Sitcoms Online - Main Page / Message Boards - Main Page / News Blog / Photo Galleries / DVD Reviews / Buy TV Shows on DVD and Blu-ray

View Today's Active Threads / View New Posts / Mark All Boards Read / Chit Chat Board

Games / Movies / Music / Sports / Random Posts / Politics


Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums  

Go Back   Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums > Chit Chat
User Name
Password


Welcome to the Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, search, view attachments, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

SitcomsOnline.com News Blog Headlines Twitter Facebook Instagram RSS

I Love Lucy Special on CBS in May; Sitcom Stars on Talk Shows (Week of April 20, 2015)
LAFF Launch Schedule and Acquires Spin City; Season 4 of Orange Is the New Black Coming to Netflix
ABC Family 2015 Upfront; Crackle 2015 Upfront
The CW Summer 2015 Schedule Includes Comedy Significant Mother; HBO Renews Veep, Silicon Valley
2015 TV Land Awards Memorable Moments; ABC Family Greenlights 2 Pilots
Week 29 TV Ratings and Analysis; How the Sitcoms Did
SitcomsOnline Digest: More Arrested Development for Netflix; Hobbyist Creates Golden Girls LEGO Set; Simpsons DVDs Possibly Coming to an End?


New on DVD/Blu-ray (April)

Barney Miller - The Complete Seventh Season Frasier - The Complete Series What's Happening!! - The Complete Series The Jeffersons - Season Seven Sgt. Bilko (The Phil Silvers Show) - The Second Season

04/07 - Barney Miller - The Complete Seventh Season
04/07 - The Brady Bunch - The Complete Series
04/07 - The Crazy Ones - The Complete First Season
04/07 - Frasier - The Complete Series
04/07 - King of the Hill - The Complete 9th Season
04/07 - King of the Hill - The Complete 10th Season
04/07 - 1600 Penn - The Complete Season 1
04/07 - Wanda at Large - The Complete First Season (WBShop.com)
04/07 - Wilfred - The Complete Season 4
04/14 - Growing Pains - The Complete Fourth Season (WBShop.com)
04/21 - What's Happening!! - The Complete Series (Mill Creek)
04/28 - I Love Lucy - I Love Mom Edition
04/28 - The Jeffersons - Season Seven
04/28 - Mama's Family - Mama's Favorites: Season 5
04/28 - Sgt. Bilko (The Phil Silvers Show) - The Second Season
More TV DVD Releases / DVD Reviews Archive / SitcomsOnline Digest



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-09-2014, 01:54 PM   #601
Penny Lane
Forum Veteran
Go Tigers!
 
Penny Lane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 03, 2001
Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies
Posts: 20,971
Default

Attached Images
 
__________________
"Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin' is gone"- John Mellencamp
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 11:24 PM   #602
bonniegirl62
Senior Member
Member
 
bonniegirl62's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 10, 2014
Posts: 6,046
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Penny Lane


Cute!!


Here is how Frosty got his nose!!!!


  Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2014, 02:55 PM   #603
bonniegirl62
Senior Member
Member
 
bonniegirl62's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 10, 2014
Posts: 6,046
Default

  Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2015, 10:59 PM   #604
Family Ties Forever!
Moderator
Member
 
Family Ties Forever!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 16, 2002
Location: Keaton Residence
Posts: 7,039
Default (in an e-mail)

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply.

The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that"?

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
__________________
Jenny

Last edited by Family Ties Forever! : 01-26-2015 at 03:57 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2015, 12:07 AM   #605
Foggy
Frequent Poster
Member
 
Foggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 20, 2014
Location: Zanesville Ohio
Posts: 119
Default

Twenty Questions

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
__________________
A lie doesn't become truth
wrong doesn't become right
evil doesn't become good
just because it is accepted by a majority
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2015, 07:24 PM   #606
JamesG
Moderator
Forum Celebrity
Freakshow
 
JamesG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 01, 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 30,172
Default

Saw this one online. How the many religions deal w/ sh*t.



Catholicism:
If **** happens, you deserve it.


Protestantism:
**** happens because you're not working hard enough.


Presbyterian:
This **** was bound to happen.


Lutheran:
If **** happens, don't talk about it.


