Pavan
07-25-2003, 10:48 AM
- Nick@Nite September 2003 Schedules
- Viewer Appreciation Summer ends after Monday, August 4 airing.
- Tuesday, August 5 to Saturday, September 20 (same schedule as April 15-July 6):
9:00PM The Cosby Show (Sun-Thu)
9:30PM The Cosby Show (Sun-Thu)
10:00PM Cheers (Sun-Thu); The Cosby Show (Fri-Sat)
10:30PM Cheers (Sun-Thu); The Cosby Show (Fri-Sat)
11:00PM Three's Company
11:30PM Three's Company
12:00AM The Cosby Show
12:30AM The Cosby Show
1:00AM Wings
1:30AM Cheers
2:00AM All in the Family
2:30AM Coach
3:00AM Three's Company
3:30AM Three's Company
4:00AM Perfect Strangers
4:30AM Head of the Class
5:00AM Family Ties
5:30AM Kids Say the Darndest Things
- Sunday, September 22 to Thursday September 25 from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. will be the "Roseanne" Marathon. More info on that below.
- Friday, September 26 to Sunday, October 12 **
7 days a week, unless noted. * - means a change from the original Sept. 26 schedule
9:00PM Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (Sept. 28-Oct. 2); Three's Company (Oct. 5) (Sun-Thu)
9:30PM Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (Sept. 28-Oct. 2); Three's Company (Oct. 5) (Sun-Thu)
10:00PM The Cosby Show
10:30PM The Cosby Show
11:00PM Roseanne
11:30PM Roseanne
12:00AM The Cosby Show
12:30AM The Cosby Show
1:00AM Three's Company*
1:30AM Cheers
2:00AM Roseanne
2:30AM Roseanne
3:00AM All in the Family*
3:30AM Wings
4:00AM Three's Company*
4:30AM Cheers*
5:00AM Kids Say the Darndest Things*
5:00AM Kids Say the Darndest Things*
Starting October 12, the same schedule except 9-10PM and 5-6AM will be Full House.
So Coach, Perfect Strangers, and Family Ties are gone after September 20, since the Roseanne marathon is Sept. 21-25. Kids Say will be gone by October 12.
Notes:
- Kids Say the Darndest Things will be replaced by Full House starting Sunday, October 12 and air Sun-Thu at 9 p.m. It's basically holding the spot for Full House. Full info for October will come soon.
- Also, please note that from Monday, October 6 to Thursday, October 9 from 9 p.m. to 12 a.m. the line-up above will be pre-empted for the Full House marathon, the normal schedule will start at 12 a.m. those 4 days.
- Specials and Marathons:
"Roseanne Launch Marathon"
Sunday, September, 21 to Thursday, September 25
9:00PM to 6:00AM E/P each night
This Fall, the hit sitcom Roseanne featuring TV's infamous and irreverent 'Domestic Goddess' joins the Nick@Nite lineup. The show will launch on the network with a 5 day all night marathon of the series' most memorable episodes.
Sunday, September 21
9:00pm #9-Dan’s Birthday Bash
When Dan goes head to head with a barroom bully, Roseanne’s birthday bash for him at the Lobo Lounge is more of a disaster than a party. Roseanne, angry over Dan breaking a promise never to fight again, storms out of the bar. Dan backs down as the bar looks on. Also, Becky breathlessly awaits a dinner invitation from her new heartthrob, Chip.
9:30pm #17-Becky’s Choice
Becky finds herself in a real jam when Roseanne invites her boyfriend Chip and his parents over for an impromptu dinner party. Unbeknownst to Roseanne, Becky’s plans for the evening include another man. To make matters worse, Chip’s parents are yuppies to the max, so when they show up, the battle of the classes erupts. Becky uses this as an opportunity to sneak in some loving with her other boyfriend out behind the house. Roseanne spots what’s going on and cuts it off abruptly. This doesn’t sit well with Becky at all, and she and Roseanne almost come to blows.
10:00pm #20 Toto, We’re not in Kansas Anymore
As a tornado spins through Lanford, a storm is brewing inside the Conner house over the whereabouts of Jackie who hasn't returned from her trip to the market.
10:30pm #21-Death and Stuff
Amid the hubbub of the family’s weekend activities, including Dan trying to repair the refrigerator, a door-to-door salesman drops by - and then drops dead in the Conner kitchen.
11:00pm #24-Inherit the Wind
Roseanne tries her hand at telephone solicitation while trying to console Becky who had an embarrassing accident in front of the school council.
11:30pm #28-House of Grown-ups
After a lonely architect who works with Dan has dinner at the Conners', he attempts to buy their friendship.
12:00am #29-Five of a Kind
A kiss is just a kiss, but it could mean trouble when the kisser is Dan's buddy Arnie, and the kiss is Roseanne.
12:30am #34-Lobocop
Roseanne and Dan realize they are drifting apart after she takes a second job working nights at the Lobo Lounge. They’re both confused about the situation, and each of them turns to their best friend for advice. Dan gets an earful from his friend, Andy, and Roseanne leans on her little sister, Jackie. After some careful thought and some tears, Dan decides that he and the kids need Roseanne, so he dresses up in a leather jacket and slicked back hair and heads to the Lobo Lounge to try to win back his wife.
1:00am #36-Chicken Hearts
Roseanne finds it difficult to treat her new boss at Chicken Divine with any respect - he’s a spiteful, unpleasant 17- year-old. But trying to improve relations and hopefully get off the weekend shift, Roseanne invites him over for dinner with the family. She then tries to win him over by having Dan complete an auto class project for him. Dan sees this as a golden opportunity to influence Roseanne’s boss. Instead of helping, the whole thing backfires, and Roseanne losses her job, but not without giving her boss a final send off.
1:30am #37-One for the Road
When the parents are away, Becky and her friend Dana play--with a little help from the liquor cabinet.
2:00am #38-An Officer and a Gentleman
When Roseanne is called away, Jackie impresses Dan and the kids with her homemaking skills.
2:30am #39-Born to be Wild
Roseanne and Dan get a blast from the blast when old pal Ziggy cruises into Lanford on a motorcycle, prompting the Conners to resurrect their old bike.
3:00am #40-Hair
Roseanne applies for a job at a beauty salon doing the same domestic chores that she does at home.
3:30am #44-Fender Bender
Roseanne gets into a car crash with Mrs. Wellman, her former employer. After a visit to the hospital, Roseanne comes home to spend a few agonizing days recuperating. Seeing this as an excellent opportunity to get some cash out of Mrs. Wellman, Dan calls on a favor from a lawyer friend of his. This lawyer turns out to be a complete loser, and pretty much tells Dan and Roseanne they don’t stand a chance in court, especially with him as their attorney. Angered by Mrs. Wellman’s lack of concern, Jackie confronts her at the beauty shop and throws a little scare into her. Later, Mrs. Wellman shows up at Roseanne’s door with a check. Roseanne takes this as an insult and threatens to sue Mrs. Wellman. After careful reconsideration and several drops of sweat, Roseanne decides to accept the check and let "bygones be bygones."
4:00am #49-Friends and Relatives
Dan’s sizable loan to his best friend, Arnie, doesn’t sit well with Rosey when she finds out he used the money to buy a breast job for his fiancée. Shortly after that, Dan loses out on a big job, which puts the whole family in debt. Dan, afraid to ask Arnie for the money back, is forced to ask Jackie for a loan. Jackie gives it to him, but not without making him grovel for it.
