For any middle school guys

[G-Force Glockstar]

Me & my friend Patrick were talking this afternoon and I asked him if boys his age (he's 14 and in my grade) only have sex with girls for their looks. He said yeah, but they stop doing that around age 18.
But this really depresses me.....does that mean I won't be able to have sex until I'm 18 (if I'm lucky)?? :(
Why can't they just like girls for who they are on the inside??

I wish I was pretty so I could have sex :( My younger sisters are sooooo lucky!!!!

[EmoJoe]

WHY the heck would you want to have sex before 18 anyway!??! you're 14 years old, you don't need sex! and besides, sex is BAD if you do it randomly with anyone- really, it's mean to be done after you're married, not when you're not even in high school yet -______________-. just calm down. anyone who has sex at 14 can't be a very good person anyway.

i'm not saying this to be mean, but i'm seriously getting concerned now

[G-Force Glockstar]

WHY the heck would you want to have sex before 18 anyway!??! you're 14 years old, you don't need sex! and besides, sex is BAD if you do it randomly with anyone- really, it's mean to be done after you're married, not when you're not even in high school yet -______________-. just calm down. anyone who has sex at 14 can't be a very good person anyway.

i'm not saying this to be mean, but i'm seriously getting concerned now


I know, I guess I just wanna feel like I'm actually worth something and mean something.

[vienna waits]

I think you need to see a psychologist. This is ridiculous.

[dawsongirl]

I'm with Joe...what is so important about having sex before 18?? I'm 26 and still a virgin. I'm not dead, sad, or feel like it's a problem at all. IMO, sex should be between two people who deeply love each other and want to spend their life together...not between two people just looking to get laid. And at 14...you simply cannot love someone like that. Wait until you meet a nice guy and YOU ARE OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL.

And about guys only having sex with pretty girls...a) guys like that are freaks and would hire dirty hookers just to get laid. and b) beauty is a very relative term. There's not one person on this earth that everyone thinks is gorgeous. And there's no one that everyone thinks is ugly. I'm sure you're fine.

[MsOrange]

sex isn't all it's cracked up to be

a guy @ work said this awesome quote:
"Sex is the most overrated thing there is. A good $h|t is the most underrated. Think about it: which can you go longer with out?"

[dawsongirl]

I know, I guess I just wanna feel like I'm actually worth something and mean something.
Random sex won't do that. Cuz the minute the guy shoots and leaves, you'll feel like trash.

[vienna waits]

I know, I guess I just wanna feel like I'm actually worth something and mean something.
Having sex at the age of 14 would probably make you feel worthless by the time you come to understand how insane some of the stuff you're saying is.

[dawsongirl]

sex isn't all it's cracked up to be

a guy @ work said this awesome quote:
"Sex is the most overrated thing there is. A good ***** is the most underrated. Think about it: which can you go longer with out?"
lol...what's the *****?

[G-Force Glockstar]

I admit I'm sick and need help because I can't stop thinking about sex. But really, it's all the boys that have called me ugly before's fault! And all the boys that say how much they'd kill to bang with my sister!

[MsOrange]

lol...what's the *****?
edited for clarification :D

[G-Force Glockstar]

Random sex won't do that. Cuz the minute the guy shoots and leaves, you'll feel like trash.

He might not if he thought I was attractive.

[dawsongirl]

I admit I'm sick and need help because I can't stop thinking about sex. But really, it's all the boys that have called me ugly before's fault! And all the boys that say how much they'd kill to bang with my sister!
No, it's not all their fault. You have to have the self esteem to let all those jerk's comments roll off your back. Trust me, guys your age are the most immature things on earth and most of what they say is crap anyway. And if they keep saying how much they'd kill to sleep with your sister...let them kill someone. See how far it gets them.

You need to see someone to work on your self-esteem issues more than your constant thoughts of sex. Because that seems to be the root of all your problems.

[Michael [hXc]]

nobody my age that i know actually has sex at this age, but if i did i wouldn't only base it on looks. also, looks aren't the only deciding factor because ugly people can still have great sex :D but i doubt you're even ugly, and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder anyway.

and anyway, if guys call you ugly all the time, it's their fault for being complete jackasses. just ignore it, they probably have really bad taste.

