Question about friends...

[consentida]

So, there's this person that I'm good friends with and she's been a little weird lately and not replying to my emails or whatever and that's not like her. She usually replies within 24 - 48 hours, but lately she's been waiting about week to answer my emails or just flat out ignoring them. This has happened a few times before so I decided to see what she'd do if I ignored her emails. I waited for her to email me and I ignored the email. And she kept emailing me every day after that until I finally replied.

And then there was another incident where she wanted to borrow a movie from me but she expected me to just go and drop it off at her house (which is around the corner so its not that big of a deal), but she could just as easily pick it up from my house. Everytime we get together or something, she expects me to go to her. She expects me to go to her house, her job, etc. She won't come to see me. She always expects me to make the effort and go to her. So we were discussing this movie and how it would get to her and she suggested that I just go to her house and put it in the mailbox. I gave her this "you've got to be kidding me" kind of look and later she was like "Well, you dont have to put it in the mailbox, you can knock on the door and come in." And then I lit into her about how its unfair that she expects me to do all these things for her and she doesnt want to do a damn thing for me. She had nothing to say about that.

Over the last few months that I've been dealing with this, I've had three bad dreams about this person. In each one, she is someone completely different (different face, body, etc.). And I just wonder if that means there's this whole other side to her and I shouldnt trust her or whatever. I don't know.

I just feel like she's selfish in a lot of ways and to me, friendships are supposed to be 50/50. And I feel like this particular "friendship" is 99/1. And it's just frustrating.

So I guess my question is, what would you do with someone like this?

[Sharop]

Hmmm...my advice would be to talk it over with her some more, and tell her how you feel, and hopefully she'll understand, and maybe "play her part", so to speak.

If she's been acting strangely lately, it's possible that there may be something going on with her life right now that she hasn't told you about. Maybe she's having some sort of problem, or something, and that's why she's acting differently? Maybe you could also ask her if anything's happening to her that she wants to talk about.

I'm sorry this is all I can think of.

[swedeace]

I agree with Sharop. There could be, literally, a million reasons why she is acting this way....not necessarily geared towards you. Maybe she is having other problems. Who knows? I think the best thing would be to approach her and let her know you are growing concerned about her behavior. Let it be known you can listen to her. Hopefully, she will feel comfortable enough to let you know her reasons (it being personal towards you or other stuff going on). It helps when you are in the known instead of in the dark, so to speak. In any case, good luck in finding your answers.

[evilNpunk]

I agree with both of them. But try calling her or going to her house or inviting her to yours. That way you can actually talk about whats going on and how the situation has been making you feel.

[Tuesday Weld]

I pretty much agree with everyone else.

[Yooch]

I cannot add to the very wise advice, Consentida, that has been given in the above posts. I'm confident that you'll resolve this issue. Will keep you in my thoughts.