4:30am #54-Trick or Treat
It’s Halloween, and Roseanne is going to a costume party at the Lobo Lounge. When she shows up dressed as a bearded lumberjack, she is totally convincing, and decides to keep up the charade.
5:00am #55-PMS, I Love You
Dan wants out when the PMS monster visits Roseanne, who's trying to plan a surprise party for her husband.
5:30am #56-Bird is the Word
Becky suddenly becomes one of the coolest kids at school and at home, when she’s caught making a rude hand gesture in her class picture. But opinions change quickly when Roseanne gets summoned to the principal’s office - for detention!
Monday, September 22
9:00pm #57-Dream Lover
Dan talks in his sleep, and Roseanne gets suspicious when his sweet dreams turn into nocturnal affairs. Dan, knowing that Roseanne is onto his dream lover, confesses who she is and says it’s just a "dream." Roseanne, fearing the worst, goes out in search of the dream girl and finds her. Soon after that Dan finds himself in the dog house and occupying the couch. He drifts from dream to dream, each one more risqué than the other. Finally, Dan and Roseanne have a heart to heart and share each other’s fantasies.
9:30pm #59-Confessions
During a visit from her mom, Roseanne realizes that her mother considers her to be mearly ordinary.
10:00pm #60-The Courtship of Eddie, Dan’s Father (1)
Dan's dad visits; Roseanne plays matchmaker for a customer and Crystal. Part one of two.
10:30pm #61-The Wedding (2)
Roseanne dives into wedding preparations, while Dan continues to give his father the silent treatment. Part two of two.
11:00pm #64-Valentine’s Day
It’s Valentine’s Day and Cupid’s arrows go astray at the Conner house. Roseanne is mad at Dan for forgetting what day it is, and Darlene’s heart is broken when a boy she likes asks Becky to the school dance.
11:30pm #67 Her Boyfriend’s Back
Mark and Becky take Dan's prized motorcycle out for a spin; Becky becomes a discipline problem at home.
12:00am #69 Second Time Around
The Conners anticipate a baby boom as Roseanne helps Crystal get ready for her childbirth classes. Also Dan has a near-miss accident at work that causes a worried D.J. to follow Dan wherever he goes.
12:30am #71 Scenes From A Barbecue
Dan revises his will after his life flashes before him during an accident at a portable construction-site toilet; Roseanne helps Crystal with her Lamaze classes.
1:00am #73-A Bitter Pill to Swallow
Roseanne is confronted by a daunting proposition: Becky wants to start using birth control pills. A stunned Roseanne pulls herself together - and agrees to take Becky to the doctor. Secretly, Roseanne hopes her calm attitude will convince Becky to change her mind. Meanwhile, Dan keeps a close watch on Becky’s boyfriend, Mark, by giving him a job fixing motorcycles.
1:30am #75-Why Jackie Becomes a Trucker
Depressed over seeing her old boyfriend, Gary, with his new fiancée, Jackie is driven into the arms of another man.
2:00am #76-Darlene Fades to Black
The usually spunky Darlene, who may have a case of the high school freshman blues, rebels against parental expectations. All she wants is to be left alone in her room. Meanwhile, Becky wants a motorcycle, but she tells Dan and Roseanne she’ll settle for a car.
2:30am #82-Thanksgiving 1991
Once again, Roseanne hosts the ultimate day in anxiety for the extended family - Thanksgiving. Her mother says her father is sick, and won’t be coming for dinner, but Jackie and Roseanne don’t believe her. They beg her to tell them the truth, and when she does, they get the shock of their lives.
3:00am #79-Vegas (1)
Roseanne and Dan join Nancy and Arnie when they decide to marry in Vegas. Part 1 of two.
3:30am #80-Vegas, Vegas (2)
Roseanne and Dan join Nancy and Arnie when they decide to marry in Vegas. Part 1 of two.
4:00am #83-Kansas City, Here We Come
Roseanne and Jackie pay a visit to their dad's "other woman" in Kansas City. Dan finds new respect for Mark after he physically confront's Becky's new boss.
4:30am #88-Less is More
A doctor recommends that Roseanne undergo surgery for her back problems. Dr Doogie Howser (Neil Patrick Harris) has a cameo.
5:00am #91-The Commercial Show
Roseanne tries to convince Leon, her boss at Rodbell’s Coffee Shop, that she and her family are perfect to star in a new TV commercial for the coffee shop. Meanwhile, D.J. is upset when he discovers his friend from next door is moving back to Chicago.
5:30am #97-Aliens
Roseanne struggles to keep the household intact while looking for a new job. Meanwhile, business is slow at Dan’s motorcycle shop and Becky blows up when the family’s economic woes put her college plans on hold. D.J., however, manages to pull everyone together with an unexpected scholastic performance.
Tuesday, September 23
9:00pm #98 Terms of Estrangement, Part 1
Roseanne and Dan try to keep laughing so they won’t start crying as their motorcycle shop goes out of business. Meanwhile, Becky’s boyfriend Mark is offered a fabulous job in another state, so they decide to elope.
9:30pm #99 Terms of Estrangement, Part 2
Roseanne tries to lift Dan’s spirits when he feels like a failure over the loss of his motorcycle shop. Also, Becky and Mark return from their elopement to face a bitter Dan and Roseanne.
10:00pm #100 -The Dark Ages
In the dark after their power is turned off for nonpayment, Roseanne and Dan must look at Darlene in a new light after David spends the night in her room.
10:30pm #101 -Mommy Nearest
Roseanne and Jackie’s mother comes to town with shocking news. She’s moving to Lanford! To ease the blow, she’s giving her children thousands of dollars. Also, Jackie begins dating a much younger man.
11:00pm #102 -Pretty in Black
It’s Darlene’s sweet sixteen and Roseanne plans a nightmarish surprise party. In a futile attempt at revenge, Darlene dyes her hair jet black. Meanwhile, Roseanne entertains the notion of investing in Jackie’s business idea.
11:30pm #103 -Looking For Loans In All The Wrong Places
Roseanne and Jackie have trouble securing a bank loan for the business, and their worst nightmare becomes a reality -they must turn to their mother for help. Mom agrees under one condition; she wants to be a partner!
12:00am #104 -Halloween IV
Roseanne refuses to take part in the Halloween festivities. In a hilarious take-off of A Christmas Carol, Lanford’s "Goddess of Gore" (Roseanne) is visited by the ghosts of Halloween past, present and future, who reflect on her old Halloween antics in an attempt to change her mind.
12:30am #105 -Ladies’ Choice
Roseanne begins to feel her age when her mom moves into a retirement home. Meanwhile, Nancy drops a bombshell on Roseanne and Jackie by confessing to her relationship with another woman. Special guest star Morgan Fairchild.
1:00am #107 -Good Girls, Bad Girls
Darlene attends a rock concert with Molly, but is left to find her own way home when Molly meets a boy. Dan and Roseanne are worried sick when Darlene returns home hours late with an excuse they don’t believe.
1:30am #106-Stand On Your Man
Arnie returns to Lanford in a vain attempt to win back Nancy. Roseanne feels she must tell him Nancy is gay. When a stranger threatens Roseanne at The Lunch Box, Jackie insists that she, Roseanne and Nancy enroll in a self-defense class.
