callmetootie
06-26-2001, 07:01 PM
Season 1
Episode 5
"Lana's Dream Comes True"
Special Guest Star: Richard Kline as Larry Dallas.
[In the living room]
Lana: So, fox-man, what have you been doing?
Jack: Well, Larry's coming over!
Lana: You mean that Larry Texas guy?
Jack: That's Larry Dallas.
Lana: Before your friend come, how about you comes into my room, turn the lights off, and turn me on?
Jack: Are you seeing a special doctor?
Lana: I love it when you're clueless. Come with me.
Jack: Stop it Lana. Enough is enough. I'm tired of this Lana. Stop it now. I'm tired of this nonsense.
[Mr. Furley walks in]
Mr. Furley: Hey kids.
Lana: Hi Ralph.
Jack: Hi RF.
Mr. Furley: So, I hear that Larry is coming today. You're little "tinkerbell" buddy.
Jack: Wow. It's been 2 hours since you called me the tinkerbell.
Mr. Furley: I thought I would cut down on making fun of you.
[Doorbell rings]
Larry: How's my bud?
Jack: Larry!!! How are you doing? I haven't seen you for such a long time.
Larry: Listen, I heard that your restaurant is gone. That's bad.
Jack: I know. I work at a pretzel stand now.
Larry: Well Jack, I'm married.
Jack: Larry, that's great. Who's the lucky girl?
Larry: Well, that's where the strange part comes in. I married Chrissy.
Jack: You married Chrissy? Wow, that's strange. In a good way you know.
Larry: And we had kids together.
Jack: What are their names?
Larry: Holly, Brenda, Brian, Peachie, and Larry JR.
Jack: And how long has it been since I've seen you?
Larry: About 3 or 4, maybe 5 years.
Jack: That takes me by surprise.
Larry: Hey there Mr. Furley...and LANA??? You married Lana?
Jack: No, I didn't, but if you have a minute, I'd like to talk about something to you.
Larry: Ok Jack.
Jack: How about now?
Larry: Ok.
[In the kitchen]
Jack: Larry. Lana is bothering me.
Larry: That's not a surprise Jack.
Jack: But now, she's been too strange. Every morning, I wake up to Lana, giving me breakfast in bed.
Larry: That's nice.
Jack: But she thinks, I'm her breakfast! What should I do? I want to get her off my back.
Larry: Do it. Take these.
Jack: No way Larry, I'm not doing that, it's gross. I'm not taking any pills either. What are these anyway?
Larry: Viagra.
Jack: No Larry, no way.
Larry: This is the only way that you're going to get her off of your back. She won't like you anymore, after she finds out that instead of eating pancakes and sausage for breakfast, she'll be having an egg mcmuffin. C'mon Jack. Take them.
Jack: I feel so werid about this.
[Larry holds out a cup of water]
[Jack takes them]
[5 hours later]
[Jack jumps into Lana's bed]
Lana: What are you doing Jack? I'm watching my dirty movies.
Jack: Lana, you look sooooooo good!!!
Lana: Jack, I never thought I'd be saying this, but I have a headache.
Jack: I will cure your headache with my warm and juicy lips.
Lana: You didn't take them?
Jack: What?
Lana: You took the viagra? Jack, that;s now what I want. I don't want the sexy side of you. I want the side of Jack, that I know. The side that I think is sexy.
Jack: I don't get it. Larry told me...
Lana: Larry doesn't know the difference between a bath bubble and bubble gum.
[Mrs. Parker runs in the door]
Mrs. Parker: I needed to tell you that you need to pay...OH MY GOD!!! They're doing it! This moment deservces a picture.
Jack: Stop it Mrs. Parker!
Mrs. Parker: Say cheese!
[Hugging Jack]
Lana: Cheese!
THE END.
------------------
Andrew Carden
Episode 5
"Lana's Dream Comes True"
Special Guest Star: Richard Kline as Larry Dallas.
[In the living room]
Lana: So, fox-man, what have you been doing?
Jack: Well, Larry's coming over!
Lana: You mean that Larry Texas guy?
Jack: That's Larry Dallas.
Lana: Before your friend come, how about you comes into my room, turn the lights off, and turn me on?
Jack: Are you seeing a special doctor?
Lana: I love it when you're clueless. Come with me.
Jack: Stop it Lana. Enough is enough. I'm tired of this Lana. Stop it now. I'm tired of this nonsense.
[Mr. Furley walks in]
Mr. Furley: Hey kids.
Lana: Hi Ralph.
Jack: Hi RF.
Mr. Furley: So, I hear that Larry is coming today. You're little "tinkerbell" buddy.
Jack: Wow. It's been 2 hours since you called me the tinkerbell.
Mr. Furley: I thought I would cut down on making fun of you.
[Doorbell rings]
Larry: How's my bud?
Jack: Larry!!! How are you doing? I haven't seen you for such a long time.
Larry: Listen, I heard that your restaurant is gone. That's bad.
Jack: I know. I work at a pretzel stand now.
Larry: Well Jack, I'm married.
Jack: Larry, that's great. Who's the lucky girl?
Larry: Well, that's where the strange part comes in. I married Chrissy.
Jack: You married Chrissy? Wow, that's strange. In a good way you know.
Larry: And we had kids together.
Jack: What are their names?
Larry: Holly, Brenda, Brian, Peachie, and Larry JR.
Jack: And how long has it been since I've seen you?
Larry: About 3 or 4, maybe 5 years.
Jack: That takes me by surprise.
Larry: Hey there Mr. Furley...and LANA??? You married Lana?
Jack: No, I didn't, but if you have a minute, I'd like to talk about something to you.
Larry: Ok Jack.
Jack: How about now?
Larry: Ok.
[In the kitchen]
Jack: Larry. Lana is bothering me.
Larry: That's not a surprise Jack.
Jack: But now, she's been too strange. Every morning, I wake up to Lana, giving me breakfast in bed.
Larry: That's nice.
Jack: But she thinks, I'm her breakfast! What should I do? I want to get her off my back.
Larry: Do it. Take these.
Jack: No way Larry, I'm not doing that, it's gross. I'm not taking any pills either. What are these anyway?
Larry: Viagra.
Jack: No Larry, no way.
Larry: This is the only way that you're going to get her off of your back. She won't like you anymore, after she finds out that instead of eating pancakes and sausage for breakfast, she'll be having an egg mcmuffin. C'mon Jack. Take them.
Jack: I feel so werid about this.
[Larry holds out a cup of water]
[Jack takes them]
[5 hours later]
[Jack jumps into Lana's bed]
Lana: What are you doing Jack? I'm watching my dirty movies.
Jack: Lana, you look sooooooo good!!!
Lana: Jack, I never thought I'd be saying this, but I have a headache.
Jack: I will cure your headache with my warm and juicy lips.
Lana: You didn't take them?
Jack: What?
Lana: You took the viagra? Jack, that;s now what I want. I don't want the sexy side of you. I want the side of Jack, that I know. The side that I think is sexy.
Jack: I don't get it. Larry told me...
Lana: Larry doesn't know the difference between a bath bubble and bubble gum.
[Mrs. Parker runs in the door]
Mrs. Parker: I needed to tell you that you need to pay...OH MY GOD!!! They're doing it! This moment deservces a picture.
Jack: Stop it Mrs. Parker!
Mrs. Parker: Say cheese!
[Hugging Jack]
Lana: Cheese!
THE END.
------------------
Andrew Carden