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AtlantaBravesFan29
11-13-2002, 10:52 AM
Do you have any favorite Sanford and Son Quotes???
Here are some!!!


Mrs. Eckerd: Just what this place needs new blood
(Fred Makes A Face Like Hers)
Mrs. Eckerd: You know we're fully integrated here!!
Fred: I know you're fully something!!!
Mrs. Eckerd: And what have we in our bag???
Fred: I don't know what we have in our bag, I know what I have in MY bag!!!
Mrs. Eckerd: I mean, is it full of clothes and miscellaneous???
Fred: No, it's full of wine bottles and a cockscrew, didn't my son tell you I'm a wino!!!


Esther: I just came over here to bring Lamont some of my homemade preserves!! Now where do you want me to put them???
(Fred Gives Esther A Look)
Esther: Watch It!!!!!


Fred: I don't know where you're going,but I know where she's(Aunt Esther) going!!!
Esther: Gladly, I've had stomach cramps that I've enjoyed better than you!! I don't know why I stay in this house!!!:lol: :lol:

DarleneIllyria
11-13-2002, 07:54 PM
lol

I think my fave. quote is from the will episode. The whole episode is just hilarious to me. Fred is causing a commotion on the plane and he yells at the guy staring at him, "What the hell's wrong with you? Ain't you never seen a man having a heart attack before?" It went something like that. I die laughing everytime I hear it. lol

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-14-2002, 10:16 AM
Me too!!!:) That's also one of my favorite episodes as well,where Fred has a whole bunch of jewelry to ward off bad luck and he makes up all kinds of excuses and everything and when they get to St. Louis they end up getting almost nothing except for the money for the plane trip back!!!

Here's some quotes from that episode!!!

Lamont: You have never been on a plane before
Fred: Or a plane crash either
Lamont: And you're 66 years old
Fred: And I'm going to live to be 67


Fred(On The Plane Talking To The Man Smoking): Hey, Man, do you see that sign that says "No Smoking",put your cigarette out???
Man(He's Taller Than Fred Showing Him Standing Up): You talking to me???
Fred: No No No!!(Talks To Other Guy Next To Him): Hey, Man,do you see that sign that says "No Smoking"??? You're a good guy, Moose!!!


Fred: I want an emergency window and an oxygen mask(Asks Lamont If He Wants One),make that two emergency windows and oxygen masks!!!

Lamont: There's a lot of good food on here like Lobster Cantonese, Chicken,a lot of good stuff!!
Fred: Then I won't be needing these chicken wings
Lamont: What did you bring them for???
Fred: They probably need some in the back!!(Lamont begs Fred not to yell)!!! Anybody here want some chicken wings??? Chicken wings,fool!!!

Lamont: You're disrupting this plane with your silly antics
Fred: I'm gonna put up your(engine makes lots of noise)...
:lol: :lol: :lol:

DarleneIllyria
11-14-2002, 01:47 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Me too!!!:) That's also one of my favorite episodes as well,where Fred has a whole bunch of jewelry to ward off bad luck and he makes up all kinds of excuses and everything and when they get to St. Louis they end up getting almost nothing except for the money for the plane trip back!!!

Here's some quotes from that episode!!!

Lamont: You have never been on a plane before
Fred: Or a plane crash either
Lamont: And you're 66 years old
Fred: And I'm going to live to be 67


Fred(On The Plane Talking To The Man Smoking): Hey, Man, do you see that sign that says "No Smoking",put your cigarette out???
Man(He's Taller Than Fred Showing Him Standing Up): You talking to me???
Fred: No No No!!(Talks To Other Guy Next To Him): Hey, Man,do you see that sign that says "No Smoking"??? You're a good guy, Moose!!!


Fred: I want an emergency window and an oxygen mask(Asks Lamont If He Wants One),make that two emergency windows and oxygen masks!!!

Lamont: There's a lot of good food on here like Lobster Cantonese, Chicken,a lot of good stuff!!
Fred: Then I won't be needing these chicken wings
Lamont: What did you bring them for???
Fred: They probably need some in the back!!(Lamont begs Fred not to yell)!!! Anybody here want some chicken wings??? Chicken wings,fool!!!

Lamont: You're disrupting this plane with your silly antics
Fred: I'm gonna put up your(engine makes lots of noise)...
:lol: :lol: :lol:

:roflmao: I love all those quotes. My favorite one that you listed above has to be the chicken wing quote. :lol:

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-14-2002, 03:42 PM
Here's another funny quote that Lamont used a lot in the early years


Lamont(Talking To Fred): You know,you're a dirty old man!!
Fred: And I'll be one till I'm a dead old man:lol: :lol: :lol:

DarleneIllyria
11-14-2002, 04:54 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Here's another funny quote that Lamont used a lot in the early years


Lamont(Talking To Fred): You know,you're a dirty old man!!
Fred: And I'll be one till I'm a dead old man:lol: :lol: :lol:

lol! I love that one too.

