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Old 01-12-2018, 08:06 AM   #1
Frank Gannucci
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Default Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "The $99,000 Answer" & "Ralph Kramden Inc.”:

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "The $99,000 Answer" & "Ralph Kramden Inc.”:

Episode #126
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "On Stage."
Laserdisc: Attached to “A Matter of Record”, “The Babysitter”, "Oh My Aching Back”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “The Safety Award”, “Mind Your Own Business” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “Alice & The Blonde”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17-24 of the classic 39. The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "A Dog's Life" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: 1/21/56

To my shock, the original script of this surfaced on Ebay in 2014. Unlike "The Sleepwalker", this one cost chump change and here's the link if you want to see it: http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/...d.php?t=333351.

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e18

A game show called: "The $99,000 Answer" comes on and the host of the show (Herb Norris) is with a contestant. Herb asks him a question which the contestant answers correctly. Herb says that he can come back next week and see if he wants to try for the $99,000 Question. The contestant leaves. The next contestant comes in and it's Ralph Kramden. Ralph is all nervous and when he gets asked as to what he does for a living, he says: "I brive a dus." Herb realizes that Ralph drives a bus and tells a story on when it was raining and there was a big puddle of mud that he was standing near and when he waved for a bus, not only did the driver not stop, he drove into the puddle of mud and all the mud went on Herb. Ralph: "Was that you?" Ouch! Herb explains the rules of the game and the category that Ralph picks for the questions is Popular Songs. Time runs out and Ralph is asked to return next week and the game show ends (even though it started a few minutes ago, or so it seems.)

At home that night, Alice & Trixie are raving about Ralph's appearance on the game show. Ralph is under the street light outside hoping someone will recognize him. Trixie: "When Ralph turns profile, he's the biggest thing on TV." She leaves. Ralph enters home. Ralph: "I learned something tonight Alice. You are never too old to learn something and tonight I learned something. There's not one person in this building that hasn't got a jealous nature. Not one person admitted they saw me on the program." Alice says that Trixie was hear and she saw you on the TV and that Trixie explained that Ed and all his friends were at the bowling alley and they saw you on the program. Alice: "Trixie says that you’re the biggest thing on TV." Ralph is happy. He says that they will all take part in the celebration of Ralph winning the $99,000. Ralph: "We will be living on Park Avenue and just wait until you see what this furniture looks like when it's in a Park Avenue apartment." Alice is upset that Ralph thinks it's going to be easy to win all the money given the tough questions. Ralph says that that's why he picked a topic that he likes: Popular Songs. Ralph: "I have always liked music especially popular music. I used to eat, sleep and drink music. Every night, I ended up listening to a dance man." Ralph says that he won't worry about being on the $99,000 Answer (a big show). He is always his BEST under pressure. Alice: "You're a man who brives a dus." Ralph says that a 12-year-old kid came on that program and answered the first question and if a 12-year-old can do it, he could. Alice: "Spell antidistanttablishmentterrism (sp?)." Ralph: "I'll spell it when you give me $16,000 for spelling it." Ralph says that for the program next week, he's going to extremely study. He will be home pretty much 24 hours a day for the next seven days. He's going to buy sheet music and study that and he's going to rent a piano and have Norton come down and play every song that he has ever heard of. He's also going to buy a phonograph and study records. Alice says that that will cost a fortune. Ralph: "When the smoke clears, we will have $99,000." (Doesn't Ralph know that he would probably get less than $99,000 after taxes?) This time I will get my pot of gold." Alice: "Just go for the gold. You already got the pot." Ha!

During the next week, Alice's Mom comes by. Alice's Mom: "How's the brain doing?" Alice says that the piano and the phonograph have been going on since 2am every night. (Why didn't the Kramdens and Nortons get kicked out for Ralph & Ed making so much noise?) Ralph comes home from Mrs. Manicotti's (she was helping him study by singing Italian classic songs) and Alice's Mom wants Ralph to get to the $99,000 Question and she wants to see his face when he misses it. She leaves. Alice complains about all Ralph is doing to win the money. She goes to bed. Ed comes in with more phonographs. So, let the Norton piano playing begin. He warms up for every song by playing "Suwannee River." He did the same thing in "Songwriters" and Ralph recognized the name of the song, but in this latter episode he doesn't. He gets all mad at Norton. Ed (angrily): "A Pitcher warms up before the big game; I have to warm up too. I hope I don't have to tell you this again." With the exception of Suwannee River, Ralph not only gets the title of the songs correct, but who wrote them and what year they were made. Ed warms up by playing "Suwannee River" and plays another song on the sheet, Ralph doesn't guess it. The passage that Ed plays is the Gleason-composed "Melancholy Serenade," the theme of Gleason's variety show, from which the Honeymooners sketches emanated. McGarrity comes in to complain about the noise. (The first time, he makes an on-screen appearance.) Ralph: "You're just jealous that's all and do you know why? Because at this time, tomorrow night, my picture will be on the front page of every newspaper in the country." McGarrity: "So will mine for killing you." He leaves. Gee, when a person wins a million dollars on a game show today, they don't get their picture on the front page of every newspaper. Alice comes out so Ralph blames McGarrity for waking her up. Alice tries to get them to stop playing the piano but to no avail. Alice: "I will be very proud Ralph if you just walked away with $600." Ralph: "$600. Peanuts, peanuts. What am I going to do with peanuts?" Alice: "Eat 'em, like any other elephant." Ha! She goes back to bed while Ralph orders Ed to play the piano more.