[dawsongirl]

edited for clarification :D
:lol:

[G-Force Glockstar]

No, it's not all their fault. You have to have the self esteem to let all those jerk's comments roll off your back. Trust me, guys your age are the most immature things on earth and most of what they say is crap anyway. And if they keep saying how much they'd kill to sleep with your sister...let them kill someone. See how far it gets them.

You need to see someone to work on your self-esteem issues more than your constant thoughts of sex. Because that seems to be the root of all your problems.

I've tried to talk to so many people so many times about it but my mind still hasn't changed :( What's wrong with me? :(

[G-Force Glockstar]

just ignore it, they probably have really bad taste.

haha thanks.....but I really think I'm kinda ugly

[dawsongirl]

I've tried to talk to so many people so many times about it but my mind still hasn't changed :( What's wrong with me? :(
But have you talked to a professional? They can help you out a lot more than any of us can. Maybe you have a chemical imbalance in your brain...I don't know. Only a psychiatrist could tell you that. Even going to your regular doctor...they could refer you to a psychiatrist or maybe give you some medication.

[G-Force Glockstar]

But have you talked to a professional? They can help you out a lot more than any of us can. Maybe you have a chemical imbalance in your brain...I don't know. Only a psychiatrist could tell you that. Even going to your regular doctor...they could refer you to a psychiatrist or maybe give you some medication.

Chemical imbalance?? :confused:

[dawsongirl]

Chemical imbalance?? :confused:
Yeah. There are chemicals in your brain (seratonin and norapinephrine to name a couple) that control your mood and certain thoughts. If they get out of balance, then you start to have mood swings, or you get very depressed, or your thought pattern gets messed up.

[Tuesday Weld]

WHY the heck would you want to have sex before 18 anyway!??! you're 14 years old, you don't need sex! and besides, sex is BAD if you do it randomly with anyone- really, it's mean to be done after you're married, not when you're not even in high school yet -______________-. just calm down. anyone who has sex at 14 can't be a very good person anyway.

i'm not saying this to be mean, but i'm seriously getting concerned now

I agree, Joe.

[Polniaczek033]

go see a doctor.
i'm 14, and the kids i talk to that are always like "OMGGG GOTTA GET LAIDDD" and talk about "banging" "hot chicks" are the kids that never have gotten any before and probably never will. seriously, don't let that bug you.

[LuLu Rogers]

My sister is about a year younger than you and she NEVER talks about sex! Quite frankly, she says it kinda scares her. Having sex at your age could really scar you for life! No Kidding! I'm really concerned for you, you should really talk to someone you trust about this, preferably a professional.

[Shine]

Nikki, you seem like a nice girl, but you have some serious problems that need to be sorted out. No 14 year old girl or boy should be having sex. It bothers me that some of you are placing the blame on the boys. I'll have you all know that I was a 14 year old boy once and I never held the sort of views these boys that Nikki knows do. The problem is with these specific boys, not boys in general. And when I was 14 there were plenty of girls that were cruel and mean spirited.

Nikki, you need to seek professionsl help. You need to work on building up your self-esteem. You will then realize that you are special in your own way. You are under this false impression that having sex is going to make you feel better about yourself. It will not. Only you can make yourself feel better about who you are.

[EmoJoe]

Nikki, you seem like a nice girl, but you have some serious problems that need to be sorted out. No 14 year old girl or boy should be having sex. It bothers me that some of you are placing the blame on the boys. I'll have you all know that I was a 14 year old boy once and I never held the sort of views these boys that Nikki knows do. The problem is with these specific boys, not boys in general. And when I was 14 there were plenty of girls that were cruel and mean spirited.

Nikki, you need to seek professionsl help. You need to work on building up your self-esteem. You will then realize that you are special in your own way. You are under this false impression that having sex is going to make you feel better about yourself. It will not. Only you can make yourself feel better about who you are.
:nod: exactly. if you're parents don't care enough to help you, go to a physcatrist (sp?) or something.

[Sharop]

Everyone else has already said it really. Nikki, I think you should try to take their advice. It might be good to speak to someone about it. Have you got a school counsellor? Maybe you could talk to them (if you didn't want your parents to know) as a school counsellor probably wouldn't notify your parents unless the problem was REALLY, REALLY serious.

You could try to talk to a regular psychiatrist about it, but that way, your parents might find out. Over here in England, once a person is 17, the "doctor/patient confidentiality" rule comes into play, which means that the doctor can't tell anyone else anything that the patient confides to him/her. I don't know what the rules are about that in America, though.