TVFactFan
11-14-2002, 08:15 PM
Originally posted by Jenny


lol! I love that one too.

Here is my favorite quote.

Grady: Fred I think I'm in love

Fred: How can you be sure Grady?

Grday: Fred I have this warm feeling around my heart

Fred: Grady that ain't love, that's GAS!-


LOL LOL I love this quote.

DarleneIllyria
11-14-2002, 08:47 PM
Originally posted by SOLOMON


Here is my favorite quote.

Grady: Fred I think I'm in love

Fred: How can you be sure Grady?

Grday: Fred I have this warm feeling around my heart

Fred: Grady that ain't love, that's GAS!-


LOL LOL I love this quote.

roflmao

I really need to get out my S & S tapes so I can watch them again. I can't even remember some of the quotes I liked. I'm enjoying reading the ones everybody else posts though. :)

TVFactFan
11-14-2002, 09:00 PM
Originally posted by Jenny


roflmao

I really need to get out my S & S tapes so I can watch them again. I can't even remember some of the quotes I liked. I'm enjoying reading the ones everybody else posts though. :)


Here is a quote from Fred on the spinoff "Sanford"-with Fred and the Heavy guy Cal trying to lose weight

Cal: Fred I need some grease, I need the some salt i can't take it ANYMORE!!

Fred: You know that saying you sure are beautiful when you get mad?

Cal: YEAH What About it?

Fred: That ain't go nothing to do with you

I think i may watch this episode tonight-LOL

DarleneIllyria
11-14-2002, 09:48 PM
Originally posted by SOLOMON



Here is a quote from Fred on the spinoff "Sanford"-with Fred and the Heavy guy Cal trying to lose weight

Cal: Fred I need some grease, I need the some salt i can't take it ANYMORE!!

Fred: You know that saying you sure are beautiful when you get mad?

Cal: YEAH What About it?

Fred: That ain't go nothing to do with you

I think i may watch this episode tonight-LOL

lol

Thanks for posting the quote Solomon. I've never seen the Sanford spinoff. You think that show will ever get on TVL?

TVFactFan
11-14-2002, 09:56 PM
Originally posted by Jenny


lol

Thanks for posting the quote Solomon. I've never seen the Sanford spinoff. You think that show will ever get on TVL?

It's a poosibilty it may be on TV LAND but not N@N or TBS. Most of the episodes I have are from BET which was shown in the early 90's.

DarleneIllyria
11-14-2002, 10:18 PM
Originally posted by SOLOMON


It's a poosibilty it may be on TV LAND but not N@N or TBS. Most of the episodes I have are from BET which was shown in the early 90's.

I see what you meant about N @ N and TBS. TBS seems to be acquiring the new shows that are still on the air and N @ N seems to be getting TBS' hand me downs. So I guess whatever shows up on TBS, we can expect to see on N @ N in the future. Ugh....

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-15-2002, 11:08 AM
Here's some more quotes I have thought of:

This one comes from the episode where Fred meets Lena Horne!!!


Fred: You know I betcha you never guess who I met at the TV Station!!
Lamont: Johnny Carson
Fred: No No!! A she,the first lady of my dreams!!!
Lamont: Pat Nixon
Fred: No, if you're going to be kidding around,I'll tell you, I met Lena Horne
Lamont: You met Lena Horne,Pop,have you been in the apple jack again??
Fred: No, not only that, she's coming here tonight
Lamont: What did you say???
Fred: She's coming here tonight,you don't believe me,do you???
Lamont: Oh, I believe you, she's coming here accompanied by Duke Ellington's band, the Jackson Five,and Chubby Checker,"Hi, Remember Me"(Lamont does his imitation of the Twist)!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

TVFactFan
11-15-2002, 05:38 PM
Originally posted by Jenny


I see what you meant about N @ N and TBS. TBS seems to be acquiring the new shows that are still on the air and N @ N seems to be getting TBS' hand me downs. So I guess whatever shows up on TBS, we can expect to see on N @ N in the future. Ugh....

Here is another Classic Fred Sanford quote from Sanford.

Aunt Esther: Get the marriage license Fred because seeing is believing

Fred: No it ain't

Aunt Esther: Why you say that?

Fred: Because I have been seeing you for years and I still don't believe it


LOL LOL

DarleneIllyria
11-15-2002, 07:15 PM
Originally posted by SOLOMON


Here is another Classic Fred Sanford quote from Sanford.

Aunt Esther: Get the marriage license Fred because seeing is believing

Fred: No it ain't

Aunt Esther: Why you say that?

Fred: Because I have been seeing you for years and I still don't believe it


LOL LOL

lol

Fred and Aunt Esther had excellent chemistry together. Fred had the best insults for Esther and Esther always had the best comebacks. lol

bwalton
11-19-2002, 10:37 AM
All of my favorite quotes come from Fred's return from St. Louis episode (contract dispute). Lamont and the gang throws a surprise party for Fred.

Hachu (sp?): Surprise Fred!
Fred : Yea, like Pearl Harbor.

