Fave Quote

[Brett Ferino]

What is it and why?

[Fanof227]

When Tim and Jill and Hiedi who is pregent are on their way down to an award show. Heidi goes in labor after the car breaks down.

I don't know if I have the lines in the correct or not.

Tim is asking Jill what to do, saying that she has given birth she should know. Jill says "I was in alittle bit of pain at the time" And Tim says, "All I remember is alot of yelling and whatever other sounds you were making. "

One point when Heidi is having her labor pain, and Tim wants to go to the award show. He says to Hiedi "Well tell them (the baby) to stop it (stop giving her labor pain) your the mother. "

When Jill and Tim both dream what it will be like when they get older. After Jill's dream she wakes Tim up. Tim: Let me get this straight, you are upset over something that I said to you in a dream? Jill: Yes

[Titania]

I forget his name but Tim is at Big Mike's talking to one of the guys who was on the show and he tells Tim about he and his wife...

"She had these ugly little porcelein cats that she used to love to line up on a windowsill, and every day for 45 years, I'd take those cats off the windowsill and put them in cupboard. and everyday for 45 years, she'd take them out of the cupboard and put them back"
Tim: where are they now?
"On a windowsill..."
Tim: Never threw them out?
"What for?"

[onefortheroad]

those are good ones

[FrithFan89]

I have lots of favorites but these are just a few of them.

when tim and jill are trying to get to a wedding but get lost

Jill: tim this is all your fault

Tim: we'll get there eventually.

jill: yeah well if we reach connecticut i'm filing for divorse

and when tim escapes from the hopital too go to tool time so he would brake bob vilas consecutive days record and then gets more hurt so he cant go to this show with mark

jill: tim how could you do this?

Tim: i think it was the medication. i heard voices. one said go brake that record. the other said don't forget your pants.

oh and when jill wouldn't let randy drive at night cause of brads wreck but lets mark stay out late on a school night

Randy: mom, you never let me stay out that late on a school night

Jill: you also never had trouble making friends like he does this has been really good for him.

Randy: wait let me get this strait, mark gets less rules caus ehe;s a dork and i get more rules cause brads a dork.

[ConservativeBalla]

I like it when Jill leaves with that guy and Tim, Harry, Benny, and Tim's brother are playing poker talkign about it. Benny has some great lines:

Tim (to his brother): I don't know, you've got some nice features, but overall you're a pretty forgettable guy. Can we play cards, PLEASE?
Benny: Good idea Tim, keep your mind off your marriage problems.

You have to see it to laugh, but it's one of my favorite scenes.

[Oriole Adams]

In the episode where Tim was all charming to Jill's shower guests, but was his ol' belching self later in bed. He talks to Wilson, who is trying to balance eggs on end.

Wilson tells Tim: So you would tend to agree with J. B. Priestley who said that "Marriage is like an endless visit in your worst clothes."

He later mentions to Tim that J.B. Priestly was divorced three times.


Later that night Tim tells Jill: I just don't wanna be one of those priests that drops eggs on his three wives.

[Ohio8]

Tim: "...and you all know my assistant Al 'I can't find a better job' Borland."
Tim: "Because after all, Al, a safe workplace is a happy workplace, right?"
Al: "I wouldn't know, Tim."
Al: "Tim. Rivet accidents are no laughing matter." Tim: "And neither are you, Tim."
And Al's catchphrase: "I don't think so, Tim."

[Jman4200]

In the episode where Brad puts the frog on the lettuce leaf and gets busted by the cops for throwing bricks and tim and al go to those scottish games.

Tim walks outside in his kilt and Randy says, "Hi Mom where's Dad".

That quote just had me rolling with laughter.

[Carrie]

This one is from the episode "Baby, It's Cold Outside" when Tim is looking for the car during the camping trip and he finds Wilson roaming around in the woods.

Tim: "I must be really found 'cause I'm completely lost."

In the episode "Forever Jung" when Tim comes home with a piece of table glued to his head.

Jill: "Did you go to the hospital?"
Tim: "Yes, they said I wasn't a priority."
Jill: "Why, was there a guy with a whole table stuck to his head? [laughter] Ok, we'll be good. Randy, set the table."
Randy: "Ok Dad, bend over!"

[Ohio8]

(Jill's kissed Tim, who has morning breath.) Jill: "Tim; please. It's like a sea bass died."
Tim: "Are you a pie, Al?" Al: "No, I'm a Pi-scies."
Tim (to Jill): "...Tina, the inflatable party doll."

Tim: "...that's worth some coin." Jill: "Then go ahead sell it you can hang up the quarter."