Funny Dorothy lines

[Dianne3]

Dorothy: Blanche, I'm leaving you in charge of my mother.

Blanche: Me, why not Rose?

Dorothy: Rose couldn't keep our rock garden (?) alive, I'm going to give her my mother? (can't remember exact words)

In the final episode where Dorothy is telling Lucas what specifically Blanche, Sophia and Rose taught her, she draws a blank with Rose. Then she comes up with Rose taught me to tie a ? knot. (again can't remember exact words)

[jmann]

Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying.

Rose: Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain.
Dorothy: Rose, honey. Maybe we should leave it alone and let it heal.

Blanche: This is strictly off the record but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am.
Dorothy: In what, Blanche, dog years?

Dorothy: [to Sophia] You're a furry little gnome and we feed you too much.

[Dianne3]

To Stan: Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him, Camp Snoopy?

To Blanche: These aren't the best years of your life, these are the last years of your life.

[catlover79]

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[Dianne3]

Dorothy:
I've just beeen thrown out of an unauthorized Elvis Fan Club.
I'll try and pick up the pieces and move on with my life.
Surely there must be some kind of support group for people like me.

Sophia: What is everyone talking about?
Dorothy: I can honestly say I have no idea.
Rose: We started talking about Ms. Claxton's funeral
Dorothy: and somewhere we segued (sp?) way into Blanche, the mini-series.

In the episode where Stan's cousin Magda visits, Dorothy agrees with everything Magda says until she says "Now I come stay with you" to which Dorothy responds "but I hear Stan has cable."

[catlover79]

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[jmann]

Originally Posted by Dianne3

Dorothy:
I've just been thrown out of an unauthorized Elvis Fan Club.
I'll try and pick up the pieces and move on with my life.
Surely there must be some kind of support group for people like me.
"

This is one of my favorite scenes in the whole series. At the beginning of the episode Rose passes around a jar with a partially eaten pork chop and Dorothy says" This is obviously a fake. Elvis would never leave this much meat on a bone"

[catlover79]

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[ThomasE]

Originally Posted by catlover79

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Dorothy finds ex hubby Stan and her sister Gloria together in Dorothy's bed.
Dorothy: Officers, shoot these people!
Officer #1: We can only shoot looters, ma'am.
Dorothy: I understand. Stan, pick up the TV on your way out.

Dorothy: Blanche, you're all talk and no action...just like your sex life.
Blanche: Are you saying that I'm not a tramp? Just why do you think they call me the female Ted Kennedy?
Dorothy: Because you look like him.

Dorothy arrives to the Golden Palace Hotel.
Chuy: Oye, Mamacita! Do you move as good a you look?
Dorothy: Walk away now and noone gets hurt!
Chuy: You must be Dorothy!

Minutes later...
Cab Driver: Excuse me, Miss? I was counting this fair and I think you forgot the tip.
Dorothy: A tip? A tip. Let's review your performance, shall we? You ran over my luggage. You took the freeway during rush hour and you stopped your car three times to sell fruit out the back of trunk. A tip? Walk away now and no one gets hurt!
Roland: You must be Dorothy!

[lisaemma83]

Originally Posted by vasastan

This thread has probably already been started but since I couldn't find it & I was strapped for time I decided to just start a new one.

What is your favorite Dorothy (Bea Arthur) quote or line? I love the following one:

Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas

[Blanche compares herself to one of "Charlie's Angels"] Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier!

Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!

"Shady Pines, MA!"

[ThomasE]

Originally Posted by lisaemma83

"Shady Pines, MA!"

(To Lucas) Dorothy: Well, I haven't frolicked since...well since the day I dropped my mother off at Shady Pines...It was a good day.

(To her sister, Gloria) Dorothy: You have no money. You're poor.
Gloria: I know, Dorothy.
Dorothy: No. You think about that! You have nothing. Zilch! No mas dinero.
Sophia walks in and hits Dororthy.
Dorothy:...but you're my sister and I'm here for you.

[Kristen]

When Sophia is being interviewed as a prospective nun, Dorothy wants to stay and watch the interview. She tells her mother, "I'd go outside, but there don't seem to be any shady pines to sit under." hehe!

Blanche asks why Dorothy's college roommate prefers women over men. She says, "A man has so much more to offer."
Dorothy replies, "I learned that in the third grade when Mark Perper ran for class president. His slogan was, "Vote for me, and I'll show you my wee-wee. He won by a landslide."



Wish I could think of more off the top of my head, but a lot of times it was Bea's delivery moreso than the line that made you laugh.

[Ohio8]

"What about the vapors, Blanche? Shouldn't she be overcome by the vapors?"

[Ohio8]

"Good night, Ma. Good night, Moe. Good night, Larry."

[Ohio8]

To Blanche: "...she likes to think of herself as the godfather. I'll just make her an offer that she can't remember."