One Big Happy Family

[Chain Gang Member]

The Real World
(doorbell)
Greg:Hi Mr.Tripper,is Chris home?

Zack:He's upstairs

Greg:Thanks(goes upstairs)CHris

Chris: (coming out with no shirt on)What is it Greg?

Greg:What's going on in there?

Maria: (coming otu of Chris' room)Chris,what are you doing out here.Oh hi

Greg:Who's this?

CHris:This is Maria

Greg:You're cheating on Lilly with another hottie?

Maria:Thanks

Chris:No I'm not

Greg:Then where's Lilly?

Lilly: (coming out of CHris' room)Did somebody call me?

Greg:Two girls?

(downstairs)

(doorbell)

Terri:I'll get it.(opens the door)Hi Larry

Larry:Hi Terri.Is my son here?

Zack:Yeah,he's upstairs,why?

Larry:Katie just got off the phone with the principal and he said that Greg made a kid cry by "freestyling" on some kid

Janet:What'd he say?

Larry:He said something about that the kid's girlfriend's a cover up and people know he takes it in the bucket

Jack: that's halarious

Larry:

Jack:I mean that was a bad thing to do

Zack:Greg,your father's here!

Greg: (going downstairs)What's up dad?

Larry:You're in trouble

Greg:What did I do?

Larry:The principal said that you made a kid cry

Greg:Chris had a three way with two girls

Zack&Terri:WHAT?!

Zack:CHRIS,GET DOWN HERE!

Chris:What,dad?

Zack:You had a three way with two girls?

Chris:Yeah,so?

Zack:We didn't raise you to become some sex maniac

Terri:Yeah,we didn't raise you to be like Jack & LArry were

Both:Hey!

Janet:Well you know it's true

Jack:Well at least Jenny isn't a troublemaker

Janet:Yeah.Lets bring her down so people can look at a teenager who doesn't cause any trouble

Jack: Jenny(going upstairs and into her room seeing her getting a full body massage)Hey,what's going on?

Janet:How are you paying for this?

Jenny:Credit card

Jack:How are you gonna pay the money back?

Jenny:You two

Janet:So much for our perfect daughter

Jack:We're gonna have a serious talk about this

(later)

Zack:We're all here to talk about how we can get our kids to act more mature

Terri:Yeah.Nate,Haley,everyday our kids have been fooling around on eachother's beds like wild animals

Nate:I can't believe it

Haley:Lilly used to be so sweet and innocent.I don't know what went wrong

Jack:Jenny has been spending money on expensive things and think that we're always gonna pay for them

KAtie:Greg keeps on rapping on kids like they're at school just to be somebody's joke

Zack:What do you kids have to say for yourself

Greg:I don't really need school because with the career I'm gonna go into,I don't need to go to college

Larry:What's that?

Greg:I'm gonna become a wrestlers

Chris:Me too

Lilly:And I'm gonna become a diva

Zack:You think that being a wrestler is easy?

Chris:What's so hard about it?You learn a few moves and go into the ring to wrestle

Lilly:And all I gotta do is learn a few moves and look pretty

Zack:Is that so?

All:Yeah

Zack:Well for one week,you are gonna get a taste of what it's like to become a wrestler by getting trained by a few of my friends,and you're gonna see that it's not as easy as it is on TV

All:Yes(high five each other)

Jenny:Good luck

Jack: Don't think you're just gonna sit around here while they're out

Jenny:I'm not?

Janet:No.You're gonna be shown the value of a dollar

Terri:You all are gonna see what it's like in the real world

(End of Scene)

Jack:FIrst we want your cell phones,MP3s,IPODs,and all electronic devices

Zack:I want all of your condoms,Chris

Chris:What?

Zack:That also distracts you from stuff

Chris:Big deal.Lilly has other types of birth control

Zack:Nate,you and HAley take away her birth control pills,patches and anything else she has that they can use

NAte:Gotcha

Lilly: Dad

Nate:It's for your best

HAley:Your father's right

Jenny:OK.Where am I gonna work?

Jack:You know that Coney Island and you all like to eat at?

Jenny:Yeah

JAnet:You're gonna work there

(later)

Zack:CHris,Greg,Lilly,I want you all to meet RObert Howard a.k.a. Hardcore Holly,CHarlie Haas and Jackie Gayda-Haas

CHarlie:So you all wanna become wrestlers?

All:Yes

Hardcore:Big deal

JAckie:Lilly,being a diva is more than looking pretty?

Lilly:It is?

Jackie:You have to give the fans what they want and know how to use wrestling moves on yur opponents

Hardcore:You all are on your own and away from your family and friends most of the year

Charlie:Training while feeling beat up

Chris:Wow

(meanwhile)

Jack:Hi Evan

Evan:Hi Jack

Jack:Jenny,this is your boss,Evan Johnson.He maybe your friend,but when you're working,he's your boss.You'll do whatever he says for you to do

Jenny:OK

Evan:You can put on an apron and start serving food right now

JennySees all the people in the restaurant)Wow.I don't think the others are in a worse position

(In the training room,the guys are on the ground in hammerlocks)

Both:OW!

Hardcore:WE ARE NOT GONNA HAVE OUR CAREERS ENDED JUST BECAUSE SOME PUNKS CAN'T DO A SIMPLE HIP TOSS!

Charlie:THAT'S RIGHT!

Lilly:This harder than I thought

Jackie:Well it's not a walk in the park,I'll tell you that

(at the Coney Island)

Customer:Waitress,I asked for no onions!

Jenny:Can't you just pick them off?

Customer:The burger also well done.I ordered it medium rare and it's well done

Jenny:I'll tell the cook that you think he did a great job on your hamburger

Customer:I mean it.It's well done

Jenny:And I told you that I'll tell the cook.I don't have time for you to keep telling me how great your burger is

Customer:

(End of Scene)

Zack:So how was your first day in the real world

Chris:Tireing

Greg:Our backs hurt and I think I pulled a muscle

Lilly:I hurt my chest while trying to do a moonsault

Katie:Now do you know important an education is?

Greg:Yes

Larry:Now go do your homework

Greg:What?

Chris:We're to soar and tired from today

Zack:I did my college homework after a day of training

Chris:I really need to put off wanting to be a wrestler & goofing of and start consentrating on school

Terri:That's my son

Janet:And how was your day,sweety

Jenny:Also tireing.I kept on accidently writing down wrong orders,and there were customers repeatingly telling me to complement the cook on how "well done" their burgers were

Jack:That meant that they didn't want their burgers well done.Just medium rare

Jenny:OHHHHH!

Janet:Now you see how hard it is to make the money that you spend?

Jenny:Yes

Zack:Now why don't you all wash up,do your homework and go to bed

All:OK(they do so)

Larry:Wow Zack.How did you get these ideas

Zack:I watched Tough Enough years ago and watched Hogan Knows Best last week.Today,it's Tripper Knows Best

All:

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano


Guest Starring
Kaley Cuoco.............Maria Tyler

Bethany Joy Lenz.......Haley Taylor

James Lafferty...........Nathan Taylor

RObert Howard..........Hardcore Holly

Charlie Haas..............Himself

JAckie Gayda-Haas.....Herself

HArry Anderson..........Evan Johnson

Paul Johansson..................Customer

[Chain Gang Member]

Zack's Brother
Greg:Hi guys.Whatcha watching?

Chris:One Tree Hill

Greg:One Tree Hill?What's that about?

Jenny:It's about two brothers name Lucas & Nathan Scott played by Chad Michael Murray & James Lafferty who have the same father named Dan Scott but different mothers.

Chris:Lucas' mother is Karen Roe played play by Moira Kelly and Nathan's mom is Deb Scott played by Barbara Alyn Woods.Wow Lilly.Nathan & Haley look just like your parents

Lilly:No way.James Lafferty & Bethany Joy Galeotti are more hotter than my parents

Greg:Well you look just like that Veronica Mars chick on that other show

Chris:Are you kidding?Lilly is way prettier than Kristen Bell on Veronica Mars

Lilly:Thanks Chris(kisses him)

Jack:Hey kids,are you watching The O.C?

Janet:Jack,they're watching One Tree Hill

Jack:Oh yeah.O.C. is on another day

Janet:Chris,where are your parents?

Chris:They're upstairs.Mom,Dad,come down.One Tree Hill is on

(they come down.Zack is dressed up like John Cena and Terri is dressed up like Maria Kanellis)

Zack:Oh crap is it on tonight?

Terri:I wonder how everyone's doing now that Keith is gone?

Zack:Why did he have to die?