Seriously, Nikki, you don't want to have sex at your age. And if you want to feel good about yourself, why not try feeling good about the way you are as a person? From what you've told us about how your sisters tease you, you seem to be a nicer person than they are. And aren't you quite bright? You do well in school, don't you, gets As and Bs? That's something to be proud of! You're intelligent, you'll do well when you're older, you'll get a good job and you'll be able to contribute positively to society!

[KissMyGrits]

I know, I guess I just wanna feel like I'm actually worth something and mean something.

That isn't a way to prove your worth Nikki!! Please don't do that just for that!!

My next door neighbor got pregnant at 14 because she wanted to have sex to feel worthy!! My son is the same age as her son!! Please!! Think about the other things that can happen!! STD's, pregnancy!! Not to mention that you might feel good sleeping with someone for a brief moment, but what happens when that boy gets what he wants and decides to move on to the next innocent girl? You will feel 1000 times worse than you do now!!

Finish high school, I know it is hard. I have been overweight for most of my life. Whereas my sister is super skinny and looks like a super model. Talk about a self esteem killer. She had a different boyfriend every week. I know that she had sex with every one of them. She told me that she felt more miserable after each guy would use her and then break up with her!!

Make yourself seccessful in other ways. You are worth alot!! You matter to someone and there is someone out there for you!! If I may say so I believe that God has someone special for everyone! By His grace we will know it when we see it!!

Sorry for the preaching, but you are special Nikki!

[Yooch]

I wouldn't go by what one guy says, but if some guys are like what he describes, they are not worth it. Keep your integrity.

[G-Force Glockstar]

Thanks everyone.....my parents are always really busy so I never really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff!

[EmoJoe]

Thanks everyone.....my parents are always really busy so I never really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff!
too busy to listen to your problems? some parents they are. talk to a physcotrist or something...someone who'll listen :)

[Michael [hXc]]

you can always talk to me.

[G-Force Glockstar]

too busy to listen to your problems? some parents they are. talk to a physcotrist or something...someone who'll listen :)

It's just they got so sick of me talking about sex and all that all the time, they don't really wanna hear me talk about it anymore.....idk how I'll be able to get a physcotrist :(

[G-Force Glockstar]

you can always talk to me.

I know.....thanks :)

You all are really nice! Thanks, everyone!! :wave:

[Michael [hXc]]

;) :p

[G-Force Glockstar]

;) :p

:bighug:

[Michael [hXc]]

:bighug: :thanks:

[KristinHerreraFan]

Nikki, I hate to say it, but you've got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself. And I agree totally on the self-esteem point, you have to learn how to not listen to any of the "your so ugly" comments given by boys of your age, if they call you ugly, so be it, let them think what they want to think, if you know it's not true, you shouldn't let it get to you, "your so ugly" is indeed an opinion, it is NOT a fact, so it does NOT mean its true. And as for the having sex, trust me, it's not worhit losing your virginity at 14, eventhough it may seem like it'll make you feel better. Just have to hang in there, and since I KNOW you have a very strong character inside of you, you'll never let yourself ruin your own life. :) :hug:

[Michael [hXc]]

Nikki, I hate to say it, but you've got to stop feeling so sorry for yourself. And I agree totally on the self-esteem point, you have to learn how to not listen to any of the "your so ugly" comments given by boys of your age, if they call you ugly, so be it, let them think what they want to think, if you know it's not true, you shouldn't let it get to you, "your so ugly" is indeed an opinion, it is NOT a fact, so it does NOT mean its true. And as for the having sex, trust me, it's not worhit losing your virginity at 14, eventhough it may seem like it'll make you feel better. Just have to hang in there, and since I KNOW you have a very strong character inside of you, you'll never let yourself ruin your own life. :) :hug:

wow, you give great advice. all i seem to give is virtual hugs. :lol:

[swedeace]

I agree with everyone else, Nikki. You have to talk with a school counsellor or or a teacher or a nurse at your school who might be able to point you out to talk with a psychiatrist. Putting yourself as "I need to be have sex to feel loved and worthy" is not helpful. It actually makes you seem totally dependent on other people to "make you feel better." In reality, you have to understand that no one makes us feel or do things. It's all up to us how we perceive, feel, and behave accordingly.

