Am I unreasonable?

[Chocoholic]

Monday, I wore this new shirt to work. A co-worker was carrying a cup of hot coffee and crashed into me, spilling the coffee all over my shirt, leaving a huge mess. She apologized and got me a sweatshirt while I tried to clean my shirt. I told her it was an accident and I was sure the stain would come out with stain remover. I tried washing it Monday night and it didn't come clean. It's totally ruined. I still had the price tag (I got it for about $15 at Kohl's.) and brought it into work yesterday. I politely told her that the shirt was ruined and I expected her to pay. She flipped out and said it was an accident and she wasn't paying me for the shirt. She then went whining to a couple of the other teachers about how rude and cheap I am for expecting her to pay when it was a accident. She acted like it was my fault that she dumped coffee all over me when she was the one who wasn't watching where she was going. She could have dumped that coffee all over a child.

I was taught that if you damaged or lost something that belongs to someone else, you should pay to have it repaired or replaced. If it was the other way around, I would have given her the money for the shirt. We had a snow day today, but I don't know what to say to her tomorrow. And this woman is a teacher :rolleyes:

[sunshinefizzy]

If I were her, I would have paid for it. I can see your POV. I wonder if the tables were turned, would she have asked you the same thing? If so, then she's got some issues.

[MonarC]

She should have offered to pay for the damages right away. IMO.

Once it was a really windy day and I was pulling into the parking lot at my job at the time. When I started to opened my door the wind took it out of my hand and whiped it open all the way and fast. It hit my managers brand new Lexus and left an ugly mark. I felt horrible and told her about it right away and told her I would pay to get it fixed. Turned out her hubby was very handy with a buffer and got the spot right off no problem. But she thanked me for being so honest and willing to pay for the damages. It's only the polite thing to do. Some people aren't raised to be responsible for their actions.

[Chocoholic]

The real funny thing is, she often goes on about the lack of common courtesy these days. (She's in her 50s.)

[MonarC]

Some people. :cuckoo

[so elektrikkxx]

Of course you're not being ridiculous. If I were her I'd have apologized and offered to pay. She's the one being cheap and a liar at that if she is making it sound like it's your fault. Tell the bitch to watch where she's going if she doesn't want to run the risk of paying for damaged property.

If you hit a baseball through someone's window by accident, you are expected to pay so I don't see how this is any different.

[Shine]

I think that she certainly owes you a new shirt, Kristen. Sure, it may have been an accident, but if she had been paying more attention to where she was going, it would not have happened in the first place.

[MickeyMac]

The real funny thing is, she often goes on about the lack of common courtesy these days. (She's in her 50s.)



She sounds like a hypocrite to me.

[so elektrikkxx]

Tell her she's the one being unreasonable. Was she raised by wolves or something?

[Hollow]

yeah, what she doesn't seem to be considering is that if she doesn't pay for it, you'll have to. it may have been an accident, but it was on her part and you shouldn't have to suffer because of it.

[OH Nuts!]

Worse than ruining the shirt, she could have burned you or someone else (perhaps a child). I would have just told her the shirt was ruined the next day and then see what she did. The right thing would have been to offer to reimburse you. The fact that she didn't shows her character (or more aptly, lack thereof). I'd drop it even though you deserve the $. Why? Because I think most people are going to side with you and have a very low opinion of this woman. This incident shows she's not very responsible or principled - people notice things like this! If she makes another dishy remark to you, you might mention that she should be more careful next time as she could have hurt someone (scalded them).

[TJL]

^ I agree. If she didn't offer to pay for the damages right when it happened, then there's no way she's going to do it now. It sucks, but you tried. And people do notice the bad behavior of others.

[Lee]

Monday, I wore this new shirt to work. A co-worker was carrying a cup of hot coffee and crashed into me, spilling the coffee all over my shirt, leaving a huge mess. She apologized and got me a sweatshirt while I tried to clean my shirt. I told her it was an accident and I was sure the stain would come out with stain remover. I tried washing it Monday night and it didn't come clean. It's totally ruined. I still had the price tag (I got it for about $15 at Kohl's.) and brought it into work yesterday. I politely told her that the shirt was ruined and I expected her to pay. She flipped out and said it was an accident and she wasn't paying me for the shirt. She then went whining to a couple of the other teachers about how rude and cheap I am for expecting her to pay when it was a accident. She acted like it was my fault that she dumped coffee all over me when she was the one who wasn't watching where she was going. She could have dumped that coffee all over a child.

I was taught that if you damaged or lost something that belongs to someone else, you should pay to have it repaired or replaced. If it was the other way around, I would have given her the money for the shirt. We had a snow day today, but I don't know what to say to her tomorrow. And this woman is a teacher :rolleyes:

I think you are being unreasonable in this case. Accidents happen, it is
not worth making this woman your enemy over something as trivial as
a $15 shirt.

