My Mom's birthday

[PunkyP0WER]

Tomorrow, June 25th would have been my mother's 59th birthday. She died August 19, 1999 on a Thursday. I miss her terribly and think of her everyday. She had a difficult upbringing and was a tormented soul but underneath all her troubles she had a very kind heart. She used to like to write poetry; she loved to decorate the house on holidays - every holiday had decorations but Christmas was her specialty, she made the house a winter wonderland and lavished us with extravagant gifts, the living room on Christmas morning looked like one out of a Hollywood mansion with the gifts going out from under the tree to the middle of the room. She used to buy me books from the Berenstain Bears series and that was our thing we collected together. We'd go to Caldor, and I'd sit in the bottom of the carriage and we'd go to the book section and pick out the latest one. She bought me my first copy of The Wizard of Oz on vhs in 1989, the special 50th anniversary edition, and I watched it every single day. She used to do the voice of the wicked witch spot on, I would insist constantly for her to do it again. Her favorite shows were Ben Casey (she had a crush on him), Knots Landing (my dad worked a part time 2nd shift job and we'd sit on her bed and watch it with her), Promised Land and The Young And The Restless (she didn't take phone calls when that was on.) She loved Cape Cod and liked to collect light houses. In her casket I put with her a little box of beach sand from Cape Cod along with a seashell. A few weeks before she died she had got me the Titanic heart necklace she had seen in a Harriet Carter catalog (she was the queen of catalog shopping) and I had them put it on her.

[Chocoholic]

Happy birthday to your mom. Are you doing anything special in honor of her memory?

[PunkyP0WER]

Happy birthday to your mom. Are you doing anything special in honor of her memory?
Thank you for helping me to honor her. I'm not sure what I will do. I'm thinking of planting flowers. We usually bring flowers but I think I want to plant ones that will keep growing back, we usually let balloons go up into the air too. Not sure what else.

[Chocoholic]

Planting flowers or a tree is a great idea. Did she have a charity that she supported? You could make a donation in her memory.

[ZeldaGilroy]

I think it's great you are honoring your mom on her birthday. I know you miss her, and your post about her life was beautiful!

[Shine]

Your post concerning your mother, Kimberlee, was very touching. I know that you really miss her. And I can understand that with tomorrow being her birthday, that it is a very emotional time for you. However, I have no doubt that she is looking down upon you from above and smiling at the wonderful people her two daughters turned out to be. I also think that planting flowers or a tree in honor of her is a terrific idea. :)

[Marvo301]

It sounds like your Mom was a very special person! It's great you remember the special times you spent together and the special things you did together. I think your Mom would be very proud of the person you turned out to be!

[PunkyP0WER]

thank you billie, mike and marvin for your very kind words. they mean so much at this moment and i feel less alone knowing i have you all to lean on.

[The Great One]

Happy birthday to your mom and all the best to you as you honor her at this special time.

[Yooch]

I just got an e-mail today from a former high school classmate of mine who'd recently lost her mom, and she said something about how it's hard, at any age, yours or theirs, to lose a parent. That's so true. My mom died almost ten years ago at the age of 81, and my dad in 1988 when he was 71. It's always difficult to think about, but I would agree with the other posters, that our loved ones are still connected with us, I also believe that ultimately we will all be together again. Hold on to those great memories you have with your mom and your dad. I think it's great that you have such happy memories of them! Oftentimes it is the tormented souls themselves and those with difficult childhoods who also have a great deal of empathy and understanding of what others are going through.

