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Old 11-10-2003, 01:59 PM   #5
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Season Five
September 23, 1988 - April 27, 1989

Baby Talk

Original Airdate: September 23, 1988
Special Guests: Tom Williams as The Baby Crier.

Vint and Naomi try to have a baby, but Mama tries to stick them with watching a friend‘s baby instead.

Ladies Choice

Original Airdate: September 30, 1988
Special Guests: Anne Haney as Alberta Meechum and Doris Hess as Lolly Perdue.

Mama battles Iola for the presidency of the Church Ladies League.

Naomi‘s New Position

Original Airdate: October 7, 1988
Special Guests: Jeff Silverman as Mr. Archie Woods.

Naomi is expecting a promotion and her boss is expecting more than Naomi is willing to give.

The Really Loud Family

Original Airdate: October 21, 1988
Special Guests: None in this episode.

Bubba films the Harper family for a school project.

Many Unhappy Returns

Original Airdate: October 28, 1988
Special Guests: None in this episode.

On Mama's birthday, she finds a gift that Vint’s boss wants him to hold on to for Naomi. Mama thinks it's for her after she reads the card and it says "to my darling mother", so she takes it back to the store and exchanges it, buying gifts for everyone in the process.

Found Money

Original Airdate: November 4, 1988
Special Guests: Bryan O‘Byrne as Mr. Guthrie, Shirley Prestia as Louise Kambeckl and Tom Williams as The Voice of the Teller Matic.

The mail is late, meaning Mama's pension check is late, so she has to wait around for the mailman. Mama finds out Iola had it the whole time and now it's too late to get to the bank to deposit it, so Iola suggests that Mama use the new Teller Matic instead of letting her checks for the bills bounce.

Mama deposits the check and asks for $20.00 cash, which the machine deducts from her account, but never gives to her, so she blasts it with her pocket book and it soon starts spitting out $800 worth in dollar bills.

Later at the dinner table, the family and Iola take part in Bubba's survey for his class and all disagree on what people should do with money they find. It soon comes out that the Teller Matic gave Mama $800 and suddenly everyone agrees that they should keep the money with everyone having ideas on how to spend it, but Mama decides to return to the bank the next day and put it in her account instead.

When Mama is there, she runs into the guy whose account the money was actually subtracted from and she returns the money without having to admit where it came from.

My Mama, Myself

Original Airdate: November 11, 1988
Special Guests: Vicki Lawrence as Grandma Crowley.

Mama is haunted by visions of her departed mother who was always trying to run her life.

Full House

Original Airdate: November 18, 1988
Special Guests: Tommy Bush as Walt Billings and Ray Young as “No Coat“ George.

Vint is wild when Mama joins his poker game and she proves to be an ace player.

Very Dirty Dancing

Original Airdate: December 2, 1988
Special Guests: Ron Joseph as Ramon Montenegro and Richard Morof as Chick Minnow.

Mama is sacked out on the couch after laser surgery to remove a corn from her toe. Bubba is waiting on Mama hand and foot when Vint and Naomi come in, dressed for a dance contest they are going to enter. Mama starts talking about her memories of the place where it's going to be held and everyone decides to go along with them as their cheering section.

Mama runs into an old friend, Ramon, and they decide to enter the contest against Vint and Naomi. Bubba and Iola enter the contest, also. Two of the final three are, of course, Vint/Naomi and Mama/Ramon. It comes down to drawing a name from a hat to determine which dance they have to do. In the end, Mama and Ramon win in an upset after doing the "Latin Sizzle" AKA Dirty Dancing.

Bedtime for Bubba

Original Airdate: December 16, 1988
Special Guests: Cathy Colvin as Toni Malone.

Mama is sitting up late waiting for Bubba when Vint and Noami come in and start telling her about the new bestseller book they just bought. From what they tell Mama, the book gives couples ideas on how to get pregnant more easily. One of them they like is doing “it” in different places.

Bubba finally comes in and introduces his new study buddy, Toni Malone. Mama flips and refuses to leave them alone until Bubba threatens to move into the college's coed dorm, which convinces Mama to go to bed.

