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Old 05-06-2008, 12:43 PM   #346
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Star Struck
(Zack's sitting on the couch depressed about Terri engaged to Bret Wade and Larry knocks on the door)
Jack:It's open Larry

Larry:Hey gang.(sees Zack)What wrong Zack?

Janet:He's depressed about Terri about to marry Bret Wade

Jack:Not only that,but he's been having mood swings.First he's depressed then mad and then relaxed.Maybe you can cheer him up

Larry:Come on Zack.You gotta start feeling better about life

Zack:Why?Terri's gonna be marrying that pretty boy jerk and will probably forget all about me.There's nothing good about life now

Larry:That's not true.To get back being happy,you've gotta release your inner Zack

Zack:What?!

Larry:I mean your inner child.Like being a kid going to Disney Land and you hear the music there.Like (singing)it's a small world after all.It's a small world after all.It's a small world after ahhh(Zack starts choking him)

Zack:IT IS NOT A SMALL WORLD!IT IS A PAINFUL UGLY WORLD!(lets go of him and goes in the kitchen)

Larry:What was that all about?

Jack: Don't worry.He'll be better in a minute.3,2,1

(Zack comes out)

Zack:Sorry Larry.I've just not been myself lately

Larry:It's ok buddy

Zack:By the way.It's a small world?Dude,what have you been smoking?
__________________
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Last edited by Chain Gang Member; 02-19-2012 at 06:06 PM.
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Old 01-26-2009, 06:54 PM   #347
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?
(Terri introduces her date)
Terri:This is

Zack:Wait i know who you are.You are Ricado

Ricardo:That's Ricardo

Zack:Ricago

Ricardo:Ricardo

Zack:Ricongo

Ricardo:Ricardo

Zack:Ritango

Ricardo:Ricardo

Zack:Rimango

Ricardo: (starts yelling in mexican)ME LLAMA RICARDO GOMEZ!

Zack:Well course.We know your name is Ricardo
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Old 11-30-2009, 03:09 PM   #348
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?
Larry knocks on the door
Janet:It's open Larry

Larry: (comes in)Hey girls.Is Zack here?

Terri:He's in the kitchen.Why?

Larry:Well I've been taking a management course because there's this promotion for everyone and I've decided that if I pass this class,it might convince my boss into giving.So I asked Zack to read my paper that'll be the reason I pass or fail this course

(Zack comes out of the kitchen)

Larry:So how'd you like my paper?

Zack:It was good.Although I think you had Jack's ex-girlfriend write your paper

Larry:Why would think that?

(Mr.Furley comes in)

Furley:Hey kids.What's new?

Zack:Well Mr.Furley.Larry's taking a management course to help him get a promotion and says he wrote this paper that could cause him to fail or not

Larry:I did

Zack:Ok.If you did,then explain this part about "wanting to kiss Jack all over"

All:What?!

Zack: (reading the paper)"Only having Jack's arms around me can consume the darkness of my soul.Why Jack?Why?I was gonna let you be my first."

Larry: Okay.That I can't explain

Zack: (gives him back his report)If I were you,I'd redo it or your classmates & professor will laugh at you thinking you're a 30 year old gay virgin
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Old 06-04-2011, 10:01 AM   #349
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(Zack getting into shouting battles from a guy acrossed the street)
Guy:Hey Tripper you loser!How many times are you gonna get dumped by your girlfriends?!

Zack:Not as many times as other men have been in bed with your wife!
--------------------------------------------------------
Guy:Hey Tripper!You should be like my son because unlike you,he has been going out with dozens of girls this week

Zack:Well I go out with certain girls because I like them while I bet your son goes out with girls to find out if he has the same dress size as them!
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Old 10-22-2011, 04:33 PM   #350
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?
Jack:What happened with that girl we set you up with yesterday?
Zack:I dumped her.
Larry:Well well well.I guess you're the love'em & leave'em type of guy after all
Zack:What are you talking about?Nothing happened but I had to dump her
Jack:How come?
Zack:She's a huge crybaby.She cries at everything.She cries at the drop of a hat and I'm serious when I say that.She saw a guy drop his hat and bursted into tears.