Terri:Yeah.That Dan is such a jerk

Zack:Yeah,but Paul Johanson is so good at it

Chris: Dad,why are you and mom dressed up like John Cena and Maria Kanellis coming from the bed....room.Eww

Zack:Took it better than when we came down during Veronica Mars dressed like Charlie Haas and Miss Jackie

Greg:Those two have the same father,but different mothers?

Zack:Yeah,but it'll never happen off TV

(doorbell)

Terri:I'll get it(opens it)Can I help you?

Mike:I'm looking for Zack Tripper

Terri:Zack,someone's here to see you

Zack:Who are you?

Mike:My name is Mike

Zack:So?

Mike:Mike Tripper.I'm your brother

Zack:

Terri: Don't worry.He always does that when he here's shocking news

(End of Scene)

(Zack still in shock)

Jack:Zack

Janet:Zack

Jenny:Mom?Dad?How come Zack isn't moving?

Jack:He's just shocked

Terri:I know how to get back to normal.I'll sing the song he listened to while I was finding out if I was pregnant.(singing)Your boy's a bad man, and we invadin the streets
Make unclever rappers scurred, they be droppin the heat
Shocked the world, now I'm standin alone
I flip fools like them clamshell cellular phones
You can't help but nod your head to the track
forget the watered down rap, we be takin it back
Give it to me straight - ain't no chasin it
Check yourself in the mirror - ain't no facin it
Cause you, playin the role and you plannin to fold
This the masterplan, we got the planet on hold
We all over the streets like your favorite sneaker
Breakin up your sound like a drive-through speaker
Everything that I be spittin is strong
After I rock, fast forward through the rest of the song
We the monkeywrench, that's gonna ruin your plan

Zack: (wakes up)And don't mess with John Cena - I'm a BAD, BAD MAN

Mike:Hi Zack

Zack:Who are you?

Mike:I'm Mike Tripper.Your brother

Zack: Oh I get it.This is one of Larry's gags.He knows one of my favorite shows is One Tree Hill so he paid you to say you're my brother

Mike:Who's Larry?Zack,I'm really your brother.See(holds him a picture)here's my mom with your or should I say "our" dad

Zack: Holy crap!Where'd they meet?Sea World.She looks like Shamu

Mike:Hey,that's my mother you're talking about pissed:

Zack:I'm sorry

Mike:It's ok

Zack:She looks more like Ms.Chokesondick from South PArk

Terri:That's no way to talk to your brother

Zack:HE'S NOT MY BROTHER!

Mike:Actually I'm your half-brother

Zack:I'm out of here!I'm goign to Larry & Kate's(slams the door)

Terri:I've never seen my husband act like this before

Mike:Well sometimes people act like that when they here suprising news

(At the Dallases)

LArry:Zack,what's wrong?

Zack:Some dude came to my house saying he's my brother

Kate:What's wrong with that?

Zack:How can that be possible?I know my dad would've never cheated on my mom

LArry:Maybe he did but didn't wanna tell anybody because that would split up the family

(doorbell)

KAte:Hi Terri

Terri:Kate,is Zack here?

Zack:Hi Terri.I'm sorry about what happened,but you can't blame me

Terri:True,but you have to realize that you have a half-brother

Zack:How can that be?My dad never cheated on my mom

Terri:Zack,he did.Mike told me everything

Zack:

Terri:It's ok honey.Zack,you gotta admit.He's kinda like you

Zack:How?

Terri:He's nice and handsome.Plus look at the facts.You used to be a wrestler until you injured your back,he used to be a boxer until he injured his chest

Zack:I guess

Terri:Now lets go back

Zack:Is he cuter than me?

Terri:No

(End of Scene)

Zack:Hey Mike

Mike:So you finally accept that I'm your brother

Zack:Yeah

Mike:That's good

Zack:You can come back and visit anytime you'd like

Mike:I will.Before I leave,I want you to meet my wife and kids(they come in).I would like you all to meet my wife,Kerri

Kerri:Hi

Mike:and my daughter,Kristen

Kristen:Hi

All:

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring

Steve Howie..............Mike Tripper

Joanna Garcia............Kerri Tripper

Angela Watson...........Christina Tripper

Please Reply

[Chain Gang Member]

The Haases Anniversary
(doorbell)
Jackie:Hi

Janet:Can I help you?

Jackie:Are Zack & Terri home?

Janet:Sure.Zack,Terri,you have a visiter!

Zack:Who is it?Jackie(hugs her)it's so great to see you

Terri:Yeah,we haven't seen you since our wedding

Zack:Where's Charlie?

Jackie:He'll be here any minute.Where are your kids

Terri:Well Chris along with Jenny & Greg are at Zack's brother

Zack:Yeah,they're with the bastard

Jack:Zack!

Zack:Well his parents weren't married when he was born

Jack:Well that's true

Zack: (singing)Bastard bastard,bastard bastard

All:Zack!

Zack:OK,I'm done

Terri:So Jackie,what brings you here?

Jackie:Well I know you all have had children,and I was hoping you could help me

Janet:What are you talking about?

Jackie:Well I'm pregnant

All:

Zack: Does Charlie know?

Jackie:No.I was saving it as a suprise for our anniversary tomorrow

(Larry & Kate come in)

Kate:I can't believe you did that!

Larry:It was harmless

Kate:Harmless?You hit on another woman right in front of me

Larry:It was a force of habit from back in the day when I was a bachelor,but I will never-(notices Jackie)well hello there,and who is this beautiful woman?

Terri:LArry,I wouldn't flirt with her if I were you

Larry:Of course.You're a woman.Even though that would be great to see

Terri:What I meant was that you're married to Kate now

Zack:Not only that,but she's also married,her husband's a wrestler,and she's pregnant

Larry: (Point at Jackie while looking back at Kate)I've never seen that girl in my life!

Jack:Yes you have,Larry.You saw her at Zack & Terri's wedding,but don't worry,she's pregnant with her husband's child

LArry:Um I knew that

(doorbell)

Zack:CHarlie,how's it going?

Charlie:Great.Is JAckie here?

Zack:Yeah,she's in the living room with us

Jackie:Charlie!

Charlie:Jackie!(they kiss)I missed you

JAckie:I missed you more

Jack:Jackie,don't you have something to tell Charlie?

Janet:Jack!

Charlie:What's he talking about,Jackie?

JAckie: (looking back at Jack)Thanks a lot Jack.Well I was gonna save this as a suprise for our anniversary tomorrow,but I got something to tell you

Charlie:What,Jackie?

Jackie:Charlie,I'm pregnant.We're gonna have a baby!

CHarlie:

(End of Scene)

(they're trying to get CHarlie to wake up)

Charlie:What happened?

Zack:You fainted after you found out Jackie's pregnant

Charlie:What?!I can't be a father now!I just got back into the WWE!

(Jackie runs upstairs crying)

Zack:COme with me,Charlie!(drags him into the kitchen)Why did you just yell at JAckie!

Charlie:Zack,how can I be having a baby?

Zack: Well don't worry about that.Jackie will carry it for you

Charlie:That's not what I meant.I meant that I already got back into the WWE.How's this gonna effect my career?

Zack: Don't you think that Jackie is worried about her career in TNA.I don't think that they're gonna have her be seen on TV puffed up like a baloon?They're probably gonna release her when her contract runs out

Charlie:You're right.I better go apologize

Zack:By the Charlie,there's nothing more and wonderful than having a baby

Charlie:Thanks,Zack

(Charlie knocks on the door and comes in)

Charlie:Hi

Jackie:Hi

Charlie:Jackie,I wanna apologize.I didn't mean to freak out

Jackie:Then why did you?

CHarlie:I guess I was just suprised when you told me that we're gonna have a baby.I'm sorry

Jackie:It's OK(they kiss)

Terri:Zack,they've been in there for a long time

Zack:We better go and see if everything's OK(they go in and see Charlie and Jackie making love)

Both:

Jackie:Oh CHarlie,do you still think making love to me is like making it with a cold wet fish?

Charlie:No,you are a totally like fireworks on the fourth of July

(they close the door)

Zack:Wow

Terri:You can say that again

(End of Scene)

All:Happy Anniversary Charlie & Jackie

Charlie:Zack,we're sorry for doing it on your bed last night

Jackie:Yeah.We just got caught up in the moment

Zack:It's alright

Terri:Yeah.The bed's mostly moving all the time anyway

Charlie:Well see ya

Jackie:Bye(they leave)

All:Bye

END



Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring

Charlie Haas...............Himself

Jackie Gayda-Haas......Herself

[Chain Gang Member]

Trish Returns
(doorbell)
Trish:Hi Zack

Zack:Trish,what are you doing here?pissed:

Trish I just wanted to come over and

Zack:Trish,there is no way of us getting back together matter how cute we were together.I'm married to Terri now and we are even a cuter couple

Trish:That's nice to hear but

Zack:Terri and I even have a son so forget it

Trish:That's great Zack but

Zack:Trish

Trish:WILL YOU LET ME FINISH!