2:00am #109 -No Place Like Home For The Holidays
A Christmas Eve snowstorm traps Roseanne and Jackie and the Lunch Box with Bev and Nana Mary. Meanwhile, Darlene is stuck at David's house and gets an insight into his homelife.
2:30am #112 -Lanford Daze
The Lanford Days Celebration will surely be a day to remember. D.J. is preparing for a school play, Dan tries his hand at selling hot tubs, and Darlene is demonstrating her animal rights stance by lashing out against Roseanne’s business. Country singer Loretta Lynn guest stars.
3:00am #110 -Crime and Punishment, Part 1
is summoned to D.J.’s principal’s office when D.J. is caught with obscene reading materials - which he got from Darlene! Meanwhile, Roseanne learns a shocking secret when she presses Jackie about spending all her time with Fisher.
3:30am #111-War and Peace, Part 2
Conclusion. Dan returns home to rampant rumors about his behavior, while Roseanne helps a dazed Jackie move.
4:00am #113 -Wail ‘Til Your Father Gets Home
Emotions run the gamut from grief to relief when Roseanne’s father dies. As the family members cope in their own way, it’s up to Roseanne to make arrangements, comfort Jackie, confront her father’s mistress and come to grips with her troubled childhood.
4:30am #114 -First Cousin, Twice Removed
Roseanne’s rich and snooty cousin, Ronnie, makes an unannounced visit to Lanford. She reignites a long-simmering feud with Roseanne when she advises Darlene to leave home to pursue her dreams. Joan Collins guest stars.
5:00am #116-It’s a Boy
Darlene wants her boyfriend, David, to move in with the Conners. Roseanne is against the idea until she sees what David’s home life is like. Now she has to convince Dan to let him stay.
5:30am #117 -It Was Twenty Years Ago Today
For their anniversary, Roseanne poses in a sexy photo for Dan, while he moonlights to pay for his present for her.
Wednesday, September 24
9:00pm #118-Playing With Matches
Roseanne’s mom makes a new friend, Jake, at the retirement home. Now, Roseanne’s playing Cupid and Jackie’s planning their wedding. With special guest Red Buttons.
9:30pm #121 -Tooth OR Consequences
Darlene must choose between David and her future when she gets accepted to a college for the arts in Chicago. Meanwhile, Dan accidentally knocks Roseanne’s tooth out the day she has to meet with the health inspector - who turns out to be her old boss, Leon! Guest star Martin Mull.
10:00pm #122 -Daughters and Other Strangers
Dan and Roseanne decide to let Darlene go to art school in Chicago, but will Darlene leave David to pursue her future? Meanwhile, at a birthday party, "Seven Minutes In Heaven" turns D.J. into a new man.
10:30pm #123-Two Down, One to Go
Roseanne is suffering from empty-nest syndrome as Darlene settles into her college dorm, where they have a revealing mother-daughter chat, and Roseanne returns home with a plan.
11:00pm #124-The Mommy’s Curse
Brutally honest Roseanne suffers the consequences after telling Bev that she's had her fill of her at the Lunch Box. Meanwhile, Jackie jumps back into the dating arena.
11:30pm #125-Party Politics
Roseanne suspects that D.J. is "up to something" and grills Darlene for information. To her horror, she sees that the two are teaming up against her! Meanwhile, Fred manages to finagle an invitation to Jackie’s housewarming party in hopes of convincing her to come back to him.
12:00am #126-A Stash From The Past
The discovery of a mysterious cache of marijuana in the Conner household sparks a smoky chain of events -- leading Roseanne and Dan to the humorous realization that their days of "rebellious youth" are over.
12:30am #127-Be My Baby
Roseanne wants another baby. But to everyone’s surprise, Jackie breaks the news about being in the "family way" -sending Roseanne into a swirl of activity preparing for Jackie’s maternity.
1:00am #129-Homeward Bound
When Darlene surprises everyone with an unannounced visit home from college, David moves out of the Conner household to supposedly make a life with his estranged mother. He actually ends up secretly moving in with Darlene at school. Meanwhile, D.J. enters the experiences of puberty.
1:30am #133-The Drivers Seat
It’s a balancing act for Roseanne when D.J. is caught stealing the family automobile and, at the same time, Leon tries to take control of the diner. Roseanne has her hands full as she is torn between her responsibilities to D.J. while also fighting for the business.
2:00am #134-White Trash Christmas I
Christmastime brings Darlene a surprise visit from Bev and DJ, Becky a demeaning waitress job requiring a sexy outfit, and the Conners a community edict regulating outdoor decorations, which prompts Roseanne to plot something really tacky.
2:30am #135-White Trash Christmas II (Suck Up or Shut Up)
Christmastime brings Darlene a surprise visit from Bev and DJ, Becky a demeaning waitress job requiring a sexy outfit, and the Conners a community edict regulating outdoor decorations, which prompts Roseanne to plot something really tacky.
3:00am #136-Busted
On the homefront, Becky and Mark are feuding and Dan does his best to help them to reconcile their relationship. Meanwhile, when Roseanne learns that David and Darlene are living together at college in Chicago, she hits the highway in a fury.
3:30am #137-David vs. Goliath
David confesses the truth about Darlene to Dan and gets kicked out of the house. Then he misinterprets Jackie's motives when he moves in with her.
4:00am #138-Everyone Comes to Jackie’s
Darlene has been lying about her relationship with David and returns home from college to come clean and "face the music" with Roseanne and Dan. On the other end, Roseanne petitions Dan to allow David to move back into the house with them.
4:30am #139-Don’t Make Room For Daddy
Roseanne finds herself in the midst of a huge family squabble when Fred decides to take Dan’s advice and sue pregnant Jackie for custody of the unborn child.
5:00am #140-Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Roseanne is the life of the party at a gay bar, until Nancy's girlfriend plants a kiss on her. Meanwhile, back home, Becky's old flame gives Mark reason to distrust Becky.
5:30am #141-Labor Day
The usual symptoms - panic, pain and incredible joy - announce the imminent arrival of Jackie’s child. Even though Fred is the father, Roseanne struggles to limit his participation in the process.
Thursday, September 25
9:00pm #144- I Pray The Lord My Stove To Keep
When Roseanne accepts delivery of too many new stoves for her diner, young D.J., who has found religion, begins spouting words of conscience and surprises Roseanne with some serious ethical questions.
9:30pm #145-Body By Jake
When Bev breaks her pelvis in the retirement home, Roseanne and Dan are shocked to find out how it happened. As a result, Bev is forced to move in with them rather than die of embarrassment in the retirement community.
10:00pm #146-Isn’t Romantic
Romance is in the air and Cupid is shooting arrows at the Conner household. While Fred seeks advice from Roseanne on how to propose marriage to Jackie, Dan and Roseanne are rekindling their romance with inspiration from the soap opera, "One Life to Live."
10:30pm #150-Snoop Davy Dave
After a jilted David tattles to Roseanne about Darlene's drug use, Roseanne just says no to Darlene's returning to school.
11:00pm #152-Sleeper
Which one of the married Conner women did David have a sexy dream about? There is a flurry of activity to figure out the "who" and the "why."
11:30pm #160-Rear Window
Gazing out the rear window, Dan is mesmerized by a spectacle. A geriatric couple with a penchant for nudity has moved in next door. And Dan’s not the only Conner getting "an eye full." After learning that D.J. also has a room with a view, Roseanne invites their new neighbors over for a friendly heart-to-heart talk. In the meantime, a jealous argument erupts between Becky and Darlene…has Becky become too friendly with David?
