-*Forever*-
11-30-2001, 08:50 PM
The sequel to my ELR fic, "Show Me Love"! Here it goes!!!
"Gotta Tell You"
By Patricia Heaton Forever (Debra Barone Barone)
summary: Robert and Debra are now married, with three kids- but Ray and Debra had those kids together. What about Robert and Debra having their own baby?
(scene is Robert and Debra's apartment. Ally and the wins are asleep and Robert and Debra are in the Jacuzzi)
Robert: Here's where it all started, Deb. Under the stars, in the Jacuzzi.
Debra: Yeah..... Robert, have you ever wanted kids?
Robert: Well, yeah, but now I have three wonderful kids.
Debra: Yeah, I know, but Ray helped me have those kids.
Robert: Honey, what are you getting at?
Debra: Do you want to have a baby?
Robert: It'd be kinda hard.
Debra: No, no, no! I mean, you get me pregnant.
Robert: Oh! Well....(realizing what she means) Ohhhhh.
Debra: Well….?
Robert: Umm, you see, I’d love to, oh believe me, would I love to, but we’ve only been married- what? 3 weeks?
Debra: Well, I guess you’re right. I’m gonna go to bed now. Night.
(she leans over and kisses him, then walks out of the porch, into the bedroom)
Robert: (to himself) Damn! What the hell is wrong with me????
(scene is Ray’s house. He is in bed and we see not only him, but a woman. She rolls over. It is Robert’s ex-wife, Joanne)
Joanne: So, does Robert still talk about me?
Ray: Umm… ahh… (he has not yet told her Robert is married to Debra)… Joanne, I gotta tell you. Robert- he married Debra.
(Joanne’s face turns from her normal creamy white to a flushed purple color)
Joanne: So, he’s married now?!?!?!? I don’t believe him!!!!
Ray: Yeah, but- hey! There’s me!
(Joanne looks him up and down- mostly down)
Joanne: You’re right. There is still you.
(We see them kiss and Ray pulls the covers over them)
(scene is Robert and Debra’s apartment next morning. They are lying in bed, kissing)
Robert: (to himself) Damn! If only it were nighttime!
Debra: (to herself) Damn! I wish the kids were away!
(the kids- yes, all three of them- walk in)
Ally: Mommy?
(Debra and Robert jump as they straighten the covers over them)
Debra: (coughs) Yes, sweetie?
Ally: Nothing. We just wanted to see how you and Uncle Robert- ummmm, I mean Daddy (she is obviously appalled at having to call him this) were making out.
(Debra and Robert look at each other in shock, not realizing what Ally means is ‘We wanted to see how you were doing’)
Debra: Ally, why would you want to know- (then it dawns on Debra what her daughter means) Oh! We’re making out just fine!
Robert: Oh yes! Just fine! (he still doesn’t get it) Now if you’ll leave us alone, we’ll continue making out!
(Ally and the kids walk out. Debra and Robert start kissing again)
Robert: Deb, I.. I have to tell you something. Tonight. In the Jacuzzi.
Debra: OK…. (Debra is mystified)
(scene is later, in the Jacuzzi. Debra walks in, wearing a bathing suit nothing like the one Joanne left there. She climbs in and kisses Robert)
Debra: OK, what did you want to tell me?
Robert: Let’s have a baby.
Debra: (accusingly) You said you weren’t ready!
Robert: I wasn’t, I wasn’t. But last night, when you walked into the bedroom, I thought ‘Damn! What the hell is wrong with me?’ Refusing a beautiful woman like you- boy, was I crazy!
Debra: Well, let’s hop to it! Not a minute to lose before the sun shines and the kids whine.
(we see the two head off towards the bedroom. As the screen fades to a commercial break, Robert slams the door shut)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
(scene is next morning. Robert and Debra are kissing once again, this time, a heck of a lot louder*. There is a knock on their bedroom door)
*no they are not having sex
Debra and Robert: Go away!!!!!!!!
Voices: Is that any way to treat your ex’s???
(Robert and Debra stop kissing and look at each other, horrified, as they realize that it’s Ray and Joanne. Debra runs up and gets the door, forgetting she’s only wearing a bra and underwear. Robert is lying on the bed in his boxers)
Debra: Umm, hello guys. Come on in, I guess.
(Ray is staring at Debra’s rather busty chest area and is practically drooling. Debra notices and crosses her arms over her chest. Meanwhile, Joanne is staring at Robert.*)
*I am not going into details, TJ would ban me!!!! (can u imagine me describing where Joanne is looking? NO WAY!!!)
Joanne: What were you two doing?