Fundamentalism:
If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)


Judaism:
Why does this **** always happen to us?


Christian Science:
The **** is all in your mind.


Jehovah's Witnesses:
May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ****?


Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this ****!


Buddhism:
If **** happens, it isn't really ****.


Hinduism:
This **** has happened before.


Islam:
If **** happens, kill the one responsible.


Agnostic:
**** might have happened; then again, maybe not.



Atheism:
What ****?
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2015, 09:55 AM   #607
Penny Lane
Forum Veteran
Go Tigers!
 
Penny Lane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 03, 2001
Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies
Posts: 20,971
Default

.
Attached Images
 
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2015, 08:40 PM   #608
bonniegirl62
Senior Member
Member
 
bonniegirl62's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 10, 2014
Posts: 6,046
Default

That's funny Marlene!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2015, 12:00 PM   #609
Penny Lane
Forum Veteran
Go Tigers!
 
Penny Lane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 03, 2001
Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies
Posts: 20,971
Default

TO MY POLITICALLY INCORRECT FRIENDS



>
> A fleeing Taliban
> terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding
> through
> The Afghan desert when he saw
> something far off in the distance. Hoping
> To find water, he hurried toward the
> mirage, only to find a very frail
> Little old Jewish man standing at a
> small makeshift display
> Rack, selling ties. The Taliban
> terrorist asked, "Do you have water?"
> "The Jewish man replied, "I
> have no water. Would you like to buy a
> tie? They
> Are only $5.00.”The Taliban shouted
> hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need
> such
> An over-priced western adornment! I
> spit on your ties. I need
> Water!" "Sorry, I have no
> water. Just ties, pure silk, and only
> $5.00."
> "Pahh! A curse on your ties! I
> should wrap one around your
> Scrawny little neck and choke the life
> out of you, but I must conserve
> My energy and find
> water!"
> "Okay," said the little old
> Jewish man, "It does
> not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or
> that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I
> will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you
> continue over that hill to the east
> For about two miles, you will find a
> restaurant. It has the finest food
> And all the ice-cold water you need.
> Go in peace!"
> Cursing him again, the desperate
> Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he
> crawled back, almost dead, and gasped: "They won't
> let me in without a tie!"
>
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2015, 06:47 PM   #610
Foggy
Frequent Poster
Member
 
Foggy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 20, 2014
Location: Zanesville Ohio
Posts: 119
Default

This is so sad; from a proud, strong country to a laughing stock of the world.
Canadians Version of David Letterman's Top 10.
Just makes you want to shake your head in disbelief, and, just maybe choke someone in charge.

This is Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity.
(Of course if we look like idiots under Obama- we are!)

#10 Only in America... could Democrat politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate for an Obama campaign fund-raising event.

# 09 Only in America...could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black, while only 14% of the population is black, and 40+% of all federal entitlements also goes to black Americans.

# 08 Only in America... could they have had the two people most responsible for the American tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Mean Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

# 07 Only in America... can they have Islams terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

# 06 Only in America... would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens thousands of dollars for the privilege, while Obama lets anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens.
(probably should be number one)

# 05 Only in America... could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be called EXTREMISTS.

# 04 Only in America... could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

#03 Only in America... could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

#02 Only in America... could you collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7 Million PER MINUTE BY OBAMA, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.


And the #1....


# 01 Only in America... could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2015, 02:48 PM   #611
bonniegirl62
Senior Member
Member
 
bonniegirl62's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 10, 2014
Posts: 6,046
Default

  Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2015, 01:16 PM   #612
Penny Lane
Forum Veteran
Go Tigers!
 
Penny Lane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 03, 2001
Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies
Posts: 20,971
Default

A sixth grade child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. Here is what he wrote;

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell;

-In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,"The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that.

-Anyway, God said, "Give me a light!" and someone did.

-Then God made the world.

-He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden ... Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

-Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

-One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

-After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

-Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

-God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His -Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

-Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

-One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

-After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

-After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

-There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

-After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn?" It would be nice to say, ''As a matter of fact, I was.'')

-During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums.The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

-Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:11 AM.


Although the administrators and moderators of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is impossible for us to review all messages. All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards, nor Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message. The owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.5.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.