Sitcoms Online - Main Page / Message Boards - Main Page / News Blog / Photo Galleries / DVD Reviews / Buy TV Shows on DVD and Blu-ray

View Today's Active Threads / View New Posts / Mark All Boards Read / Chit Chat Board

Games / Movies / Music / Sports / Random Posts / Politics


Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums  

Go Back   Sitcoms Online Message Boards - Forums > Chit Chat

Notices

SitcomsOnline.com News Blog Headlines Twitter Facebook Instagram RSS

Netflix Gets 2 More Comedies; YouTube Orders Wayne, a New Comedy
Sitcom Stars on Talk Shows; This Week in Sitcoms (Week of September 24, 2018)
SitcomsOnline Digest: Netflix Orders Multi-Camera Sitcom with Melissa Joan Hart and Sean Astin; Three New Seasons of Bob's Burgers on DVD
Fri-Yay: BoJack Horseman is as Delightfully Sad as Ever in Season 5; The Guest Book Returns Oct. 23 on TBS with More Guests
The Goldbergs Coming to TV Land; grown-ish Returns in January on Freeform
South Park 8 Day Marathon on Comedy Central; Classic Adult Swim Comedy Returns with Special
NBC Fall Pilot Review: I Feel Bad - Premieres Wednesday (Sept. 19); 70th Annual Primetime Emmy Award Winners
Married with Children Now on WGN America; black-ish Enters National Syndication and Free Sneakers Contest


New on DVD/Blu-ray (August/September)

The Big Bang Theory - The Complete Eleventh Season The Middle - The Complete Ninth Season Modern Family - The Complete Ninth Season Step by Step - The Complete Second Season Perfect Strangers - The Complete Fifth Season

08/07 - Happy Endings - The Complete Series (Blu-ray)
08/15 - A.P. Bio - Season One
08/28 - Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Season Five
08/28 - Man Seeking Woman - The Complete Third Season
09/04 - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - The Complete Season 12
09/04 - Mom - The Complete Fifth Season
09/04 - Silicon Valley - The Complete Fifth Season
09/04 - Superstore - Season Three
09/04 - Young Sheldon - The Complete First Season
09/11 - The Big Bang Theory - The Complete Eleventh Season (Blu-ray)
09/11 - The Middle - The Complete Ninth Season
09/11 - Modern Family - The Complete Ninth Season
09/11 - People of Earth - The Complete Second Season
09/18 - Community - The Complete Series (Blu-ray)
09/18 - Step by Step - The Complete Second Season
09/18 - You're the Worst - The Complete Fourth Season
09/25 - Blondie - The Complete 1957 Television Series
09/25 - Perfect Strangers - The Complete Fifth Season
More TV DVD Releases / DVD Reviews Archive / SitcomsOnline Digest


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-17-2006, 11:51 PM   #121
Cactus Jack
RonFingSwanson
Forum Idol
 
Cactus Jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 09, 2001
Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL
Posts: 102,849
Send a message via MSN to Cactus Jack
Default

Guy #1:Wouldnt it be hilarious to go to a taco restraunt owned by Taco?

Guy#2:What would be the theme song for it?


Guy#1:Food Gives Me the Sh*ts?



GUy#2 :Sounds good!

You;re hungry
and you want to get some tacos from that
Guy who had one hit
Puttin on the Ritz
__________________




Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock








April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post!

[/B]
Cactus Jack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2006, 02:08 AM   #122
swedeace
Member
Senior Member
 
swedeace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 22, 2003
Posts: 8,998
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Mel
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was
her stunningly gorgeous younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,
and generally was bra-less. One day, "little" sister called and asked me to
come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings
and desires for me that she just couldn't overcome. She told me that
she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed
my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said,"I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling,just come up and
take me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her bounce up the
stairs.

When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down
the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline
straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards
my
car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said,we are very
happy that you have passed our little test...we couldn't ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is :


ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOMS IN YOUR CAR
That's a good one!!! It sounds familiar. I think I heard it before...
swedeace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2006, 03:40 AM   #123
treky
star trek fan
Forum Veteran
 
treky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 25, 2002
Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania
Posts: 12,842
Default

pilot to teenager-"Wanna fly"?

teenager-"SURE"!

pilot-"Wait a minute, I'll catch one for you".