Debra: Uhhhhhh….
Ray: I can guess.
Robert: I can explain too. You see, last night, Deb and I decided we wanted to have a baby, so then we… ooh eee ooh ahh ahh ting tang walla walla bing bang! (you guys know, that Chipmunks song!)
Ray: So we’re equal now.
Debra: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Joanne: We did too.
Debra: Oh, that is sick, sick, sick, sick, sick. Who ever heard of a couple’s ex’s having sex????
Robert: YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED AT YOURSELFS!!!!!
Ray: I already told you, we’re getting even!!!!!!!!!! You and Debra had sex before we were even divorced!
Joanne: Yeah! That’s right! You did!
Debra: That’s right. We did.
Robert: Yes, we did and it was grrrrrrrreat!!!!
(Ally walks in)
Ally: Hi, Daddy!!!!!!!!! Mommy, why are Daddy and Aunt Joanne here? And why are you not dressed? And why isn’t Uncle Robert dressed? (Debra shoots her a glare) I mean, Daddy.
Ray: Hey, Ally! Come give your Daddy a hug!
(Ally runs over and hugs Ray)
Joanne: Hello, Ally, sweetheart.
Ally: Hello, Aunt Joanne.
Robert: WHAT IS THIS, A PARTY????? DEB AND I ARE PRACTICALLY NAKED AND YOU’RE ALL STANDING IN HERE!!!!!!!
(Marie and Frank walk in)
Debra: Oh, great, great. Now I’m gonna have my father in law staring at my boobs too, along with my husband and ex-husband.
Robert: Am I a problem? Do you want me to stop staring?
Debra: No, honey. Stare as long as you want. (Debra turns to Frank and Ray, who are drooling) You two, I do mind. Ray, damn, you’ve seen me naked before! What is the astonishment of seeing me in a bra??
Ray: Well, it’s the…
Debra: Don’t answer me, Ray.
Robert: Will everyone just GET OUT OF HERE?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
Marie: C’mon Frank. You don’t need to stare at Debra’s cleavage anymore.
Debra: THANK you Marie!
Marie: Anytime, dear. (under her breath) Slut.
(Marie and Frank leave)
Ally: Well, Mommy, I’m going to go play with Geoffrey and Michael.
(Ally walks out)
Robert: So why did you come here? To tell us that you had sex?
Joanne: No, we wanted to tell you the good news!
Debra: I’m afraid to hear it.
Joanne: I’m pregnant!!!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Debra: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You had sex LAST NIGHT. How can you be pregnant already???
Joanne: (guiltily) Well, three months ago, Ray said he was coming over a hard spot in his sex life. So I said, "Well, Ray, there’s always me!" and Ray was ballistic, screaming, "I’m married, Joanne!". But one night, he called me and said, "Joanne, I need your sex". So we got together, and….. yeah.
Debra: I do not believe this. So not only do I have sex before divorce, YOU DO TOO??!?!?!?!?!?!?
Robert: I need to lie down.
Debra: Me too.
Joanne: I guess we should leave them alone…
Debra: BYE Ray.
(Ray and Joanne leave)
Robert: Who would have thought….
Debra: Oh my God, not me.
Robert: Well, what are you gonna tell Ally?
Debra: Are you kidding me? I’m not telling her! She’d be traumatized until she was 27! Her Aunt Joanne having sex with her daddy? A big no-no in Ally’s book.
Robert: A big no-no in Robert’s book too. C’mon Deb, you two were married for OVER 11 YEARS!!!!!! And he cheats on you with my scummy ex-wife?!?!?!
Debra: You really think I’m better looking than her?
Robert: If I didn’t, she’d be lying in this bed, not you.
Debra: Awwww, Robert, that’s so sweet. (she kisses him)
(scene is next day at Ray’s house. There is a knock on the door. Puzzled *, Ray opens it to find Debra standing there)
*Marie, Frank, and Robert usually just walk in
Ray: Oh, hi, Debra.
Debra: Ray… (she grabs him and starts kissing him)
Ray: (pulls away) Debra!!!!!
Debra: Ray, why did you have sex with Joanne? Huh? Wasn’t I good enough for you? Was I bad or something? Well, you better knows one thing- your brother sure as hell doesn’t think I’m bad!!!!
Ray: No, honey, I never thought you were bad!
Debra: Sure seems like it to me!!!
Ray: Well, it’s not true! Believe me, you were great!!! C’mon- if you weren’t, then would we have three kids?
Debra: Well… no.
(Ray kisses Debra and they are kissing when Robert walks in)
Robert: DEBRA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Debra: ROBERT!!!!!!!