The next morning, while cleaning Bubba's room, they find a black lace bra in the sheets. Mama thinks it is Toni's, so she tries to get Bubba to admit to it over dinner, but he doesn't. That gives Mama and Iola the idea to stitch bells to his mattress. That way, if Bubba and Toni ever decided to do something on his bed, they would be caught. When they are in the middle of the stitching job, they hear someone coming, so they hide in the closet.

It's Vint and Naomi, and as it is soon revealed, the bra was Naomi's and they were sleeping in Bubba's room the night before. Now Mama is convinced she can trust Bubba and the next time she happily goes to bed as he and Toni begin to study. As soon as Mama leaves the room, though, Bubba and Toni immediately start making out.

What a Dump

Original Airdate: December 23, 1988
Special Guests: Alan Oppenheimer as Mayor Tutwiller.

Mama plays host to the neighborhood block party, where Mayor Tutwiller is set to make a major announcement. Mama thinks he's going to award her the "Golden Troll" award for the best yard in Raytown. Instead, Tutwiller announces that the city council has voted to make Raylane the new city dump and they are going to buy all the houses on the block.

Mama refuses to move, even though everyone else is for it. Bubba plans to move into the dorm and Vint and Naomi find a newspaper ad for their dream house, which they will now be able to afford with the money they will be getting from the city for Mama’s house.

Meanwhile, Bubba is working on a history paper for class on the founder of Raytown, James A. Ray. It seems he can find plenty of facts about his life but nothing about his death, until he goes to City Hall for the records.

Mama is trying unsuccessfully to start a petition to save the house. As the day of demolition arrives, Bubba announces he found out that James A. Ray died at a house at 1 Old Decatur Road, the exact address of Mama's house before the street name was changed. Mayor Tutwiller is forced to name it an historical landmark in the end.

Mama Bell

Original Airdate: January 6, 1989
Special Guests: Hamilton Camp as the voice of Dr. Bishop and Purvis, Roz Witt as the voice of Theresa Parker and David Lodge as Dog Barker.

Mama forgets one of Bubba's phone messages but refuses to admit she needs to write them down, as she did earlier with Naomi. Iola suggests they get a answering machine. Mama refuses to buy one because they are so expensive, but then Iola says she has one they can use.

Meanwhile, Naomi brings a stray dog home and her and Vint try to find a home for it while trying to keep it hidden from Mama. They lock it up in the garage, where Mama keeps hearing it bark but they convince her she's losing her mind.

After intercepting a series of phone messages, Mama becomes convinced Naomi and Vint are sending her to live in a senior citizen center because she is going crazy. Everything is finally revealed, and the dog finds a home at the senior citizen center.

The Big Wheel

Original Airdate: January 13, 1989
Special Guests: Christopher Collins as Kevin McCary and Kevin Carr as Chad Parker.

The entire family is abuzz with lotto fever, except for Mama. She just wants Iola to get back with the cinnamon so they can start on the snickerdoodles for the church bake sale. Iola returns with a lottery ticket she bought with the change from Mama's money. Mama tries to pick her numbers and tells Iola can borrow her kids’ birthday dates to use as lotto numbers.

The night of the drawing, Bubba and Naomi have two tickets each while Vint spent his entire check on tickets. To everyone's surprise, Iola matches all 6 numbers and wins a chance to appear on “The Lotto Show.” That is, until Mama decides she wants her ticket back. Iola refuses and Vint announces he matched all of the numbers too (just not all on the same ticket). After a huge fight, Mama invites Iola back over and they convince her to share the ticket with them.

Mama is picked to spin the big wheel for a chance at two million dollars. It lands on the million slot, but as they start celebrating, it moves again and lands in the 200 dollar slot.

Mama‘s Layaway Plan

Original Airdate: January 20, 1989
Special Guests: Dorothy Van as Aunt Effie and Roy Stuart as Bradford Wellman.

Vint, Naomi and Bubba are preparing for the upcoming Bowl-A-Thon, hoping to beat the Huplanders, who have won eight years in a row. Mama returns with Aunt Effie from their cousin Ludie's funeral, where they where the only mourners. Deciding this won't happen to her, Mama begins to plan her own funeral, including spending the $1200 the family had saved for their Grand Canyon trip.

