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Old 04-26-2004, 12:50 PM   #1
Bea
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Default Monty Python songs by the HD gang

Galaxy Song
Composers: Eric Idle & John Du Prez
Author: Eric Idle
Singer: Potsie Weber

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

Bright Side of Life
a.k.a. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Composer: Eric Idle
Author: Eric Idle
Arranger: John Altman

POTSIE:
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing your life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle,
And this'll help things turn out for the best,
And.....
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistling]
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.
And...
EVERYONE:
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistling]
POTSIE:
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...
EVERYONE:
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistling]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistling]
POTSIE:
Life's a piece of ****,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...
EVERYONE:
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]

Christmas in Heaven
Composer: Eric Idle
Author: Terry Jones

POTSIE:
It's Christmas in Heaven.
All the children sing.
It's Christmas in Heaven.
Hark. Hark. Those church bells ring.
It's Christmas in Heaven.
The snow falls from the sky,
But it's nice and warm, and everyone
Looks smart and wears a tie.
It's Christmas in Heaven.
There's great films on TV:
'The Sound of Music' twice an hour
And 'Jaws' One, Two, and Three.
RALPH, LORI BETH AND RICHIE:
There's gifts for all the family.
There's toiletries and trains.
MR C, MRS C, JOANIE, CHACHI AND FONZIE:
There's Sony Walkman Headphone sets
And the latest video games.
EVERYONE:
It's Christmas! It's Christmas in Heaven!
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!
Every single day
Is Christmas day!
It's Christmas! It's Christmas in Heaven!
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!
Every single day
Is Christmas day!

Penis Song
a.k.a. The Not NoŽl Coward Song
Composer: Eric Idle
Author: Eric Idle
Singer: Potsie Weber

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest *****.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your ****.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

Lumberjack Song
Composers: Terry Jones, Michael Palin, & Fred Tomlinson
Authors: Terry Jones & Michael Palin
Arranger: Fred Tomlinson

POTSIE:
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
RALPH, RICHIE, MR C, MRS C, JOANIE, CHACHI, LORI BETH, FONZIE AND AL:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
POTSIE:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
RALPH, RICHIE, MR C, MRS C, JOANIE, CHACHI, LORI BETH, FONZIE AND AL:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
POTSIE:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
RALPH, RICHIE, MR C, MRS C, JOANIE, CHACHI, LORI BETH, FONZIE AND AL:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
POTSIE:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
RALPH, RICHIE, MR C, MRS C, JOANIE, CHACHI, LORI BETH, FONZIE AND AL:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
AL: (talking)
Yep, yep, yep,yep,yep,yep,yep,yep.
JOANIE: (talking)
What's this?
RALPH: (talking)
Wants to be a girl?!
FONZIE: (talking)
Whoa!
HOWARD: (talking)
Hold it!
MARION: (talking)
And I thought you were so rugged!
LORI BETH: (talking)
Oh my god!
RICHIE: (talking)
Leaping lumbego!
CHACHI: (talking)
Pervert!
POTSIE: (talking)
Sorry about that, it was in the script!
RALPH, RICHIE, MR C, MRS C, JOANIE, CHACHI, LORI BETH, FONZIE AND AL:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
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