Zack:Sorry.What were you gonna say?

Trish:I was gonna say that I'm inviting you all to my wedding tomorrow

Zack:You're getting married?Aww congratulations

Trish: Thanks Zack

Jack:Zack,what is going on?

Zack:Jack,you remember Trish

Jack:Hey aren't you the one who almost split Zack & Terri up?

Trish:Yeah

Jack:Well you can't have him.They are married

Zack:Jack,she knows that

Jack:Oh

Trish:Can I hang out here for a while?My fiance' is having a party with all of his guy friends

Zack:OK.As long as you don't cause any kind of trouble because Terri will be home soon.She's out shopping.One wrong thing and you have to go.OK?

Trish:OK

Jack:I'll be in the kitchen trying to think of a dessert to make for a snack

Trish:I'll help

Jack:OK

(End of Scene)

(Janet comes in)

Janet:Hi Zack

Zack:Hi Janet

Janet:Where's Jack?

Zack:He's in the kitchen.Can smell what Jack is cookin?

Janet I better go in to let him know that I'm home

(In the kitchen)

Trish:Put whipped cream on it and you got Trish's International Dessert

Jack:Wow.Where did you learn how to make this?

Trish:I got it from this one guy.I told him that I'm a 6 now 7 time Women's Champion and if he didn't give me the recipe,I'd hurt him

Jack:

(Janet comes in)

Janet: Jack!What are you and this this

Trish:Trish

Janet:Whatever.What you two doing?

Jack:Cooking

Janet:I don't believe it!

Jack:No,we made this dessert.See(shows her)

Janet:Oh

Jack:What did you think we were doing?

Janet:Well um..I better go watch TV(leaves)

Trish:I'm a mess.I better go take a shower.(goes into the living room)Zack,can I go take a shower?

Zack:Sure

Trish:I'm glad I'm taking it here

Zack:Why?

Trish:Well yesterday,my fiance's friends were over while I was showering,and one of his friends came in and took a picture of me

Zack:Wow

Trish:Well I better go up(goes upstairs to go take a shower)

(later)

Terri:Hi Zack

Zack:Hi Terri.Are you all back from shopping?

Chris:Yeah dad

Greg:Chris forgot something upstairs in your room that I borrowed from you.Can you go help me get it?

Chris:Sure

(Meanwhile Trish is showering)

Trish: (singing)I just want you, there's no denying
I just want you, there's no hiding,
I just want you Do you want me?
(turns off the shower)

Chris:We better wash up

Greg:Yeah(they walk in as Trish is drying off)

Trish:Ahhh!

Chris:Wow Trish

Greg:Nice boobs

Trish:GET OUT!

Both:Alright!(go out)

(End of Scene)

Terri:So did anything happen while we were gone?

Zack:Not really

Chris: (coming downstairs with Greg)Mom,Dad.You'll never guess what we saw

Zack:Oh no

Terri:What?

Trish: (Coming downstairs)Zack,these two boys walked in on me while I was drying off!

Terri:Trish Stratus?

Chris&Greg: Yeah

Terri:What is she doing here,Zack?Are you cheating on me?

Zack:NO!Terri,I would never do that!

Terri:Then why was she in our house taking a shower?What's next?Mickie James showering at the Dallases?

Greg:Um I think I better be going home(tip toes out the door then runs to his house)

Zack:Trish was showering because she just got done from making a dessert with Jack

Jack:It's true

Terri:Wel what was she doing here in the first place?

Trish:I came over here to invite you all to my wedding tomorrow

Terri:Yeah right You're just making it up to get closer to my husband

(doorbell)

Zack:Who are you?

Ron:Is Trish here?

Terri:Who are you?

Trish:Everybody I would like you to meet Ron,my fiance'

Ron:Nice to meet you all

Terri:Trish,I'm sorry.I actually thought that you were trying to steal my husband

Trish:It's ok.See you all tomorrow

(End of Scene)

Zack:Wasn't that a beautiful wedding?

Terri:Yeah.

Jenny:Greg,I am really mad at you

Lilly:And I'm mad at you Chris

Both:Why?

Lilly:The way you were dancing with Trish

Jenny:And the way you were dancing with Ashley Massaro.You both were having your hands below their waists

Chris:What about you two

Both:What about us?

Greg:You two did the same thing with Matt HArdy and Edge

Larry:Let's all go home

Jack:And everybody get to their homes and go to bed

All:Alright(they do)

Zack:Hey Terri.Wanna do what we did after our wedding?

Terri:Go to the hospital?

Zack:No

Terri:You bet

(Zack picks her up and they head upstairs to the bedroom)

END


COngratulations Trish


Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring
Trish Stratus...............Herself
Ron(I don't know his last name)..........Himself

[Chain Gang Member]

Chris & Kevin Go To McDOnald's
(The gang are all at lunch)
Jenny:Chris,what's wrong?

Greg:Yeah.You seem a little tense

Chris:Well it was because last night when I went out with Kevin to this party and on the way back,we hit this homeless man

Lilly:Chris,you didn't!

Chris:No,I didn't.Kevin was driving and now there's a reporter coming to interview me and I think I have to tell the truth

Jenny:Chris,there are gonna be alot of people mad at you

Greg:Yeah.This guy is concidered to be the next Kurt Angle

Chris:I gotta do the right thing

(The next day)

Terri:Chris!Do you know what we just read in the newspaper?

Chris:Mom,I had to do the the right thing

Zack:The right thing?It says here that you were the one driving when the homeless man was hit

Chris:

(End of Scene)

Lilly:So that's what happens when you do the right thing

Jenny:This makes me so mad(goes to crumble up the newspaper)

Greg:Whoa whoa whoa.That's our newspaper.I don't want my parents to turn on Chris too

Lilly:It's all Kevin's fault

Chris:No.Kevin's cool

Jenny:Cool?He got you framed

Chris:No.He's got this rich uncle.Uncle Russel Rucker always paying them off.

Greg:How rich is he?

Chris:He's got millions.They're either scared of him or they can't say no to money.All I gotta do is get Kevin alone

Lilly:Look.It says that he's going to this club tonight

Jenny:We'd love to help you Chris but Greg & I have a date tonight

CHris:That's cool.Lilly & I can handle it

(later)

(Lilly is in the limo that Kevin is taking)

Kevin: (coming out with ladies)Easy ladies.I got an interview tonight at this frat club

Lilly: (on her cell phone)OK Chris.We're on our way

(They're going until a red light come out and RUssel comes in takes the ladies out and gets in the limo)

Kevin:Uncle Russel,what are you doing?

Russel:Making sure that nobody gets in the way of you becoming a star.I'm not saying that you can't have fun.Just don't let some hoochie get in the way of your fame.Think with your head,not this(punches him in the crotch)

Kevin:Ow

Russel:Lets go

(They start driving)

Lilly: (Dialing his number but gets his voice mail)Chris,change of plans

(They end up in a garage)

Lilly: Driver,pull up here

Driver:But nobody can open their doors

Lilly:That's OK for now

CHris: (knocks on the window)Kevin

(The windows rolls down)

Russel:No.Now you better get out of here before you get into anymore trouble.I've got that reporter on speed dial and you know what happens when you open your mouth so keep it shut

(Drives off)

Chris:Got anymore plans

Lilly:How about a burger at the drivethru

Chris:Oh man.The drivethru

Lilly:Yeah.You know,that way where you get your food without leaving your car

Chris:I mean that before the accident,we went to McDonald's

Lilly:He saw Kevin at the wheel

Chris:He even got his autograph

Lilly:I'll notify my dad and he'll find out

Chris:Thanks(goes to the car)

Lilly:What about my burger?

Chris:Rain check

(End of Scene)

Zack:Hey Chris

Chris:What?

Zack:Lilly's father is on the phone

Terri:What would he want?

Zack:SOmething about a guy at McDOnald's

Chris: (gets the phone)Hey Mr.Taylor.Did get info on the guy.Uh huh?Thanks.Gotta go(leaves)

Jack:Whoa

Janet:Zack,Terri.Your son was running so fast out of here,that almost hit us

Jack:Where was he going in such a hurry

Zack:McDonald's I guess

(At school)

Lilly: Did you find him

Chris:Brad

Lilly:Huh?