12:00am #161-My Name is Bev
Bev’s thrown in jail for drinking and driving, and it’s up to Roseanne and Jackie to bail her out. However, an apparent lack of judgment isn’t Bev’s only problem. In a shocking announcement, she admits that she’s an alcoholic. Is this the truth or just one of Bev’s clever manipulations?
12:30am #163-Sisters
Fred’s unhappy that D.J.’s spending all his spare time at Aunt Jackie’s house. Asked to handle the situation, Jackie’s torn between loyalties; hurting Roseanne’s feelings or abiding by her new husband’s wishes. Meanwhile, Darlene and Becky, reconciling their differences, find common ground - their mutual anger toward Roseanne.
1:00am #174-Shower People You Love With Stuff
Roseanne makes Becky and Darlene throw her a baby shower so she can return all the gifts to buy a crib.
1:30am #193-Another Mouth To Shut Up
Now that David has a job in Chicago, he and Darlene discuss living together. Then Darlene suggests maybe they should get married…since she’s pregnant! In shock, David is terrified of telling Dan and Roseanne. Although Dan is very upset, Roseanne takes the news surprisingly well. In fact, she’s got it all figured out. Darlene is going to have a baby roughly the same age as her youngest brother, and she’s marrying a boy Roseanne and Dan consider to be their "son." That makes the Conners the "white-trashiest" family in all the world!
2:00am 196-The Wedding
Darlene's wedding day brings unexpected tears, joy and tenderness as Dan is finally able to express his love to Darlene and the young couple's wedding vows bring Roseanne to tears.
2:30am #197-Heart and Soul
Dan is recovering from his heart attack in the hospital and finds out that DJ saved his life. Roseanne recreates Darlene and David's wedding reception in the hospital for Dan.
3:00am Episode #198-Fights and Stuff
In the Season finale, it’s "The Program" for Dan - diet and exercise! Roseanne helps by throwing out all the food that’s not good for them - which is practically everything in the refrigerator! And her plan of cooking light and encouraging Dan to go on long walks seems to be working, until she discovers a candy wrapper in his pocket. But confronting Dan with the truth only turns into a shouting match, ending with Roseanne leaving for Jackie’s house.
3:30am #199-Call Waiting
Despite Dan's pleas, Roseanne is not yet prepared to forgive him and end their separation.
4:00am #200-Millions From Heaven
Jackie rushes over to the Conners’ to let them know that they’ve just won the lottery prize of $108 million. Everyone is stunned, but they soon begin fantasizing about how they’ll spend the money. When they arrive at the lottery office with the ticket, their win is confirmed, but they learn that they’ll have to wait several weeks to receive the first check. The Conners are interviewed by Kathleen Sullivan and are besieged by the press. Friends call with crackpot business schemes and others contact them claiming to be long lost relatives. But Dan tells Roseanne that no matter what, they’ll still be the same two people they always were.
4:30am #205-Satan, Darling
In this Halloween episode directed by Roseanne, Jackie and Roseanne attend a glittering New York party, where they mingle with Manhattan's upper crust as well as two flashy British women (Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley of "Absolutely Fabulous"). As the evening progresses, however, Roseanne finds herself drawn into a creepy 90's version of "Rosemary's Baby."
5:00a & 5:30a #221/ #222- Into That Good Night, Parts 1 and 2
Roseanne and Dan are delighted that Darlene, David and their new daughter, Harris Conner Healy, will be staying with them. D.J. has grudgingly given up his room for them and is moving to the basement. He says he’ll have more room to work on his film projects, but reminds Roseanne he was supposed to get her writing room. The family talks about their life after winning the lottery, glad that part of their lives is over. They order out for pizza and Roseanne suggests saying grace to thank God that Harris beat the odds and that they’re all together. Everyone comes by to welcome Harris home: Bev, Leon, Scott and Nancy. They’re all pleased when Leon and Scott announce that they’ve adopted a three-year-old Romanian girl, and it’s revealed that Becky has just learned she’s pregnant but has yet to tell the family. And as the extended family gathers around the kitchen table for take-out food, Roseanne looks at each one of them and reflects.
- "Nick @ Nite John Ritter in Three's Company Tribute"
Monday, September 15
9:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. E/P
9:00PM 001 - A Man About The House - In order to convince their landlord, Mr. Roper, that there is nothing going on between them and their new male roommate, Chrissy and Janet tell him that Jack is gay.
9:30PM 003 - Roper's Niece Roper feels convinced that his niece will be safe going out with Jack, and Jack would rather be with Janet and Chrissy celebrating Janet's birthday, until he sees the niece.
10:00PM 025 - -Jack in the Flower Shop All work no play makes Jack an angry boy when Janet hires him to work for her and acts like a tough boss.
10:30PM 035 - The Fast Jack gets caught in an exasperating willpower contest with Chrissy to determine whether he can give up women for longer than she can give up food.
11:00PM 055 - Jack on the Lam Jack Tripper, a chef for all seasons, turns out to be quite a dish himself when he disguises himself as roommate Chrissy to skirt FBI agents on his trail.
11:30PM 060 - Jack the Ripper It's no more "Mr. Nice Guy" after Jack learns how to get his way with Chrissy and Janet.
12:00AM 071 - Mighty Mouth Chrissy and Janet's effort to get Jack into prime physical condition succeed beyond their wildest expectations when their voluptuous.
12:30AM 081 - Upstairs, Downstairs, Downstairs Jack finds himself in a state of panic when he juggles three gourmet dinners in three different apartments.
1:00AM 082 -...And Justice for Jack - Jack's first day behind the grill at a diner heats up hilariously when his attractive boss tries to spice up her life.
1:30AM 086 - Room at the Bottom Jack has to do a lot of double-talking when, on his first night as busboy at a posh French restaurant. The gang comes to dinner expecting him, to be the head chef.
2:00AM 096 - Teacher's Pet While teaching at his old cooking school, Jack finds himself in a stew when Dean Traver's voluptuous niece, Betty Jane, cooks up a seductive plan to win an "A".
2:30AM 102 - Honest Jack Tripper When Jack's never-ending schemes to endear himself to a beautiful women totally backfire, he decides to forego his little white lies for honesty.
3:00AM 121 - Jack's 10 Jack adopts a new image and changes his career plans to please an affluent woman who'd like to marry him.
3:30AM 135 - Jack Gets His Jack is conned into renting a small restaurant - only to discover that it's a run-down disaster.
4:00AM 155 - The Money Machine Jack receives \\$1,000 by mistake from an automated cash machine. He hides it in the couch for the weekend but when the Bank Security arrives to collect the money, it is nowhere to be found.
4:30AM 159 - Grandma Jack - Jack believes he has won a baking contest that is open only to women. Disguised as "Grandma Tripper," he goes to collect the check and learns that he is a finalist and must bake his cookies for the company's executives to win the prize.
5:00AM 169 - Jack Takes Off Jack offers to model for a beautiful art teacher and finds himself nude in front of her classroom when Furley walks in. Jack begs Furley not to tell, but the secret is out when a nude portrait of Jack appears at the Regal Beagle.
5:30AM 172 - Cupid Works Overtime Jack meets an attractive stewardess, Vicky Bradford; but between her father and her dates, she doesn't seem to have time for Jack. Janet announces her engagement to Philip, while Jack is jealous and lovesick.