[so elektrikkxx]

I think you are being unreasonable in this case. Accidents happen, it is
not worth making this woman your enemy over something as trivial as
a $15 shirt.

for one the woman is legally responsible for paying her the money, but i wouldn't take her to small claims court over it or anything. and i wouldn't worry if i made someone of such low character my enemy if i were her anyway. yes it is an 'accident' but anyone with class would show more remorse than the woman did.

[Brian Damage]

I think Lee has got a point. I believe you are being a bit unreasonable. I mean it was an accident, you acknowledged that part, I mean it is 15 bucks, it won't break the bank. Accidents do happen.

[so elektrikkxx]

.

[Janice]

i think the woman should have to pay and next time should ****ing watch where she's going if she's going to have an attitude about it later. ;)
What's with the threats of violence, baseball bat through a window, watch where she's going. Get some perspective here. It's 15 bucks.

[so elektrikkxx]

What's with the threats of violence, baseball bat through a window, watch where she's going. Get some perspective here. It's 15 bucks.

Threats of violence? I read every response I made here and not one included that.
The baseball bat through a window comparison is that, if someone damages your property, they are responsible to pay for it to be replaced or repaired.

And if someone spills coffee on someone else because they weren't paying attention to where they were going, they should watch where they're going the next time.

[Zoneboy]

I told her it was an accident and I was sure the stain would come out with stain remover.

That was your downfall right there. By telling her that you were sure the stain would come out you basically absolved her of any blame and of course you also acknowledged that it was an accident. I believe she should compensate you but not because you want her to just because It would be the honest thing to do.

[Janice]

Threats of violence? I read every response I made here and not one included that.
The baseball bat through a window comparison is that, if someone damages your property, they are responsible to pay for it to be replaced or repaired.

And if someone spills coffee on someone else because they weren't paying attention to where they were going, they should watch where they're going the next time.
Sorry then. I misread your posts. I'm reading about baseball bats, and she better ******* watch where's she's going, and I'm thinking you're going all violent.

Anyway, I would have offered to pay for the shirt right away. I wouldn't however, ask for the money. That's just me. Not saying it's wrong as everyone is different. I just know that I wouldn't ask someone for $15. I would just accept it as an unfortunate accident.

[HuntingtonM15]

I wouldn't however, ask for the money. That's just me. Not saying it's wrong as everyone is different. I just know that I wouldn't ask someone for $15. I would just accept it as an unfortunate accident.

I agree. It definitely is her fault and is her responsibility to pay, but I could never personally imagine myself asking for $15. Now, if it was something a bit more costly on the other hand, I would probably say something.

[so elektrikkxx]

Sorry then. I misread your posts. I'm reading about baseball bats, and she better ******* watch where's she's going, and I'm thinking you're going all violent.

Anyway, I would have offered to pay for the shirt right away. I wouldn't however, ask for the money. That's just me. Not saying it's wrong as everyone is different. I just know that I wouldn't ask someone for $15. I would just accept it as an unfortunate accident.

It's alright. Sorry if I seemed excessively angry in this thread, it just reminded me of a similar incident with someone at work.

The annoying part here wasn't that the woman wouldn't pay but that it sounded like (from what I read) that she had an attitude about it, which is why I said she should watch where she's going next time.

[Sharop]

It doesn't seem to me that you were making a huge deal out of it, so I don't think you were being unreasonable. I do think that the woman should have volunteered herself to pay; I think that would have been the polite thing to do. Like some of the others, if it had happened to me, I probably wouldn't have asked for the money myself, because I'm quite timid that way.

[Chocoholic]

I saw her today and she made no mention of paying me. I'll just let the matter drop. If the shirt was an old one, I wouldn't have cared if she offered to pay or not. It's just that this was a brand-new shirt I bought last week and I'm out $15 because of her carelessness. I know accidents do happen, but people should own up to them and take responsibility.

[Sara Micelli]

Anyway, I would have offered to pay for the shirt right away. I wouldn't however, ask for the money. That's just me. Not saying it's wrong as everyone is different. I just know that I wouldn't ask someone for $15. I would just accept it as an unfortunate accident.

I completely agree with this. I think the woman should offer to pay for the damage to the shirt, but I don't think she should be forced to pay for it. IMO, asking for the money is a bit unreasonable. As others have said, accidents happen.

[dawsongirl]

I think Lee has got a point. I believe you are being a bit unreasonable. I mean it was an accident, you acknowledged that part, I mean it is 15 bucks, it won't break the bank. Accidents do happen.
I was afraid to say it, but I'm with Lee and Brian. It's not like it's a car or something.