As Mama’s replacement on their team, the trio choose Iola because Mama refuses to go, saying it's too expensive. Soon after they leave though, Mama gets a shock from the lamp and passes out. Mama has a dream about her own funeral and how everyone walked out to go bowling.

She wakes up to find out that the family won the Bowl-A-Thon after the Huplanders had to forfeit. Mama decides they are going to the Grand Canyon next weekend.

My Phony Valentine

Original Airdate: January 27, 1989
Special Guests: Krista Errickson as Bunny Vanderhaus and David Sederholm as Mel.

It's Valentine's day and Naomi feels unloved and Vint buying her cheap stuff doesn't help. Mama and Iola are busy making hearts for the Valentine's Day banquet at the church. Naomi starts bugging Iola about not having a date, so Iola says she had one but turned it down. Mama hears this while getting some snacks and feels sorry for her, so she tells Iola that the movie they were going to watch tonight is off and she should get herself a date. Mama then comes up with the story that she too has a date.

Now Mama has to try and find a gentleman to go out with. Iola comes over later the afternoon and tells Mama that Roselle got a date from "Rent-A-Gent". So, feeling desperate, Mama calls "Rent-A-Gent" and gets a date herself. However, when he arrives, Mama finds out that he's a 30-something, not a 70-something like she had ordered. Apparently, they ran low on them this time of year.

Naomi and Bubba's dates are insulted when they find out that Mama got a heart-shaped box of chocolates and roses while they got cheap junk. Mama then sends her date home. Later that night, Iola comes in and tells Mama that she made the whole thing up because Naomi made her feel jealous. They sit together and agree from now on, they'll be more truthful with each other.

More Power to You

Original Airdate: February 10, 1989
Special Guests: Teddy Wilson as Gus.

Naomi and Vint rush in to get ready for the Food Circus awards banquet that night. Mama complains to the meter guy about her electric bill, saying it's always a certain price but this month it's $20 higher and she refuses to pay it. Bubba comes in, wanting $25 to rent a computer to do his paper on about Abraham Lincoln for History class.

Mama's attempts to try and sort out the problem with the power company fail, as she is continuously giving the runaround. After a final refusal by her to pay the bill, they cut off her electricity completely. Bubba loses his paper and Vint and Naomi have to get ready in the dark. Vint ends up dressing like a clown and Naomi looks worse.

With Iola's "Candles of the Holidays" collection lighting the house, Mama and the family sit down to dinner and she tells the story about the Ray river flood, which gives everyone the idea to have a sing-a-long. Iola ruins the mood when she reveals that Mama is the reason there's no power.

As it turns out, Bubba's paper turns out great and Naomi loses the award. Since Naomi didn't show up, it looked like she didn't care. The best news comes when the power company turns the power back on and admits there was a error in the billing. Of course, now they want Mama to pay a $50 reconnect fee.

Mama In One

Original Airdate: February 17, 1989
Special Guests: None in this episode.

Trying to update the church's phone directory is hard enough, but having to do it with everyone running in and out is impossible. Fortunately for Mama, her wishes of a quiet house are answered. First, Bubba announces that he is pledging a fraternity called "Sigma Alpha Pie" or "SAP" and will be away all weekend. Second, Iola asks Mama to watch her goldfish for the weekend while she takes her parents on a trip. Third, Vint gets a call and he and Naomi are invited to use a friend’s cabin all weekend.

Mama anticipates a few days of peace alone, but after finishing the update on the phone directory and realizing the TV is on the blink and not being able to read, she is bored to death. Mama is so bored that she starts talking to the goldfish and accidentally overfeeds him. Not to mention, reorganizing the kitchen is a complete failure when Mama ends up out on the front Porch literally singing in the rain.

Mama can't wait for the family to get back and she prepares a big turkey to welcome them home. However, Vint and Naomi go straight to bed in an attempt to recapture the magic of their weekend. Then Bubba, who has just become a "SAP", comes in and also goes to bed. He says he's tired and full from eating worms and other weird stuff. Lastly, Iola arrives to pick up her goldfish, but she can't stay because her mother got a rash and has to be rubbed down every twenty minutes, so after that, Mama is alone again.