Rollo: Hey pops, what it is!?
Fred: ASk yo momma what it is! I bet she don't even know.
Rollo: Come on pops, cheers!
Fred: Is that what you want? Yippee yippee yae yae. Look who got out of jail today! What some more? Bim Bam Boom. Somebody get this ***** outta my room.

(while speaking to Donna and Esther)
Fred: Lookie here, this like my two favorite characters out of a fairy tale, Beauty and the Beast!


Fred later is handing out gifts and hands Esther hers
Esther: This is just a clear piece of plastic.
Fred: Naw it aint. Hold it up to your face. (She does) That's your Halloween mask!


:lol: :crazy: :lol:

DarleneIllyria
11-19-2002, 03:38 PM
Originally posted by bwalton
All of my favorite quotes come from Fred's return from St. Louis episode (contract dispute). Lamont and the gang throws a surprise party for Fred.

Hachu (sp?): Surprise Fred!
Fred : Yea, like Pearl Harbor.

Rollo: Hey pops, what it is!?
Fred: ASk yo momma what it is! I bet she don't even know.
Rollo: Come on pops, cheers!
Fred: Is that what you want? Yippee yippee yae yae. Look who got out of jail today! What some more? Bim Bam Boom. Somebody get this ***** outta my room.

(while speaking to Donna and Esther)
Fred: Lookie here, this like my two favorite characters out of a fairy tale, Beauty and the Beast!




Fred later is handing out gifts and hands Esther hers
Esther: This is just a clear piece of plastic.
Fred: Naw it aint. Hold it up to your face. (She does) That's your Halloween mask!


:lol: :crazy: :lol:

lol! Welcome to the boards! :)

TVFactFan
11-19-2002, 05:41 PM
Originally posted by bwalton
All of my favorite quotes come from Fred's return from St. Louis episode (contract dispute). Lamont and the gang throws a surprise party for Fred.

Hachu (sp?): Surprise Fred!
Fred : Yea, like Pearl Harbor.

Rollo: Hey pops, what it is!?
Fred: ASk yo momma what it is! I bet she don't even know.
Rollo: Come on pops, cheers!
Fred: Is that what you want? Yippee yippee yae yae. Look who got out of jail today! What some more? Bim Bam Boom. Somebody get this ***** outta my room.

(while speaking to Donna and Esther)
Fred: Lookie here, this like my two favorite characters out of a fairy tale, Beauty and the Beast!


Fred later is handing out gifts and hands Esther hers
Esther: This is just a clear piece of plastic.
Fred: Naw it aint. Hold it up to your face. (She does) That's your Halloween mask!


:lol: :crazy: :lol:


What is the episode title for that episode? I have to purchase that episode from someone because TV LAND won't show it until almost March-i can't wait that long.

HuskerOne
11-20-2002, 09:08 AM
check my sig
The last one might be offensive but I laughed like crazy. I can't wait till the second season comes out on DVD. Not to much longer and this means I don't have to tape the first two seasons. This was one of my favorites shows growing up I remember watching it before the Braves usually came on. Not a Braves fan but love to watch baseball .

bwalton
11-20-2002, 09:33 AM
What episode is the honky quote from? That's classic.

You're from my era. My dad and I would religiously pop in the blank cassette labeled Sanford at 7:00EST just in time to tape the 7:05 re-run. We ended up filling 3 tapes on the SLP speed! Needless to say, you can hardly make out the sound anymore.

I have no idea which episode this next quote came from since I haven't seen it for at least a decade. Fred and Lamont are in an E.R. of a hospital. Fred is fired up at the fact that the only folks that are waiting to be seen are blacks.

Lamont: Patients are seen on a first come, first serve basis. It makes no difference what color you are.
Fred: Oh no? Look at all these n**gas in here! (laughter) You got so many brothers and sisters in here, you could have a N.A.A.C.P. rally!

HuskerOne
11-21-2002, 08:29 AM
Happy Birthday Pop Episode #2 Season # 1

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-21-2002, 11:07 AM
Here's another quote from the episode where Lamont is working at the men's shop and Fred comes in and checks up on Lamont!!!


Manager: May I help you???
Fred: I know how ties are supposed to be felt
Manager: They are not supposed to be felt
Fred: I know they're not felt, they're silk!! I felt silk and I felt felt I felt more silk than I felt felt!!!
Really Funny Exchange:lol: :lol: :lol:

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-22-2002, 02:17 PM
Here's another funny exchange this time between Fred and Lamont:

Lamont: When was the last time you gave in to anybody???
Fred: 1942!! It was with your mama,and it was a big mistake!!!
Lamont: Why?? What happened???
Fred: You were born!!! You see, Lamont in French means "big mistake"!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

bwalton
11-22-2002, 02:29 PM
Here's one between fred and Esther.

