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Old 08-02-2011, 07:57 AM   #147
Race's Girl
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William Wallace
Performed by Warren 'Potsie' Weber

I am William Wallace,
My life was a mystery,
Some say born twelve seven two,
Some say twelve sixty three

Was dubbed Malcolm of Paisley,
Maybe Alan from Aire,
Did I have a wife or no?
Do you really care?

They say I had a big red beard
But all you need to know,
I was a Scottish rebel
And the English were my foe

William Wallace, Scottish rebel,
This is war I cried,
Many English fought me
And many English died

I took against the English,
Back when I was fairly wee
'Cause an Englishman called Selby
Bullied my whole family,
It upset me so I struck him dead,
Well, wouldn't you?
Then an English sheriff came along,
Guess what, I killed him too

They say he killed my wife
So he deserved what he got,
Then England's King Ed came for me,
Ooh, I'm scared! Not!

William Wallace, Scottish rebel,
Possibly six feet seven,
But all that really matters is
I sent Englishmen to heaven

Forty thousand English came
To Stirling Bridge for me,
They had to cross a narrow bridge
To get to us, you see,
We held them off, pushed them back,
It was no contest,
Bridge collapsed, hundreds drowned,
Of course, I killed the rest!

I celebrated Stirling Bridge,
Another Scottish win
By decorating my sword
With the English general's skin

William Wallace, Scottish rebel,
Scottish legend too,
Fought for Scottish freedom,
Was a hero through and through

Here's where my rebel story comes unstuck,
At Falkirk defeated, I'd run out of luck,
Spent seven years playing hide and seek,
Captured, sent to London, tried for treason,
What cheek

King Ed hanged me, then a lovely touch,
Pulled my guts out, guess he didn't like me much!

William Wallace, Scottish rebel,
In Scotland, my heart lived,
Though sadly, my head wound up
On a spike on London Bridge

Ooh, that smarts!
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