April Fools

Original Airdate: February 24, 1989
Special Guests: None in this episode.

Mama gets back at her family for their April Fool‘s Day pranks.

There‘s No Place Like...No Place

Original Airdate: March 2, 1989
Special Guests: Gloria Dorson as Cora, Ray Young as JoJo, Alexander Folk as Mack, Myra Turley as The Bag Lady, Albert T. Berry as The Bum, Gregory Scott Cummins as The Vietnam Vet, Michelle Mann as Tillie and Kelley Wright as Tillie‘s Mother.

Bubba is off to a rally for the homeless, Mama and Iola are off to the Rayplex to watch Mel Gibson and Vint and Naomi are headed out to Route 5 to look at the new housing development. Mama gives Bubba $20 just in case he needs it and then he accidentally packs her wallet in his back pack and heads out. Mama notices this as she and Iola are leaving, so she has to head for the rally to get her wallet back, while Iola heads for the theatre.

However, Mama gets arrested along with the others at the rally and gets locked up, even though she tries to convince them she's not homeless. The phone is busy when she calls home, so she is out of luck. They throw Mama back into the cell, where she discovers that the people there are much like her. That includes her Cousin Cora, who lost her farm two years earlier and has been homeless ever since.

The rest of the family finds Bubba at home and wonder where Mama is. They finally head for the police station and find her locked up and refusing to leave, after the mayor decided to release everyone. Finally, after some arm twisting from Iola, the mayor agrees to call an emergency city council meeting and Reverend Meechum opens up the church basement as a temporary shelter. In the meantime, Cora moves in with Mama until she gets a place of her own.

Reading the Riot Act

Original Airdate: March 16, 1989
Special Guests: Marge Redmond as Lolly Purdue, Natalie Core as Inez and Patrika Dorbo as Florence.

Bubba and Vint are playing basketball out back when Mama comes out and starts talking about Lolly Purdue and how bad a job she is doing as the CCL President. Mama is also trying to avoid Lolly because she doesn't want to have to handwrite the thank-you notes Lolly wants. Little does Mama know, Iola has already agreed to do it.

Just as the CCL ladies are finishing, Lolly shows up with some bookmarks she wants put in the envelopes, even though they've already been sealed and stamped. That gives Mama and Iola the reason they need to try and impeach her, so they schedule a special meeting of the CCL's board. Lolly shows up unexpectedly, and Mama puts her to work in the kitchen.

As Iola and the other ladies move to the porch, then into her house, Mama makes a major discovery. Lolly can't read, so that's why she messed up the recipe and a number of other things. As Mama and Lolly began to talk, they decide to start a program for people who want to learn to read and write.

A Taxing Situation

Original Airdate: March 23, 1989
Special Guests: Richard McGonagle as Arthur Booth.

Vint and Naomi are doing their taxes while Bubba is working on Mama's. Vint and Naomi are using the long form and Mama is using the short form. Vint and Naomi figure out they'll get a $300 refund, while Bubba tells Mama she'll owe $250. That is, until Mama starts listing items she could deduct, Like pies she made for the bake sale and clothes she gave away for a rummage sale.

Mama thinks she is now going to get a refund, so she takes Iola shopping. When they get home, Bubba tells them an IRS agent stopped by and made an appointment to come by on Monday morning. Mama thinks she is going to get audited and after hearing all the horror stories of what can happen, she makes the family help out in a scheme to try and get sympathy.

The agent arrives and Mama offers him a piece of pie as Bubba comes to the door dressed as a Boy Scout, soon followed by Vint and Naomi taking up money for an overseas charity. The agent then reveals he's there to give Mama a refund for $250. That is, until Mama opens her big mouth and told the agent she hadn't declared all of her income, so now she has to re-file and pay extra interest and penalties for being late.

The Mama of Invention

Original Airdate: March 30, 1989
Special Guests: James Hampton as Keith Wheeler and Allan David Fox as Detective Sneed.

Iola meets a man that is interested in one of her inventions, the Invalid Flipper. Vint, Naomi and Bubba also have an invention of their own, called the Petlocks. When Mr. Wheeler arrives, he barely glances at Iola's invention. Keith notices Vint’s invention immediately and says he thinks it's a brilliant idea. Keith asks for 800 dollars in cash to start with, of which he will match with 800 of his own.

