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Old 05-07-2009, 12:29 AM   #16
browneyes106
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DARLENE: WOW! Nancy's a lesbian? Did she tell you?
ROSEANNE: No! we the read the I'm big a dyke bumper sticker on her car
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Old 05-09-2009, 08:29 PM   #17
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Roseanne: Oh my god, its decaf. Who let that in the house?
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Old 05-09-2009, 09:54 PM   #18
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They had some fantastic one liners!!!
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Old 05-19-2009, 05:46 PM   #19
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During the tornado episode
Crystal:It's like the end of the world out there.
Roseane: Great no more Geraldo.
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:33 PM   #20
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Old 06-23-2009, 06:02 PM   #21
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The episode where Jackie and Roseanne are at the Golden Chambers Health Spa:

Roseanne gets POed by the hike leader.
Roseanne: "Well I'll snap you spine like a potato chip ya b*tch!"
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:39 PM   #22
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Kathy: I'm in hell.
Roseanne: Nah, you're just in Lanford. Same zip code though.
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Old 09-03-2009, 09:11 PM   #23
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From the episode where they go to disney world. The quotes probably aren't exact.

Announcer: Lady's and Gentlemen, the role of Becky, which was at first played by Lecy Gorenson then by Sara Chalk and then by Lecy Gorenson, will tonight be played by Sara Chalke.

Becky: Disney World? I've always wanted to go there!
Roseanne: Well, aren't you glad you're here this week?

DJ: I mean i have a big project due next week and I don't think my teacher will let me just blow it off!
Roseanne: I am shocked! You are a Connor and you are blowing off that project and going on vacation with your family.
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Old 11-13-2009, 08:26 PM   #24
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Good Girls Bad Girls episode

Molly: "So cute! Which one do you want?"
Darlene: "The one that'll kill you and stuff you into a trunk."


Guy: "Yeah Darlene, you look like a real partier"
Darlene: "Any part of you that touches me, you're not getting back"

Guy: "So Darlene, do you.. <Darlene cuts him off>
Darlene: "Stop right there Pony Boy. You and the rest of your outsiders can go rumble someplace else"
Guy: "Look, I apoligize for my friend, I mean, he's a real jerk. I mean it's obviously a bad idea to go into somebody's van you hardly even know. So it's lucky for you I happen to
have a couple of joints right here."
Darlene: "Oh man, I feel like I'm in the middle of a really bad after school special"
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:24 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Purffin
Roseanne -" You know i consider myself a good judge of people and thats why i don't like none of em"

I love that line, most especially because it reminds me of me!!

From that same episode -

"If you ever come near my sister again, you'll have to deal with me, and I am way worse than Dan. I have a loose meat restaurant, I know what to do with the body"!!
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Old 11-14-2009, 11:53 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phoebe7165
I love that line, most especially because it reminds me of me!!

From that same episode -

"If you ever come near my sister again, you'll have to deal with me, and I am way worse than Dan. I have a loose meat restaurant, I know what to do with the body"!!

Love it!
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:30 PM   #27
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Dan: "Fruity, yet bovine."
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Old 03-18-2018, 10:59 PM   #28
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From "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas Anymore:"

During tornado, after lights have gone out:

Roseanne: Oh, who'd I just step on?
DJ: Me!
Roseanne: That's one.
Dan: Darlene?
Crystal: OMG, where is she?
Darlene: *screams with a flashlight in her face*
Roseanne: That is not funny, you're grounded 'til menopause!
Darlene: Yours or mine?
Roseanne: Your father's!



Best scene of season 1 for sure.
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Old 03-19-2018, 09:49 PM   #29
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Terms of Enstranglment part 2

Mark : All right, I knew this was coming, We're too young, I'm not good enough for her, and I got no future.

Roseanne : Eyes on your own paper.

Mark : Look, you're just ticked off at me because you think I made Becky marry me. Well, let me tell you something- - Becky doesn't do a damm thing she doesn't want to.
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Old 03-20-2018, 05:10 PM   #30
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Becky: "When you first met Dad, did you want to kiss him all the time?"

Roseanne: "Well, somebody had to do it. And you know me, work! work! work.!"
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