Things you will never see or hear on Roseanne

[Ireneparalegal]

Becky: "Daddy, I am sorry your business went downhill. What can I do to help?"

Dan: "Hey Becky, get the hell outta my house!"

Darlene: "I love you all."

D.J.: "It's my turn to do dishes."

Mark: "Becky, I can't disrespect your mom and dad by having you sneak out to see me."

Roseanne: "Let's all go on diets. No more junk food."

[coffield3]

Jacky-i love you mom

Dan-im giving up beer

Darlene-i want to be a makeup artist

Crystal-drive me over that bridge!

Dan- i hate corn

Becky-im a lesbian

Roseanne- dan your in control

[SparkleFarkle]

Becky: Ireneparalegal loves me!:smooch:

[Ireneparalegal]

Becky: Ireneparalegal loves me!:smooch:
I do, when she is not a spoiled unpunished stupid b*tch. Becky loves you more because she can get away with sh*t. "Oh it's ok Becky you are a victim." :rofl: Glad she ended up in that trailer park, you must love that too. :brent Misery loves company.




Bev: "Roseanne and Jackie I know why you hate me so much, because I was a bad mother who had no reason whatsoever to be the way I was."

Darlene: "I am sorry Molly, let's be friends."

David: "You know what Darlene, you are a stupid little b*tch like your sister Becky. You are both losers and you both should have had your asses whipped."

Roseanne to her snooty neighbor: "I realize the way you are is only because of me."

[blue4t]

Dan: Jackie can come over here any time she wants.

[catlover79]

Darlene: Mom, may I please have that nice frilly pink dress in that boutique?

Darlene: I'm giving up on wearing black - for good.

[catlover79]

Anyone volunteering to clean the house.

Anyone minding their own business.

Bev promising to take a vow of silence.

[sweetdiggity]

Anyone from the show - "I'm going to the gym." :lol:

[Ireneparalegal]

Anyone from the show - "I'm going to the gym." :lol:
Good one! ;) :lol:

Darlene volunteering to do the dishes.

Molly getting her ass whupped by her dad for staying out late.

Jackie getting married and staying married.

D.J. voted most popular in school.

Darlene having a slumber party.

Roseanne clearing out all that clutter in her living room.

[Madame X]

The Conners having a dog.

Just a big bowl of salad on the table.

Scenes with Jackie at the laundromat.

Becky and Darlene rooming together at college.

Dan's Dad dating Roseanne's Mom

:crazy:

[coffield3]

Leon-I love Roseanne!!! im straight!!!

[Ireneparalegal]

The Conners having a dog.

Just a big bowl of salad on the table.

Scenes with Jackie at the laundromat.

Becky and Darlene rooming together at college.

Dan's Dad dating Roseanne's Mom

:crazy:
:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Ireneparalegal]

Becky divorcing Mark

Becky going to college on a loan or scholarship

Darlene coming out as a lesbian

Roseanne sitting and hugging her mom and saying she is sorry for what her mother went through in her marriage

Dan losing more than 30 lbs.

David telling Darlene how she treats him like dirt and he isn't taking her crap anymore and leaves

Roseanne NOT having the last word

The Conners NOT winning the lottery

[Madame X]

Becky divorcing Mark

Becky going to college on a loan or scholarship

Darlene coming out as a lesbian

Roseanne sitting and hugging her mom and saying she is sorry for what her mother went through in her marriage

Dan losing more than 30 lbs.

David telling Darlene how she treats him like dirt and he isn't taking her crap anymore and leaves

Roseanne NOT having the last word

The Conners NOT winning the lottery

Uh Huh! :lol:

[Dusk Angel]

Becky divorcing Mark

Becky going to college on a loan or scholarship

Darlene coming out as a lesbian

Roseanne sitting and hugging her mom and saying she is sorry for what her mother went through in her marriage

Dan losing more than 30 lbs.

David telling Darlene how she treats him like dirt and he isn't taking her crap anymore and leaves

Roseanne NOT having the last word

The Conners NOT winning the lottery


I was under the impression that Becky was ready to leave Mark when she was wanting to go to college on her scholarship. Just what I could see.

I think Sara Gilbert is gay in real life. I heard she had a baby awhile back and she and a woman were raising it together.

[Monterey]

Dan-I'm giving up beer.

Roseanne-Everyone get in the car, it's time for church.

Becky-Would have been funny to have ACTUALLY seen or heard her break the sound barrier in front of the WHOLE student council.

Darlene-I'm going to pose for Sports Illustrated

DJ-Mom, I know I have a fever, but Pleeeeeeeeze don't make me stay home from school!

Jackie-Mom, why don't you sell your house and move in with me.

Beverly-Jackie, you turned out to be such a well adjusted woman.

[Ireneparalegal]

Dan-I'm giving up beer.

Roseanne-Everyone get in the car, it's time for church.

Becky-Would have been funny to have ACTUALLY seen or heard her break the sound barrier in front of the WHOLE student council.

Darlene-I'm going to pose for Sports Illustrated

DJ-Mom, I know I have a fever, but Pleeeeeeeeze don't make me stay home from school!

Jackie-Mom, why don't you sell your house and move in with me.