Mama is skeptical and refuses to let Vint have the money. That's when Detective Sneed shows up and drops the news that Wheeler is a con artist. Sneed enlists Mama and Iola in a plot to catch Wheeler red-handed. Sneed gives Mama 800 dollars in marked money and has her wear a wire to record the conversation.

Vint decides at the last minute that Mama is right, that the lock idea is dumb, so Mama has to talk him out of it. Wheeler arrives to pick up the money with Sneed parked across the street in an unmarked van. The men quickly agree on the deal, then Sneed bursts in to arrest Wheeler. Wheeler outsmarts them and pulls out a gun and tries to make a getaway, but he is captured by Iola and her Invalid Flipper.

Hate Thy Neighbor

Original Airdate: April 13, 1989
Special Guests: Jason Wingreen as Fred Gebhart and Heidi Kozak as Terri Gebhart.

Mama's sworn enemy and next door neighbor, Fred Gebhart, blows leaves back into Mama's yard, which starts a screaming match that has to be broken up by Iola. Mama then makes Bubba rake up the leaves. While Bubba is raking, he meets Fred's granddaughter, Terri, who just moved to Raytown. There is an instant attraction between them.

After only two dates, Bubba and Terri announce they are getting married, which makes both Fred and Mama insist they break up. Vint and Naomi think it's great and so does Iola. Bubba’s marriage becomes the topic of conversation and continues until Mama can't handle it anymore.

Fred comes to visit and they both realize that since they are going to be in-laws, they had better try to settle the feud. It is revealed that the whole feud had nothing to do with them, it was actually their spouses who did everything, so they “bury the hatchet.”

Just then, Bubba comes in to announce the engagement is off because he and Terri have differing opinions on where they should go on their honeymoon and it brings Mama and Fred into the fight and the feud starts all over again.

Dependence Day

Original Airdate: April 20, 1989
Special Guests: None in this episode.

Mama and Iola are preparing to go on a cruise down the Ray River on the Dixie Bell. The ladies got a special, a two-for-one deal and it was the only way they could go. Iola comes in and says her mother had another dizzy spell and she can't leave her, so Mama reminds her of a few of the times her mother has prevented her from doing stuff. An enpowered Iola runs home to confront her mother.

Iola returns minutes later with the news that she confronted her mother and said she was going to go on that cruise, no matter what. Iola’s mother responded to her plea for independence by throwing her out. Mama and the family reluctantly agree that Iola should stay with them until the cruise. However, this arrangement quickly turns sour.

Iola takes over Mama's kitchen and works nonstop from daylight until dawn, including vacuuming under Vint and Naomi's bed at 7:00 in the morning. Iola is also a terrible bunkmate, getting up to go to the bathroom constantly, opening the window and adding more covers.

Mama tries to make peace with Iola and her mother, but Iola refuses to go home. The family all decide to try and get Iola to leave by driving her nuts about dinner. The plan works out perfectly when Iola snaps and leaves, saying she'll gladly pay for Mama's ticket because she is going to take her mother instead.

Mama Makes Three

Original Airdate: April 27, 1989
Special Guests: Don Woodard as Dr. Richards.

Naomi announces that she can't get pregnant because Vint is “shooting blanks“, to say, so Iola suggests that they try and adopt a baby. Iola says she has a cousin who works for an adoption agency in Hinckley, so she sets up an interview for Naomi and Vint.

It goes well as they pass interview after interview easily until the final one. They and Mama have to meet with Dr. Richards, a family psychologist. They arrive at his office, already fighting over how Vint took the wrong route to Dr. Richards‘s office.

Dr. Richards ask Vint if his childhood was good but he's afraid to say anything with Mama there. Dr. Richards has to stand in front of Mama and Vint tells him that Mama never supports him in anything. That sets Mama off and she begins talking about her mother. Mama calls her mother a dragon and a few other things before Dr. Richards ends the session early.

Vint is very angry at Mama and threatens to move out when they find out they got turned down for adoption. Just then, Naomi comes in and says she has a second opinion and that she is pregnant.
Cheers behind the couch!
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