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Old 01-15-2010, 12:16 AM   #1
Brian Damage
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Movie The Movie Gary Coleman Doesn't Want You to See, is Now Available on DVD

This is the trailer for Midgets vs. Mascots, the movie we threw the big premiere party for back in April. Now that the movie’s out on DVD, people are starting to get mad…really mad.

Namely, Scottie Pippen and Gary Coleman. Scottie’s people sent out a press release about it last week, and this is a highlight of what he had to say:

“In 2008, I agreed to play a cameo role in a movie titled ‘A Tribute to Big Red’ (now titled ‘Midgets vs. Mascots’). My role was scripted, and the first two scenes went off without any problems. During the third scene, I was told that four Little People, along with actor Gary Coleman, were going to become angry with something I said and storm off as the scene ends. Instead, they basically attacked me, with Gary Coleman apparently climbing on a chair behind me to hit me over the head with a phone (twice).

A short fight ensued before I heard the film’s director yell ‘cut.’ As I recall, some of the Little People were laughing as the director explained that the scene was ’sort of like an episode of the TV show Punk’d.’ At that point, I left quickly without a clear understanding of what was going on.

As for the Little Person who claims he was injured in the attack, I really don’t think I caused the injury or can be held to blame. To the best of my knowledge, there is no action being taken against me, nor am I pursuing any action.”

Basically, Pippen’s pissed that he was tricked into getting hit over the head with a phone by a midget (twice, apparently). Gary Coleman, on the other hand, is upset that we get to see his balls in the movie. Yup, that’s right…you get to see full-frontal Gary Coleman in Midgets vs. Mascots. And you thought Christmas was over!

Gary, who once stooped so low as to become a real-life Paul Blart, seems to think he’s above getting naked on film — despite the fact that he signed several release forms to the contrary. To be clear, this is the same (little) man who once sold his collection of Gap Kids pants on Ebay for some extra cash. The same (small) person who punched a female fan right in her whore mouth…for asking for his autograph. What a bitch!

Now, I have yet to see Midgets vs. Mascots (I guess I’ve been too busy watching reality TV). That said, I’m adding it to my NetFlix queue in approximately 15 seconds. Call me a prude, but I’ve only seen one midget’s penis before…and he was white. I don’t want to get into it right now, but it was Halloween and I was drinking Captain Morgan. The Cap’n tends to bring out bad things in me.

Anyway! I can’t resist the prospect of checking out a (big?) black midget penis. Will I be able to go back, once I’ve seen black? I’ll let you know as soon as I find out.
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