Esther: The Lord says thou not be drunk with wine.
Fred: What he say 'bout scotch?
Esther: That's blasphemy, Fred Sanford, and I'm not gonna be
guilty be association.
Fred: Good. I didn't want to associate w/ you anyway!
:mrt:

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-25-2002, 11:24 AM
Thisone is in the last part of the episode where Lamont has his sensativity group and the next day after the meeting Aunt Esther is over at the house cleaning up!!!

This is a laugh out loud riot here: Here we go!!!

Esther: You're my favorite nephew and if there's anything that I do for you let me know!!
Fred: Tell her to fix her face!!!
Lamont: Say, Pop, didn't you learn anything from the sensativity group last night about people??? Now, try and say something nice about Aunt Esther!!! OK!!!
(Fred trying to say something)
Esther: Watch It!!!
(Fred still trying to say something)
Esther: Careful!!!
Fred: You know, Esther, you're overly generaous!!!
(Esther Smiles)
Fred: Every time you open your mouth, you give away your ignorance!!!
Esther: Slams Sweeper Down On Floor: That Did It!!! (Esther and Fred swatting each other) (Here's The Funny Part): Fred pulls off Esther's wig and Fred goes out the door with it and Esther giving chase and Lamont laughing out loud!!!! Hilarious!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

TVFactFan
11-25-2002, 04:36 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Thisone is in the last part of the episode where Lamont has his sensativity group and the next day after the meeting Aunt Esther is over at the house cleaning up!!!

This is a laugh out loud riot here: Here we go!!!

Esther: You're my favorite nephew and if there's anything that I do for you let me know!!
Fred: Tell her to fix her face!!!
Lamont: Say, Pop, didn't you learn anything from the sensativity group last night about people??? Now, try and say something nice about Aunt Esther!!! OK!!!
(Fred trying to say something)
Esther: Watch It!!!
(Fred still trying to say something)
Esther: Careful!!!
Fred: You know, Esther, you're overly generaous!!!
(Esther Smiles)
Fred: Every time you open your mouth, you give away your ignorance!!!
Esther: Slams Sweeper Down On Floor: That Did It!!! (Esther and Fred swatting each other) (Here's The Funny Part): Fred pulls off Esther's wig and Fred goes out the door with it and Esther giving chase and Lamont laughing out loud!!!! Hilarious!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

I just taped the episode last week that was very unexpected at the end when Fred pulled Esther's wig off.

W.J. Griffin
11-25-2002, 08:40 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Thisone is in the last part of the episode where Lamont has his sensativity group and the next day after the meeting Aunt Esther is over at the house cleaning up!!!

This is a laugh out loud riot here: Here we go!!!

Esther: You're my favorite nephew and if there's anything that I do for you let me know!!
Fred: Tell her to fix her face!!!
Lamont: Say, Pop, didn't you learn anything from the sensativity group last night about people??? Now, try and say something nice about Aunt Esther!!! OK!!!
(Fred trying to say something)
Esther: Watch It!!!
(Fred still trying to say something)
Esther: Careful!!!
Fred: You know, Esther, you're overly generaous!!!
(Esther Smiles)
Fred: Every time you open your mouth, you give away your ignorance!!!
Esther: Slams Sweeper Down On Floor: That Did It!!! (Esther and Fred swatting each other) (Here's The Funny Part): Fred pulls off Esther's wig and Fred goes out the door with it and Esther giving chase and Lamont laughing out loud!!!! Hilarious!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

I love this ending. If you'll notice, Demond Wilson's reaction was totally spontaneous, making me think that Redd and La Wanda ad-libbed this bit on the spot!!:lol:

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-27-2002, 11:05 AM
This is one is from the episode "Rated X" where Lamont, Rollo and Fred are in jail together!!!

This one is a funny one between Fred and Rollo:


Fred: Say, listen, where's the men's room in here???
Rollo: Just aim yourself in that direction over there,man!!!
(Shows The Toilet)
Fred: There???
Rollo: There!!!
Fred: I can't use that!!!
Rollo: What did you think it was??? A goldfish bowl!!!
Fred: It's all out in the open!!!
Rollo: I sure hope that you don't get a big sentence!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

AtlantaBravesFan29
11-27-2002, 11:09 AM
This time this one's from Fred!!!


Fred: What a way of spending my last days,sitting between two dummies sucking on a Tootsie Roll Pop!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

TVFactFan
11-27-2002, 01:41 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
This time this one's from Fred!!!


Fred: What a way of spending my last days,sitting between two dummies sucking on a Tootsie Roll Pop!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yeah that quote had me laughing so hard-I think i will look at that episode tonight.

DarleneIllyria
11-27-2002, 06:34 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
This is one is from the episode "Rated X" where Lamont, Rollo and Fred are in jail together!!!

This one is a funny one between Fred and Rollo:


Fred: Say, listen, where's the men's room in here???
Rollo: Just aim yourself in that direction over there,man!!!
(Shows The Toilet)
Fred: There???
Rollo: There!!!
Fred: I can't use that!!!
Rollo: What did you think it was??? A goldfish bowl!!!
Fred: It's all out in the open!!!
Rollo: I sure hope that you don't get a big sentence!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: I love that episode! Great quote.