- Viewer Appreciation Summer ends after Monday, August 4 airing.
- Tuesday, August 5 to Saturday, September 20 (same schedule as April 15-July 6):
9:00PM The Cosby Show (Sun-Thu)
9:30PM The Cosby Show (Sun-Thu)
10:00PM Cheers (Sun-Thu); The Cosby Show (Fri-Sat)
10:30PM Cheers (Sun-Thu); The Cosby Show (Fri-Sat)
11:00PM Three's Company
11:30PM Three's Company
12:00AM The Cosby Show
12:30AM The Cosby Show
1:00AM Wings
1:30AM Cheers
2:00AM All in the Family
2:30AM Coach
3:00AM Three's Company
3:30AM Three's Company
4:00AM Perfect Strangers
4:30AM Head of the Class
5:00AM Family Ties
5:30AM Kids Say the Darndest Things
- Sunday, September 22 to Thursday September 25 from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. will be the "Roseanne" Marathon. More info on that below.
- Friday, September 26 to Sunday, October 12 **
7 days a week, unless noted. * - means a change from the original Sept. 26 schedule
9:00PM Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (Sept. 28-Oct. 2); Three's Company (Oct. 5) (Sun-Thu)
9:30PM Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (Sept. 28-Oct. 2); Three's Company (Oct. 5) (Sun-Thu)
10:00PM The Cosby Show
10:30PM The Cosby Show
11:00PM Roseanne
11:30PM Roseanne
12:00AM The Cosby Show
12:30AM The Cosby Show
1:00AM Three's Company*
1:30AM Cheers
2:00AM Roseanne
2:30AM Roseanne
3:00AM All in the Family*
3:30AM Wings
4:00AM Three's Company*
4:30AM Cheers*
5:00AM Kids Say the Darndest Things*
5:00AM Kids Say the Darndest Things*
Starting October 12, the same schedule except 9-10PM and 5-6AM will be Full House.
So Coach, Perfect Strangers, and Family Ties are gone after September 20, since the Roseanne marathon is Sept. 21-25. Kids Say will be gone by October 12.
Notes:
- Kids Say the Darndest Things will be replaced by Full House starting Sunday, October 12 and air Sun-Thu at 9 p.m. It's basically holding the spot for Full House. Full info for October will come soon.
- Also, please note that from Monday, October 6 to Thursday, October 9 from 9 p.m. to 12 a.m. the line-up above will be pre-empted for the Full House marathon, the normal schedule will start at 12 a.m. those 4 days.
- Specials and Marathons:
"Roseanne Launch Marathon"
Sunday, September, 21 to Thursday, September 25
9:00PM to 6:00AM E/P each night
This Fall, the hit sitcom Roseanne featuring TV's infamous and irreverent 'Domestic Goddess' joins the Nick@Nite lineup. The show will launch on the network with a 5 day all night marathon of the series' most memorable episodes.
Sunday, September 21
9:00pm #9-Dan’s Birthday Bash
When Dan goes head to head with a barroom bully, Roseanne’s birthday bash for him at the Lobo Lounge is more of a disaster than a party. Roseanne, angry over Dan breaking a promise never to fight again, storms out of the bar. Dan backs down as the bar looks on. Also, Becky breathlessly awaits a dinner invitation from her new heartthrob, Chip.
9:30pm #17-Becky’s Choice
Becky finds herself in a real jam when Roseanne invites her boyfriend Chip and his parents over for an impromptu dinner party. Unbeknownst to Roseanne, Becky’s plans for the evening include another man. To make matters worse, Chip’s parents are yuppies to the max, so when they show up, the battle of the classes erupts. Becky uses this as an opportunity to sneak in some loving with her other boyfriend out behind the house. Roseanne spots what’s going on and cuts it off abruptly. This doesn’t sit well with Becky at all, and she and Roseanne almost come to blows.
10:00pm #20 Toto, We’re not in Kansas Anymore
As a tornado spins through Lanford, a storm is brewing inside the Conner house over the whereabouts of Jackie who hasn't returned from her trip to the market.
10:30pm #21-Death and Stuff
Amid the hubbub of the family’s weekend activities, including Dan trying to repair the refrigerator, a door-to-door salesman drops by - and then drops dead in the Conner kitchen.
11:00pm #24-Inherit the Wind
Roseanne tries her hand at telephone solicitation while trying to console Becky who had an embarrassing accident in front of the school council.
11:30pm #28-House of Grown-ups
After a lonely architect who works with Dan has dinner at the Conners', he attempts to buy their friendship.
12:00am #29-Five of a Kind
A kiss is just a kiss, but it could mean trouble when the kisser is Dan's buddy Arnie, and the kiss is Roseanne.
12:30am #34-Lobocop
Roseanne and Dan realize they are drifting apart after she takes a second job working nights at the Lobo Lounge. They’re both confused about the situation, and each of them turns to their best friend for advice. Dan gets an earful from his friend, Andy, and Roseanne leans on her little sister, Jackie. After some careful thought and some tears, Dan decides that he and the kids need Roseanne, so he dresses up in a leather jacket and slicked back hair and heads to the Lobo Lounge to try to win back his wife.
1:00am #36-Chicken Hearts
Roseanne finds it difficult to treat her new boss at Chicken Divine with any respect - he’s a spiteful, unpleasant 17- year-old. But trying to improve relations and hopefully get off the weekend shift, Roseanne invites him over for dinner with the family. She then tries to win him over by having Dan complete an auto class project for him. Dan sees this as a golden opportunity to influence Roseanne’s boss. Instead of helping, the whole thing backfires, and Roseanne losses her job, but not without giving her boss a final send off.
1:30am #37-One for the Road
When the parents are away, Becky and her friend Dana play--with a little help from the liquor cabinet.
2:00am #38-An Officer and a Gentleman
When Roseanne is called away, Jackie impresses Dan and the kids with her homemaking skills.
2:30am #39-Born to be Wild
Roseanne and Dan get a blast from the blast when old pal Ziggy cruises into Lanford on a motorcycle, prompting the Conners to resurrect their old bike.
3:00am #40-Hair
Roseanne applies for a job at a beauty salon doing the same domestic chores that she does at home.
3:30am #44-Fender Bender
Roseanne gets into a car crash with Mrs. Wellman, her former employer. After a visit to the hospital, Roseanne comes home to spend a few agonizing days recuperating. Seeing this as an excellent opportunity to get some cash out of Mrs. Wellman, Dan calls on a favor from a lawyer friend of his. This lawyer turns out to be a complete loser, and pretty much tells Dan and Roseanne they don’t stand a chance in court, especially with him as their attorney. Angered by Mrs. Wellman’s lack of concern, Jackie confronts her at the beauty shop and throws a little scare into her. Later, Mrs. Wellman shows up at Roseanne’s door with a check. Roseanne takes this as an insult and threatens to sue Mrs. Wellman. After careful reconsideration and several drops of sweat, Roseanne decides to accept the check and let "bygones be bygones."
4:00am #49-Friends and Relatives
Dan’s sizable loan to his best friend, Arnie, doesn’t sit well with Rosey when she finds out he used the money to buy a breast job for his fiancée. Shortly after that, Dan loses out on a big job, which puts the whole family in debt. Dan, afraid to ask Arnie for the money back, is forced to ask Jackie for a loan. Jackie gives it to him, but not without making him grovel for it.
