you to do.You're even called him Capitain Blood while you're sleeping.Just tell me why are doing this to yourslef?
Zack:For you!I'm doing this for you!r
Terri:Me?What do I have to do with this?
Zack:Terri he told me that he had his eye on you and if I didn't do everything he says,he'll blackmail you into doing things way worse than this if you want to keep your job.
Terri:That's terrible.
Zack:I know.Now if you'll excuse me,I have to take care of a patient who has so many diseases,her chart needs more than one page to put them on.(opens the door)Hey that's not what those tools are for!
Girl:You're not my father!
Zack:Well according to your chart,I wouldn't be the first person you called daddy
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Old 04-29-2017, 10:49 PM   #390
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Zack:What made you all think my former tag team partner was a cannibal?
Jack:Well he's called Abdullah The Butcher
Janet:And We bumped into his last girlfriend who bursted into tears saying she caught him poring chocolate syrup on her best friend.
Terri:What other explanation is there to that?
Zack:That wasn't being a cannibal.That was being a cheater.
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