When I was in middle school, I recall a 12-year-old who was pregnant. She was big, too! I mean, she was ready to pop when I last saw her, and she had just turned 12 years old. There are times I still think about her and how she lost ALL of her teen years being single and not having the grownup responsibilities of caring for her child. By now her child is the same age as you. I can almost bet this pregnant pre-teen must've felt the need to have sex way prematurely. She didn't have to, but she decided to have sex for some reason. She was WAY too young for such a grownup responsibility.

I think anyone has to have the mental capability of dealing properly with sex. If they misuse it just to feel a void in their life, then they are not mentally ready for it. There are a lot of consequence and "true feelings" behind it.

So, please, Nikki, DO speak with an adult about this, preferrably a psychiatrist or a school counsellor. They may even have you talk with other kids who have lost their virginity for similar reasons to why you really, really want to have sex. I am sure they will provide stories to give you some food for thought. It's important.

[dawsongirl]

It's just they got so sick of me talking about sex and all that all the time, they don't really wanna hear me talk about it anymore

O_O They're tired of hearing it, but won't get you any help....what the hell?

Rule #1- Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. I assumed most adults knew that.

[Sharop]

Maybe Nikki's parents don't realise the extent to which it is a problem?

A lot of teenagers become curious about sex, and some talk about it a lot; maybe Nikki's parents are under the impression that she's just being a "typical teenager" about this stuff? I don't know, obviously, but maybe they're not aware of how she's feeling and don't know there's a problem?

[Shine]

I agree with everyone else, Nikki. You have to talk with a school counsellor or or a teacher or a nurse at your school who might be able to point you out to talk with a psychiatrist. Putting yourself as "I need to be have sex to feel loved and worthy" is not helpful. It actually makes you seem totally dependent on other people to "make you feel better." In reality, you have to understand that no one makes us feel or do things. It's all up to us how we perceive, feel, and behave accordingly.

When I was in middle school, I recall a 12-year-old who was pregnant. She was big, too! I mean, she was ready to pop when I last saw her, and she had just turned 12 years old. There are times I still think about her and how she lost ALL of her teen years being single and not having the grownup responsibilities of caring for her child. By now her child is the same age as you. I can almost bet this pregnant pre-teen must've felt the need to have sex way prematurely. She didn't have to, but she decided to have sex for some reason. She was WAY too young for such a grownup responsibility.

I think anyone has to have the mental capability of dealing properly with sex. If they misuse it just to feel a void in their life, then they are not mentally ready for it. There are a lot of consequence and "true feelings" behind it.

So, please, Nikki, DO speak with an adult about this, preferrably a psychiatrist or a school counsellor. They may even have you talk with other kids who have lost their virginity for similar reasons to why you really, really want to have sex. I am sure they will provide stories to give you some food for thought. It's important.


:nod:

[G-Force Glockstar]

I agree with everyone else, Nikki. You have to talk with a school counsellor or or a teacher or a nurse at your school who might be able to point you out to talk with a psychiatrist. Putting yourself as "I need to be have sex to feel loved and worthy" is not helpful. It actually makes you seem totally dependent on other people to "make you feel better." In reality, you have to understand that no one makes us feel or do things. It's all up to us how we perceive, feel, and behave accordingly.

When I was in middle school, I recall a 12-year-old who was pregnant. She was big, too! I mean, she was ready to pop when I last saw her, and she had just turned 12 years old. There are times I still think about her and how she lost ALL of her teen years being single and not having the grownup responsibilities of caring for her child. By now her child is the same age as you. I can almost bet this pregnant pre-teen must've felt the need to have sex way prematurely. She didn't have to, but she decided to have sex for some reason. She was WAY too young for such a grownup responsibility.

I think anyone has to have the mental capability of dealing properly with sex. If they misuse it just to feel a void in their life, then they are not mentally ready for it. There are a lot of consequence and "true feelings" behind it.

So, please, Nikki, DO speak with an adult about this, preferrably a psychiatrist or a school counsellor. They may even have you talk with other kids who have lost their virginity for similar reasons to why you really, really want to have sex. I am sure they will provide stories to give you some food for thought. It's important.


Wow, 12! :eek: I wonder what her parents said....

I use to have a counselor.....I guess I could try to get an appointment with her although I haven't seen her in like a year.

