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Old 04-03-2012, 04:29 PM   #1
vasastan
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Default Funny Dorothy lines

This thread has probably already been started but since I couldn't find it & I was strapped for time I decided to just start a new one.

What is your favorite Dorothy (Bea Arthur) quote or line? I love the following one:

Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas

[Blanche compares herself to one of "Charlie's Angels"] Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier!

Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!
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Old 04-03-2012, 07:53 PM   #2
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Stan, Sophia, Blanche and Rose are sitting in the living room watching Stan's commercial for the "Zborni" potato opener when Rose says something like "I want a Zborni, how exactly does it work" and Dorothy says "I put up with it for 38 years, you don't want to know."
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Old 04-03-2012, 10:39 PM   #3
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When Sophia was missing in the hospital:

Blanche: So did you find Sophia?

Dorothy: Yes, Blanche, but I hid her again so you could find her!

Same episode, after the 3 "girls" find Sophia on the elevator:

Sophia confesses why she got her hernia.

Dorothy: Oh Ma, it doesn't matter, I'm just so glad we found you......

Rose, Push Morgue.
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:44 AM   #4
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Dorothy talking about Stan's family:

They're the only people I know that eat chicken and then smell their fingers the rest of the day.
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Old 04-16-2012, 11:17 AM   #5
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I know I probably won't get this completely correct but I laugh everytime she does this part:

"Excuse me, everybody, that gentleman sitting over there in the blue suit at table 5 is impotent. Bon Appetit."
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Old 04-16-2012, 11:18 AM   #6
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Stan: I an but a humble servant.

Dorothy: Mr.Belevedere was a humble servant, you're a horse's ass.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:01 PM   #7
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Talking I've Got One



Dorothy: Blanche, have you heard of the latest campaigns? "Join the navy, see the world... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"? "Join the army, be all you can be... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"?

[getting angry]

Dorothy: "The marines are looking for a few good men who have *not* slept with Blanche Devereaux"!

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Old 04-16-2012, 02:27 PM   #8
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the last one is what i remember the most about it my favorite qoute of that episode lol
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Old 04-16-2012, 03:20 PM   #9
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BLANCHE: Look at the way she's flirting with him! Disgusting!
ROSE: You flirted with him.
BLANCHE: I'm from the south. Flirting is part of my heritage.
ROSE: What do you mean?
DOROTHY: Her mother was a slut too.


DOROTHY: There is more to Edie than meets the eye. But all we have in common is under the sheets.
ROSE: What's under the sheets?
DOROTHY: His cappuccino maker.


DOROTHY: I have a date tonight.
BLANCHE: With a man?
DOROTHY: No, Blanche. With a venus fly trap.


DOROTHY: Stanley, you're a pig in a cheap suit.
STANLEY: You know, for two cents...
DOROHY: You could buy a better toupet?
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Old 04-16-2012, 05:12 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phoebe7165
I know I probably won't get this completely correct but I laugh everytime she does this part:

"Excuse me, everybody, that gentleman sitting over there in the blue suit at table 5 is impotent. Bon Appetit."
I believe she said that to Stanley's brother. She was dating him and it turned out he was a sleeze-bag just like Stan.
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Old 04-17-2012, 06:55 AM   #11
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Sophia: I need the money for my old age.
Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore.

Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.

Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying.

Sophia: My hiney's asleep.
Dorothy: Fine, we'll keep our voices down.
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Old 04-18-2012, 09:11 PM   #12
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that last one is one of my favorites!


Blanche: You can't keep him, Rose.

Rose: Why can't I keep the dog?

Dorothy: Rose, there's no one home during the day to take care of him!

Sophia: I'm home during the day!

Dorothy: There's no one lucid home during THE DAY!
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:38 AM   #13
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[Blanche and Dorothy are discussing Blanche's birthday gift to Rose: a detective to follow around Miles]

Blanche: Well I can't take it back, I paid in advance
Dorothy: Can't you get a refund?
Blanche: Well, no, I paid with nature's credit card
Dorothy: You never leave home without it.
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Old 04-20-2012, 09:13 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markway895
I believe she said that to Stanley's brother. She was dating him and it turned out he was a sleeze-bag just like Stan.
Yes, I'm familiar with the episode. She was pissed at him because he asked her to babysit while he went off with the flight attendant and to get back at him, she announced to everybody in the restaurant that he was impotent. She said it about Stan's brother, not to him.
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Old 04-22-2012, 01:24 AM   #15
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"LESBIAN, Blanche, not LEBANESE!!!" makes me howl whenever I hear it.
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