TJL
12-30-2002, 09:49 PM
Welcome back to the 95th Annual Hawkeye awards, honoring the best and brightest of 2002.
TJL here! I’m dutifully counting the votes, tabulating the stats, and bestowing upon whoever I damn well please the coveted Benjamin Franklin Pierce Trophy of Excellence.
This gorgeous statuette, nicknamed the “Hawkeye,” is painstakingly handcrafted out of delicious Belgian chocolate and wrapped in the finest gold plated aluminum foil money can buy. What better way to honor so many deserving recipients, whose shortcomings and mishaps have provided us with so much joy this year!
And now, if I can take it down a bit, I would like to announce that we have reached the final award of the night. The Hawkeye for Person Of The Year…
There have been so many intriguing people in the headlines this year folks. Presidents, world leaders, disgraced business executives, that chick who starred in that movie about that big fat Greek wedding… so many movers and shakers, all who have been eclipsed by this one superstar…
A woman never met a man she hasn’t married, a woman who has walked down more aisles than a floor sweeper at K-Mart, a talented singer, dancer, and actress who always looks stunning in a wedding gown, ladies and gentlemen, the Hawkeye for Person Of The Year goes to a gal who gave more than “Enough,” who truly is “Maid In Manhattan,” who may be “J to the Lo,” but she will always be my “Jenny From the Block,”
Take a bow Jennifer Lopez!
Well, that’s it for the 2002 Hawkeye Awards!
I would like to thank my guests Ray Romano, William Shatner, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Wayne Brady, musical guest Shakira, and as always the Sitcoms Online Orchestra. From the beautiful Hunka Bunka Ballroom in Sayreville New Jersey, this is TJL saying good night, and Buh-bye!
;)
TJL here! I’m dutifully counting the votes, tabulating the stats, and bestowing upon whoever I damn well please the coveted Benjamin Franklin Pierce Trophy of Excellence.
This gorgeous statuette, nicknamed the “Hawkeye,” is painstakingly handcrafted out of delicious Belgian chocolate and wrapped in the finest gold plated aluminum foil money can buy. What better way to honor so many deserving recipients, whose shortcomings and mishaps have provided us with so much joy this year!
And now, if I can take it down a bit, I would like to announce that we have reached the final award of the night. The Hawkeye for Person Of The Year…
There have been so many intriguing people in the headlines this year folks. Presidents, world leaders, disgraced business executives, that chick who starred in that movie about that big fat Greek wedding… so many movers and shakers, all who have been eclipsed by this one superstar…
A woman never met a man she hasn’t married, a woman who has walked down more aisles than a floor sweeper at K-Mart, a talented singer, dancer, and actress who always looks stunning in a wedding gown, ladies and gentlemen, the Hawkeye for Person Of The Year goes to a gal who gave more than “Enough,” who truly is “Maid In Manhattan,” who may be “J to the Lo,” but she will always be my “Jenny From the Block,”
Take a bow Jennifer Lopez!
Well, that’s it for the 2002 Hawkeye Awards!
I would like to thank my guests Ray Romano, William Shatner, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Wayne Brady, musical guest Shakira, and as always the Sitcoms Online Orchestra. From the beautiful Hunka Bunka Ballroom in Sayreville New Jersey, this is TJL saying good night, and Buh-bye!
;)