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Old 10-19-2005, 04:50 PM   #256
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HAir Today,Gone Tomorrow
Jack:Isn't she...getting to be a problem?

Zack: (Sarcastically)Sure,Jack.Terri can't keep her tongue out of your throat.You really got a problem .I gotta go to work now(leaves)

Janet:What's with him?

JAck:He likes Terri,but doesn't want anyone to know

Janet:Then Why are you telling me?

Jack:I have no idea

Zack:JACK,YOU BIG MOUTH!
-------------------------------
Janet:What was the first thing you noticed about Terri?

Jack:I don't know about you,but I noticed her little

Janet:JACK!

Zack:Well I first noticed her nice,big

Janet:ZACK!

Zack:Well,when I first met Terri,that's the first thing I saw of her
-----------------------------------
Janet:Terri,I got something to tell you

Terri:What?

Janet:Jack told me that Zack

Zack: (covers her mouth)I was jealous of Jack getting so much attention
__________________
Mickie is the best woman to step inside the ring
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOTh3hVT0HU

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Old 10-20-2005, 11:14 AM   #257
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Macho Man
Janet:Good morning,Zack

Zack: (eyes burning)Good morning

Cindy:What's wrong,Zack?

Zack:My eyes hurt from that guy who splashed beer in my face at the Beagle,but I got revenge when I punched him

Jack:You hit the bartender

Zack:Oh no

Janet:I can't get this jar opened

Jack:Mr.Muscle,hoowah!(tries to open it,but can't).It'll take dynamite to open that

Terri:Good morning

Jack:Anyway,marmalade is fatting

Terri: (opens the jar)Here you go

Janet:Thanks,Terri

Cindy:

Zack: Either it's my eyes seeing things or Terri just opened up the jar you couldn't open
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Old 10-21-2005, 02:29 PM   #258
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Strangers In The Night
JAck: (singing)Arabella,I love you truely,truely

Terri:Maybe you should send her flowers

Zack:Or earplugs if you plan to sing to her
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Old 10-21-2005, 02:34 PM   #259
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Extra,Extra
Hank:Wow Janet,you look gorgeous

Jack:Are those perscription glasses?

Zack:Jack,if you don't agree with him,then you need glasses
--------------------------------------------------
Terri:Where's that article?

Zack:

Janet:What's so funny?

Zack:Oh that Beetle Baily.He cracks me up.Look out,Sarge
--------------------------------------------
Jack:One Run Down Apartment + Two American Men + Two Knock Out Girls + 1/3 the rent =4 times the fun

Janet:Ooh he called us knock outs

Jack:You can't believe anything you read today

Zack:Yeah,Run Down apartment.Janet,if he didn't go out with you,I would say that this guy has no taste

--------------------------------------------------------
Zack:Hey Terri,how has your day been

Terri:Good,how 'bout you

Zack:Let's just say that you need to give less arthreitis pills for their hands

Terri: I'll get to it after I take care of the next patient

Zack:Ok

Terri:Come along doctor

Doctor:right behind you(pinches her)

Terri:Ooh!

Zack:Hey,you can't treat her that way(knocks him out)
--------------------------------------------------------
Terri: (sexy voice)It's all false

Janet: (sexy voice)Every bit of it

Jack:Will you cut that out

Terri: (sexy voice)It's all true

Janet: (sexy voice)Every bit of it

Jack:Girls

Janet:But we're just two lonely girls

Terri:Living with a strong and handsome man

(The girls pinch him)

Jack:Ow!

Girl:I'm going to take this with me.You got enough play things already

Jack:Zack,you tell her what goes around here

Zack:Jack doesn't fool around with the girls at the same time

Jack:You see

Zack:We switch girls every other day.Isn't that right,our love slaves(slaps the girls on the butt)

Girls:Oooh that's right

Girl:I'll take this with me.You already got enough play things of your own(leaves)

Jack:There goes the best bumper car partner

Zack:Looks like you're gonna drive solo tonight

Janet:Who cares what she thinks

Terri:Let her have her little fantasy.As long as we know it's not true,who what others think

Jack:Alright,alright

Zack:So you finally get it

Girls:Yeah

(Doorbell rings)

Zack:Why do I feel death arriving?