[Scoobiedoo30]

hope that your mom had a great Birthday

[beautifuldreamer]

Wow, you mother sounds like an incredible person, Kim... I didn't know she had passed away. I'm very sorry to hear that. :( I'm sure she's looking down from heaven right now and smiling at you, very proud of her little girl.;)

:hug:

[beautifuldreamer]

Your post concerning your mother, Kimberlee, was very touching. I know that you really miss her. And I can understand that with tomorrow being her birthday, that it is a very emotional time for you. However, I have no doubt that she is looking down upon you from above and smiling at the wonderful people her two daughters turned out to be. I also think that planting flowers or a tree in honor of her is a terrific idea. :)

Aw, Mike... I posted my message before reading yours... it is so strange how similar they are. :)

I agree, I think planting flowers or a tree in her honor is a wonderful thing to do, Kim... my mother planted a rose garden for my grandmother who passed away about 5 years ago.. and every time I was out watering it, even years after she had passed.. I always thought of her and all the wonderful memories. :)

[clj2]

You have my thoughts on this special but saddening day. A passed love one's birthday can be very saddening but try and make the best of it and reflect on all of the good years you had with her, as I'm sure she would want you to keep your chin up. :)

[Stuck In The '70's]

My thoughts are with you Kimberly. She sounds like she was a great person. I loved Knots Landing and Promise Land too. We probably would have gotten along real well. It's never easy when you lose a loved one. I lost my mother almost 7 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Birthdays and Holidays are the worse. But everybody's right. She is with you. She is your guardian Angel. As long as you remember, she'll always be with you. :)

[Shine]

Aw, Mike... I posted my message before reading yours... it is so strange how similar they are. :)

Great minds think alike, Mattie. :)

[Doodyville10019]

Your mom sounds like one awesome lady to me, Kimberlee! She reminds me in many respects of my mother-in-law, whom we lost 2 years ago this coming Thanksgiving.

My mother-in-law had a hard life as a child herself - she was left at birth on the doorstep of an orphanage during the Great Depression. And no, it wasn't anything like the Shirley Temple movie about her being in an orphanage - in fact, it was just the opposite - cold, harsh and mean. At 16, she was "kicked out" and had to start making a living on her own. She did, and wound up being one of the sweetest, loving and most giving people I've ever known.

I'm sure your mother and my mother-in-law have met in Heaven, Kimberlee. They have so much in common - they're probably BFF's by now. But, even though tomorrow would have been your mother's birthday, you give her a present every day - the gift of rememberance. Always keeping someone special in your heart is the best gift anyone could want - and I'm sure your mom knows she's always in your thoughts, too. :loveya:

[PunkyP0WER]

thank you so very much great one, yooch, scoobie, mattie, clj2, sonny, and joni for leaving such kind sentiments. they've really lifted my spirits and its helped to bring back fond memories for me of happy times i spent with her and i can only hope she has found the happiness and peace that eluded her here.

i hope she is sitting on a big fluffy cloud with your mother in law joni and sharing a slice of birthday cake, angel food of course lol and playing a beautful gilded harp.


i think i'm going to plant some perennials at her grave. i'd love to plant a tree or put a bench, but she's already near a tree, a weeping willow (how fitting) and the cemetery she's in is very strict on what you can do in certain sections because its on the national historical society's registry. they even dictated what type of stone she could have, her stone has a lighthouse carved in it. she's in the same section as katherine hepburn and one section away from jp morgan who has the biggest stone in the cemetery. his stone has this streak going down it from a bolt of lightning that hit it because its so tall. its a beautiful cemetery, the landscape is very serene, theres a very large pond with swans and geese and lots of beautiful statues. she's next to my grandparents (my dads parents)they died a few years after her. my paternal grandma on September 30, 2000 and in early November, just a little over a month later, my mom's mom died, she's in the same cemetery too but a different section. then my grandfather (my dad's dad) died in 2003 so he is next to my mom too.

joni the story you shared about your mother in law is similar to the events in my mothers life. though my mother was not orphaned, she too was basically on her own at 16, getting her first full time job and having to supplement her mothers income. my mother had a harsh upbringing, her father, raymond, was an alcoholic who beat her constantly. one thanksgiving my mom recalled him throwing the turkey out the window and on christmas he stomped on all their presents that were under the tree. her mother, betty, was a bar fly who was very promiscuous. my mom told me once that she told her father about one of her mothers flings and the next day as the 4 kids were leaving from school she stopped my mother and told her "no, you're staying home" and spent the whole day beating her with a strap.