4:30am #54-Trick or Treat
It’s Halloween, and Roseanne is going to a costume party at the Lobo Lounge. When she shows up dressed as a bearded lumberjack, she is totally convincing, and decides to keep up the charade.
5:00am #55-PMS, I Love You
Dan wants out when the PMS monster visits Roseanne, who's trying to plan a surprise party for her husband.
5:30am #56-Bird is the Word
Becky suddenly becomes one of the coolest kids at school and at home, when she’s caught making a rude hand gesture in her class picture. But opinions change quickly when Roseanne gets summoned to the principal’s office - for detention!
Monday, September 22
9:00pm #57-Dream Lover
Dan talks in his sleep, and Roseanne gets suspicious when his sweet dreams turn into nocturnal affairs. Dan, knowing that Roseanne is onto his dream lover, confesses who she is and says it’s just a "dream." Roseanne, fearing the worst, goes out in search of the dream girl and finds her. Soon after that Dan finds himself in the dog house and occupying the couch. He drifts from dream to dream, each one more risqué than the other. Finally, Dan and Roseanne have a heart to heart and share each other’s fantasies.
9:30pm #59-Confessions
During a visit from her mom, Roseanne realizes that her mother considers her to be mearly ordinary.
10:00pm #60-The Courtship of Eddie, Dan’s Father (1)
Dan's dad visits; Roseanne plays matchmaker for a customer and Crystal. Part one of two.
10:30pm #61-The Wedding (2)
Roseanne dives into wedding preparations, while Dan continues to give his father the silent treatment. Part two of two.
11:00pm #64-Valentine’s Day
It’s Valentine’s Day and Cupid’s arrows go astray at the Conner house. Roseanne is mad at Dan for forgetting what day it is, and Darlene’s heart is broken when a boy she likes asks Becky to the school dance.
11:30pm #67 Her Boyfriend’s Back
Mark and Becky take Dan's prized motorcycle out for a spin; Becky becomes a discipline problem at home.
12:00am #69 Second Time Around
The Conners anticipate a baby boom as Roseanne helps Crystal get ready for her childbirth classes. Also Dan has a near-miss accident at work that causes a worried D.J. to follow Dan wherever he goes.
12:30am #71 Scenes From A Barbecue
Dan revises his will after his life flashes before him during an accident at a portable construction-site toilet; Roseanne helps Crystal with her Lamaze classes.
1:00am #73-A Bitter Pill to Swallow
Roseanne is confronted by a daunting proposition: Becky wants to start using birth control pills. A stunned Roseanne pulls herself together - and agrees to take Becky to the doctor. Secretly, Roseanne hopes her calm attitude will convince Becky to change her mind. Meanwhile, Dan keeps a close watch on Becky’s boyfriend, Mark, by giving him a job fixing motorcycles.
1:30am #75-Why Jackie Becomes a Trucker
Depressed over seeing her old boyfriend, Gary, with his new fiancée, Jackie is driven into the arms of another man.
2:00am #76-Darlene Fades to Black
The usually spunky Darlene, who may have a case of the high school freshman blues, rebels against parental expectations. All she wants is to be left alone in her room. Meanwhile, Becky wants a motorcycle, but she tells Dan and Roseanne she’ll settle for a car.
2:30am #82-Thanksgiving 1991
Once again, Roseanne hosts the ultimate day in anxiety for the extended family - Thanksgiving. Her mother says her father is sick, and won’t be coming for dinner, but Jackie and Roseanne don’t believe her. They beg her to tell them the truth, and when she does, they get the shock of their lives.
3:00am #79-Vegas (1)
Roseanne and Dan join Nancy and Arnie when they decide to marry in Vegas. Part 1 of two.
3:30am #80-Vegas, Vegas (2)
Roseanne and Dan join Nancy and Arnie when they decide to marry in Vegas. Part 1 of two.
4:00am #83-Kansas City, Here We Come
Roseanne and Jackie pay a visit to their dad's "other woman" in Kansas City. Dan finds new respect for Mark after he physically confront's Becky's new boss.
4:30am #88-Less is More
A doctor recommends that Roseanne undergo surgery for her back problems. Dr Doogie Howser (Neil Patrick Harris) has a cameo.
5:00am #91-The Commercial Show
Roseanne tries to convince Leon, her boss at Rodbell’s Coffee Shop, that she and her family are perfect to star in a new TV commercial for the coffee shop. Meanwhile, D.J. is upset when he discovers his friend from next door is moving back to Chicago.
5:30am #97-Aliens
Roseanne struggles to keep the household intact while looking for a new job. Meanwhile, business is slow at Dan’s motorcycle shop and Becky blows up when the family’s economic woes put her college plans on hold. D.J., however, manages to pull everyone together with an unexpected scholastic performance.
Tuesday, September 23
9:00pm #98 Terms of Estrangement, Part 1
Roseanne and Dan try to keep laughing so they won’t start crying as their motorcycle shop goes out of business. Meanwhile, Becky’s boyfriend Mark is offered a fabulous job in another state, so they decide to elope.
9:30pm #99 Terms of Estrangement, Part 2
Roseanne tries to lift Dan’s spirits when he feels like a failure over the loss of his motorcycle shop. Also, Becky and Mark return from their elopement to face a bitter Dan and Roseanne.
10:00pm #100 -The Dark Ages
In the dark after their power is turned off for nonpayment, Roseanne and Dan must look at Darlene in a new light after David spends the night in her room.
10:30pm #101 -Mommy Nearest
Roseanne and Jackie’s mother comes to town with shocking news. She’s moving to Lanford! To ease the blow, she’s giving her children thousands of dollars. Also, Jackie begins dating a much younger man.
11:00pm #102 -Pretty in Black
It’s Darlene’s sweet sixteen and Roseanne plans a nightmarish surprise party. In a futile attempt at revenge, Darlene dyes her hair jet black. Meanwhile, Roseanne entertains the notion of investing in Jackie’s business idea.
11:30pm #103 -Looking For Loans In All The Wrong Places
Roseanne and Jackie have trouble securing a bank loan for the business, and their worst nightmare becomes a reality -they must turn to their mother for help. Mom agrees under one condition; she wants to be a partner!
12:00am #104 -Halloween IV
Roseanne refuses to take part in the Halloween festivities. In a hilarious take-off of A Christmas Carol, Lanford’s "Goddess of Gore" (Roseanne) is visited by the ghosts of Halloween past, present and future, who reflect on her old Halloween antics in an attempt to change her mind.
12:30am #105 -Ladies’ Choice
Roseanne begins to feel her age when her mom moves into a retirement home. Meanwhile, Nancy drops a bombshell on Roseanne and Jackie by confessing to her relationship with another woman. Special guest star Morgan Fairchild.
1:00am #107 -Good Girls, Bad Girls
Darlene attends a rock concert with Molly, but is left to find her own way home when Molly meets a boy. Dan and Roseanne are worried sick when Darlene returns home hours late with an excuse they don’t believe.
1:30am #106-Stand On Your Man
Arnie returns to Lanford in a vain attempt to win back Nancy. Roseanne feels she must tell him Nancy is gay. When a stranger threatens Roseanne at The Lunch Box, Jackie insists that she, Roseanne and Nancy enroll in a self-defense class.
