Performed by the Happy Days cast
Cigar's are evil, you won't miss 'em,
We'll find ways to simulate that smell,
What a sorry fella! Rolled up and smoked
Like a collicella here on level one of Robot Hell!
Gambling's wrong and so is cheating,
So is forging phony I.O.U.s,
Let's let Lady Luck decide what type of torture's justified,
I'm pit force here on level two!
Ooh, deep-fried robot,
Just tell me why,
Just read this fifty-five page warrant,
We checked around, there really aren't
Then please let me explain, my crimes were merely boyish pranks,
You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks,
Aw, don't blame me, blame my upbringing,
Please stop sinning while I'm singing
Selling bootleg tapes is wrong,
Musicians need that income to survive,
Hey, Bender gonna make some noise
With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys,
That's what-cha what-cha what-cha get on level five
I don't feel well,
It's up to us to rescue him,
Maybe he likes it here in hell?
It's us who tempted him to sin
Maybe he's back at the motel?
Come on, Fry, don't be scared,
I'm sure at least one of us will be spared
So sit back and enjoy the ride,
My ass has blisters from the slide!
Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights,
Publishing indecent magazines,
You'll pay for every crime,
Knee-deep in electric slime
You'll suffer 'till the end of time,
Enduring tortures most of which rhyme,
Trapped forever here in Robot Hell!