they divorced and my mom had to live in government housing because my nana could not afford being a single mom with 4 kids (4 kids she claimed all belonged to raymond but none of them look alike and my mother believed she was the only true child of her father raymond, though her mother was sadistic and told my mom once when my mom was in her 30's that he may or may not be her father either) also after they divorced my nana was able to bring men freely in at the point and my mom was molested by one. anyway, they had no money and my mom had to go with out a lot of things, one thing in particular was dental care and by 18 she had dentures. the kids at school were very cruel to her because she didn't fit in and tormented her so much she dropped out when she was 16. her mom then told her to get a job or get out. so she worked as a secretary for mckesson and robbins and had to give all her money to her mother. soon after he father died at 42 shortly after my mom married my dad when she was 17.

[Shine]

joni the story you shared about your mother in law is similar to the events in my mothers life. though my mother was not orphaned, she too was basically on her own at 16, getting her first full time job and having to supplement her mothers income. my mother had a harsh upbringing, her father, raymond, was an alcoholic who beat her constantly. one thanksgiving my mom recalled him throwing the turkey out the window and on christmas he stomped on all their presents that were under the tree. her mother, betty, was a bar fly who was very promiscuous. my mom told me once that she told her father about one of her mothers flings and the next day as the 4 kids were leaving from school she stopped my mother and told her "no, you're staying home" and spent the whole day beating her with a strap.



they divorced and my mom had to live in government housing because my nana could not afford being a single mom with 4 kids (4 kids she claimed all belonged to raymond but none of them look alike and my mother believed she was the only true child of her father raymond, though her mother was sadistic and told my mom once when my mom was in her 30's that he may or may not be her father either) also after they divorced my nana was able to bring men freely in at the point and my mom was molested by one. anyway, they had no money and my mom had to go with out a lot of things, one thing in particular was dental care and by 18 she had dentures. the kids at school were very cruel to her because she didn't fit in and tormented her so much she dropped out when she was 16. her mom then told her to get a job or get out. so she worked as a secretary for mckesson and robbins and had to give all her money to her mother. soon after he father died at 42 shortly after my mom married my dad when she was 17.

:(

[clj2]

joni the story you shared about your mother in law is similar to the events in my mothers life. though my mother was not orphaned, she too was basically on her own at 16, getting her first full time job and having to supplement her mothers income. my mother had a harsh upbringing, her father, raymond, was an alcoholic who beat her constantly. one thanksgiving my mom recalled him throwing the turkey out the window and on christmas he stomped on all their presents that were under the tree. her mother, betty, was a bar fly who was very promiscuous. my mom told me once that she told her father about one of her mothers flings and the next day as the 4 kids were leaving from school she stopped my mother and told her "no, you're staying home" and spent the whole day beating her with a strap.

they divorced and my mom had to live in government housing because my nana could not afford being a single mom with 4 kids (4 kids she claimed all belonged to raymond but none of them look alike and my mother believed she was the only true child of her father raymond, though her mother was sadistic and told my mom once when my mom was in her 30's that he may or may not be her father either) also after they divorced my nana was able to bring men freely in at the point and my mom was molested by one. anyway, they had no money and my mom had to go with out a lot of things, one thing in particular was dental care and by 18 she had dentures. the kids at school were very cruel to her because she didn't fit in and tormented her so much she dropped out when she was 16. her mom then told her to get a job or get out. so she worked as a secretary for mckesson and robbins and had to give all her money to her mother. soon after he father died at 42 shortly after my mom married my dad when she was 17.

:eek: :( Wow, your poor mom had one heck of a life. I don't really know what to say. She sounds like she was one strong woman.

[Shine]

:eek: :( Wow, your poor mom had one heck of a life. I don't really know what to say. She sounds like she was one strong woman.

I know. :( I feel so bad for Kim and her family. :(

[LuLu Rogers]

God bless your mom Kim, she was a wonderful woman :bighug:

[PunkyP0WER]

i know its a soap opera isn't it? i could probably right something better than fiction on the life of my family. i had my high school psychologist tell me that once, so my family's life story really must have been bizarre for her to suggest that.

my mom triumphed over many obstacles however. though she had no high school diploma she became an executive secretary (she coud type 200 word per minute without error) at places like mckesson and robbins, travelers, and royal globe and was featured ina local news story about women with high power jobs. at the peak of my parents marriage they owned 2 houses (a colonial and a raised ranch as well as a condo on cape cod). she came a long way.

