Jo and the Chocolate Factory review

[jameslubbockfan]

I've saw the 2005 version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I decided to give "The FOL in Silent Hill" a break, and write this story out. There's going to be a lot of references in this one.

The plot is about our Jo Polniaczek, the protagonist who always dreamed of being on top of the empire of riches than just being a tomboy for all of her life. Jo hears about the contest where the great chocolatier Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson has placed FIVE Golden Tickets in each of the 5 Wonka Sparrow Hanson bars all over the world. Jo is not the only one in this search, for there will be others on the search.

"Spoilers ahead" (update)

Freddie "Rerun" Stubbs finds the Golden Ticket by eating the fourth bar in a Wonka Sparrow Hanson bar eating contest at Rob's Place. He accompanies Raj to be with him.

Cindy Lubbock, the gluttonous candy aficionado won her ticket when Marie Lubbock wanted to see what chocolate tastes like until she sees something gold, and the Lubbock Babes exclaim that Marie has found a ticket for Cindy. Elizabeth Lubbock is asked to come with Cindy.

Chelsea Daniels bought home some Wonka Sparrow Hanson bars for Raven when she took Chelsea's bar, and found the Golden Ticket. She sings, exclaiming she found it for Chelsea, making it hers for the taking. Chelsea elects Raven to be with her.

Arnold Jackson wanted Phillip Drummond to tell his millionaire friends to start looking for the Golden Ticket until one man found it. Arnold is considered one of the snobbiest Jacksons. Arnold takes Willis to be with him.

Jo also won the Golden Ticket, and all 5 people go to Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson's chocolate factory for some laughs and consequences.

Are you guys up for it? Let me know.

[RoryGilmore]

I'll read it

[jameslubbockfan]

Chapter one: Peekskill 2007/Jo's intro/Peekskill 1984

This tale is going to be like the 2005 movie. The name of Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson is from my brainstorming of Johnny Depp's different roles.

We fade in to the Peekskill skyline at daytime. It was snowing outside, and we see a Pontiac Trans Am ripping through the snowy road. Joanna Marie Polniaczek is seen coming back from her lowly paid job as a measly market clerk for a local market in the Bronx. The narrator tells us...

Narrator: This is a story of an ordinary young woman named Jo Polniaczek. She was not intelligent or wise or more clever than other women. Her friends were not rich or powerful or well-connected. In fact, they barely had enough to eat. Jo Polniaczek was the luckiest woman in the entire world. She just didn't know it yet.

Time now segues into twilight when Jo drove up to the Eastland School.

The Eastland School from the early 80's season is now renovated with eclectic furnishings, and modern wall coverings, and is now a co-ed school. The four girls, including the girls from the first season and all the guys from the later seasons are at the school, each with a different function. The luxuries for the students are mostly video games, music CDs, clothing, and the like, but there's not enough food to go by. Mrs. Edna Garrett only makes ham sandwiches for that's the only luxury food she can make. Natalie Green, Dorothy Ramsey, Blair Warner, and Kelly Affiando were among the four caretakers. Beverly Ann Stickle came in the school with some grocery bags.

Beverly Ann: Evening, guys.

Blair: Evening.

Jo: Hi, Bev.

Mrs. Garrett was testing out the ham before she sees Beverly Ann. Beverly Ann comes over to the kitchen and gives Mrs. Garrett a hug.

Mrs. Garrett: Supper's almost ready, Beverly.

Beverly looks at the overcooked ham Mrs. Garrett is preparing.

Mrs. Garrett: Don't suppose there's anything extra to put in, Bev. Oh, well. Nothing goes better with a sandwich than ham.

Beverl Ann hurries to the den, and approaches Jo, who's looking through a luxurious food catalog. Beverly Ann pulls up a chair and sits down.

Beverly Ann: Jo...I found something I think you'll like.

She reaches her pocket for a origami piece shaped like a head.

The flashback begins a few hours ago when Beverly Ann was working for an origami making factory with other women furiously working for a over-upset boss barking orders. Beverly Ann, for looking so old, was so slow at making origami pieces otherwise. The narrator tells us...

Narrator: Beverly Ann Stickle worked at the local origami factory. The hours were long, and the pay was terrible...yet occasionally, there were unexpected surprises.

We go back to the present when Jo glances at the origami head. A smile flashed Jo's face and exclaims...

Jo: It's exactly what I need!

Blair: What is it, Jo?

Jo gets out her origami factory she made out of millions of origami pieces Beverly Ann has confiscated at work. She and her students had put a lot of effort on it. Jo place the headpiece on top of the figure. She calls it the Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson figure.

Jo: Bev found it, just the piece I needed.

Blair: What piece was it?

Jo: A head for Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson.

Tootie: Well, how wonderful.

Blair: It's quite a likeness.

Jo: You think so?

Blair: Think so? I know so. I saw Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson with my own two eyes. I used to work for him, you know.