Chris:Brad Thomas.That's his name.He worked at McDonald's for a year

Lilly:That's great!

Chris:No it isn't

Lilly:Why?

Chris:Brad hasn't come into work in 3 days.The tape is gone and Brad is gone.Uncle Rucker strikes again

Lilly:I got some good news

Chris:What?

Lilly:I found out that he's going to frat club tonight

Chris:Let's go there tonight

(later that night)

Lilly:Let's go in

Chris:No,you stay out here.This is between me & Kevin.I'll call you if I need you

Lilly:Gotcha

(Inside)

Kevin:Hey Chris

Chris:Kevin,I need to talk to you

Kevin:Listen.If it's about what happened that one night,you know it was an accident

Chris:That's right but why is it that I'm the one getting blamed?We are friends,right?

Kevin:Yeah but I can't take the blame.If I do,I won't get all of those commercials and trainers

Chris:Kevin

Kevin:You know what?If this is the way you wanna act,get out of my sight!(gets next to Christy)

Chris:Christy?

Christy:Oh hey Chris

Chris:WHat are you doing here?

Christy:What does it look like?

Chris:We gotta get out of here

Christy:You're not the boss of me.I'm not your girlfriend anymore and you never call me or anything

Kevin:Is he bothering you?

CHristy:Yes

Kevin:Guys,we've got a crasher in here

CHris: (Getting dragged out)You can't do this to me!You're gonna pay,Kevin!

Christy:This is getting boring.Why don't we get out of here and have some fun

Kevin:My uncle says I should stay here

Christy:Oh so your uncle is the boss of you.I thought you're a real man who takes charge

Kevin:You know what?Lets go

(Lilly sees Christy leaving with Kevin)

Russel:Where's my boy?

CHris:Out with my ex

Russel:Where did she take him

Chris:This may be fun.I know where she likes to hang out

(Russel gets dropped off at a club)

Carl:Objects in the pan

(Russel give him the phone and switches the phone with another phone and gives him that one)

Carl:Have a good time

(Russel goes in)

(Lilly comes out from hiding and gets the phone)

Lilly:Thanks Carl

Carl:No Problem.Are you sure you can't stay?

Lilly:Nope.Gotta get ready for school tomorrow

Carl:OK

(Next day at school)

Lilly:Hey Chris.Why don't ya order some pizza(gives him Russel's phone)

Chris:Is that?

Lilly:Uncle Russel's phone with all of his information in it?Yes.Now all you have to do is send my dad all the numbers.One's gotta have information on where Brad is

Chris:Why didn't you do it yourself?

Lilly:I wanted you to do the honors

Chris:Up high Lilly Taylor(they high five)

Christy:Hey.Don't I get some?(they high five her).Did I do a good job?

Lilly:I heard that you were a totally ice biotch

Christy:Well if you ever need me again,call me

Chris:Will do

(At a hotel room)

Brad: (jumping to John Cena's "Make it Loud)It's the joint baby, gotta make it loud.Get the point yo you gota make it loud
Everybody in the club make it loud
SO LET ME HEAR SOME NOISE FROM THE CROWD!Come on ladies.Buck up.If you want more champagne,cake,chicken finger,it's all on me because you are very special ladies and I'm on someone else's tab

(knock knock)

Brad:See.I think it and it happens(grabs money out of the bag)Good evening kind sir

Nathan: (coming in flashing his badge)Brad Thomas?

Brad:Uh huh

Nathan:I need to ask you some questions

Brad:

Nathan: (grabs the money)Oh is this the money you got from Russel Rucker?

Brad:

Nathan: Did you take it in exchange for your silence as a witness?

Brad:

Nathan: Do you remember Kevin Rucker at the wheel of a 2006 blue jaguar on December 29th

Brad:

(Next day)

LArry:Chris,I always knew you were innocent

Kate:I read it in the newspaper and felt bad when I found out that the last article was a lie

Chris:It's alright.It's all thanks to my girl.Lilly Taylor who is a regular Veronica Mars

Lilly:Thanks Chris(kisses him)

Chris:I also gotta thank you,Mr.Taylor

Nate:No problem.

Zack:Now lets get to our seats

Terri:Yeah

(The parents go in as the the phone rings)

Chris:Hey there Russel.I don't know how I got this phone.I felt like it was just handed to me.Sorry about your money troubles.Here's some advice.Keep it shut Uncle Rucker because you know what happens when you open it.Now if you'll excuse me,I got a match to win.Sucka(hangs up)

Lilly:That definently made you feel good

Chris:Totally did

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring
Allison Munn................Christy Taylor

James Lafferty.............Nathan Taylor

Ryan Hansen................Kevin Rucker

Paul Johanson...............Russel Rucker

Cress Williams...............Carl

Tyler Hilton..................Brad Thomas

MAke It Loud-John Cena & Tha Trademarc

(Please reply if you read this)

[PlayOn]

very good. i liked how you added OTH actors in the mix. can't wait for the next installment.

[Chain Gang Member]

Don't Look At Me That Way
CHris:What a Wrestlemania

Lilly:Yeah.Lets do some wrestling moves ourselves

Chris:Alright!

(They start making out until Lilly finds a PLAYBOY underneath his bed)

Lilly:What is this?Is this a PLAYBOY?!

Chris:Yeah.It's the one with Ashley Massaro on it?

Lilly:I don't care if it was Trish Stratus who posed

Chris:Um she always said that she some time in the past that she wasn't going to pose nude

Lilly: Does it look like I care?

Chris:No.Why are you looking at me that way?

Lilly:You should know(leaves mad)

CHris:

(later)

Zack:Hey Chris,what's wrong?

Chris:Lilly's mad at me,dad.Then she gave me this weird look as she walk out of my room and told me I should know why she was looking at me that way

Zack:Oh no

Chris:WHy are you saying "oh no"?

Zack:Chris,you just got "the look"

Chris:What's "the look"?

(Jack and Larry walk in)

Jack:Hey Zack,what's new?

Zack:Lilly gave Chris "the look"

Both:Oh no

Chris:WHat is so bad?

Jack:CHris,the look is a woman's secret weapon to destroy a man

Larry:Yeah

Zack:I got the look from Terri years ago when she found out that I slept with Trish Stratus a year before I met her

Chris:Alright dad!

Zack:I didn't feel that way when I saw your mother look at me as she walked upstairs

Larry:I got "the look" from Kate once when I didn't feel like watching Greg when he was a baby.

Chris:What is this "look"

Zack:First she goes like this

Chris:That's what she gave me

Jack:You're lucky because then she'd go like this

Larry:Then if that doesn't work,she goes like this

Chris:Whoa am I lucky

(Terri,Janet and Kate come in)

Terri:Hey guys

Zack:Nothing,honey.How was your day?

Terri:Good.We were next door and we were thinking about going to the spa but we don't have any money.Can we have some?

Zack:I don't think you need it

Janet:But we just wanna do get out and do something that will relax us

Jack:No

Kate:Please Larry

Larry:I don't think so

Zack:Uh oh,here it comes.Good thing I prepared for this(puts on sunglasses he got from The Rock)Turn around Chris(turns him around)

Terri:

Janet:

Kate:

Jack:I got some money upstairs(goes upstairs)

Larry:I'll get some money out of the bank(goes out to the bank)

Terri:Well 2/3 ain't bad

(End of Scene)

Chris:Woah.I never knew it could be that powerful

Zack:Yeah.This is how guys like The Rock and Johnny Nitro keep themselves from getting "the look" used on them

Chris:Cool

Zack:BTW why did Lilly look at you the way she did in the first place

Chris:Well we were making out until she found the PLAYBOY with Ashley Massaro on it

Zack:Really?Is that all?She should know that teenage boys look have at least one of those magazines.That is the only one,right?

Chris:Well that one and the one with Torrie Wilson in it

Zack:Well that's alright.It's not like you got a bunch of them and they fell on her

CHris:I gotta go tell her that(leaves)

Zack:I should be a professional at giving advice

(later at the Dallases)

Lilly:I can't believe he has those types of magazines

Greg:Oh come on,Lilly.You found one PLAYBOY

Jenny:Actually,I have to agee with my boyfriend on this one.It's not like he has a tower of them in his closet

Eddie:Yeah.Plus if he was with Ashley Massaro,he would be locked in the bathroom looking at naked pictures of you.Wait,are there naked pictures of you?

