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Old 11-08-2004, 11:55 AM   #40
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Join Date: Dec 19, 2003
Location: On Fonzie's bike outside Arnold's
Posts: 791
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Bad Meets Evil
Performed by Ralph Malph and Warren 'Potsie' Weber
Cowboy narrator: Richie Cunningham

I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts,
You know, there's a story behind that there saloon,
Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over,
Sheriffs couldn't stop em,
Quickest damn gun slingers I've ever seen,
Got murdered in cold blood,
That ol' saloon there was their lil' home away from home,
They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern,
And on a quiet night, you can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da Five-Nine

I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet,
I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat,
I translate when my voice is read through a sismograph
And a noise is bred, picked up and transmitted through Royce's head

Trapped him in his room, possessed him and hoist his bed
Till the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead,
Told him each one of his boys is dead,
I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said

Who hard? yo, I done heard worse,
We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other
To see which one'll swerve first,
Two blind bandits panic, whose mental capacity holds
That of a globe on top of nine other planets

Kissed the cheek of the devil,
Intelligence level is hell-ier than treble peakin on speakers in the ghetto,
Dismissal, I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of a atheist
Intercepting missles wit my bare hands like a patriot

One track sliced without swords, I buried the Christ corpse
In my past life when the Black Knight mounted the white horse
And stay over-worked, its like the Nazis in the nations
Collaborating, attemptin' to take over the earth

'Cause this is what happens when bad meets evil,
We hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people,
He's evil and I'm bad like Steve Segal,
Above the Law 'cause I don't agree wit police either
(****, me neither)

We ain't eager to be legal
So please leave me wit the keys to your Jeep Eagle,
I breathe ether in three amounts
When I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle

Releasin' rage on anybody in squeezing range,
Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain,
(He's insane)
No I'm not, I just want to shoot up and I'm pissed off
'Cause I can't find a decent vain

The disaster wit dreds,
I'm bad enough to commit suicide and survive long enough
To kill my soul after I'm dead,
When in danger it's funny actually my flavor's similar to a waiter
'Cause I serve any stranger wit money

I spray a hundred, man until they joint chains
While slippin' bullets at point blank range like they was punches,
Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral
Serve this lobbyist, strangle your body then confirm you

Whippin' human ass, throwin' blows, crackin' jaws
Wit my fists wrapped in gause, dipped in glue and glass,
I'm blazin MC's, at the same time amazin MC's,
Somehow MC's ain't that eye-brow raisin' to me,
From all of angles of us, flash a mack loud enough to cast a avalanche
And bust till volcanoes errupt

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me?
I'm the one who burned your house down,
Well, I'm out now
And this time I'm comin' back to blow your house up
And I ain't gonna leave you a window to jump out of

Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms
And you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave,
I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

'Cause this is what happens when bad meets evil
And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's evil and I'm bad like Steve Segal,
Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel

We'll be waitin',
See you in hell,
Wall Street, Royce Da Five-Nine, Slim Shady,
See you in hell for the sequel (bye bye)
Bad meets evil, what? (till next time)

And so that's the story when Bad Meets Evil,
Two of the most wanted individuals in the county,
Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look like law-abiding citizens,
It's too bad they had to go out the way they did,
Got shot in the back comin out of that ol' saloon
But their spirits still live on till this day,
Shhh... wait, did y'all hear that?
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