Jo: You did?

Blair: I did.

Tootie: She did.

Natalie: She did.

Kelly: I love grapes.

Blair: Of course, I was a much younger woman in those days.

(Flashback)

Blair recalls one of her tales when she was still working for Warner Industries, which they bought Wonka Sparrow Hanson shops all over New York. Boots St. Claire was her co-worker, and Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson was their boss. Jack looked a LOT like Glen Lantz from "A Nightmare On Elm Street" back in Blair's time.

Blair: (Offscreen) Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson began with a single store on Cherry Street.

Superimposed Card: Peekskill, 1984

The store itself is like a little candy store where all the kids get their candy and bars, but served as a front for a factory. Blair's dad made a built-in factory under Jack's request.

Blair: (Offscreen) But the whole world wanted his candy.

Boots discovered that more kids are buying Wonka Sparrow Hanson bars by the minute, and she wants Blair to go into the back to see the boss. Blair tells Boots to continue to take care of the customers as Blair goes to the back to see about the problem. The back was like a full-force factory, Lots of makers are making bars, candies, and all the goods they can come up with. Blair sees Jack working on a big lollipop and sees his face through the lollipop as she asks...

Blair: Mr. Wonka Sparrow Hanson.

Jack: Yeah?

Blair: We need more Wonka Sparrow Hanson bars, and we're out of chocolate birds.

Jack: Birds? (Ponders) Birds. (Idea) Well, then we'll need to make some more. Here.

Jack picks a chocolate egg from a dish, and asks for Blair to open her mouth. Jack puts the egg in her mouth and motions her to close it for a few seconds.

Jack: Now open.

Blair opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue, and before she knows it, the little chocolate chick has hatched!

(End flashback)

We go back to the present.

Blair: The man was a genius. Did you know he invented a new way of making chocolate ice cream so that it stays cold for hours without a freezer? You can even leave it lying in the sun on a hot day, and it won't go runny.

Jo: But that's impossible.

Blair: But Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson did it.

(Flashback)

Superimposed Card: Long Island, New York, 1989

Jack, now sporting the Officer Tom Hanson look, cuts the ribbon with a giant pair of scissors, and raises his hands to show the huge crowd to his newly opened factory.

Blair: (Offscreen) Before long, he decided to build a proper chocolate factory. The largest chocolate factory in history. Fifty times as big as any other.

Among the crowd were the four girls along with Beverly Ann, George Burnett, and Andy Moffett. Jo hugs Blair at the celebration of the factory, and Tootie and Natalie began to hug them too as a group.

Part two is about to come up.

[RoryGilmore]

Its different but intersting

[jameslubbockfan]

Chapter two: The history of the Chocolate Sorority House

We go back to the current times. Jo is enjoying all these flashbacks, but she thinks Blair is making them disgusting.

Jo: Blair, don't make it gross.

Tootie nudges Blair to tell Jo about abouter tale.

Tootie: Tell her about the Sorority guys. She'd like to hear about that.

Jo: You mean, the Pi Pi Pi Sorority House?

Tootie nodded, and Blair faced Jo and begins to tell the tale of the Pi Pi Pi Sorority House.

Blair: Well, headmistress Vanessa Korman wrote a letter to Mr. Wonka Sparrow Hanson, and asked him to come all the way out to Los Angeles, and build her a colossal Sorority House entirely out of chocolate.

(Flashback)

Superimposed Card: Los Angeles, California

The blueprint for the Pi Pi Pi Sorority House is shown with a 50/50 interior/exterior, and Jack puts the blueprint on the table, and the actual building in construction is shown as we zoom out to see the headmistress Vanessa Korman and Jack looking on.

Jack: It will have 100 rooms, and everything will be made of either dark or light chocolate.

As Blair kept narrating, the workers are working on the building with chocolate caulking, spading the chocolate design, and they put on the finishing touches of the house.

Blair: (Offscreen) True to his word, the bricks were chocolate, and the cement holding them together was chocolate. All the walls and ceilings were made of chocolate as well. So were the carpets and the pictures and the furniture.

Vanessa observes the interior and 100 young women were proud of the chocolate design.

Vanessa: It is perfect in every way.

Jack: Yeah, but it won't last long. You better start eating right now.

Vanessa: Oh, nonsense. I will not eat my Sorority House. I intend to live in it.

Vanessa sits on her chocolate seat, and takes a lick of the chocolate off her finger from running through it against the chocolate armrest.

A few days later, Vanessa's sorority girls were rocking out with music blaring from a real ghetto blaster as the boiling sun seeps through the L.A. skyline.

Blair: (Offscreen) But Mr. Wonka Sparrow Hanson was right, of course. Soon after this, there came a very hot day with a boiling sun.