AtlantaBravesFan29
12-02-2002, 10:58 AM
Here's another exchange from the episode "Rated X" where Lamont calls Aunt Esther!!!


Rollo: Is everything all right???
Lamont: Yeah, everything's cool,I called Aunt Esther and she's coming to get us out!!!
Fred: Esther??? Now she's going to blab it all over town that we're in jail!!!
Rollo: Why??? Is she a talker or something???
Fred: Yeah, her mouth is so big you can put your head through there with your hat on!!!
Lamont: Pop, we need Aunt Esther,she's the one with the habeas corpus!!!
Fred: Yeah, and she has got a big one of those too!!!!
Lamont: I suppose you don't want Aunt Esther to get us out of here,you rather for us just to sit here!!!
Fred: Maybe, if we have a cell with a decent toilet!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

DarleneIllyria
12-02-2002, 08:43 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Here's another exchange from the episode "Rated X" where Lamont calls Aunt Esther!!!


Rollo: Is everything all right???
Lamont: Yeah, everything's cool,I called Aunt Esther and she's coming to get us out!!!
Fred: Esther??? Now she's going to blab it all over town that we're in jail!!!
Rollo: Why??? Is she a talker or something???
Fred: Yeah, her mouth is so big you can put your head through there with your hat on!!!
Lamont: Pop, we need Aunt Esther,she's the one with the habeas corpus!!!
Fred: Yeah, and she has got a big one of those too!!!!
Lamont: I suppose you don't want Aunt Esther to get us out of here,you rather for us just to sit here!!!
Fred: Maybe, if we have a cell with a decent toilet!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

ROFLMAO!

AtlantaBravesFan29
12-09-2002, 12:59 PM
Here is Fred and Esther's first exchange from the "Rated X" episode!!! This is where they were in jail!!!


Lamont: Aunt Esther, I'm so glad to see you!!!
Esther: Well, I'm sure not glad to see you, at least not in here!!!
Fred: Esther, why don't you shut your face???
Esther: You just keep sucking on that sucker, sucker!!! And when I pull your chain, you bark!!! Otherwise, don't you speak to me???
(Esther Jumps On Lamont and Rollo before going back to Fred)
Esther: Fred Sanford,I'm so glad my sister isn't around to see all of this and the awful stain that you put on our family!!!
Fred: Stained??? Esther, your family was stained when I met you all!!!
Esther: Don't you talk about my family???
Fred: I'll talk about your family!!! Everytime a baby was born it had that ugly stain!!! That's right!!! That ug-gggggly stain!!! Even Ajax couldn't get rid of a stain like that!!!
Esther: How dare you talk about my family??? Why,you bead-eating bear-hugging donkey????
Fred: Don't call me names (Esther slams her purse on the bars and everyone's fighting):lol: :lol: :lol:

AtlantaBravesFan29
12-20-2002, 11:09 AM
Here are some quotes from The Surprise Party episode:


Lamont to Fred: Why don't you ask Aunt Esther if she's wants a drink???
Fred: She wouldn't want one!!!
Esther: Why wouldn't I???
Fred: Because you are a drink!!! A Zombie!!!

Fred to Lamont: And I got you a quadphonic stereo system!!!
Lamont: All right, out of sight!!!
Fred: Here!!! (Hands Lamont a stephascope)
Grady: Wanna trade??? (Fred gave Grady bunion pads earlier)
Lamont: Say, man, you have to be on an airplane to hear these!!!
Fred: No, watch!! (Fred sings, "If I Didn't Care)
Lamont: What kind of present is that to give your own son???
Esther: That's Fred!!! Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap!!!!
Fred: Listen to that, a buzzard trying to imitate a chicken!!!
Esther and Fred start arguing

AtlantaBravesFan29
12-26-2002, 03:11 PM
Here's a quote from the "The Big Party" episode from Esther and Fred!!! This is when she asks Fred to have her Sunday School meeting over at his house!!!


Esther: You know what the Good Book says, "He That Asketh, Receiveth and He Who Seeketh, Findeth!!! That's Matthew!!!
Fred: Well, you have asketh and have been turned downeth, and now go and findeth some place elseth!!! That's Fred!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

sanford
12-30-2002, 05:40 PM
there are too many to list
one that sticks out --you can watch me have a heart attack moose
to be honest anything that came out of fred's mouth makes me laugh----he was a classic

DarleneIllyria
12-30-2002, 07:48 PM
Originally posted by sanford
to be honest anything that came out of fred's mouth makes me laugh----he was a classic

Oh, I agree. By the way, I see you are new. Welcome and I hope you have a fun time at the boards. :)

Brett Ferino
01-05-2003, 03:41 PM
I like the Lena Horne ep. I first saw it when I was about 9 when N@N had an evening of black history shows like "Flip Wilson" and "Julia", so anyway I saw the episode and I saw it again on TV Land last night. Ever since then, I can recall when Fred is on the phone and calls nbc, in a funny way he says "Hello, NBC?!"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Rebel Queen 1980
01-07-2003, 02:56 PM
Fred:''Esther,why don't you start by helping us out in the kitchen?''
Esther:'' Alright''.
Fred: ''Alright,you can start by sticking your face in the freezer
and making us some uglycicles!''

bry
01-21-2003, 10:34 PM
after lamont buys the toilet again, fred starts to explain lamonts mistake. he says, "you're just dumb son".

during the poker game fred said"throw them in joe"

"buy a pinball machine".

