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PunkyP0WER
05-12-2009, 09:40 PM
the phlebotomy program that i'm interested in has an application where you have to write a 500 word essay on why you should be picked for their course. this is what i wrote, what do you think?:

I've always been fascinated by the field of medicine and never more so than now in this technological age where exciting discoveries and rapid advancements are on the horizon and the capability of treating and even curing diseases and ailments that have long plagued mankind are in our grasp. However, the demand for skilled workers will increase as this new frontier in medicine expands and I am eager to take advantage of its promising future and the boundless opportunities that naturally follow. My experience in healthcare is limited, thus far, but I was inspired by the time I spent at Saint Francis Hospital when I was assigned there as a security officer. During that span, I had the unique advantage of seeing the inner workings of a hospital and became aware of the delicate balance that defines the relationship between hospital personnel and the patient community. It was obvious that the medical staff took pride in their work and had a sense of fulfillment. This was apparent in the way that their charges responded to their compassionate care. That is the kind of meaningful and rewarding work that I want to involve myself in. I became specifically interested in the area of phlebotomy after a client who resides at the shelter I work at completed a similar program offered by Godwin College and favorably suggested it to me. After some consideration, I've decided it is the right time to make this leap. The shelter I'm assigned to has recently closed, and though I am still working for the portion of their program that remains, there are major changes underway and the future seems uncertain. This is the moment of opportunity to get my foot in the door of what will be a lifelong career in healthcare. If I'm accepted into Hartford Hospital's School of Allied Health's phlebotomy program I will approach it with the enthusiasm, dedication and diligence that it deserves and will meet and exceed the programs expectations, whatever they may be. I anxiously await an opening in your program and appreciate you considering me as a worthy candidate.

Shine
05-12-2009, 10:35 PM
It sounds great, Kim. It is very well written and your interest in the program really comes across. :)

browneyes106
05-13-2009, 12:45 AM
Your essay is really good. Good luck on your application.

beautifuldreamer
05-13-2009, 01:35 AM
Wow, Kim... that's totally stellar! I wish you luck on your application! :D

... ummmm, and by the way, Kim... Would you maybe like to write some of my college essays for me??... there might be some money in it for you! :lol: :eek:

:bighug:

Shine
05-13-2009, 01:49 AM
Wow, Kim... that's totally stellar! I wish you luck on your application! :D

... ummmm, and by the way, Kim... Would you maybe like to write some of my college essays for me??... there might be some money in it for you! :lol: :eek:

:bighug:

She has a real gift as a writer. :)

beautifuldreamer
05-13-2009, 03:16 AM
She has a real gift as a writer. :)

Agreed! ;)

Marvo301
05-13-2009, 05:38 PM
Kim, you express yourself very well in your essay and your heart and passion for this career come shinning through. And hey if this doesn't work out you could have a great future as a writer!! Of course I'm sure you will be great at whatever you do!!!

waichingliu81
05-13-2009, 05:52 PM
wow, that was great! you sound very intelligent and passionate, which is the right type of attitude to have. if you don't get in with this essay, then well, it's the college's loss.