Fanfic -- opinions wanted

[Devon King]

Thanks in advance to anyone who would scope out the preview of a story posted at
http://printworksunltd.com/thefacts/outofsight.htm

It's a change of pace from the "script format" entries we know and love.

[crystalship]

Hi! I thought that was a great introduction - I'm dying to see what happens next! Good work!

[JoRocks87FOL]

that was REALLY good! i can't wait so see what happens! i love it!

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~*~*~*JoRocks87FOL~*~*~*~
JO: Now, Natalie, when you hear these voices, are they friendly?

Jo: one minute you are happy and healthy, the next minute youre a pamento loaf on a gurny!

Jo: BOOZE!
Blair:booze? this is Puweefwize
Jo: gahzuntite!
Blair: it's the Michealobe of wine.
Jo: id ont think i can get this stuff down, i'll get some beer.
Nat: How will you get beer?
Jo: i'll get beer

Mrs G: no, but i have an idea, you girls got any ideas?
Nat:Nope, not me!
Blair: Not Muah! Jo?
Jo:Me? uh... no, i havent had an idea since '79!

[Jo_Polniaczek]

The page won't show up on my computer.

[TVaddict]

Great opening, I'm so intrigued. Nice to see it in narrative form rather than script also. Let us know when there's more!

[lesliem14]

More, more, soon, please, please. In case you can't tell, I can't wait until you post the whole thing!!

[Devon King]

To Jo_Polniaczek: I'm sorry you had trouble accessing the page, but I appreciate the fact that you tried. There is some art involved on the page but the text should show up quick. I'll have to look around to see if it's problematic for some browsers. Thanks for letting me know about the glitch.

[The T]

I think it's really really great! FABULOUS! I mean really awesome! Man very detailed and great writting! I love it! Dude, you should like write books! Your really good!

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See ya~The T
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Jo: Well I'm startin.

Nat: Where'd ya get the beer?

Jo: I got the beer. Here's to all who wish me well, all the rest can go to.......Jersey.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

[Devon King]

Thanks for the kind words, everyone! The whole story should be posted at the first of the year. Glad you liked the preview!

[Cokies]

Pretty cool, very interesting...

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"It was just like Saturday Night Fever, except it was a Friday."

[Jeanie]

I really enjoyed the story. Can't wait until the rest is posted. Thank you.

[flower]

that was great, but hurry, finish it soon!!! i just hate waiting a long time to find out the ending of a story. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by flower (edited 12-19-2000).]

[Jo_Polniaczek]

the page shows up but it says it can't find it

[VicariousPeekskill]

I'm very intrigued. You have good command of language and literary devices. I can't wait to read the rest!!

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"I have measured out my life in coffee spoons;"
T.S. Eliot, 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'

[LaverneShirley]

Jo_Polniaczek, if you email me, (angoradebs@aol.com) I'll copy and paste the story in an email and send it to you (if that's all right with Devon King, of course). And if you do email me put "FOL Story" in the subkect or else I'll probably accidently delete it.

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"Well, Laverne is sort of childish" -Shirley

"Childish? Childish? Coming from a grown woman who throws tea parties for her stuffed cat!" -Laverne

"Well at least I don't sew L's on everything I wear!" -Shirley

"Well that would be pretty stupid considering your name's Shirley!" -Laverne

[I'm_NMK]

Hey! That's puuuuuurdy good! http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/wink.gif I can't wait to read more!
-NMK

[Devon King]

To LaverneShirley: That sounds fine -- e-mail the preview if you wish. Thanks for asking and for taking the initiative to work-around the viewing problem! <grin>

[Jo_Polniaczek]

I got it to work there was somthin wrong with my computer.

[Devon King]

Finally! If anyone is still watching for Out of Sight to hit the net -- it's finished, all the pages are assembled in html and it's being uploaded this weekend.

It's a pretty long read and that, plus life in the real world <grin>, really slowed down my timetable for posting. Sorry about that.

Sections One and Two are available right now. (That's about 25 pages worth, if you were to print it out! Wow!)
http://printworksunltd.com/thefacts/outofsight.htm

Hope you enjoy it! Feedback is most welcome.

[This message has been edited by Devon King (edited 01-27-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Devon King (edited 01-27-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Devon King (edited 01-27-2001).]