The next day on the game show, Ralph is the first contestant. (Whatever happened to the other one?). Ralph says that he studied a little and that he plans to on straight to the $99,000 Question. Herb: "Did you talk this over with your wife?" Ralph: "Yes, I did and regardless, I am going for the $99,000 Question." The first question: "For $100, who is the composer of Suwannee River?" Ralph hears the intro of the song and he remembers that that's the song Ed warmed up before playing the other songs. Ralph: "Ed Norton?" Herb: "The correct answer is Steven Foster. You lost. I'll be seeing you Mr. Kramden." Ralph isn't going to quit though and he keeps on mentioning a song's info when the woman and Herb ask him to leave. Ralph just blew his chances of winning any money.

On the sponsor one, at the end, Jack plugs Buick. The credits roll with a stick figure of Jack in the background.

Episode #127 (Syndicated episode #19)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Young Man With A Horn."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Oh My Aching Back”, “The Babysitter”, “$99,000 Answer”, “A Matter of Record.”, “The Safety Award”, “Mind Your Own Business” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “Alice & The Blonde”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #17-24 of the classic 39. The HD Blu-Ray set has the exact same episodes (including two versions of the following: "The $99,000 Answer", "A Dog's Life" & "Here Comes The Bride" (in which one has the original ads) 60 Minutes Interview & outtakes (in which Jack talks about outtakes).
Air Date: 1/28/56

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e19 ;

Ralph and Ed meet in Central Park. Ed has a new hobby, he's a bird-watcher. Ralph: "The only bird that watches you is a hawk." Ralph accidentally gave a woman a $20 bill instead of a $5. So he asks Ed to loan him some money. Ed would be glad too but Ralph never pays him back. Ralph thinks of an idea of making a "corporation." Ed goes along with the idea. Ed is the chairman of the board, while Ralph is the boss. Ed claims that he saw a Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker bird. Ralph says that at this time of year, they should be very far, far away from here. Ed says that the bird had a yellow belly and was sucking sap. So he says in his notebook that he saw the bird in New Mexico.

A week later, Alice burns her finger on the stove. Ralph: "If you are not burning yourself, it's my food." Alice says that she can't make Ralph dinner now, so Ralph settles for a peanut butter sandwich. Ed comes in and says that it was been a week and he says that Ralph said to him that every time he turned around, he was going to make money (which he hasn't.) Ed: "You certainly have not been a pinwheel." Ed is hungry but when he notices that Ralph doesn't have any food that he likes, he asks if the peanut butter that Ralph is using is crunchy. Ralph: "Yes, it is and I will prove it to you. When this jar hits your head, you will hear a CRUNCH!" A man walks in with news. He knew an old lady that used to go on Ralph's bus. SH has died. Ralph is saddened, but when he hears that that old lady named Mrs. Monohan had $40,000,000 and she had asked Ralph to come hear the reading of her will and she had lent Ralph something big for him to claim, Ralph is so happy that he faints. Of course, he thinks he's going to get the $40,000,000.

The day of the will reading, Ralph is happy. He thinks he's going to get the $40,000,000. Alice says that Ralph shouldn't get his hopes up and that he might not get the $40,000,000. Ralph says that the old lady liked him a lot. Alice says that some of that money should go to Norton since they formed a "corporation." Ralph says that he will take care of him. He claims that if Norton would get his hands on a big amount of money, that he will neglect Trixie and that he won't allow that to happen. Oh boy! Ed comes down with a suitcase and says when he gets his hands on his share of the money (35%), he will take Trixie on a honeymoon and they won't hitchhike this time. Hitchhiking on a honeymoon, huh? I'll bet any person would be too happy about that. Ralph tries to of course, cheat Norton out of his share by first asking Norton to make sure that suitcase would hold the money by cutting up pieces of paper that will resemble 40,000,000. Ed shows that it does. He cut up pieces of paper in the shape of 40,000,000 dollar bills. Ralph then tires to cheat Norton by saying that after he gets his 35% of the money, he will get literally nothing after taxes. Ed doesn't mind.

At the old lady's home, the maid asks Fortune the bird to eat his breakfast. The bird won't. He is upset about Mrs. Monohan dying. Ralph and Norton arrive and the will reading begins. Ed claps after hearing one person getting something from the will. (He picked it up by watching the quiz shows.) When Ralph hears that he will get her fortune, he naturally thinks that he will get the money, but is upset that he will get her pet bird. Both Ralph and Norton faint. Of course, Ed says that he owns 35% of the bird before he faints.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com
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