Jack:You can take your dirty mind out of here

Janet:Who was it?

Jack:My mother.MY MOTHER?!

Zack:So that's why
------------------------------------------------------

Mr.Tripper:Jack,you're gonna pack your things and move in with me back in San Diego

Zack:The flying monkeys aren't good enough for you?
---------------------------------------------------
Mrs.Tripper:And I warn you about city girls that are Hussies

Zack: DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT TERRI LIKE THAT!MRS.ALDEN MAY BE RIGHT ABOUT JACK,BUT YOU'RE DEAD WRONG ABOUT TERRI!

Janet:I'd like to speak to you all in the kitchen

(as they go into the kitchen,Zack turns around)

Zack:THIS ISN'T OVER!(they go into the kitchen)

Mrs.Tripper:You'll have to excuse my nephew,he's never had any luck with girls
------------------------------
Terri:My mother?I was talking about your's

Jack:My mother?

Terri:Yes,she's a troublemaker

Jack:Mommy?

Zack: (mocking)yes,mommy
--------------
Janet:Now lets go back out there

Jack:Not until she takes back about what she said about what she said about mommy

Terri:I'd rather kiss a toad!

Zack:Terri,why would you rather kiss her than apologize to her?(thinking)Well no matter what,we're say goodbye to something

Terri:What?

Zack:My girl on girl fantasy(looks up in the air)bye bye
------------------------------------------------
Zack:Let me tell you something.Jack,your mother is here to take you away from the best thing that happened to you.Terri,your sister is here because she was just worried about you

Mrs.Alden: (flattered)Sister,(to Terri)I like him

Mrs.Tripper:That's coming from someone who enjoys watching men wrestle in tights

Zack:What happened to you?Did a house fall on you again?
-----------------------------------------------------
Zack:You don't have to worry about Terri,Mrs.Alden.I'm always protecting her & Janet by beating up guys who are bothering them.My hand hurts really bad today because there a bunch of guys who kept pinching them and all that

Mrs.Alden:Aren't you sweet

Mrs.Tripper:That's probably not true.I bet it's from being in the bathroom by himself thinking about the girls,if you know what I mean

Zack:Oh shut up you sick freak!
----------------------------------
Zack:I wanna know why you don't like me

Mrs.Tripper:Because with you into that wrestling,you were a bad influence for Jack.And another thing..(Zack shuts the door on her)

Zack:Yap yap yap yap yap

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Old 10-21-2005, 02:35 PM   #260
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Jack Goes The Distance(this would be if it was a wrestling match)
(the ref is accidently knocked down)

Biff: (to Jack)Now I'm gonna finish you off

Zack:Not so fast(Bif swings at him,but Zack ducks and gives him a RKO,put Jack's arm over Bif,gets out of the ring before the ref sees him and Jack covers Bif)

Ref:1,2,3(raises Jack's hand)Winner

Janet:Jack,you did it

Zack:Wrestling's in our blood

Terri:Congradulations Jack

Zack: (whispers to the girls)Remember not to tell Jack that I helped him

Girls:Gotcha

(this shows how much Zack cares about his cousin
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Old 10-21-2005, 02:37 PM   #261
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Critic's Choice
Zack:Jack,I don't like the way he's treating the girls.He's got three strikes and then I'll go after him
------------------
Jack:What's wrong?

Janet:He was just telling us about a recipe

Terri:You know a pinch of this and a pinch of that

Zack: (to Jack)Strike 1
-----------------------------
Jack:Breast or thigh(Jason looks at Terri)

Zack:HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE FOOD!(silently to Jack)Strike 2
---------------------------------------
(sees Jason kiss Janet

Zack:Strike 3!

Jason:And now the floxin haired beauty

Zack:Oh no you don't(as Jason DeFarge is about to go and kiss Terri,he takes him down with a Superkick ).That's what you get you dirty little pervert!You wanted music?You got some Sweet Chin Music!