(Lilly attacks Eddie and starts punching him)

Greg:Hit in the groin

(she does)

Eddie:Ow!

Greg:She did!

(End of Scene)

Lilly:Chris,I wanna apologize.I'm sorry I acted the way I did

Chris:Um I accept

Lilly:No really.I should know that even you have magazines like that.Plus,you're a fan of her's.I'm sorry

Chris:It's OK

Lilly:Now lets makeup

(they do as the scene ends)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring
Martin Spanjer........Eddie White

[Chain Gang Member]

On hiatus.You can enjoy the rest of the episodes untiul another episode is posted especially the one that's a tribute to Eddie Guerrero which is my favorite one so far

[sunshinefizzy]

Your stories are very entertaining, I'm happy your still writing.

[Chain Gang Member]

The Job
Jenny:Hey Greg,are you busy today?

Greg:Actually,yes.I'm starting my new job today.

Jenny:What's wrong with your old job?

Greg:It's just that I saw your pay check the other day and you make double the money I make.I'm not going to become the next Kevin Dorkaline who mooches off of his woman.

Jenny:Why?Just because when we go out to dinner,I mostly pay for the bill?

Greg:Well sort of.ANyway,I'll see you later(kisses her and leaves)

(later)

Larry:Thanks Jacko for cooking dinner for us.Kate is really tired from work.

Jack:No problem.Where's the bathroom because I have to wash my hands.

Larry:It's upstairs and to the right but don't wake up Kate.

Jack:OK

(Jack comes out after washing his hands and over hears Kate talking in her sleep)

Kate:Oh yes,oh yes.Give it to me,give it to me,Jack!

Jack:

Kate:Oh Jack,you naughty boy.

Jack:

(later)

Chris:So Greg is taking another job just because you're making more money than him?

Jenny:Yeah.

Lilly:That's so egotisical of men.WHy do they have worry about their women making more money than them(they look over at Chris)

Chris:Why are you two looking at me?Greg's the one who you should be mad at.

Jenny:You're right.I can't believe he took just because "he doesn't wanna become the next Kevin Dorkaline."

Chris:Kevin Dorkaline.That's a good one .

Lilly: Anyway,you don't have to worry about that.

Jenny:I don't?

Lilly:No.There's no way that you're going to shave your head and become a drug addict.

(End of Scene)

Kate:Jack,I just wanna thank you for cooking us dinner.

Jack:You're welcome.

Kate:On the other hand,it was a little too spicy and over done.

Jack:Oh.By the doing that,would you say I was being a naughty boy?

Kate: Oh my God,you know!

Jack:Know what?That you have the hots for your husband's best friend?

Kate:Oh God!Oh God!

Jack: Don't you mean "oh Jack!Oh Jack!"?

Kate:Listen,you gotta keep this between us.

Jack:Oh fine.It'll be our secret.

Kate:Thanks.

Jack:No problem(about to leave but purposly drops his keys)Oops,I dropped my keys.I better pick them up(bends over to pick them up and Kate throws a pillow at him.)

(later)

Greg:Hey Jenny (hugs and kisses her).I thought you were mad at me.

Jenny:Well I thought that it was stupid of me to act like I did.

Allison:Hey Greg,you've gotta customer in videos.Oh who's this?

Greg:Allison,this my girlfriend,Jenny Tripper.Jenny,this is my boss,Allison Williams.Well I've gotta go help that customer.(leaves)

Jenny:Well hiring Greg was a good decision.Pretty & smart.

Allison:Listen,you.I better not see you in this store again or Greg is fired.

Jenny:What if I want Season 4 of One Tree Hill?

Allison:Then have it delivered to your house.

Jenny:You're acting like you are trying to steal my boyfriend.

Allison:Wow,pretty & smart.

(End of Scene)

Zack:Kate,you look terrible.

Terri:Zack's right.

Janet:What's going on?

Kate:It's just that I haven't been able to sleep for a couple of days.

Zack:Why?

Kate:I have been having this dream for a couple of days.

Janet:What about?

Kate:You don't wanna know.

Terri:Maybe some tea will help you out

(They go to get some tea for her as she falls asleep)

Kate:Oh

(They come back out as she starts talking in her sleep)

Janet:Maybe we should wake her up.

Kate:Oh God.

Zack:No.Lets just see where this is going.

Terri:I guess you're right because then if we find out what she's dreaming about,we could help her out.

Zack:That's the idea.

Janet:Good idea.

Zack:Thanks.

Kate:Give it to me.Give it to me Jack!

All:Ahhhh!

Kate:What?What?

Janet:You were dreaming about Jack.

Kate:I'm sorry,Janet.Please don't hate me.

Janet:I don't.

Kate:Good but nobody in this room better not tell Larry that I had a sex dream about Jack.

(Larry walks in)

Larry:You're what?

Zack&Terri:Too late.

(later)

Jenny:And then she said "wow,pretty & smart."

Lilly:That bitch!

(Greg walks in)

Greg:Look at this.My first pay check.(silence)What's everybody doing?

Chris:Greg,Jenny has something to tell you.

Greg:What?

Jenny:Greg,after you went to help the customer,your boss threatened me by saying that if I come to the store again,she was going to fire you.Then after I accused her of trying to steal you and she said "wow,pretty & smart."

Greg:Well I can't believe what I'm hearing.You're so jealous of me getting a better job that you make up a lie like that.

Jenny:What?!

Lilly:Lets just play this new board game

(they do and Greg goes too many spaces)

Jenny:You went too many spaces.

Greg:No I didn't

Jenny:Wow.You not believing me of something that actually happened.Do you know what I call that?

Chris: Deja vu?

Jenny:No.Deja Allison!

Greg:I gotta go(leaves as Jenny goes after him)

Chris:Wow.Another fight because of Monopoly.How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?

Jenny:Greg,wait.

Greg:What Jenny?I'm late for work.

Jenny:This won't take long.Listen,I'm not just mad because you don't believe me even though it did happen.I'm mad because this happened because I'm ready.

Greg:You're ready? You mean?

Jenny: Yes but I have to say something else.Even though I am ready,you still don't believe that she's really trying to steal you.So until you believe me,I don't wanna see you(goes back to the house).

(End of Scene)

(at the Dallases)

Larry:Oh so you're dreaming about Jack.You want Jack?OK(starts imitating Jack)Look at me,I'm Jack.Mercy!Lordy Lordy Lordy!Talk to me mama!(trips over a chair).

Kate:I'm scared.That was really good.

Larry:OK,there's gotta be a reasonable explaination why you're having these dreams.What do you believe are Jack's good qualities

Kate:Well he's good looking,he's a great dad and he's one heck of a cook.

Larry:Have you ever told him that?

Kate:No

Larry:Well I believe you should and the dreams are probably telling you to.

(the next morning)

Jack:Hello,Kate.Having any certain dreams last night?

Kate:Jack,I just have to tell you something.

Jack:What is it?

Kate:The reason I've been having those dreams is because I haven't been honest with you.Everytime I've been telling you there's something wrong with your food,I've been lying.You are a great cook.Even better than me.

Jack:Thanks Kate.

Kate:You're welcome

(later)

Allison:Greg,what's wrong?

Greg:Jenny & I had this fight.Then she told me she didn't wanna see me for a while.

Allison:Well let me make you feel better (tries to kiss him)

Greg:Whoah,Whoah!What do you think you're doing?

Allsion:I want you Greg.I've been wanting you since the first time I saw you.

Greg:Oh my God.Jenny was right.

Allison:Of course she was.I've been giving you many signals.Why did you think I gave you that promotion to being Sales Manager when you've only been at Best Buy for a week?

Greg:I quit!If this is the way you're going to treat me,I don't wanna work here anymore

Allison:This is making mad and it would make me more mad if you made out with me right now!

Greg:What?!

Allsion:It was worth a try

(Greg leaves)

(later at the Dallases)

Janet:Jenny,you haven't touched your food.

Jenny:I've lost my appetite because me & Greg had a fight.I'm just gonna go home(leaves)

Chris:Very strange girl

(at home,Jenny hears a knock at the door)

Jenny:I'm coming.(opens it)Greg?

Greg:I realized you were right and I'm sorry that I didn't believe you(she kisses him)

Jenny:It's ok

Greg:Are you sure you wanna do this?

Jenny:Yes.No regrets(they passionatly kiss as she closes the door)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring

Amanda Seyfried.........Allison Williams
dedicated to Nick Zano & Amanda Bynes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RI_4NlFzGQ

[Chain Gang Member]

A Friend In Need
(Luke comes in)
Chris:Hey Luke

Luke:Hey guys

Jennie:What's wrong?