A fat man and a skinny man walked up to each other.

fat man-"From the looks of you, you've just been through a famine"!

skinny man-"And from the looks of you, you just caused one"!



man #1-"So, what about these taxes"?

man #2-"Texas? My uncle lives there"!

man #1-"No, no, I'm talking about taxes. You know, dollars"!

man #2-"Yea, that's where he lives. Dallas, Texas"!
__________________
the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store.

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."
treky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2006, 09:47 PM   #124
Steve M.
Holding the compass
Forum Celebrity
 
Steve M.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 07, 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 29,725
Default

Q: What do you get when you cross an Argentine cowboy with a wisecracking comedian?

A: Gaucho Marx!
Steve M. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-2006, 11:11 PM   #125
Brad Russ
Member
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 17, 2002
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 10,084
Send a message via Yahoo to Brad Russ
Default

JULY 1947

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claim an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.

This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.

However, you are probably not aware that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day,

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William Jefferson Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

were born.

That piece of information has now cleared up a lot of things
__________________
St. John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

Currently my favorite song.
Brad Russ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2006, 01:40 AM   #126
Brad Russ
Member
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 17, 2002
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 10,084
Send a message via Yahoo to Brad Russ
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by swedeace
That's a good one!!! It sounds familiar. I think I heard it before...
Glad you liked it. It took me about 15 minutes before I understood it, but when I did, I laughed out loud. Anyway, I got it, and I get the majority of my jokes through emails. That might be where you heard it before.
Brad Russ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2006, 11:23 PM   #127
Janice
No one gets out alive.
Administrator
Forum Celebrity
 
Janice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 03, 2001
Location: Beantown
Posts: 36,047
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Mel
JULY 1947

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claim an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.

This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the US Air Force and the federal government.

However, you are probably not aware that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day,

Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William Jefferson Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

were born.

That piece of information has now cleared up a lot of things
That's funny. We need one for the Republicans.
Janice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2006, 10:03 AM   #128
dragster58
Member
Forum Regular
 
dragster58's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 12, 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 613
Default

"" When it comes down to the facts I laugh And walk away"
Mickey Mouse
More peeps should do just that!!!
dragster58 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2006, 08:57 PM   #129
Steve M.
Holding the compass
Forum Celebrity
 
Steve M.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 07, 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 29,725
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janice
That's funny. We need one for the Republicans.

Dig this. George Bush and Sylvester Stallone were both born on July 6, 1946.

I won't say it. . . it's too easy a shot!
Steve M. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2006, 12:36 AM   #130
Ricky88
Celebrity King
Frequent Poster
 
Ricky88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 12, 2004
Location: Anaheim, California
Posts: 226
Default

-Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?

-He wanted to beat the crowd.
Ricky88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2006, 02:01 AM   #131
treky
star trek fan
Forum Veteran
 
treky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 25, 2002
Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania
Posts: 12,842
Default

who's Ron Artest???
treky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2006, 02:10 AM   #132
Ricky88
Celebrity King
Frequent Poster
 
Ricky88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 12, 2004
Location: Anaheim, California
Posts: 226
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by treky
who's Ron Artest???

The basketball player who jumped the fans in Detroit two years ago.
Ricky88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2006, 02:17 AM   #133
treky
star trek fan
Forum Veteran
 
treky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 25, 2002
Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania
Posts: 12,842
Default

oh; you should have mentioned that; I'm sure a lot of other people her are also not into sports like me.
treky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2006, 06:27 PM   #134
Steve M.
Holding the compass
Forum Celebrity
 
Steve M.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 07, 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 29,725
Default

A carjacker cuts off a car and runs up to the driver's window with a sawed-off shotgun. "Your car or your wife!" he yells.

The driver throws his wife out of the car and drives away.

The carjacker yells, "Come back here, you willy wivered wouse!"

Steve M. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2007, 05:01 AM   #135
mrnyc84
Member
Occasional Poster
 
Join Date: Jan 06, 2007
Location: vegas
Posts: 2
Default

what do you call the white stuff in a girls panties? clitty litter
mrnyc84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:47 PM.


Although the administrators and moderators of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards will attempt to keep all objectionable messages off this forum, it is impossible for us to review all messages. All messages express the views of the author, and neither the owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards, nor vBulletin Solutions Inc. (developers of vBulletin) will be held responsible for the content of any message. The owners of the Sitcoms Online Message Boards reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason.

VigLink badge

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.