TVFactFan
01-21-2003, 10:45 PM
Originally posted by bry
after lamont buys the toilet again, fred starts to explain lamonts mistake. he says, "you're just dumb son".

during the poker game fred said"throw them in joe"

"buy a pinball machine".


Here is another one of my favorites
Fred is about to marry Donna and is walking up the steps singing-"It's Going to Be Donna and Me, and the Dummy makes Three"-LOL LOL LOL LOL

AtlantaBravesFan29
01-21-2003, 11:18 PM
These are some quotes from the Piano Movers episode:


Guy With The Piano: Uh Uh Uh
Lamont: Oh yeah
Fred: What???
Guy With The Piano: What size shoe do you wear???
Lamont: Go On, tell him what size shoe you wear
Fred: I wear a 10, what are we going to do, dance???
Lamont: It's the carpet, it's antique
Guy With The Piano: You know with those heavy boots you wouldn't want to walk on an old Persian carpet would you???
Fred: With these heavy boots I'll walk on an old Persian
Guy With The Piano: Sorry, those are all I have in size 10(gives him those pointed toe slippers)
Fred: Who wore these last,the thief of Bagdad??? I don't know how you find these people
Guy With The Piano: Uh Uh Uh
Lamont: It's the chair
Guy With The Piano: It's a Chippendale, not for sitting
Fred: You oughta to get a Sears Roebuck they're made for sitting


Fred: This sure is a nice apartment, I wonder how much the rent is!!!
Lamont: You couldn't afford it
Fred: The Supreme Court says I could live anywhere I want to
Lamont: Well, you better get the Supreme Court to pay your rent


Lamont: Well, what do you think???(talks to Fred about the piano)
Fred: I ain't lifting this
Lamont: What do you mean you're not lifting this??
Fred: I ain't gonna rupture myself for no $10
Lamont: Pop, you don't understand, we are not just getting $10, the man is giving us a Steinway!!!
Fred: The man is giving us a hernia
:lol: :lol: :lol:

bry
01-22-2003, 09:45 PM
i also like the camping episode where fred sings his song:
"freddie, freddie sanford,
father of this dummy here..."

TVFactFan
01-22-2003, 09:50 PM
Originally posted by bry
i also like the camping episode where fred sings his song:
"freddie, freddie sanford,
father of this dummy here..."

I don't care for that episode-i decided to record over it because looking at just fred and lamont in the woods for 30 min was BORING

DarleneIllyria
01-22-2003, 10:00 PM
Originally posted by bry
i also like the camping episode where fred sings his song:
"freddie, freddie sanford,
father of this dummy here..."

lol- That episode has some funny scenes. I like the part when a spider gets on Fred and he picks it up and he yells "Get me out of here!" lol That scene went something like that. Hope you guys know the scene I'm talking about.

harryl
01-24-2003, 03:28 PM
Lamont: I'm gonna go into shipbuilding like that Greek cat Onassis. He started out poor just like me.

Fred: Only one difference.

Lamont: What's that?

Fred: He started off a Greek.

RCA
01-25-2003, 02:02 AM
I like the one liners that Fred says "Thats S-A-N-F-O-R-D period" They had a good episode on tonight (or was it last night) where Fred tells Esther that "she's so ugly, she should put her face in doe and make gorilla cookies." I was laughing so hard I was crying.

DYNAMIC D
01-28-2003, 07:48 PM
"I WANT MY DADDY'S RECORDS!"

Brian
01-31-2003, 08:49 PM
Any time Fred faked a heart attack or when Esther used the word "sucker" in her sentences.

fredfan
01-31-2003, 09:53 PM
I love the episodes (when Fred would sing); especially,
"And would I be sure that this, is love, beyond compare........."; and than he would say, that's all for the dinner show..... or, on another episode where he was refusing to identify the robber's at Julio's house to the police, "what kind of fool am I?"

he was such a ham, but hysterical! :lol:

TVFactFan
02-01-2003, 12:22 PM
Originally posted by jimmiegirl48


Yeah, both of those...and any time Fred said "dummy."

Well the dummy phrase became stale so the writers did use the dummy phrase a different way sometimes. For example, fred was singing a song as Lamont was coming in the door and he sung "A latti da, A latti de, it's dummy" And then when fred was engaged to donna he was walking up the steps singing-"it's going to be donna and me, and the dummy makes three"-LOL

AtlantaBravesFan29
02-01-2003, 03:42 PM
I have an exchange from the episode The Committee Man,where Fred sees Mrs. Channing!!!