Vanessa is enjoying this chocolate sorority house until the first drop drips over her forehead. She licks it off, and dismisses it as nothing. The girls are still having a great time, but as Vanessa still laughs it off, a few big gobs of chocolate dripped down Vanessa's face. Vanessa finally sees the fault. The sun is making the Sorority House melt! The statues, carpet, pictures, the stands, and even the table where the ghetto blaster stood began to melt like wax. The girls are terrified as runny chocolate continued to run from the ceiling, the blue sky begins to show through the holes. The girls are yelling about their clothes beong covered in chocolate, the ghetto blaster now engulfed by chocolate, the girls and Vanessa tried to make a run for it, but are blocked by a melting statue. A few hours later, the Pi Pi Pi Sorority House is now nothing but a BIG chocolate mess. The girls and Vanessa are on top of the Griffith Park hill as they look in dread.

Blair: (Offscreen) The headmistress sent an urgent telegram requesting a new Pi Pi Pi house...

Meanwhile, at the chocolate factory at night...

Blair: (Offscreen) ...but Jack Wonka Sparrow Hanson was facing problems of his own.

Part 3 will come up.

[RoryGilmore]

haha the house melts!

Post more soon

[jameslubbockfan]

Chapter three: It's a Mystery

All the workers, including Blair, got out of work for the night at the factory, and one of the odd workers grew poker-faced, and saw the lone man standing yards away.

Blair: (Offscreen) All the other chocolate makers, you see, had grown jealous of Mr. Wonka Sparrow Hanson. They began sending in spies to steal his secret recipes.

The worker goes to that lone man. That man is his other worker from a rival chocolate factory. The man going to that worker is actually one of the spies working for the rival factory. He hands his worker an envelope marked "SECRET RECIPE". This other worker smiled a crooked grin, showing that the job is done.

Back at Cherry St. in the Bronx, three other candy stores are selling their products like hot-cakes. Looks like Wonka Sparrow Hanson's store is not coming along so hot.

Blair: (Offscreen) Walker started making an ice cream that would never melt. Wentworth came out with a chewing gum that never lost its flavor. Then Robinson began making candy balloons that you could blow up to incredible sizes.

On a cold day, the factory is in turmoil, and Wonka Sparrow Hanson decided to lay off his workers, including Blair.

Blair: (offscreen) The thievery got so bad, that one day, without warning, Mr. Wonka Sparrow Hanson told every single one of his workers to go home. He announced that he was closing his chocolate factory forever.

Jack: I'm closing my chocolate factory forever. I'm sorry.

And the gates are closed in front of the workers, and Jack went inside the factory, never to be heard of again.

(End flashback)

Back at Eastland, the girls are eating their coal-filled, overcooked ham sandwiches. Jo saw something different from the factory when coming home from the market.

Jo: But it didn't close forever. It's open right now.

Mrs. Garrett: Yes, well, sometimes when grownups say "forever," they mean "a very long time."

Natalie: Such as, "I feel like I've eaten nothing but blackened sandwiches forever."

Beverly Ann: Now, Natalie.

Tootie: The factory did close, Jo.

Blair: And it seemed like it was going to be closed forever. Then one day we saw smoke rising from the chimneys. The factory was back in business.

Jo: Did you get your job back?

Blair: No. No one did.

Jo: But there must be people working there.

Tootie: Think about it, Jo. Have you ever seen a single person going into that factory or coming out of it?

Jo: No. The gates are always closed.

Blair: Exactly.

Jo: But then, who's running the machines?

Mrs. Garrett: Nobody knows, Jo.

Beverly Ann: It certainly is a mystery.

Jo: Hasn't someone asked Mr. Wonka Sparrow Hanson?

Blair: Nobody sees him anymore. He never comes out. The only thing that comes out of that place is the candy already packed and addressed. I'd give anything in the world just to go in one more time and see what's become of that amazing factory.

Natalie: Well, you won't, because you can't. No one can. It's a mystery, and it will always be a mystery. That little factory of yours, Jo, is as close as any of us is ever going to get.

Mrs. Garrett stands up and starts to collect the plates from the students and the caretakers.

Mrs. Garrett: Come on, Jo. I think it's time we let your friends get some sleep.

Jo goes over and shakes Natalie's hand.

Jo: Good night, Natalie.

Natalie: Night, Jo.

Tootie: Night-night.

Mrs. Garrett: Chair.

Mrs. Garrett hands Beverly Ann her chair.

Beverly Ann: Thank you, Edna.

Beverly Ann sets the chair back to her desk. Jo resumes shaking the girls' hands.

Jo: Night, Blair. Good night, Kelly.

Kelly: Nothing's impossible, Jo.

Jo starts to dart for the stairs Jo looks at the girls one more time.

Jo: Good night.

Girls: Night, Jo!

Mrs. Garrett: Sleep well.

Jo leaves the stairs for the caretakers' room.

The big moment will come up.

[RoryGilmore]

okay I'm startin to understand it a little more