View Full Version : Classic Cheers Quotes! (Sam Diane, Carla & More)

Diane Chambers
12-28-2001, 01:59 AM
i found these.. i love em! :happyface


Diane: "hey everyone, guess why im here?"

Carla: "generations of inbreeding?"

Diane: "I hate you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns!!"

Sam: [looks up and makes a pity face and then looks down counting money] "somebody's cranky.."

SAM: You are the nuttiest, the stupidest, the phoniest fruitcake I ever met!

DIANE: You Sam Malone are the most arrogant self centered...

SAM & DIANE: (together) SHUT UP!

SAM: Shut your fat mouth!
DIANE: Make me


DIANE: Try it and you'll be walking funny tomorrow... Or should I say funnier.

SAM: You know, You know I always wanted to pop you one!
Maybe this is my lucky day, huh?

DIANE: You disgust me! I hate you!

SAM: Are you as turned on as I am?

DIANE: More!

SAM: I'm in big, BIG trouble. I did something that felt so right when I did, but now it turns out to be ALL wrong.

DIANE: What's her name and how many months?


LILITH: So Frasier was married to that .. oh how would one describe her .. BITCH! ... (singing) 'I want to shake your hand. Snatch you bald. I want to scratch your eyes out. I want to drain your blood and replace it with a mecuric, chloride, fermaldihide and alcohol solution. (laughs maniacally)


CARLA: Sam don't be so hasty. This could be the house for you. Does it have a basement?

DIANE:-- Yes it does, a large one.

CARLA: Great, you can convert it into a dungeon to keep Diane in - then when you are done torturing her you can bury the body under the cement floor and cover it with a ping pong table.


CARLA: I cannot let any man touch me, talk to me, or see me, or I'll be shooting out kids like a pez dispenser.


WOODY: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?

NORM: See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers.


Okay thats it guys if you want me to post more jus ask!

;) :happyface

12-28-2001, 04:13 PM
I like that pic. lol

wonder who painted (or made) the background


Diane Chambers-Malone
12-30-2001, 12:30 PM
:rotflmao: That fight scene was one of my favorite quotes from Cheers ever. It was so hilarious. I think that it was a perfect description of what their relationship was really like.

Diane Chambers
12-30-2001, 09:37 PM
yea it was a definate classic.. plus that episode is what really got me into the show!!!!! :D

Diane Chambers
01-06-2002, 01:12 AM
*BuMp* :wave: :happyface :) ;) :crazy: :talk:

01-06-2002, 02:38 AM
Oh no-no-no! The thing that got me into Cheers was the episode "Let Me Count The Ways" because Sam comforts Diane when no one else does and you see their real feelings come out, but they don't take the chance then. I kept watching to see if they ever got together. Now, I haven't seen the whole 1st season. I saw about 2 minutes of the first episode and thought it was so stupid, and never watched it until I had nothing else to do. I saw the end of "Let Me Count The Ways" and wanted to see if they ended up together, and of course, a few eps later, they did. I stuck around to see if they stayed together, they didn't, so i stuck around to see if they ever got back together, but when Diane brought in Frasier, I had to see what happened there! I stuck around until Frasier told them they were still in love and wanted to see what they did with it. Now I know. They've tried to get married twice, and didn't. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't have ran off to finish a book, and if I did and the publishers didn't want it, I would be like, "Oh well! I promised my man I'd be back in 6 months and nothing is gonna stop me!" But that is just me!

01-06-2002, 03:14 AM
Some more quotes...
SAM: Yeah, well at least I didn't fly across the country to make an ass outta myself.
DIANE: Why bother when you do it so brilliantly right here?
DIANE: What could be more enjoyable than opening your heart this holiday season?
CARLA: Opening yours with a can opener?
DIANE: You're very stupid.
SAM: I'll you how stupid I am: I see through you like a book.
DIANE: Ah, I'm sorry I'm late, but you'll be delighted when you hear why.
CARLA: We're just delighted you were late.
(my quote)
DIANE: Oh, Sam, how much more evidence do you need that we're not made in heaven? We turn into idiots in each other's company. The differnce in your case is barely perceptible, but it's starting to bother me.
SAM: Diane, this is the last time I'm gonna tell you to open the door.
DIANE: Well, who the hell do you think you are?
SAM: I'm Sam Malone, and that was your last warning.
CLIFF: The very letters "D-N-A" are an acronym for the words "Dames are Not Agressive."
DIANE: They stand for dioxyribonucleic acid.
CLIFF: Ah, yes, but uh parse that in the latin declention and uh my point is still moot.
DIANE: You know, Cliff, if it is true that a little knowledge is dangerous, you are a walking time-bomb.
CLIFF: Oh, thank you, Diane
DIANE: Woody, would you mind if I stuck my big, fat nose in your affairs?
WOODY: Stick your big, fat nose wherever you like, Miss Chambers.
CARLA: Hey, wait! I got an idea!
DIANE: You mean you've actually conceived something besides a child?
CARLA: Whooaoo...a bitter and unprovoked attack. I like it!
COACH: What's the story, Norm?
NORM: Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.
SAM: What's happening, Norm?
NORM: Well, it's a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.
(One For The Road)
NORM: You wanna know what I love?
SAM: Beer, Norm?
NORM: Yeah, I'll have a quick one.
NORM: Good afternoon, everybody.
COACH: How about a beer, Norm
NORM: Hey, I'm high on life Coach. Of course, beer is my life.
SAM: What time is it?
NORM: How many beers have I had, Cliff?
CLIFF: Ah...eleven.
NORM: 8:05
If ya want more, email me at Cheers1912@aol.com and you can request things, like if you only want Rebecca quotes, or you only want Frasier quotes. C-ya later!


Diane Chambers
01-07-2002, 03:15 PM
aw even better quotes! i love the show.. LoL i think thats why, because you NEVER find anything intellectual like that anymore, the cheers script was so smartly written!

Dr Lilith Sternin
01-07-2002, 03:22 PM
>>>> LILITH: So Frasier was married to that .. oh how would one describe her .. BITCH! ... (singing) 'I want to shake your hand. Snatch you bald. I want to scratch your eyes out. I want to drain your blood and replace it with a mecuric, chloride, fermaldihide and alcohol solution. (laughs maniacally) <<<<

Which episode is that from? It doesn't sound familiar... prolly one I have yet to see. LOL

Diane Chambers
01-07-2002, 04:25 PM
I dont know but that makes me laugh sooooooo much i luv lilith LOL

Diane Chambers-Malone
01-07-2002, 04:32 PM
:clap: Ditto! Some of the best quotes that came out of Cheers were from Frasier, Diane, and Lilith. I love the intellectual side to them.

cheers freak
01-07-2002, 04:38 PM
That was from the episode where Lilith, Frasier and Sam took Freddie to a Nanny Gee concert. Fraiser realizes he was once married to her and accidently lets it slip to Lilith who didn't know Fraiser was once married. Lillith doesn't take the news very well. It's a very funny episode.:lol:

Diane Chambers
01-07-2002, 05:56 PM
Was That already shown on Nick At nite?