[EmoJoe]

I agree with everyone else, Nikki. You have to talk with a school counsellor or or a teacher or a nurse at your school who might be able to point you out to talk with a psychiatrist. Putting yourself as "I need to be have sex to feel loved and worthy" is not helpful. It actually makes you seem totally dependent on other people to "make you feel better." In reality, you have to understand that no one makes us feel or do things. It's all up to us how we perceive, feel, and behave accordingly.

When I was in middle school, I recall a 12-year-old who was pregnant. She was big, too! I mean, she was ready to pop when I last saw her, and she had just turned 12 years old. There are times I still think about her and how she lost ALL of her teen years being single and not having the grownup responsibilities of caring for her child. By now her child is the same age as you. I can almost bet this pregnant pre-teen must've felt the need to have sex way prematurely. She didn't have to, but she decided to have sex for some reason. She was WAY too young for such a grownup responsibility.

I think anyone has to have the mental capability of dealing properly with sex. If they misuse it just to feel a void in their life, then they are not mentally ready for it. There are a lot of consequence and "true feelings" behind it.

So, please, Nikki, DO speak with an adult about this, preferrably a psychiatrist or a school counsellor. They may even have you talk with other kids who have lost their virginity for similar reasons to why you really, really want to have sex. I am sure they will provide stories to give you some food for thought. It's important.:nod: you could wind up ruining your life if you have sex this early.

[Brent88]

Oh for the love of GOD!

:rolleyes:

[dawsongirl]

I just thought I'd post this as a good example of why random teenage sex with anyone can be VERY dangerous.

http://desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060531/NEWS01/605310371/-1/archive

[G-Force Glockstar]

I just thought I'd post this as a good example of why random teenage sex with anyone can be VERY dangerous.

http://desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060531/NEWS01/605310371/-1/archive

Wow, that's sad and sick :( Thankfully, she got saved

But that was rape, I was talking about sex :confused:

[dawsongirl]

Wow, that's sad and sick :( Thankfully, she got saved

But that was rape, I was talking about sex :confused:
They'd been in a relationship already. When she told him she was pregnant, then he raped her.


Here's a follow up:

http://desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060601/NEWS01/606010400/-1/archive

[G-Force Glockstar]

They'd been in a relationship already. When she told him she was pregnant, then he raped her.

Oh. Wow :( How old was he?

[swedeace]

Wow, that's sad and sick :( Thankfully, she got saved

But that was rape, I was talking about sex :confused:
No, no, no. I think you are missing the point. Prior to the rape, the girl obviously knew this guy, got together, had sex together, she ran away from home, and she had been living with him for two weeks. Then, she found out she was pregnant, and she told the guy the news. He got pissed, and then he raped her on the roof of that building AND had weapons to hurt her. So, again...for some reason, she felt the need to make the decision have sex this early in her age with this guy she supposedly "loved."

[swedeace]

Oh. Wow :( How old was he?
She's 15, and he's 21. That's a hefty age difference when she is still a teen.

Yeah, so again - the consequence. She found out she's pregnant and was raped. It's still not good to just use sex to fill that empty feeling void.

[Hollow]

Thanks everyone.....my parents are always really busy so I never really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff!
i'm really glad you talk about your feelings on here and ask for advice without worrying about what some people might think. a lot of people care about you niki, and i'm one of them. you have too much yet to learn and experience, don't ruin your life at such an early age. sex may be a big deal to teenagers, but it's not that great of an aspect in life overall. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 18. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin your entire life.

[EmoJoe]

i'm really glad you talk about your feelings on here and ask for advice without worrying about what some people might think. a lot of people care about you niki, and i'm one of them. you have too much yet to learn and experience, don't ruin your life at such an early age. sex may be a big deal to teenagers, but it's not that great of an aspect in life overall. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 18. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin your entire life.
:nod: agreed 100%!!

[Cactus Jack]

i'm really glad you talk about your feelings on here and ask for advice without worrying about what some people might think. a lot of people care about you niki, and i'm one of them. you have too much yet to learn and experience, don't ruin your life at such an early age. sex may be a big deal to teenagers, but it's not that great of an aspect in life overall. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 18. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin your entire life.
Ditto :nod:

[Karen*]

i'm really glad you talk about your feelings on here and ask for advice without worrying about what some people might think. a lot of people care about you niki, and i'm one of them. you have too much yet to learn and experience, don't ruin your life at such an early age. sex may be a big deal to teenagers, but it's not that great of an aspect in life overall. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 18. there's nothing wrong with being a virgin your entire life.

Well said. :)