Fred--when he looks at her--: Sheeesh!!! I can't believe it, a white Esther!!!
Mrs. Channing: Excuse me,perhaps I can give you some assistance the convention is down the hall
Fred: May I give you some assistance, the dogcatcher is on his way up!!!
Mrs. Channing: Well, I never!!!
Fred: Maybe if you wore a mask!!!

When They Are Voting For The Library To Be Open An Extra Hour
When Mrs Channing Says Nay:

Fred: Excuse me,what did you say again???
Mrs. Channing: Nay Nay Nay,and you better vote the same way, Nayyyy!!!
Fred: Don't count on it, Trigger!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:

bry
02-09-2003, 12:54 PM
and don't forget one of her numerous chacters saying:

"well i never!"

and fred says :" i bet you did."

AtlantaBravesFan29
02-09-2003, 01:47 PM
Here's a funny exchange from the episode A Little Extra Security where Grady gets an extra Social Security check and blows it in Las Vegas.

Grady: We went to Las Vegas and we saw two great shows.
Esther: Sodom and Gomorrah
Grady: No,no!! Nipsey Russell and Harry Belafonte:lol: :lol: :lol:

TVFactFan
02-09-2003, 02:06 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Here's a funny exchange from the episode A Little Extra Security where Grady gets an extra Social Security check and blows it in Las Vegas.

Grady: We went to Las Vegas and we saw two great shows.
Esther: Sodom and Gomorrah
Grady: No,no!! Nipsey Russell and Harry Belafonte:lol: :lol: :lol:

Here is a quote from the episode when Hulio's sister and nephew was living with the Sanfords. TV Land cut this scene out bu luckily i have the UPN version.


Fred: You know young fella that was nice of you to up the price for the lamp another 10 dollars. Give me five.

Hulio's Nephew: No give me ten

Fred: Ten?

Hulio's Newphew: Yes it my ten dollars I was the one who raised the price, It my ten dollars

Fred: You know you have a good head on your shoulders, WANT TO SEE ON THE FLOOR?_LOL LOL

AtlantaBravesFan29
02-09-2003, 02:13 PM
I remember that one. That was hilarious!!!:lol: :lol: :lol: Again I haven't seen this one in a long time,and another one was that was omitted in the Columbia House Video Collection.

TVFactFan
02-09-2003, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
I remember that one. That was hilarious!!!:lol: :lol: :lol: Again I haven't seen this one in a long time,and another one was that was omitted in the Columbia House Video Collection.

Yeah it came on TV LAND lastnight. You said this episode is in Columbia House?

AtlantaBravesFan29
02-09-2003, 04:16 PM
I meant that the episode wasn't in the collection of Sanford and Son videos that they put out. Others that are missing from the collection is the Beauty Contest with Esther episode,the Christmas episode,and the Hawaiian Connection episodes. Wondered why they didn't put those particular episodes out in the collection??? The Beauty Contest episode is the episode that I definitely want to see again,but I don't have TV Land,and the last time I saw those episodes was when they had them on TBS in the early 90's. Let's hope that they can get every episode out on DVD soon,I know that the second season of Sanford and Son is out(I have the first season on DVD), but Wal-Mart hasn't gotten it in yet!!! Columbia House released 29 videos of Sanford and Son which had 4 episodes to them,which means that they showed 116 episodes of them,why didn't they release the other 19 episodes in the collection,which meant 5 more videos,4 videos with 4 episodes on them,and the Hawaiian Connection episode,which was a 3 parter.

TVFactFan
02-09-2003, 04:36 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
I meant that the episode wasn't in the collection of Sanford and Son videos that they put out. Others that are missing from the collection is the Beauty Contest with Esther episode,the Christmas episode,and the Hawaiian Connection episodes. Wondered why they didn't put those particular episodes out in the collection??? The Beauty Contest episode is the episode that I definitely want to see again,but I don't have TV Land,and the last time I saw those episodes was when they had them on TBS in the early 90's. Let's hope that they can get every episode out on DVD soon,I know that the second season of Sanford and Son is out(I have the first season on DVD), but Wal-Mart hasn't gotten it in yet!!! Columbia House released 29 videos of Sanford and Son which had 4 episodes to them,which means that they showed 116 episodes of them,why didn't they release the other 19 episodes in the collection,which meant 5 more videos,4 videos with 4 episodes on them,and the Hawaiian Connection episode,which was a 3 parter.

Yeah the Christmas episode was very good-TV LAND didn't show it but UPN in my local area did. Fred sings at the end at Donna's House and all the characters are there-Aunt Esther, Bubba, and Rollo. Grady wasn't there though. Correction it was Aunt Esther House.

DarleneIllyria
02-09-2003, 08:27 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
I know that the second season of Sanford and Son is out(I have the first season on DVD), but Wal-Mart hasn't gotten it in yet!!!