[PunkyP0WER]

thank you lauren, you're so sweet. i brougt up a lot of sad memories but it illustrated that my mom above all was a survivor. after she died i found a trunk she had kept and in it was a diary she wrote for the whole first year of my life in her beautiful cursive handwriting. thats really the only thing i have of her, that and her poetry. she's so full of hope in that diary, hope for her life, hope for her family and hope for me - hope that the baby she was writing about would have a happier life than she had.

[Schmoopie]

Kim,
The things you said about your mom are very touching and it almost made me cry. She sounds like she was a beautiful person and I know you loved her and miss her very much. I love how you mentioned things you used to do together and things you collected. I'm sure you think of her whenever you see those things now. I'm so very sorry you lost her at such a young age. I don't know how old you are, but losing your mother at age 59 is such a very sad thing. I just found out that my mom has breast cancer and she's 63. So far everything is okay, and she caught it early enough that it's being taken care of. She's getting married on July 11th, so I'm trying to focus on that instead of the bad.
Was your mom involved in any charities or things like that? I think a donation to a favorite charity would be a wonderful idea. Planting flowers is a nice idea as well. Did I read that right, that your mom is buried in the same cemetery as Katherine Hepburn? Normally I would say that it's "cool", but under the circumstances, I don't think that's the right word. I hope you know what I mean, though. I'm notorious for saying the wrong thing when I mean something else. I guess I should say that it would be an honor to be buried near someone like Katherine Hepburn. That's nice that there is a lighthouse on your mom's headstone. I can understand these cemeteries being picky about things you can and can't do. My dad died at age 46 in 1992, and for the longest time, there was no headstone on his plot. They just had a little silver plaque, that was written on in pen with the information. I even went to one of the big cemeteries in Dallas (Where I was living at the time. The cometary is east of Dallas) to see about getting a small sign because I didn't feel right, having that flimsy one there. Unfortunately, they didn't have anything like that.

Anyway, perhaps you could watch a favorite movie that your mom liked, such as "Wizard of Oz." I had that VHS copy from 1989 too! I'm sure she would love it if she knew you were watching it on her birthday and thinking of her.

I haven't read all of your posts regarding your mother in this thread, but maybe you should try writing down the story of her life. You never know where it might lead.

Andrea

[PunkyP0WER]

Kim,
The things you said about your mom are very touching and it almost made me cry. She sounds like she was a beautiful person and I know you loved her and miss her very much. I love how you mentioned things you used to do together and things you collected. I'm sure you think of her whenever you see those things now. I'm so very sorry you lost her at such a young age. I don't know how old you are, but losing your mother at age 59 is such a very sad thing. I just found out that my mom has breast cancer and she's 63. So far everything is okay, and she caught it early enough that it's being taken care of. She's getting married on July 11th, so I'm trying to focus on that instead of the bad.
Was your mom involved in any charities or things like that? I think a donation to a favorite charity would be a wonderful idea. Planting flowers is a nice idea as well. Did I read that right, that your mom is buried in the same cemetery as Katherine Hepburn? Normally I would say that it's "cool", but under the circumstances, I don't think that's the right word. I hope you know what I mean, though. I'm notorious for saying the wrong thing when I mean something else. I guess I should say that it would be an honor to be buried near someone like Katherine Hepburn. That's nice that there is a lighthouse on your mom's headstone. I can understand these cemeteries being picky about things you can and can't do. My dad died at age 46 in 1992, and for the longest time, there was no headstone on his plot. They just had a little silver plaque, that was written on in pen with the information. I even went to one of the big cemeteries in Dallas (Where I was living at the time. The cometary is east of Dallas) to see about getting a small sign because I didn't feel right, having that flimsy one there. Unfortunately, they didn't have anything like that.