Ray: Oooh, Deb, you’re going down.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Robert: What were you two doing??????????
Ray: Kissing! We used to be married, you know.
Robert: I don’t believe this.
Debra: Robert, you don’t understand! Ray was kissing me!
Ray: It’s true, Robert. (Robert is taken aback because Ray never admits his mistakes)
Robert: Wow. Ray. I’m proud of you for sticking up for your ex-wife. Most guys would stick up for their brother.
Debra: I’m so sorry, Robert.
Robert: Aww, me too, Deb.
(Robert and Debra kiss just as Marie walks in)
Marie: Raymond, get me a beer. Put on an action flick. Invite over the guys.
Ray: What’s the occasion?
Marie: Why, your marriage, of course!
Ray, Robert, and Debra: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Marie: Joanne told me you two were getting married.
Ray: Not anytime soon, but eventually….
Robert: And anyway, we’ll be celebrating something else in a few months.
Marie: What’s that, dear.
Robert: Joanne and Debra’s kids! (he sees the confused look she’s giving him) I mean, mine and Debra’s baby and Ray and Joanne’s baby!
(Marie faints dead to the ground)
Ray: I guess I’ll be getting her beer now.
THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK
THE END
yes there will be a sequel! Was it good? "Show Me Love" was MUCH better, I know!
------------------
¤°¤°Debra Barone°¤°¤
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jo, only twice in my life have I spoken in an arbitrary manner. Once when my ex-husband mortgaged out house to pay the bookees and now. GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE BEFORE I BEAT YOU WITH MY FRYING PAN!!!"~Mrs. Garrett, FOL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I believe VERY strongly that Debra Barone and Robert Barone belong together. If they got married, she would be Debra Barone Barone. Saves on monograms.(LOLZIES LIKE ON FOL!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. G: I thought her boyfriend was Robert.
Blair: He is.
Mrs. G.: Where is he?
Tootie: Upstairs.
Mrs. G: Well, who's that?
Blair: Harper.
Mrs. G.: Who's he?
Blair and Tootie: Her boyfriend.
Mrs. G.: Of course. How silly of me. Got it.
*she slaps herself*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I was 16, I had a bad case of acne and I played the accordian in the marching band."~Dorothy Zbornac, The Golden Girls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hey allison DON'T CALL ME PERVERT!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smooches! ^_^
"Gotta Tell You"
By Patricia Heaton Forever (Debra Barone Barone)
summary: Robert and Debra are now married, with three kids- but Ray and Debra had those kids together. What about Robert and Debra having their own baby?
(scene is Robert and Debra's apartment. Ally and the wins are asleep and Robert and Debra are in the Jacuzzi)
Robert: Here's where it all started, Deb. Under the stars, in the Jacuzzi.
Debra: Yeah..... Robert, have you ever wanted kids?
Robert: Well, yeah, but now I have three wonderful kids.
Debra: Yeah, I know, but Ray helped me have those kids.
Robert: Honey, what are you getting at?
Debra: Do you want to have a baby?
Robert: It'd be kinda hard.
Debra: No, no, no! I mean, you get me pregnant.
Robert: Oh! Well....(realizing what she means) Ohhhhh.
Debra: Well….?
Robert: Umm, you see, I’d love to, oh believe me, would I love to, but we’ve only been married- what? 3 weeks?
Debra: Well, I guess you’re right. I’m gonna go to bed now. Night.
(she leans over and kisses him, then walks out of the porch, into the bedroom)
Robert: (to himself) Damn! What the hell is wrong with me????
(scene is Ray’s house. He is in bed and we see not only him, but a woman. She rolls over. It is Robert’s ex-wife, Joanne)
Joanne: So, does Robert still talk about me?
Ray: Umm… ahh… (he has not yet told her Robert is married to Debra)… Joanne, I gotta tell you. Robert- he married Debra.
(Joanne’s face turns from her normal creamy white to a flushed purple color)
Joanne: So, he’s married now?!?!?!? I don’t believe him!!!!
Ray: Yeah, but- hey! There’s me!
(Joanne looks him up and down- mostly down)
Joanne: You’re right. There is still you.
(We see them kiss and Ray pulls the covers over them)
(scene is Robert and Debra’s apartment next morning. They are lying in bed, kissing)
Robert: (to himself) Damn! If only it were nighttime!
Debra: (to herself) Damn! I wish the kids were away!
(the kids- yes, all three of them- walk in)
Ally: Mommy?
(Debra and Robert jump as they straighten the covers over them)
Debra: (coughs) Yes, sweetie?