Luke:Almost Valentine's Day and no girlfriend for Luke.What does Luke have to do to get a girlfriend?

Greg:Well first of all you have to stop talking in a 3rd person.You are Luke!

Luke:OK I'll stop

Jennie:That's better

Lilly:If it's that important,I'll set you up with a friend of mine

Luke:OK but as long as they don't look like they wear a flea collar and bites the mail man

Lilly: Don't worry,Luke.I've got this friend who is pretty,sweet,smart and has a good heart

Eddie:It's true.I met Ashley here because of her and we had a great time

Ashley:That's right (they kiss)

Chris:That's my girl.Beautiful on the outside and inside

Lilly:Aww(kisses him and leaves)

Luke:Oh no

Greg:What's the problem?

Luke:What is I mess up?

Chris: Don't worry.We'll make sure you will be ready for your date

(End of scene)

Zack:Hey Chris

Terri:What are you all doing?

Chris:We're helping Luke get ready for his date

Luke:I'm really nervous

Terri: (puts her arm on his shoulder)Well as long as you be yourself and treat her right,you have nothing to worry about

Luke:Mrs.Tripper,are you trying to seduce me?

(Zack takes him by the back of his shirt and throws him out of the house http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvJeATp31dw )

Janet:What was that all about?

Terri:Zack threw out one of Chris and Jennie's friends because he hit on me

Jack:It's just like you to do do something like that

Zack:Hey,Terri was the one threw out Trish years ago

Jack:Oh yeah.That's right

Jennie:Maybe we should go over to Greg's house and try to help you there

Chris:Just try not to hit on his mom

(at Greg's house)

Larry:What are you kids up to?

Chris:Well we're helping out Luke so he'll be ready for his date tonight

Kate:Just tell the truth to her

Larry:I tried hundreds of times to get into a relationship by saying I'm a doctor,photographer,athlete and others but never kept the women I dated

Luke:Thanks

(Later)

Luke: Alright.Where is my date?

Lilly:Here she is

Amanda:Hi Luke.I'm Amanda

Luke: Wow

Chris:I think he likes her

Amanda:Are you ready

Luke:Uh uh uh huh

Greg:Remember to be yourself

Jennie:And treat her with respect

Luke:Got it

Chris:Please let this work out

(End of Scene)

(At Luke's house)

Luke:Hi guys

Lilly:How did everything go?

(Amanda comes out wearing nothing but a shirt)

Amanda:Hey guys.Lilly,I wanna thank you for fixing me up with Luke

Lilly:No problem

Luke:See ya guys later(closes the door)

Chris:I think it went well

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring

Martin Spanjer............Eddie White

Julie Gonzalo...............Ashley Simmons

Matt Dallas.................Luke Johnson

Kirsten Prout...............Amanda Brooks

[Chain Gang Member]

The Father Should Know
Jenny:Hey Dad.What are you doing on the roof?

Jack:Your mom asked me to put up these Easter decorations for her.

Jenny:Well we're off.

Jack:Where are you going?

Greg:We're just going for a drive.

Jack:Ok but be back in a couple hours.

Jenny:We will(they drive off).

(Larry comes by)

Larry:Hey Jacko.Whatcha doing?

Jack:Hey Larry.Just putting some Easter decorations up?

Larry:Why?It's not even April?

Jack:Janet likes them up early and Easter's just almost a week away.

Larry:I see our kids left.I guess they can't sop.

Jack:Stop what?

Larry:Well once teenagers have part A connect with part B,that's all they want to do.

Jack:What?They're just going for a drive.

Larry:Well then when we were out with women all the time,we used to "go for a drive" with them everyday .

Jack:They're having sex?

Larry:Oops.I thought you knew

Jack:What?Um of course I knew.It's alright.

Larry:Well I'll see ya later(goes to his house).

Jack: Son of a(starts hitting the Easter Bunny decoration with a hammer)

(later)

Jack:Janet!

(Janet,Zack & Terri come)

Janet:What is it?

Jack:I have some bad news.

Janet: (sees the broken Easter Bunny in his hands) You killed the Easter Bunny.

JAck:No

Zack:Well it looks like you did.

Terri:Yeah Jack.You have the evidence right in your hand.

Jack:Yes but that's not what I'm talking about.

Janet:Well what is it?

(Chris & Lilly come downstairs)

Chris:Jack,why were you yelling?

Lilly:Oh no.He killed the Easter Bunny.

Jack:Will you all stop talking about the Easter Bunny decoration!

(Lilly's phone rings)

Lilly:Hello?(Christy starts screaming)

Chris:What's going on?

Lilly:Christy what's wrong?What?You're kidding!We'll be right there.Chris,we gotta go.

Chris:Why?

Lilly:Something happened to Christy

Chris:Oh no.Let's go(they leave).

Janet:OK.Now that the kids are gone,what is wrong,Jack?

Jack:I found out that Greg & Jenny are having sex.

Janet:What?!Oh my God!

Zack:Well now everything makes sense now.

Terri:What do you mean?

Zack:Haven't you noticed Greg being around more than usual?

Jack:How could we be so blind?

(End Of Scene)

(later)

(Chris & Lilly reach Christy's dorm and knock)

Christy:Who is it?

Lilly:Christy,it's us.

Christy:Come in

(They come in and see Christy with her head shaved)

Lilly:Oh my God!What happened

Christy:I was raped and not only that,but the person who did that even made it worse by shaving my head .

Chris:That's terrible.

Lilly: Don't worry,Christy.We'll find out who did this to you and make them pay.

Christy:Thank you,Lilly.I know you can.You were always good playing Clue when we were kids.

(later)

(Jenny comes in)

Jenny:Hi everyone.I'm home.

Janet:Jenny,we need to talk to you about something

Jenny:What is it?

Zack:They found out you & Greg had sex.

Jenny:Oh know.How?

Terri:I have no clue but somehow,your dad came in screaming about it.

Jenny:I hope dad won't do anything crazy.

Janet:Oh honey.He was mad about it,but I'm sure he's cooled down.

Greg: (outside)Ow!

(everyone runs outside and sees Greg on the ground with a bloody nose from a fallen big plastic egg)

Janet: (looks up at the roof and sees Jack)Jack!

Jack:It was an accident.

(End of Scene)

Lilly:Hey Christy.How's the new wig.

Christy:It's fine.While I was out,I bought these special costers for the next parties I go to.

Lilly:Special costers?

Christy:Yeah.If you pour a little bit of your drink on it and it turns green,there's a rape drug in it.

Lilly:Well we better hope there are these type of costers at the next party.

Chris:I just read that there's a party tonight.

CHristy:I'll make sure that these are supposed to be given to everyone at the party.Oh and here's a rape whistle.

Lilly:So you think people will here it and come running?

Christy:That's how it works.

Lilly:You have more faith in people than I do,my friend.

(later)

Larry:Jack,what did you do to my boy?

Jack:It was an accident.

Greg:The man was crazy.He threw down at me as I was getting down off the ladder.I'm suprised he didn't push me off the ladder.

Larry:You're just mad about your daughter giving herself to my son!

Jenny: (to Greg)You told him?!

Greg:It was an accident.

Jack:Just like what happened an hour ago.

Jenny:Come on Greg.Let's get out of here and get you some ice.

(in the kitchen)

Greg:I'm sorry Jenny.It just slipped out.

Jenny:How did it just slip out?

Greg:I was just driving with my dad and I did a bad parking job.Then he told me that you & me were never gonna go further.Then I just told him.After that,he gave me a hug then went home and he offered me a beer.He never did that before.

Jenny:Well I guess it's OK(starts kissing him).

Greg: (backs away)Whoah.

Jenny:WHat's the problem?

Greg:Your dad is probably gonna come in here and hit me with a wrench or something.

Jenny:Is this what it's gonna be like from now on around me

Jack:Greg

Greg:We were just talking(leaves).

Jenny:Well thanks alot dad.Now Greg will barely come near me thanks to you breaking his nose.

Jack:It was an accident.Told him it was alright with you two getting closer and as he got down,the decoration just hit him.I was just trying to be his friend.

Jenny:Well I guess it's fine with us too

(End Of Scene)

(at the party)

Chris:Lilly,I found a drink with the drug in it.

Lilly:Who is it?

CHris:I forgot but she lives in the second floor in room 316.