2:00am #109 -No Place Like Home For The Holidays
A Christmas Eve snowstorm traps Roseanne and Jackie and the Lunch Box with Bev and Nana Mary. Meanwhile, Darlene is stuck at David's house and gets an insight into his homelife.
2:30am #112 -Lanford Daze
The Lanford Days Celebration will surely be a day to remember. D.J. is preparing for a school play, Dan tries his hand at selling hot tubs, and Darlene is demonstrating her animal rights stance by lashing out against Roseanne’s business. Country singer Loretta Lynn guest stars.
3:00am #110 -Crime and Punishment, Part 1
is summoned to D.J.’s principal’s office when D.J. is caught with obscene reading materials - which he got from Darlene! Meanwhile, Roseanne learns a shocking secret when she presses Jackie about spending all her time with Fisher.
3:30am #111-War and Peace, Part 2
Conclusion. Dan returns home to rampant rumors about his behavior, while Roseanne helps a dazed Jackie move.
4:00am #113 -Wail ‘Til Your Father Gets Home
Emotions run the gamut from grief to relief when Roseanne’s father dies. As the family members cope in their own way, it’s up to Roseanne to make arrangements, comfort Jackie, confront her father’s mistress and come to grips with her troubled childhood.
4:30am #114 -First Cousin, Twice Removed
Roseanne’s rich and snooty cousin, Ronnie, makes an unannounced visit to Lanford. She reignites a long-simmering feud with Roseanne when she advises Darlene to leave home to pursue her dreams. Joan Collins guest stars.
5:00am #116-It’s a Boy
Darlene wants her boyfriend, David, to move in with the Conners. Roseanne is against the idea until she sees what David’s home life is like. Now she has to convince Dan to let him stay.
5:30am #117 -It Was Twenty Years Ago Today
For their anniversary, Roseanne poses in a sexy photo for Dan, while he moonlights to pay for his present for her.
Wednesday, September 24
9:00pm #118-Playing With Matches
Roseanne’s mom makes a new friend, Jake, at the retirement home. Now, Roseanne’s playing Cupid and Jackie’s planning their wedding. With special guest Red Buttons.
9:30pm #121 -Tooth OR Consequences
Darlene must choose between David and her future when she gets accepted to a college for the arts in Chicago. Meanwhile, Dan accidentally knocks Roseanne’s tooth out the day she has to meet with the health inspector - who turns out to be her old boss, Leon! Guest star Martin Mull.
10:00pm #122 -Daughters and Other Strangers
Dan and Roseanne decide to let Darlene go to art school in Chicago, but will Darlene leave David to pursue her future? Meanwhile, at a birthday party, "Seven Minutes In Heaven" turns D.J. into a new man.
10:30pm #123-Two Down, One to Go
Roseanne is suffering from empty-nest syndrome as Darlene settles into her college dorm, where they have a revealing mother-daughter chat, and Roseanne returns home with a plan.
11:00pm #124-The Mommy’s Curse
Brutally honest Roseanne suffers the consequences after telling Bev that she's had her fill of her at the Lunch Box. Meanwhile, Jackie jumps back into the dating arena.
11:30pm #125-Party Politics
Roseanne suspects that D.J. is "up to something" and grills Darlene for information. To her horror, she sees that the two are teaming up against her! Meanwhile, Fred manages to finagle an invitation to Jackie’s housewarming party in hopes of convincing her to come back to him.
12:00am #126-A Stash From The Past
The discovery of a mysterious cache of marijuana in the Conner household sparks a smoky chain of events -- leading Roseanne and Dan to the humorous realization that their days of "rebellious youth" are over.
12:30am #127-Be My Baby
Roseanne wants another baby. But to everyone’s surprise, Jackie breaks the news about being in the "family way" -sending Roseanne into a swirl of activity preparing for Jackie’s maternity.
1:00am #129-Homeward Bound
When Darlene surprises everyone with an unannounced visit home from college, David moves out of the Conner household to supposedly make a life with his estranged mother. He actually ends up secretly moving in with Darlene at school. Meanwhile, D.J. enters the experiences of puberty.
1:30am #133-The Drivers Seat
It’s a balancing act for Roseanne when D.J. is caught stealing the family automobile and, at the same time, Leon tries to take control of the diner. Roseanne has her hands full as she is torn between her responsibilities to D.J. while also fighting for the business.
2:00am #134-White Trash Christmas I
Christmastime brings Darlene a surprise visit from Bev and DJ, Becky a demeaning waitress job requiring a sexy outfit, and the Conners a community edict regulating outdoor decorations, which prompts Roseanne to plot something really tacky.
2:30am #135-White Trash Christmas II (Suck Up or Shut Up)
Christmastime brings Darlene a surprise visit from Bev and DJ, Becky a demeaning waitress job requiring a sexy outfit, and the Conners a community edict regulating outdoor decorations, which prompts Roseanne to plot something really tacky.
3:00am #136-Busted
On the homefront, Becky and Mark are feuding and Dan does his best to help them to reconcile their relationship. Meanwhile, when Roseanne learns that David and Darlene are living together at college in Chicago, she hits the highway in a fury.
3:30am #137-David vs. Goliath
David confesses the truth about Darlene to Dan and gets kicked out of the house. Then he misinterprets Jackie's motives when he moves in with her.
4:00am #138-Everyone Comes to Jackie’s
Darlene has been lying about her relationship with David and returns home from college to come clean and "face the music" with Roseanne and Dan. On the other end, Roseanne petitions Dan to allow David to move back into the house with them.
4:30am #139-Don’t Make Room For Daddy
Roseanne finds herself in the midst of a huge family squabble when Fred decides to take Dan’s advice and sue pregnant Jackie for custody of the unborn child.
5:00am #140-Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Roseanne is the life of the party at a gay bar, until Nancy's girlfriend plants a kiss on her. Meanwhile, back home, Becky's old flame gives Mark reason to distrust Becky.
5:30am #141-Labor Day
The usual symptoms - panic, pain and incredible joy - announce the imminent arrival of Jackie’s child. Even though Fred is the father, Roseanne struggles to limit his participation in the process.
Thursday, September 25
9:00pm #144- I Pray The Lord My Stove To Keep
When Roseanne accepts delivery of too many new stoves for her diner, young D.J., who has found religion, begins spouting words of conscience and surprises Roseanne with some serious ethical questions.
9:30pm #145-Body By Jake
When Bev breaks her pelvis in the retirement home, Roseanne and Dan are shocked to find out how it happened. As a result, Bev is forced to move in with them rather than die of embarrassment in the retirement community.
10:00pm #146-Isn’t Romantic
Romance is in the air and Cupid is shooting arrows at the Conner household. While Fred seeks advice from Roseanne on how to propose marriage to Jackie, Dan and Roseanne are rekindling their romance with inspiration from the soap opera, "One Life to Live."
10:30pm #150-Snoop Davy Dave
After a jilted David tattles to Roseanne about Darlene's drug use, Roseanne just says no to Darlene's returning to school.
11:00pm #152-Sleeper
Which one of the married Conner women did David have a sexy dream about? There is a flurry of activity to figure out the "who" and the "why."
11:30pm #160-Rear Window
Gazing out the rear window, Dan is mesmerized by a spectacle. A geriatric couple with a penchant for nudity has moved in next door. And Dan’s not the only Conner getting "an eye full." After learning that D.J. also has a room with a view, Roseanne invites their new neighbors over for a friendly heart-to-heart talk. In the meantime, a jealous argument erupts between Becky and Darlene…has Becky become too friendly with David?
