callmetootie
10-09-2001, 10:06 PM
Season 5
Episode 33
"Jack and Mrs. Parker Return"
Special Guest Stars: John Ritter as Jack Tripper and Jean Stapleton as Mrs. Parker.
[In the living room, with Roger and Mrs. Williams]
Roger: Can you belive that news story last night on the news? I mean, whoever thought that The Backstreet Boys were a clan of nazis, is really over the top.
Mrs. Williams: That's nothing, did you see that substitue guy who was on the news yesterday...I got goosebumps and had a thing of pepto bismol after it.
Lana: Why would you have pepto bismol?
Mrs. Williams: I had chinese food.
Mr. Furley: Won ton ton!
[He laughs]
Lana: Oh shutup Ralph. Anyway, how was that movie that you saw yesterday Roger?
Roger: Oh, you mean "Honey, I Shrunk The Titanic"? Man, Rick Moranis was great in that...I mean who ever thought that Titanic could float in Mr. Bubble?
[A knock at the door]
Lana: Should I get it?
Mr. Furley: Do I care?
Lana: Do you wanna get it?
Mr. Furley: Fine.
Lana: I'll get it.
Roger: Why don't you both get it!
Lana: I'll get it.
Mr. Furley: Fine.
[Lana gets up]
[Mr. Furley sticks his tongue out]
[She opens the door and it's Jack]
[They hug]
Lana: Come in honey...what a pleasant surprise!
Jack: I'm not the only surprise!
[Mrs. Parker walks in]
Lana: Call the police.
Jack: No Lana...Mrs. Parker is cured. A few nights ago, she went into the bathtub, and the hair dryer fell in...she got electricuted.
Lana: Why is she still here then?
Jack: She screamed...and I came down. It seems as though Mrs. Parker doesn't have mixed personalities anymore.
[Mr. Furley gets up]
Mr. Furley: Hey Jacko. So, why couldn't you just leave her in the bathtub, while it happened?
Mrs. Parker: Oh Ralph...it's so nice to see you again...you probably haven't heard me speak this cleary in a very long time.
Lana: How did you get your mixed personalities again?
Mrs. Parker: Well...the script said it so...
Jack: Um...we're on a TV show...don't blab it out.
Mrs. Parker: Oh that's right...um...I don't exactly remember.
Lana: Oh, Mrs. Parker walk over here...I'd like you to meet Roger Lane and Judy Williams.
[Mrs. Parker shakes Roger's hand]
Mrs. Parker: It's nice to meet you Roger...what do you do for a living?
Roger: I'm a doctor.
Mrs. Parker: What kind of Doctor?
Roger: I don't know...I'm not a genuis...I'm a doctor.
Mrs. Parker: It was still nice to meet you anyway.
[Mrs. Parker shakes Mrs. Williams' hand]
Mrs. Parker: Hi there.
Mrs. Williams: Hello there...is that guy that you walked in with single?
Mrs. Parker: Yes he is...why?
Mrs. Williams: Oh Jacky boy...come down to my apartment and I'll show him something that you'll really be interested in.
Jack: Sounds good.
[As they walk out, she pinches Jack's butt]
Lana: That's Mrs. Williams all right.
Mrs. Parker: That woman is a crazy slut...those kind of people that put on leopard panties...dancing around the room...it's just very strange.
Roger: Don't worry...she won't harm Jack....much!
Mr. Furley: I can't belive how different you are Mrs. Parker.
Mrs. Parker: Call me Mary please...I'm not your landlord anymore...I'm just a regular person now...and to be honest...I always was....it's just that there was that time when I just had to be free, and do whatever I want.
Lana: Dressing up as a clown isn't exactly normal.
Mr. Furley: Look who's talking Bozo.
Lana: Oh man....I feel so embarrased.
Mr. Furley: Oh you should be...I'm a teacher now actually...I teach kids...you know the little ones.
Mrs. Parker: I thought so. But...you know that I can't stay long at all...I have a family to go home to.
Lana: A family?
Mrs. Parker: Yeah, Everybody Loves Raymond at 8:30 tonight.
[Jack runs back into the room, and locks the door, with his clothes all ripped apart]
Jack: I need a knife now...give me a bullet...and let it roll baby...I'm gonna get outta this town even if the golden oldie over there doesn't.
[Mrs. Williams jumps and breaks down the door]
Lana: Mrs. Williams!
Mrs. Williams: Don't worry sugar...it's on me.
[Jack runs into the bathroom, and Mrs. Williams jumps and knocks down that door]
Mrs. Williams: 360 baby...and Lana that's double.
[Lana hears the toilet flush]
[Mrs. Williams comes out with water all over her]
Mrs. Williams: It's not on me.
Lana: Yes it is...you've got water on you everywhere.
Mrs. Williams: Oh, go eat a pork chop you cowface.
[She leaves the apartment]
[Jack comes out]
Jack: You guys live a crazy life.
[He falls down]
The End
How did u like it?