Lilly:I better go and help

(later in the room)

Max:Well Well.I'm so glad that I put GHB in your drink.I would have you back on your back in hour after listening to you talking about unicorns and your favorite types of clothes.Well that's an hour of my life that I wouldn't be able to take back.Well let's have some music(plays Let's Go by Trick Daddy).What's bad is that you're gonna not have any hair when you wake up(turns on the razor but hears something drop from the closet and sees the drunk girl as Lilly sneaks up on him with a stun gun and is about to run but Max trips her and turns up the music).You shouldn't be here,lady

Lilly:Let me go!(hits him across the face with the razor)

Max:Ow!That's my face you bitch!(slaps her to the ground as she goes under the bed to get her stun gun).Come on sweetheart.Let's fix that hair of your's(he pulls her from the bed as she grabs the unicorn from under the bed and stabs him with it then runs but can't run anymore as she stops to take a breath and some guy runs into her)

Lou:Are you OK?

Lilly:Not really.There's a rapist after me

Lou:Well you can rest in my room.He won't hurt you in here.(hands her a drink)You look thirsty.

Lilly:Thanks

Lou:I'll be right back(leaves)

(Lilly looks around the room and sees a picture of Lou with Max.As she does,she realizes she's been drugged.Tries to escape but she's trapped so she goes into the closet to hide.Calls Chris but there's no answer))

Max:I thought you said she was here,Lou.

Lou:She was.I don't know where she is.I'm sorry.

Max: (slaps him)I don't care if you're sorry.

(Lilly's cell phone rings)

Lilly:Chris,help.I'm in room 310.

(they open the door)

Max:Gotcha!

(Lilly blows the rape whistle and Christy hears it)

Lou:Oh no.Where gonna get caught.

Max: (slaps him)Shup up!I'll get all the GHB I have and put it down her throat.SHe's won't even remember last year(goes out of the door and Christy stops him).Hey um CHristy is it?

Christy:Going somewhere?

Max:Actually I was.

Christy:Where is she?

Max:Well if you'll just get out of my way.

Christy:Rape!Rape!Rape!

Max:I just touched you.You're crazy(runs the other way and gets clothesline by Chris)

Chris:Is this the guy?

Christy:Yes

Lou:What is going on?

Chris:Where's my girlfriend?

Lou:What did you do to my friend?I'll teach you(turns around and gets a Chick Kick from Christy)

Chris:I see you still got your moves

Christy:Thanks

(they go into Lou's room)

CHristy:Oh my God!Lilly!

CHris:I better get her home.

CHristy:Thanks for your help.I'll call Uncle Nathan and get these guys put in jail

(End Of Scene)

Zack:Well this has been a really exciting day.My son is a hero and my cousin almost broke Greg's face.

Terri:That was a good thing you did for CHristy.

Chris:I learned to be like that thank to you two.

Zack:That's nice of you to say.You better get upstairs and get to bed

Chris:OK(starts gloating then accidently hits the beaten up decoration)

Zack:That Easter Bunny has had a rough day.

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring
Allison Munn...............Christy Taylor

Logan Marshall-Green...Max Morgan

Ed Wistwack...............Lou Brown

(please reply to this story or stories)

[Chain Gang Member]

Don't Mess With Jenny
(In the office at school)
Chris:Listen Greg.People know that Jenny's a nice girl.If they find out what you two did,they won't think of her that way anymore.

Greg:Take it easy,Chris.(accidently sits on the intercom button)Nobody will find out that Jenny's no longer a virgin.

(The whole school stops everything they're doing after hearing it)

Jenny:

Chris:Um Greg.Did you just press the button that turns the microphone on.

Greg:Free pizza in the cafeteria

All:

Greg:Oops.I guess I did.

Chris: Good one Greg.

(later)

Jenny:Thanks alot Greg.Now everyone knows I'm not a virgin anymore!

Greg:I said I'm sorry.What do you want me to do?Kill myself?

Chris:That would be a start.

(Jack & Janet come in)

Janet:Hey kids.What's new?

Jenny:Nothing much.

Jack:Well I'll go in and make some dinner.Come into the kitchen and help me decide what I should cook.

(They go in only to see the kitchen window vandelized by it having Jenny Tramper on it)

Jenny:Oh I forgot to say that the school knows I'm not a virgin

(End of Scene)

Jack:How could this have happened?

Chris:Ask Greg.

Janet:Ok.Greg,what's going on how did they find out?

Greg:Well I was in the office with Chris and he told me that the school shouldn't find out about it due to her being a nice girl and then I told him that I wouldn't.

Jack:Then why did someone spray Jenny Tramper on one of our windows?

Greg:WHen I said it,I accidently was sitting on the intercom button.

(Zack & Terri come downstairs)

Terri:What's going on?(notices the window) What happened?

Zack:Jenny Tramper?That's creative(everyone looks at him)But still wrong.

Janet:Who could've done such a terrible thing?

(doorbell)

Jenny:Stacy,what are you doing here?

Stacy:I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way people found out about you losing your virginity.

Jenny:Thanks.

Stacy:I also saw someone vandelized your window.

Jenny: Did you see who it was?

Stacy:Yeah.It was Georgina.

Jenny:Georgina Sparks?Why would she do that?

Stacy:She's and evil bitch.

(later)

(at school)

Georgina:Hello Jenny.

Jenny:Hello Georgina.Spray paint anyone's window's lately?

Georgina:Yeah.Sorry about that.To show how sorry I am,I got you a present(pulls out a small pillow).So you'll be more comfortable on your back.

Jenny:

Georgina:What are you going to do about it?(pushes her)

Jenny: Don't make me,Georgina

Georgina: Do what?You don't have the guts you sluttly goody two shoes(pushes her)

Jenny:

Greg: Damn!Look at her go!

(End Of Scene)

(Jenny comes in all beat up with Greg & Chris)

Jack:What happened?

Chris:She got into a fight with Georgina Sparks

Janet:Are you alright?You've got blood on your shirt.

Jenny:That's Georgina's.

Jack:Really?

Jenny:Yeah.I punched her in the nose.

Jack: Damn,my daughter's an animial!

Janet: Jack!

Jack:Let me have this one.She drew blood.

(Zack & Terri walk in)

Terri:What's going on?

Chris:Jenny got into a fight,mom.

Zack: Damn,my cousin's an animal!

Jack:Zack,we don't encourage violence!(they low five each other behind Janet & Terri's backs)

Jenny:My principal suspended me.

Janet:Why?She's the one who started the fight.

Jenny:Her friends said that I did.

(Ron Simmons comes in)

Zack:Ron?

Ron:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDsDSyaZzvg

(Ron leaves)

Zack:OOKaaaay

Jack:I better have a talk with the principal tomorrow.

Jenny:Go ahead but I'm not going to that school anymore no matter what.

Janet:Why?

Jenny:They call me the school whore.

Terri: Don't think that.

Greg:It's true.

Zack:Are you sure?

(Jenny goes to the answering machine)

Guy:This message is for Jenny Tripper aka the school whore

Jenny:This guy followed me into the bathroom and asked me if he wanted to do it .Don't make me go back there(hugs Jack in tears)

Jack: Don't worry.We'll find you another school.

(End of scene)

Greg:Hey Mr.Tripper.Did you find a new school?

Jack:Yeah.It's that catholic school miles away far away from your high school.It may cost money but it's a new place where nobody knows her or about her.

Greg:That's too far away from me.I'm ordering you to pick a new school that's closer to me.

(Jenny comes down in a school girl outfit)

Jenny: Dad,do I really have to wear this?

Greg:On the other hand,you can't put a price on education.

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guess Starring

Stacy Simpson............Masiela Lucia

Georgina Sparks..........Michelle Trachtenberg

Guy..........................Ryan Hansen

Ron Simmons..............Himself

[Chain Gang Member]

Jail Time
Larry:The kids haven't come back from their dates yet

Zack:Keep your pants on Larry

Jack:I hope his son still has his on or I'll kill him

Janet:Calm down honey

(doorbell rings)

Terri:That must be them now

(Kate opens the door and sees them making out

Zack:Whoah.Look at them go

(The parents break them apart)

Greg:Why did you do that?

Kate:Because you all needed to come up for air

Terri:Now say good night to your dates

Lilly:Good night Chris(kisses him passionately and then leaves)

Jenny:Good night Greg(kisses him passionately and goes upstairs)

Guys: DAMN!

Janet:Actually we've got a job for you two boys

Chris:What is it?

Jack:We found out we were allergic to the plants that were sent to us so can you get rid of them

Greg:I guess so

(they leave)

(hours later)

Larry:Where are they?