12:00am #161-My Name is Bev
Bev’s thrown in jail for drinking and driving, and it’s up to Roseanne and Jackie to bail her out. However, an apparent lack of judgment isn’t Bev’s only problem. In a shocking announcement, she admits that she’s an alcoholic. Is this the truth or just one of Bev’s clever manipulations?
12:30am #163-Sisters
Fred’s unhappy that D.J.’s spending all his spare time at Aunt Jackie’s house. Asked to handle the situation, Jackie’s torn between loyalties; hurting Roseanne’s feelings or abiding by her new husband’s wishes. Meanwhile, Darlene and Becky, reconciling their differences, find common ground - their mutual anger toward Roseanne.
1:00am #174-Shower People You Love With Stuff
Roseanne makes Becky and Darlene throw her a baby shower so she can return all the gifts to buy a crib.
1:30am #193-Another Mouth To Shut Up
Now that David has a job in Chicago, he and Darlene discuss living together. Then Darlene suggests maybe they should get married…since she’s pregnant! In shock, David is terrified of telling Dan and Roseanne. Although Dan is very upset, Roseanne takes the news surprisingly well. In fact, she’s got it all figured out. Darlene is going to have a baby roughly the same age as her youngest brother, and she’s marrying a boy Roseanne and Dan consider to be their "son." That makes the Conners the "white-trashiest" family in all the world!
2:00am 196-The Wedding
Darlene's wedding day brings unexpected tears, joy and tenderness as Dan is finally able to express his love to Darlene and the young couple's wedding vows bring Roseanne to tears.
2:30am #197-Heart and Soul
Dan is recovering from his heart attack in the hospital and finds out that DJ saved his life. Roseanne recreates Darlene and David's wedding reception in the hospital for Dan.
3:00am Episode #198-Fights and Stuff
In the Season finale, it’s "The Program" for Dan - diet and exercise! Roseanne helps by throwing out all the food that’s not good for them - which is practically everything in the refrigerator! And her plan of cooking light and encouraging Dan to go on long walks seems to be working, until she discovers a candy wrapper in his pocket. But confronting Dan with the truth only turns into a shouting match, ending with Roseanne leaving for Jackie’s house.
3:30am #199-Call Waiting
Despite Dan's pleas, Roseanne is not yet prepared to forgive him and end their separation.
4:00am #200-Millions From Heaven
Jackie rushes over to the Conners’ to let them know that they’ve just won the lottery prize of $108 million. Everyone is stunned, but they soon begin fantasizing about how they’ll spend the money. When they arrive at the lottery office with the ticket, their win is confirmed, but they learn that they’ll have to wait several weeks to receive the first check. The Conners are interviewed by Kathleen Sullivan and are besieged by the press. Friends call with crackpot business schemes and others contact them claiming to be long lost relatives. But Dan tells Roseanne that no matter what, they’ll still be the same two people they always were.
4:30am #205-Satan, Darling
In this Halloween episode directed by Roseanne, Jackie and Roseanne attend a glittering New York party, where they mingle with Manhattan's upper crust as well as two flashy British women (Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley of "Absolutely Fabulous"). As the evening progresses, however, Roseanne finds herself drawn into a creepy 90's version of "Rosemary's Baby."
5:00a & 5:30a #221/ #222- Into That Good Night, Parts 1 and 2
Roseanne and Dan are delighted that Darlene, David and their new daughter, Harris Conner Healy, will be staying with them. D.J. has grudgingly given up his room for them and is moving to the basement. He says he’ll have more room to work on his film projects, but reminds Roseanne he was supposed to get her writing room. The family talks about their life after winning the lottery, glad that part of their lives is over. They order out for pizza and Roseanne suggests saying grace to thank God that Harris beat the odds and that they’re all together. Everyone comes by to welcome Harris home: Bev, Leon, Scott and Nancy. They’re all pleased when Leon and Scott announce that they’ve adopted a three-year-old Romanian girl, and it’s revealed that Becky has just learned she’s pregnant but has yet to tell the family. And as the extended family gathers around the kitchen table for take-out food, Roseanne looks at each one of them and reflects.
- "Nick @ Nite John Ritter in Three's Company Tribute"
Monday, September 15
9:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. E/P
9:00PM 001 - A Man About The House - In order to convince their landlord, Mr. Roper, that there is nothing going on between them and their new male roommate, Chrissy and Janet tell him that Jack is gay.
9:30PM 003 - Roper's Niece Roper feels convinced that his niece will be safe going out with Jack, and Jack would rather be with Janet and Chrissy celebrating Janet's birthday, until he sees the niece.
10:00PM 025 - -Jack in the Flower Shop All work no play makes Jack an angry boy when Janet hires him to work for her and acts like a tough boss.
10:30PM 035 - The Fast Jack gets caught in an exasperating willpower contest with Chrissy to determine whether he can give up women for longer than she can give up food.
11:00PM 055 - Jack on the Lam Jack Tripper, a chef for all seasons, turns out to be quite a dish himself when he disguises himself as roommate Chrissy to skirt FBI agents on his trail.
11:30PM 060 - Jack the Ripper It's no more "Mr. Nice Guy" after Jack learns how to get his way with Chrissy and Janet.
12:00AM 071 - Mighty Mouth Chrissy and Janet's effort to get Jack into prime physical condition succeed beyond their wildest expectations when their voluptuous.
12:30AM 081 - Upstairs, Downstairs, Downstairs Jack finds himself in a state of panic when he juggles three gourmet dinners in three different apartments.
1:00AM 082 -...And Justice for Jack - Jack's first day behind the grill at a diner heats up hilariously when his attractive boss tries to spice up her life.
1:30AM 086 - Room at the Bottom Jack has to do a lot of double-talking when, on his first night as busboy at a posh French restaurant. The gang comes to dinner expecting him, to be the head chef.
2:00AM 096 - Teacher's Pet While teaching at his old cooking school, Jack finds himself in a stew when Dean Traver's voluptuous niece, Betty Jane, cooks up a seductive plan to win an "A".
2:30AM 102 - Honest Jack Tripper When Jack's never-ending schemes to endear himself to a beautiful women totally backfire, he decides to forego his little white lies for honesty.
3:00AM 121 - Jack's 10 Jack adopts a new image and changes his career plans to please an affluent woman who'd like to marry him.
3:30AM 135 - Jack Gets His Jack is conned into renting a small restaurant - only to discover that it's a run-down disaster.
4:00AM 155 - The Money Machine Jack receives \\$1,000 by mistake from an automated cash machine. He hides it in the couch for the weekend but when the Bank Security arrives to collect the money, it is nowhere to be found.
4:30AM 159 - Grandma Jack - Jack believes he has won a baking contest that is open only to women. Disguised as "Grandma Tripper," he goes to collect the check and learns that he is a finalist and must bake his cookies for the company's executives to win the prize.
5:00AM 169 - Jack Takes Off Jack offers to model for a beautiful art teacher and finds himself nude in front of her classroom when Furley walks in. Jack begs Furley not to tell, but the secret is out when a nude portrait of Jack appears at the Regal Beagle.
5:30AM 172 - Cupid Works Overtime Jack meets an attractive stewardess, Vicky Bradford; but between her father and her dates, she doesn't seem to have time for Jack. Janet announces her engagement to Philip, while Jack is jealous and lovesick.