Ally: Nothing. We just wanted to see how you and Uncle Robert- ummmm, I mean Daddy (she is obviously appalled at having to call him this) were making out.
(Debra and Robert look at each other in shock, not realizing what Ally means is ‘We wanted to see how you were doing’)
Debra: Ally, why would you want to know- (then it dawns on Debra what her daughter means) Oh! We’re making out just fine!
Robert: Oh yes! Just fine! (he still doesn’t get it) Now if you’ll leave us alone, we’ll continue making out!
(Ally and the kids walk out. Debra and Robert start kissing again)
Robert: Deb, I.. I have to tell you something. Tonight. In the Jacuzzi.
Debra: OK…. (Debra is mystified)
(scene is later, in the Jacuzzi. Debra walks in, wearing a bathing suit nothing like the one Joanne left there. She climbs in and kisses Robert)
Debra: OK, what did you want to tell me?
Robert: Let’s have a baby.
Debra: (accusingly) You said you weren’t ready!
Robert: I wasn’t, I wasn’t. But last night, when you walked into the bedroom, I thought ‘Damn! What the hell is wrong with me?’ Refusing a beautiful woman like you- boy, was I crazy!
Debra: Well, let’s hop to it! Not a minute to lose before the sun shines and the kids whine.
(we see the two head off towards the bedroom. As the screen fades to a commercial break, Robert slams the door shut)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
(scene is next morning. Robert and Debra are kissing once again, this time, a heck of a lot louder*. There is a knock on their bedroom door)
*no they are not having sex
Debra and Robert: Go away!!!!!!!!
Voices: Is that any way to treat your ex’s???
(Robert and Debra stop kissing and look at each other, horrified, as they realize that it’s Ray and Joanne. Debra runs up and gets the door, forgetting she’s only wearing a bra and underwear. Robert is lying on the bed in his boxers)
Debra: Umm, hello guys. Come on in, I guess.
(Ray is staring at Debra’s rather busty chest area and is practically drooling. Debra notices and crosses her arms over her chest. Meanwhile, Joanne is staring at Robert.*)
*I am not going into details, TJ would ban me!!!! (can u imagine me describing where Joanne is looking? NO WAY!!!)
Joanne: What were you two doing?
Debra: Uhhhhhh….
Ray: I can guess.
Robert: I can explain too. You see, last night, Deb and I decided we wanted to have a baby, so then we… ooh eee ooh ahh ahh ting tang walla walla bing bang! (you guys know, that Chipmunks song!)
Ray: So we’re equal now.
Debra: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Joanne: We did too.
Debra: Oh, that is sick, sick, sick, sick, sick. Who ever heard of a couple’s ex’s having sex????
Robert: YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED AT YOURSELFS!!!!!
Ray: I already told you, we’re getting even!!!!!!!!!! You and Debra had sex before we were even divorced!
Joanne: Yeah! That’s right! You did!
Debra: That’s right. We did.
Robert: Yes, we did and it was grrrrrrrreat!!!!
(Ally walks in)
Ally: Hi, Daddy!!!!!!!!! Mommy, why are Daddy and Aunt Joanne here? And why are you not dressed? And why isn’t Uncle Robert dressed? (Debra shoots her a glare) I mean, Daddy.
Ray: Hey, Ally! Come give your Daddy a hug!
(Ally runs over and hugs Ray)
Joanne: Hello, Ally, sweetheart.
Ally: Hello, Aunt Joanne.
Robert: WHAT IS THIS, A PARTY????? DEB AND I ARE PRACTICALLY NAKED AND YOU’RE ALL STANDING IN HERE!!!!!!!
(Marie and Frank walk in)
Debra: Oh, great, great. Now I’m gonna have my father in law staring at my boobs too, along with my husband and ex-husband.
Robert: Am I a problem? Do you want me to stop staring?
Debra: No, honey. Stare as long as you want. (Debra turns to Frank and Ray, who are drooling) You two, I do mind. Ray, damn, you’ve seen me naked before! What is the astonishment of seeing me in a bra??
Ray: Well, it’s the…
Debra: Don’t answer me, Ray.
Robert: Will everyone just GET OUT OF HERE?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
Marie: C’mon Frank. You don’t need to stare at Debra’s cleavage anymore.
Debra: THANK you Marie!
Marie: Anytime, dear. (under her breath) Slut.
(Marie and Frank leave)
Ally: Well, Mommy, I’m going to go play with Geoffrey and Michael.
(Ally walks out)
Robert: So why did you come here? To tell us that you had sex?
Joanne: No, we wanted to tell you the good news!