Anyway, perhaps you could watch a favorite movie that your mom liked, such as "Wizard of Oz." I had that VHS copy from 1989 too! I'm sure she would love it if she knew you were watching it on her birthday and thinking of her.

I haven't read all of your posts regarding your mother in this thread, but maybe you should try writing down the story of her life. You never know where it might lead.

Andrea
andrea, i'm so sorry to hear about your mother's breast cancer. and i will surely keep her in my prayers. i'm so sorry to hear about your father as well, thats such a young age, 3 years younger than my mom when she went. i think it makes it more tragic when they die so young because its truly a life unfinished.


its funny you suggested watching wizard of oz because thats exactly what i watched today. i always tear up when judy sings 'over the rainbow'. especially the part "someday i'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me" and theres an extra on the dvd where she sings a reprise in the witches castle that was cut and the line "someday i'll wake and rub my eyes and in that land beyond the skies you'll find me" makes me bawl.

my vhs copy wore out long ago, as i watched the darn thing every single day at one point, but i'm sure you remember it came with a little booklet that was about 12 pages maybe. i kept that all these years, it has a little wear but when i bought the 2005 3 disc special edition i put my booklet in with all the other extras the dvd set came with. it was my way of keeping that little piece of her that introduced me to the film thats so close to my heart. aside from miracle on 34th street, wizard of oz is my favorite movie.

[catlover79]

:bighug: You were sure blessed with a wonderful mom, Kim. I know you always remember her with love.

[Jonathan]

Sorry to hear about your loss, Kimberlee. God Bless your mother.

[Shine]

My thoughts and prayers are with Kimberlee, her sister Marissa, their father and the rest of their family today.

[AB]

Very sorry about your loss, your mom sounded like a very special lady.

[PunkyP0WER]

Thank you Monika, Jonathan, Mike and AB. She's finally at peace now and I'm comforted knowing that. I know she is my guardian angel and I was blessed to have her for the short time I did. Her spirit will always be alive and she most certainly will live in my heart, so physical death is just a formailty.

[clj2]

Thank you Monika, Jonathan, Mike and AB. She's finally at peace now and I'm comforted knowing that. I know she is my guardian angel and I was blessed to have her for the short time I did. Her spirit will always be alive and she mose certainly will live in my heart, so physical death is just a formailty.Aw. Your mom definately handed her traits down. :)

[Schmoopie]

andrea, i'm so sorry to hear about your mother's breast cancer. and i will surely keep her in my prayers. i'm so sorry to hear about your father as well, thats such a young age, 3 years younger than my mom when she went. i think it makes it more tragic when they die so young because its truly a life unfinished.


its funny you suggested watching wizard of oz because thats exactly what i watched today. i always tear up when judy sings 'over the rainbow'. especially the part "someday i'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me" and theres an extra on the dvd where she sings a reprise in the witches castle that was cut and the line "someday i'll wake and rub my eyes and in that land beyond the skies you'll find me" makes me bawl.

my vhs copy wore out long ago, as i watched the darn thing every single day at one point, but i'm sure you remember it came with a little booklet that was about 12 pages maybe. i kept that all these years, it has a little wear but when i bought the 2005 3 disc special edition i put my booklet in with all the other extras the dvd set came with. it was my way of keeping that little piece of her that introduced me to the film thats so close to my heart. aside from miracle on 34th street, wizard of oz is my favorite movie.

Thank you. That was very sweet! I appreciate the kind thoughts. That is a great idea to keep the booklet out of the VHS copy and put it with your DVD set. I never thought to do that. The DVD copy I have now is pretty old, but it has a few extras on it. I love Wizard of Oz, and I'm glad you were able to watch it today.

I just came back from Maui with my husband and I had gone there with my dad and younger brother in 1988. It was nice to be back there with my husband but we had gone to this restaurant where my dad had celebrated his birthday and it was kind of bittersweet to be in there. Amazingly, it still looked the same, and I picked out some stuff for my husband and I to do that I had done with my dad. Brought back a lot of memories.

Andrea