------------------
Andrew Carden
Episode 33
"Jack and Mrs. Parker Return"
Special Guest Stars: John Ritter as Jack Tripper and Jean Stapleton as Mrs. Parker.
[In the living room, with Roger and Mrs. Williams]
Roger: Can you belive that news story last night on the news? I mean, whoever thought that The Backstreet Boys were a clan of nazis, is really over the top.
Mrs. Williams: That's nothing, did you see that substitue guy who was on the news yesterday...I got goosebumps and had a thing of pepto bismol after it.
Lana: Why would you have pepto bismol?
Mrs. Williams: I had chinese food.
Mr. Furley: Won ton ton!
[He laughs]
Lana: Oh shutup Ralph. Anyway, how was that movie that you saw yesterday Roger?
Roger: Oh, you mean "Honey, I Shrunk The Titanic"? Man, Rick Moranis was great in that...I mean who ever thought that Titanic could float in Mr. Bubble?
[A knock at the door]
Lana: Should I get it?
Mr. Furley: Do I care?
Lana: Do you wanna get it?
Mr. Furley: Fine.
Lana: I'll get it.
Roger: Why don't you both get it!
Lana: I'll get it.
Mr. Furley: Fine.
[Lana gets up]
[Mr. Furley sticks his tongue out]
[She opens the door and it's Jack]
[They hug]
Lana: Come in honey...what a pleasant surprise!
Jack: I'm not the only surprise!
[Mrs. Parker walks in]
Lana: Call the police.
Jack: No Lana...Mrs. Parker is cured. A few nights ago, she went into the bathtub, and the hair dryer fell in...she got electricuted.
Lana: Why is she still here then?
Jack: She screamed...and I came down. It seems as though Mrs. Parker doesn't have mixed personalities anymore.
[Mr. Furley gets up]
Mr. Furley: Hey Jacko. So, why couldn't you just leave her in the bathtub, while it happened?
Mrs. Parker: Oh Ralph...it's so nice to see you again...you probably haven't heard me speak this cleary in a very long time.
Lana: How did you get your mixed personalities again?
Mrs. Parker: Well...the script said it so...
Jack: Um...we're on a TV show...don't blab it out.
Mrs. Parker: Oh that's right...um...I don't exactly remember.
Lana: Oh, Mrs. Parker walk over here...I'd like you to meet Roger Lane and Judy Williams.
[Mrs. Parker shakes Roger's hand]
Mrs. Parker: It's nice to meet you Roger...what do you do for a living?
Roger: I'm a doctor.
Mrs. Parker: What kind of Doctor?
Roger: I don't know...I'm not a genuis...I'm a doctor.
Mrs. Parker: It was still nice to meet you anyway.
[Mrs. Parker shakes Mrs. Williams' hand]
Mrs. Parker: Hi there.
Mrs. Williams: Hello there...is that guy that you walked in with single?
Mrs. Parker: Yes he is...why?
Mrs. Williams: Oh Jacky boy...come down to my apartment and I'll show him something that you'll really be interested in.
Jack: Sounds good.
[As they walk out, she pinches Jack's butt]
Lana: That's Mrs. Williams all right.
Mrs. Parker: That woman is a crazy slut...those kind of people that put on leopard panties...dancing around the room...it's just very strange.
Roger: Don't worry...she won't harm Jack....much!
Mr. Furley: I can't belive how different you are Mrs. Parker.
Mrs. Parker: Call me Mary please...I'm not your landlord anymore...I'm just a regular person now...and to be honest...I always was....it's just that there was that time when I just had to be free, and do whatever I want.
Lana: Dressing up as a clown isn't exactly normal.
Mr. Furley: Look who's talking Bozo.
Lana: Oh man....I feel so embarrased.
Mr. Furley: Oh you should be...I'm a teacher now actually...I teach kids...you know the little ones.
Mrs. Parker: I thought so. But...you know that I can't stay long at all...I have a family to go home to.
Lana: A family?
Mrs. Parker: Yeah, Everybody Loves Raymond at 8:30 tonight.
[Jack runs back into the room, and locks the door, with his clothes all ripped apart]
Jack: I need a knife now...give me a bullet...and let it roll baby...I'm gonna get outta this town even if the golden oldie over there doesn't.
[Mrs. Williams jumps and breaks down the door]
Lana: Mrs. Williams!
Mrs. Williams: Don't worry sugar...it's on me.
[Jack runs into the bathroom, and Mrs. Williams jumps and knocks down that door]
Mrs. Williams: 360 baby...and Lana that's double.
[Lana hears the toilet flush]
[Mrs. Williams comes out with water all over her]
Mrs. Williams: It's not on me.
Lana: Yes it is...you've got water on you everywhere.
Mrs. Williams: Oh, go eat a pork chop you cowface.
[She leaves the apartment]
[Jack comes out]
Jack: You guys live a crazy life.
[He falls down]
The End
How did u like it?
------------------
Andrew Carden