Last edited by Chain Gang Member; 02-16-2012 at 04:38 PM.
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Old 12-05-2011, 12:20 AM   #351
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member
?
Jack:What happened with that girl we you up with yesterday?
Zack:I dumped her.
Larry:Well well well.I guess you're the love'em & leave'em type of guy after all
Zack:What are you talking about?Nothing happened but I had to dump her
Jack:How come?
Zack:She's a huge crybaby.She cries at everything.She cries at the drop of a hat and I'm serious when I say that.She saw a guy drop his hat and bursted into tears.
These quotes are funny! Zack sure makes me laugh. More quotes please!
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Old 02-10-2012, 08:58 PM   #352
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?
Janet:Hey Jack.Why were you in the bathroom so long?
Jack:I had to make sure I looked perfect for my date tonight so she can see that she's with the best looking guy in town.
(Zack comes in)
Zack:I am tired of that doctor from the hospital acrossed from us.
Terri:Why?What'd he do?
Zack:He keeps insulting me,taking my parking spots when we're at the same places and today he took the last wrestling magazine on the shelf.I bet he doesn't even like wrestling.He probably did it just make me angry.
Jack:Come on Zack.The guy isn't that bad.He fixed me up with his niece.
Zack:Oh go back to staring at yourself.

Last edited by Chain Gang Member; 02-14-2012 at 08:32 PM.
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Old 02-13-2012, 11:46 AM   #353
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member
?
Janet:Hey Jack.Why were you in the bathroom so long?
Jack:I had to make sure I looked perfect for my date tonight so she can see that she's with the best looking guy in town.
(Zack comes in)
Zack:I am tired of that doctor from the hospital acrossed from us.
Terri:Why?What'd he do?
Zack:He keeps insulting me,taking my parking spots when we're at the same places and today he took the last wrestling magazine on the shelf.I bet he doesn't even like wrestling.He probably did it just make me angry.
Jack:Come Zack.The guy isn't that bad.He fixed me up with his niece.
Zack:Oh go back to staring at yourself.
Ok now that was funny! LOL
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Old 02-25-2012, 03:28 PM   #354
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Jack:Zack you need to get out more and meet new women.How about me & Larry set you up with another girl?
Zack:No way.No more blind dates set up by you two.
Jack:Why?What was wrong with the last one?
Zack:You had me set up older woman.
Jack:What's wrong with going out with an older woman?
Zack:She had gray hair and was carrying her own oxygen tank.
Jack:Larry said that she was in her 40s.
Zack:Jack the last time that woman was 40,was probably in 1840.
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Old 03-01-2012, 01:10 AM   #355
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member
Jack:Zack you need to get out more and meet new women.How about me & Larry set you up with another girl?
Zack:No way.No more blind dates set up by you two.
Jack:Why?What was wrong with the last one?
Zack:You had me set up older woman.
Jack:What's wrong with going out with an older woman?
Zack:She had gray hair and was carrying her own oxygen tank.
Jack:Larry said that she was in her 40s.
Zack:Jack the last time that woman was 40,was probably in 1840.
If only Zack was an actual character in Three's Company!
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Old 03-05-2012, 01:42 PM   #356
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(Zack starts dating Cindy in the beginning of the 6th season but Jack isn't as happy about it as he seems to be)
Zack:Jack are you sure you're fine with me dating Cindy?
Jack:Yeah.Why would you think that I'm not?
Zack:Well last night,I heard you in your bedroom crying out our names in your sleep.
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:27 PM   #357
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member
(Zack starts dating Cindy in the beginning of the 6th season but Jack isn't as happy about it as he seems to be)
Zack:Jack are you sure you're fine with me dating Cindy?
Jack:Yeah.Why would you think that I'm not?
Zack:Well last night,I heard you in your bedroom crying out our names in your sleep.
I'm sure Jack really would cry out their names in his sleep!
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Old 03-20-2012, 04:40 PM   #358
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(Zack starts having feelings for Terri and gets jealous of guys that go out with her)
Zack: (sees Terri's date)Who are you?
Drew:I'm Drew Dumass and I'm going out with Terri tonight.
Zack:Well uh you're a lucky guy.
Drew:Thanks but I'm the "love'em & leave'em" type of guy.
Zack:Look dumbass!
Drew:That's DUMASS!
Zack:I know your name.That's just what describes you because if you do hurt Terri,I'll make you end up in a body cast.
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Old 03-21-2012, 09:28 AM   #359
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Terri:I don't know what should do with my boyfriend.He's been acting so strange lately.
Zack: Dump him.
Terri:What?
Zack:I said you two should work things out.What did you think I said?Gawd!(walks away)
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Old 03-24-2012, 06:09 PM   #360
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chain Gang Member
Terri:I don't know what should do with my boyfriend.He's been acting so strange lately.
Zack: Dump him.
Terri:What?
Zack:I said you two should work things out.What did you think I said?Gawd!(walks away)
Sounds like something Jack would say!
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