Chloe: (coming out of Jack's room)You poor man

Jason:I'm uh Jason DeFarge

Chloe:Chloe Brown,a stew

Jason:My favorite dish

Jack:Now he tells me

JAson:You wanna go out

Chloe:Sure

Jason:Lets go

Jack:Wait,what about my meal

Jason:You gotta learn not to stuff your guests.Now lets go.How 'bout a place just for drinks.My jaw hurts from having all that food(they leave)

Jack:Zack,you ruined my chance of getting the food critic to writing a great column about me.Not only that,you costed me my date

Terri:He was only defending us

Janet:Yeah,aren't we more imprtant than some stupid column?

Jack:Of course,but now I won't be able to get a job as a chef

Zack:Not exactly(calls Jason Defarges phone)Hello,Mr.Defarge.This is Zack Tripper,Jack Trippers cousin.He wants to thank you for letting him know that you're gonna give him a great review
-------------------------------------
Jack:Where's that column?

Zack:Here it is.Jack,you do the honors

Jack:GREAT CHEF FOUND .I want you all to remember this name,Zack Tripper.ZACK TRIPPER?!

Terri:I didn't know you knew how to cook

Zack:Me neither

Last edited by Chain Gang Member; 11-28-2005 at 06:53 PM.
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Old 10-22-2005, 03:06 PM   #262
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Matchbreakers
(Larry comes in dressed like a woman)

Larry:Yoohoo!

Zack: (whispering to the girls)Larry's some kind of weirdo.He's going out with a girl that looks just like him
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Old 10-24-2005, 05:30 PM   #263
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Out On A Limb
(Terri grabs the check )

Terri:I've got it(runs out the door)

Zack:Wait for me,Terri(Terri accidently closes the door and he hits his head when the door is slammed on him and falls down)Ow!(goes out the door holding his forehead)
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Old 10-27-2005, 11:35 AM   #264
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The Impossible Dream
Terri:Have ever heard a worse sound

Zack:Remember when Jack tried to sing

Girls:Oh yeah

Zack:He makes Larry sound like Frank Sinatra,and that's bad

Janet:You're telling me
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Old 11-01-2005, 07:24 PM   #265
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And Here's Jack
(They see Zack sleeping on his bed behind the couch)

Jack:Oh good.Zack didn't see the show

Zack:Oh hi.Jack,you really made a fool out of yourself on TV

Jack:How did you know?

Janet:You were just sleeping

Zack:I wasn't sleepin.I was knocked unconscious by the door as I was laughing

Terri:Was there anything good on the show?

Zack:Yes.Terri,from the closeup on the TV,you have lovely blue eyes

Terri:Thanks,Zack

Zack:And you have a even better "smile." Cheek to cheek

Terri:

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Old 11-01-2005, 08:10 PM   #266
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ANd Here's Jack

Jack:Hi mom,what's new in San Diego?

Mrs.Tripper: (on the phone)

Jack:Mom?

Zack:I'll make her stop laughing.( goes into Jack's room,takes out a blow horn and blows it into the phone)She won't be laughing at you at least for a while

Jack:She'll be deaf for a while

Zack:I bet people would be happier she wouldn't yap for a while
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Old 11-09-2005, 06:16 PM   #267
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Borrowing Troubles
Larry:Hey there,hi there,ho there.This is Cowboy Billy Bob

Zack: (taking the phone away from him)And I'm Rowdy Rocky Rhodes

Terri:Zack,what are you doing?We're just here to supervise Larry and make sure he doesn't screw up

Zack:Terri,don't you know that all DJs these days have a partner

Terri:Oh,I see
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Old 11-10-2005, 02:36 PM   #268
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Father of the Bride
(this is the only quote without Zack in it)
WInston:Who are they?

Janet:They're Cindy's babies

Winston:Where did they come from?

Jack:Winston,you're getting married and you don't know that?

Winston:I meant if Cindy's they're mother,who the father?

Jack:Um my cousin,Zack
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Old 11-11-2005, 12:52 PM   #269
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Sunday Brunch
JAck:How do I look?

Zack:Jack,you may be a good looking man,but you are an ugly woman
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Old 11-22-2005, 03:22 PM   #270
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Star Struck
Jack:Zack,if you love Terri,how come you won't tell her

Zack:Jack,are you high?It would create tension in the apartment,Terri won't know how to react,and it's also against the our rules that we can't date our roomates.I will find the right time to tell her how I feel.As for now,I'd much rather have her as a friend then to not have her in my life at all.

Jack:That's deep,Zack
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