Beverly-Jackie, you turned out to be such a well adjusted woman.
:rofl: Awesome!

[Sophie Treadmill]

:lol: I'm sorry I have nothing of substance to add, I just had to respond because this whole thread is so funny! Love it, Thanks!

[Ireneparalegal]

:lol: I'm sorry I have nothing of substance to add, I just had to respond because this whole thread is so funny! Love it, Thanks!
Oh, I am sure you could add something. Don't be too hard on yourself. Thanx for the comment. Nice to have you be a member here. :wave:



Nancy and Leon going STRAIGHT. :lol:

Nancy taking back Arnie.

Arnie being a ladies' man.

Everyone wanting Bev to live with them.

[Sophie Treadmill]

Dan and Roseanne going vegetarian.

Darlene becoming a carnivore again.

DJ getting a discernibly new haircut.

Jackie arresting Kathy "Needlebutt" Bowman for drunk and disorderly conduct at the Lobo.

[Sophie Treadmill]

Ireneparalegal: Oh, I am sure you could add something. Don't be too hard on yourself. Thanx for the comment. Nice to have you be a member here. :wave:

Thank you so much! Y'all are great! :wave:

[Ireneparalegal]

Dan and Roseanne going vegetarian.

Darlene becoming a carnivore again.

DJ getting a discernibly new haircut.

Jackie arresting Kathy "Needlebutt" Bowman for drunk and disorderly conduct at the Lobo.
Ohhhhh, I would love to see Jackie arrest "Needlebutt". :rofl: ;)

[Sophie Treadmill]

Heh. Me too.

Needlebutt was one of my favorites. I absolutely couldn't stand her. I'm not familiar with the actress that played her, but she sure took that character and ran with it.

[Ireneparalegal]

Heh. Me too.

Needlebutt was one of my favorites. I absolutely couldn't stand her. I'm not familiar with the actress that played her, but she sure took that character and ran with it.
God she was a total B*tch, but for that reason, I enjoyed the interactions she and Roseanne had. :rofl: They worked well off of each other. :lol:

[Sophie Treadmill]

They did work really well with each other. I was disappointed when they were written out of the show.

So, I just IMDB'd Kathy Bowman because I wanted to see who played her.
It's Megan Fay and I can't say I'm surprised that she is a theatre actor. In my book that's a compliment. She was a member of Second City, the famed comedy improv theatre group in Chicago that has served as direct pipeline for Saturday Night Live talent since its inception. It's funny to think Needlebutt could've been a regular on SNL!

[Ireneparalegal]

They did work really well with each other. I was disappointed when they were written out of the show.

So, I just IMDB'd Kathy Bowman because I wanted to see who played her.
It's Megan Fay and I can't say I'm surprised that she is a theatre actor. In my book that's a compliment. She was a member of Second City, the famed comedy improv theatre group in Chicago that has served as direct pipeline for Saturday Night Live talent since its inception. It's funny to think Needlebutt could've been a regular on SNL!
:rofl: That is funny. Can you imagine her on SNL???? Or MADTV? I remember Second City. Wow, the memories...;)



Roseanne being nice to Mark

Mark shaving his head.

David with straight hair.

Darlene with a butch cut.

D.J. making honor roll.

[Sophie Treadmill]

:rofl: That is funny. Can you imagine her on SNL???? Or MADTV? I remember Second City. Wow, the memories...;)


One of my closest friends just came thisclose to being an ensemble member there, but in the end it came down to another person and her, and they went the other way. :(

David, Leon, and Needlebutt going to the local tractor pull.

Roseanne to Dan: Yeah, you're right. Guess I can't be right all the time.

Roseanne to anyone: I'm just not that big into Halloween.

Mrs. Wellman: I'm really concerned about the lives of the working-class. After all, I'm a true proletariat at heart.

Leon: Who's Barbra Streisand?

Jimmy Meltreigger (sp?): The truth is, I was embarassed to death and don't want to be seen with you after what just happened, but I realize I'll get major points with you if I pretend otherwise. Maybe then I'll have a shot with your best friend.

[Ireneparalegal]

One of my closest friends just came thisclose to being an ensemble member there, but in the end it came down to another person and her, and they went the other way. :(

David, Leon, and Needlebutt going to the local tractor pull.

Roseanne to Dan: Yeah, you're right. Guess I can't be right all the time.

Roseanne to anyone: I'm just not that big into Halloween.

Mrs. Wellman: I'm really concerned about the lives of the working-class. After all, I'm a true proletariat at heart.

Leon: Who's Barbra Streisand?

Jimmy Meltreigger (sp?): The truth is, I was embarassed to death and don't want to be seen with you after what just happened, but I realize I'll get major points with you if I pretend otherwise. Maybe then I'll have a shot with your best friend.
OMG :brent

How did I miss your post? Those are damn funny. :rofl:

[ThomasE]

Mark: I'm going to preach the gospel everywhere I go.
Mark: Don't bother me now Becky, If I want to get an "A" on that calculus exam, I have to study!

Becky#1: Okay , Becky two, this house ain't big enough for the both of us!

Becky #1: (laughs) Move into a trailer? No way. The only way I would do that is if it were 1995 and I was taller with shoulder length blonde hair and on "Scrubs".