Debra: I’m afraid to hear it.
Joanne: I’m pregnant!!!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Debra: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You had sex LAST NIGHT. How can you be pregnant already???
Joanne: (guiltily) Well, three months ago, Ray said he was coming over a hard spot in his sex life. So I said, "Well, Ray, there’s always me!" and Ray was ballistic, screaming, "I’m married, Joanne!". But one night, he called me and said, "Joanne, I need your sex". So we got together, and….. yeah.
Debra: I do not believe this. So not only do I have sex before divorce, YOU DO TOO??!?!?!?!?!?!?
Robert: I need to lie down.
Debra: Me too.
Joanne: I guess we should leave them alone…
Debra: BYE Ray.
(Ray and Joanne leave)
Robert: Who would have thought….
Debra: Oh my God, not me.
Robert: Well, what are you gonna tell Ally?
Debra: Are you kidding me? I’m not telling her! She’d be traumatized until she was 27! Her Aunt Joanne having sex with her daddy? A big no-no in Ally’s book.
Robert: A big no-no in Robert’s book too. C’mon Deb, you two were married for OVER 11 YEARS!!!!!! And he cheats on you with my scummy ex-wife?!?!?!
Debra: You really think I’m better looking than her?
Robert: If I didn’t, she’d be lying in this bed, not you.
Debra: Awwww, Robert, that’s so sweet. (she kisses him)
(scene is next day at Ray’s house. There is a knock on the door. Puzzled *, Ray opens it to find Debra standing there)
*Marie, Frank, and Robert usually just walk in
Ray: Oh, hi, Debra.
Debra: Ray… (she grabs him and starts kissing him)
Ray: (pulls away) Debra!!!!!
Debra: Ray, why did you have sex with Joanne? Huh? Wasn’t I good enough for you? Was I bad or something? Well, you better knows one thing- your brother sure as hell doesn’t think I’m bad!!!!
Ray: No, honey, I never thought you were bad!
Debra: Sure seems like it to me!!!
Ray: Well, it’s not true! Believe me, you were great!!! C’mon- if you weren’t, then would we have three kids?
Debra: Well… no.
(Ray kisses Debra and they are kissing when Robert walks in)
Robert: DEBRA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Debra: ROBERT!!!!!!!
Ray: Oooh, Deb, you’re going down.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Robert: What were you two doing??????????
Ray: Kissing! We used to be married, you know.
Robert: I don’t believe this.
Debra: Robert, you don’t understand! Ray was kissing me!
Ray: It’s true, Robert. (Robert is taken aback because Ray never admits his mistakes)
Robert: Wow. Ray. I’m proud of you for sticking up for your ex-wife. Most guys would stick up for their brother.
Debra: I’m so sorry, Robert.
Robert: Aww, me too, Deb.
(Robert and Debra kiss just as Marie walks in)
Marie: Raymond, get me a beer. Put on an action flick. Invite over the guys.
Ray: What’s the occasion?
Marie: Why, your marriage, of course!
Ray, Robert, and Debra: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Marie: Joanne told me you two were getting married.
Ray: Not anytime soon, but eventually….
Robert: And anyway, we’ll be celebrating something else in a few months.
Marie: What’s that, dear.
Robert: Joanne and Debra’s kids! (he sees the confused look she’s giving him) I mean, mine and Debra’s baby and Ray and Joanne’s baby!
(Marie faints dead to the ground)
Ray: I guess I’ll be getting her beer now.
THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK
THE END
yes there will be a sequel! Was it good? "Show Me Love" was MUCH better, I know!
------------------
¤°¤°Debra Barone°¤°¤
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jo, only twice in my life have I spoken in an arbitrary manner. Once when my ex-husband mortgaged out house to pay the bookees and now. GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE BEFORE I BEAT YOU WITH MY FRYING PAN!!!"~Mrs. Garrett, FOL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I believe VERY strongly that Debra Barone and Robert Barone belong together. If they got married, she would be Debra Barone Barone. Saves on monograms.(LOLZIES LIKE ON FOL!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. G: I thought her boyfriend was Robert.
Blair: He is.
Mrs. G.: Where is he?
Tootie: Upstairs.
Mrs. G: Well, who's that?
Blair: Harper.
Mrs. G.: Who's he?
Blair and Tootie: Her boyfriend.
Mrs. G.: Of course. How silly of me. Got it.
*she slaps herself*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I was 16, I had a bad case of acne and I played the accordian in the marching band."~Dorothy Zbornac, The Golden Girls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hey allison DON'T CALL ME PERVERT!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smooches! ^_^