We must have the same Walmart. Is the Walmart in your town a super store? We had a plain Walmart and they closed it down and built a Super Walmart store. I swear the plain Walmart was better. Believe me, this town doesn't have S & S dvds or AITF dvds. I'll have to buy them through Ebay when I get the chance.

*PinkLady*
02-09-2003, 08:37 PM
I've been to two Wal-Marts (one plain, one superstore) in the past week and they both have the Sanford and Son DVD. That's weird.

AtlantaBravesFan29
02-09-2003, 11:34 PM
Yes,Jenny,we have a Super Wal-Mart in our town which is 40 miles south of San Antonio, TX. And they don't keep their stock up to date very well,they have both the first season DVD of The Jeffersons,and the first season DVD of Sanford and Son,but not the second season of Sanford and Son on DVD,and the first and second season DVD's of All In The Family. Guess I'll either have to look for it in San Antonio or order it through mail order.:mad: Because Wal-Mart doesn't have it.

DarleneIllyria
02-09-2003, 11:44 PM
Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Yes,Jenny,we have a Super Wal-Mart in our town which is 40 miles south of San Antonio, TX. And they don't keep their stock up to date very well,they have both the first season DVD of The Jeffersons,and the first season DVD of Sanford and Son,but not the second season of Sanford and Son on DVD,and the first and second season DVD's of All In The Family. Guess I'll either have to look for it in San Antonio or order it through mail order.:mad: Because Wal-Mart doesn't have it.

It's absolutely pitiful if you ask me. Super Walmart is supposed to have so much more than a regular Walmart, but the one here doesn't keep their stock up either. It doesn't keep up good supplies with anything.

I'm kind of pissed they built the Super Walmart here. They had this park area and it was a beautiful piece of land. It was absolutely beautiful. They destroyed that park to make some crappy Super Walmart store. The regular Walmart was just as good, even better than the Super store.

AtlantaBravesFan29
02-10-2003, 05:17 PM
This is a very hilarious exchange at the end of Superflyer when they are on the plane home from St. Louis and Fred still has those chicken wings and Lamont calls for the stewardess to throw them away and where they finally meet Jackie.

Fred: Is Jackie on this flight???
Stewardess: Yes, sir, she is,want to me to bring her over here???
Fred: I don't believe it, I finally get to meet Jackie
Jackie: Hi, I'm Jackie. ---Fred makes his face like when he sees Aunt Esther--
Fred: I'm going to the toilet!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

raven
04-26-2003, 10:07 PM
when fred whent to the doctor, fred tells lamont about the haves and the have nots. "say the halfs give the half nots half of what they have. then the halfs would still be the halfs ,and the half nots would be the half somethings."

when fred builds his junk tower, he tells esther "evert time i look at you, it makes me wish birth control was retro-active"

glenny
04-29-2003, 12:38 PM
In episode "My Fair Esther" .....Fred says..."for $500 i can turn Yule Gibbons into a meatloaf freak!!"

walkthisway06
07-06-2003, 03:14 PM
On "The Shootout", Fred's messing around with that gun and when it goes off, he tells Lamont, "why didn't you tell me that damn gun was loaded?" For some reason, I think that's hilarious!

*PinkLady*
07-06-2003, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by walkthisway06
On "The Shootout", Fred's messing around with that gun and when it goes off, he tells Lamont, "why didn't you tell me that damn gun was loaded?" For some reason, I think that's hilarious!

:lol: I do too.

That reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes from that ep: When Lamont says the gun is called a Brown Bess, Fred's like, "Well, they sold it to a brown dummy!" I crack up every time I hear that line. Don't know why.

AtlantaBravesFan29
07-06-2003, 10:13 PM
In the episode where Fred builds his junk sculpture,Aunt Esther asks Fred when she sees the sculpture up close and asks, What do you call that ugly mess,and Fred tells her, "I call it...Esther."

Another episode is the one where Big Money Grip comes to visit and says that Lamont is his son and Fred calls Aunt Esther to come over and straighten things out and Esther tells Fred that she didn't like being alone with an unmarried man and Fred tells her I would be married to an octopus than to be married to a donkey. And then when Fred asks Esther about Elizabeth and Grip being together and dilly-dallying around. Here's some of the exchange between them.

Fred: Did you know of Elizabeth and Grip dilly-dallying around???
Esther: What's a dilly dally???
Fred: I mean did she and Grip you know fool around???
Esther: Fred Sanford,you ought to be ashamed of yourself thinking of things like that,my sister was pure as the driven snow.
Fred: Yeah, but who was doing the driving???:lol:

jekouptown
07-07-2003, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by Sitcom Analyzer
Here is a quote from Fred on the spinoff "Sanford"-with Fred and the Heavy guy Cal trying to lose weight

Cal: Fred I need some grease, I need the some salt i can't take it ANYMORE!!

Fred: You know that saying you sure are beautiful when you get mad?

Cal: YEAH What About it?

Fred: That ain't go nothing to do with you

I think i may watch this episode tonight-LOL
i dont get the humor in this one.