(phone rings and Zack answers it)

Zack:Hello?Yes this is his father.What?!We'll be right there.

Kate:Who was it?

Zack:It was the police.They're in jail.

All:

(End of Scene)

(at the police station)

Lady: (to Jack)Hey there

Jack:Hey

Janet:Jack Tripper are you flirting with this woman?!

Jack:We were just talking

Lady:Yeah.So why are you two here?

Janet:Our friends' kids are in jail and we don't know why they're here

Lady:Yeah.My friend Jalicia is in there for stealing money from a store

Janet:Wow

Lilly: (to Jenny)I came as soon as I heard

Terri:Officer,we're here to see Chris Tripper & Greg Dallas

Officer:You're here to see the prisoners?

Terri:Yes.My son and our friends' son are in there.

Zack:Please let our son out

(Larry and Kate come to the officer)

Kate:And let our's out too

Officer:You are related to the other prisoner?

Larry:Yes

(meanwhile a policeman is with Greg & Chris)

Policeman:So you two know why you're here?

Greg:Is this a tan?

Policeman:NO THIS IS NOT A TAN!

Chris:Calm down dude

Policeman:You two are the ones who have been sexually abusing women

Chris:No we haven't

Policeman:Then why do you two have lipstick all over your faces?

Greg:We just came back from our dates

(at the front desk)

Jenny:I'm Jenny Tripper and I'm Greg Dallas' boyfriend & Chris Tripper's cousin

Lilly:And I'm Lilly Taylor who is dating Chris Tripper

Officer: (points to Zack,Terri,Larry & Kate)So you're the parents of the prisoners,(points to Lilly)you're dating one of the prisoners,(points to Jenny) and you're dating one of the prisoner along with being related to the other one.

Lady:By George he's got it!

Zack:Why are they here?

(Greg & Chris come out)

Greg:THey're wrong

Chris:Yeah.We didn't do anything

Terri:We belive you

Officer:They fit the same description of the two criminals that did the crime

(two policemen come in with a black guy and a mexican handcuffed)

Policeman 2:We found the real two that are the real criminals

Larry:These are the real criminals?

Kate: Well I can see how you mixed them up.They're practically twins

Zack:Yeah.With eyes and everything

Policeman:Here's what we found with them(puts the plants on the desk and leaves)

Officer:What great plants(sneezes)

Jack: Well you've been been so great that we'll let you have them

Janet:Yeah

Officer:Thank you(continues to sneeze as they leave)

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring

Jasmine Guy...............Lady

Tyler Labine...............Officer

Al Santos..................Policeman

Penn Badgley..............Policeman 2

Teddy Dunn................Polideman 3

Percy Daggs...............Criminal 1

Francis Capra..............Criminal 2

[Chain Gang Member]

Lilly's Birthday
Chris:I can't believe your birthday is tomorrow

Lilly:Now I'm one year older

Chris:But you're also one year prettier

Lilly:Aww.Thanks Chris (kisses him)

Jenny:Greg,why can't you say things like that?

Greg:Uh because your birthday is a while from now

Jenny:I guess that's a good reason

Chris:So Lilly.What do you want for your birthday?

Lilly:Suprise me.Get me something that comes from your heart

Greg:What does that mean?

Lilly:I'm sure you'll know(leaves)

Greg:I'm sure you'll know?What kind of an answer is that?

Jenny:You men should know what women want

Chris:How?

Jenny:THink about it(leaves)

Chris & Greg: Women

Jenny:I heard that

(End Of Scene)

CHris:Mom,Dad.We need your help

Terri:About what?

Greg:We don't know what to get Lilly for her birthday.

Zack:Well didn't she give you some ideas?

Chris:She said to suprise her

Zack&Jack:Oh boy

Janet:What does that mean?

Jenny:You too,Dad?

Jack:Well one day I was gonna your mother her lunch and when I asked her what she wanted,she told me to suprise her.So I made her a turkey & ham sub.Then she told me that she didn't like it because ham has sodium in it

Janet:I just wanted a turkey sub

Jack:You should've told me

Janet:I thought you knew

Chris: (sighs) Dad,what do you think it means?

Dad:Well son.Think what does she like to do?

Chris:Well...

Terri: (stops him)I think he means what are her hobbies & interests?

Chris:That makes more sense

Greg:Thank God

(later)

Chris:I think I know what to get her

Greg:What?

Chris:Since her name is Lilly,I'll get her a boque(sp)of lillies

Jenny:That's sweet

Greg:Now we need to get her something

Chris:THere's a flower shop a mile from so I'll see you guys later.

Jenny:Actually we need to stick together

Chris:But what about the flowers?

Greg:It doesn't close for another couple hours.We'll be back in time

(later)

Jenny:We finally got our presents for Lilly

Chris:Now can we get the flowers now

(they get there and there's a closed sign on the inside of the door)

Chris: Damn!It's closed

Greg:You should've been here earlier,Chris

(End Of Scene)

Chris:Now how am I gonna get her present?

Greg:I got it.We break in from the other side

Chris:The door has a lock on it so we can't open it and there's barbed wire on the top of the fence so there's no way none of us can climb it

Jenny:Plus it's against the law

Greg:THere's no choice,honey.You want your cousin to disappoint his girlfriend on her 16th birthday?

Jenny:I guess not

Chris:Now how are we gonna get the flowers

Greg:Chris,we could borrow my dad's tools.

(later)

(Chris is trying to get the tools but Larry is behind him)

Chris:Mr.Dallas,you're wondering why I'm going through your stuff

Larry:Yep

Chris:OK.I needed to borrow your saw so I can up chop down a tree because there's an stuck up there.A puppy which is trapped in wire.There's puppy that is tangled up in wire and stuck in a tree.So I also need your bush clippers because I want to get it and free it so it can go to a family that will raise it to grow up and one day lay its eggs

(Greg & Jenny sneak in through the back door of the garage)

Larry:Chris,I may not have gone to college but I do know that dogs don't....wait a minute.How did the puppy tangled up in wire get up a tree in the first place?

Chris:It may have already been tangled up but uh Greg threw it up there

Greg&Jenny:

Larry:Greg threw puppy up a tree?

Chris:Yeah.Not only does he have big muscles,but he's also a sick bastard

Greg:

Chris: Did you know he hit a bird while we played baseball as he hit a home run?

(Greg tries to get him but Jenny holds him back)

(later)

Greg:I can't believe you said I threw a puppy up a tree

Chris:I had to get some way to confuse him and that's all I could think of

Jenny:Now boys lets get these flowers and get out of here as soon as possible

(they break the lock and sneak in slowly)

Chris: (sees lillies) There they are(goes to get them

Greg: (Sees a dog)Um Chris.There are guard dogs coming

Jenny:Run!

(Chris grabs the flowers and runs)

Chris:Is there a way to slow them down?

Greg:Uh here you go(pulls out a steak and throws it which stops the dogs)

Jenny:It worked

(they run out and shut the door)

CHris:Greg,where did you get the steak?

Greg:I got it for my lunch tomorrow.I guess I'll have to get something else

Jenny:Lets just get home

(End of Scene)

(At Lilly's house)

Haley:Here you go,Lilly

Lilly: (opens it)Smackdown vs. Raw 2009!But this doesn't come out for months

Nathan:I have connections

Jenny:Open mine & Greg's presents

Lilly: (opens them)John Cen & Randy Orton stand ups!

Greg:Yeah.They're really best friends in real life and we thought we should get them since we're two of your best friends

Lilly:Aww.That's so sweet

Chris:Here's my gift

Lilly:Flowers

Chris:Not only flowers but Lillies because not only is that your name,but these flowers are almost as beautiful as you are

Lilly:That's so romantic

Chris:Actually,that isn't the only present from me.Here(gives it to her)

Lilly:What is it?

Chris:Open it

Lilly: (opens it)A mixed CD

Chris:It's full of romantic songs that remind me of us

All:Aww

Jenny:Greg,why can't you be more like Chris?

Greg:That's starting to get old

END

Starring

Zack Tripper..........Chris Klein

Terri Tripper...........Priscilla Barnes

Jack Tripper............John Ritter

Janet Tripper...........Joyce DeWitt

CHris Tripper............Sam Huntington

Jenny Tripper............Amanda Bynes

Lilly Taylor................Kristen Bell

Larry Dallas................Richard Kline

Kate Dallas.................Pam Dawber

Greg Dallas.................Nick Zano

Guest Starring

Bethany Joy Galeotti.......Haley Taylor

James Lafferty...........Nathan Taylor