bubblegum
02-17-2004, 02:41 PM
Here's the final Monlogue. The is only what Roseanne says.During the episode other people had conversations.
Everyone wonders where creative people get their inspiration. Actually I found it's all around you. Take Leon for instance. Leon is not really as cool as I made him. He's the only gay guy I know in the Elks club. Then there's Scott. He is really a probate lawyer I met about a year ago and introduced to Leon. I guess I didn't get too creative there. A lot of people called my son a nerd but as I told him they called Steven Spielberg a nerd too. A lot of times nerds are really artists who listen to the beat of a different drum. My mom came from a generation where women were supposed to be submissive about everything. I never bought into that and I wish mom hadn't either. I wish she'd made different choices so I think that's why I made her gay. I wanted her to have some sense of herself as a woman. Oh yeah… and she's nuts. My sister in real life is gay but for some reason I always imagined her with a man. She's been my rock and I wouldn't have made it this far without her. I guess Nancy's kind of my hero too. Because she got out of a terrible marriage and found great spiritual strength. I don't know what happened to that husband of hers but in my book I sent him into out of space. When Becky bought David home a few years ago I thought this is wrong he was much more Darlene's type. When Darlene met Mark I thought he went better with Becky. I guess I was wrong but I still think they'd be more compatible the other way around. So in my writing I did what any good mother would do I fixed it. I lost Dan last year when he had his heart attack. He's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I miss him. Dan and I always felt that it was our job as parents to improve the lives of our children by fifty percent over our own and we did. We didn't hit our children as we'd been hit, we didn't demand their unquestioning silence and we didn't teach our daughters to sacrifice more than our sons. As a modern wife I walked a tight rope between tradition and progress and usually I failed by one outsiders standards or another. But I figured out that either winning or losing doesn't count for women like it does for men. We women are the ones who transform everything we touch and nothing on earth is higher than that. My writings really what got me through the last year after Dan died I mean at first I felt so betrayed as if he'd left me for another woman. When you're a blue collar woman and your husband dies it really takes away your whole sense of security. So I began writing about having all the money in the world and I imagined myself going to spas and swanky New York parties just like the people on TV. Where nobody has any real problems and everything is solved within thirty minutes. I tried to imagine myself as Mary Richards, Jeanie, That girl but I was so angry I was more like a female Steven Seagal wanting to fight the whole world. For a while I lost myself in food and in a depression so deep I couldn't even get out of bed. Until I saw that my family needed me to pull through so that they could pull through. One day I actually imagined myself with another man, and I felt so guilty, that I had convinced myself that it was for some altruistic reason. And then Darlene had the baby and it almost died. I snapped out of the mourning immediately and turned all my life energy into choosing life. And in choosing life I realized my dreams of being a writer wouldn't just come true I had to do the work. As I wrote about my life I relived it. Whatever I didn't like I rearranged. I made a commitment to finish my story even if I had to write in the middle of the night while everyone else was asleep but the more I wrote the more I understood the choices I made and that was the real jackpot. I learned that dreams don't work without action. I learned that no one could stop me but me. I learned that love is stronger than hate. Most important I learned that god is real he and/or she is right inside you underneath the pain, the sorrow and the shame. I think I will be a lot better that this book is done.
Everyone wonders where creative people get their inspiration. Actually I found it's all around you. Take Leon for instance. Leon is not really as cool as I made him. He's the only gay guy I know in the Elks club. Then there's Scott. He is really a probate lawyer I met about a year ago and introduced to Leon. I guess I didn't get too creative there. A lot of people called my son a nerd but as I told him they called Steven Spielberg a nerd too. A lot of times nerds are really artists who listen to the beat of a different drum. My mom came from a generation where women were supposed to be submissive about everything. I never bought into that and I wish mom hadn't either. I wish she'd made different choices so I think that's why I made her gay. I wanted her to have some sense of herself as a woman. Oh yeah… and she's nuts. My sister in real life is gay but for some reason I always imagined her with a man. She's been my rock and I wouldn't have made it this far without her. I guess Nancy's kind of my hero too. Because she got out of a terrible marriage and found great spiritual strength. I don't know what happened to that husband of hers but in my book I sent him into out of space. When Becky bought David home a few years ago I thought this is wrong he was much more Darlene's type. When Darlene met Mark I thought he went better with Becky. I guess I was wrong but I still think they'd be more compatible the other way around. So in my writing I did what any good mother would do I fixed it. I lost Dan last year when he had his heart attack. He's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I miss him. Dan and I always felt that it was our job as parents to improve the lives of our children by fifty percent over our own and we did. We didn't hit our children as we'd been hit, we didn't demand their unquestioning silence and we didn't teach our daughters to sacrifice more than our sons. As a modern wife I walked a tight rope between tradition and progress and usually I failed by one outsiders standards or another. But I figured out that either winning or losing doesn't count for women like it does for men. We women are the ones who transform everything we touch and nothing on earth is higher than that. My writings really what got me through the last year after Dan died I mean at first I felt so betrayed as if he'd left me for another woman. When you're a blue collar woman and your husband dies it really takes away your whole sense of security. So I began writing about having all the money in the world and I imagined myself going to spas and swanky New York parties just like the people on TV. Where nobody has any real problems and everything is solved within thirty minutes. I tried to imagine myself as Mary Richards, Jeanie, That girl but I was so angry I was more like a female Steven Seagal wanting to fight the whole world. For a while I lost myself in food and in a depression so deep I couldn't even get out of bed. Until I saw that my family needed me to pull through so that they could pull through. One day I actually imagined myself with another man, and I felt so guilty, that I had convinced myself that it was for some altruistic reason. And then Darlene had the baby and it almost died. I snapped out of the mourning immediately and turned all my life energy into choosing life. And in choosing life I realized my dreams of being a writer wouldn't just come true I had to do the work. As I wrote about my life I relived it. Whatever I didn't like I rearranged. I made a commitment to finish my story even if I had to write in the middle of the night while everyone else was asleep but the more I wrote the more I understood the choices I made and that was the real jackpot. I learned that dreams don't work without action. I learned that no one could stop me but me. I learned that love is stronger than hate. Most important I learned that god is real he and/or she is right inside you underneath the pain, the sorrow and the shame. I think I will be a lot better that this book is done.