Wildchats
08-11-2004, 11:44 PM
(((OPENING CREDITS)))
GIMME A BREAK
STARRING
NELL CARTER
DOLF SWEET
KARI MICHAELSEN
LAURIE HENDLER
LARA JILL MILLER
JOEY LAWRENCE
HOWARD MORTON
JONATHAN SILVERMAN
Living Room
Chief: Nell, is that Julie in there?
Kitchen
Nell: I, uh...I...Oh...I....oh...
Living Room
Chief: Nell, what the hell are you doing?
Kitchen
Nell: Oh, well...you know me Chief...I oh...I oh...
Julie: Quick...tell him you've been watching Snow White!
Nell: Oh...oh Chief...you want to know what I'm doing, huh? Well... well, I...I was watching Snow White last night.
Living Room
Chief: Snow White? Is that on cable?
Kitchen
Nell: Yeah! Yeah, on Disney!
Living Room
Chief: But we don't get Disney...I...
Kitchen
Nell: Well...I had a knackering for some Snow White last night, so...we got Disney. Besidesm Joey's been bugging me all month to get it and I...
(Chief enters the kitchen)
Chief: Julie, honey, you're back!
Julie: Yeah, uh...hi daddy.
Chief: Good that your'e home, honey...and Nell...why didn't you tell me?
Nell: I was just so...I was just so happy...yeah, that's it! I was happy that she was home so I said..."Hi, ho....hi, ho...it's off to Work you go, Jonathan! Go....Luigi's is a-calling! And you, school!"
Chief: Luigi's it's 6 o' clock in the morning!
Nell: Right! We've just opened for breakfast, and Luigi, he...he started a new speical....breakfast pizza, so...Jonathan, get going!
Jonathan: Yeah, I, uh, ho...I... I'm off to work I go and...
Chief: Oh, yeah, that reminds me...you!
Jonathan: Yes Chief! (He backs up and knocks all of the eggs over on the counter).
Chief: Ah, for the love a! You son of a...egg sucker! You broke my breakfast! (Screams) Don't you ever do anything right!
Nell: Take it easy Chief, he's had a hard night.
Chief: Oh, yeah...and how would you know?
Simpson: Hi ya Chief, I'm all ready for those eggs!
Chief: Not now, Simpson, okay!
Simpson: Yeah, Chief, but I want to get...
Chief: Not now, I said!
Simpson: But, Chief, I came all the way over here and I...
Chief: I said shut up! (Pause) Now...
Nell: Calm and quiet Chief...you...you don't want to wake Samantha yet, she's...she's sleeping.
Sam: Not anymore! I'm up! What's the matter? Julie! Your back! He uk-kidpapped you!
Julie: Huh?
Sam: Well he did kidnap you, didn't he?
Julie: No-ooo!
Sam: Well I thought that what...
Jonathan: Nobody kidnapped anyone!
Simpson: Well, that's what I wrote on the complaint. Actually, I wrote it with Chocolate syrup. I got that from a Sesamee Street magazine I read once. You know that Ernie is so damn funny! Telling Bert he needs more pens because they run outa ink!
Chief: Why, Simpson, it's almost time for Sesamee Street...why don't you go in the Living Room and have a nice "Sunny Day" okay? (Screams)
Nell: Shhhh! Now...okay...you see...
Chief: What? See, what?
Nell: Oooooh! Oh my God, he suspecets something!
Chief: What?
Nell: Never mind I am....I'm gonna go watch Sesamee Street too, okay? Come on Sam, baby, lets go!
Sam: But, Nell, I...
Nell: Shhhh...I think "Ju-lie...and Jonathan" want to be alone with the Chief...you know...settle this with him.
Sam: Oh, okay Nell. Good luck you guys, Especially you Jonathan...you aren't part of the family, but I think that since you have dated my sister for quite sometime now I...I kinda think of you as a brother-in-law, so...good luck with your first family quarrel!
Chief: Quarrel! Family! Brother-in-Law! That idiot Pizza Delivery Guy?
Sam: Daddy!
Julie: Right! Jonathan's not an idiot pizza delivery boy...he's a brilliant pizza delivery boy.
Chief: Well, what do you mean by that? Can you give me a good reason?
Julie: Well....well....well...oh, oh yes, how about...um....well....okay, here's one, just recent. This morning, around 345 am, on the way back from Vegas, Jonathan and I were going down the highway when I told him to take exit 4, but he told me it was exit 3 we needed to take, so we took 3, since he is a great driver and all, and...
Chief: Vegas?
Julie: Oh no, oh gosh, I blew it!
Chief: You went to Vegas! Your nearly 18!
Julie: Daddy! I am 18! Remember! My birthday was yesterday.
Chief: And what did you do there? Besides Gamble!
Nell (From the Living Room): They Gambled! Only Gambled!
Chief: Stay out of this!
Nell: Right! Okay...I...Oh! David is signing! That man's got a great voice! "One of these things...is just like the other...one of these things is kinda the same..."
Chief: That's enough! Now...I guess....I guess I can forgive you. Why don't you guys just go on...go on to school and work.
Jonathan: Thanks, Chief.
Chief: I'm sorry, honey. Come, give daddy a kiss.
Jonathan: (Walks towards the Chief) I, uh...
Chief: Not you! You! (To julie)
Jonathan: Right.
Chief: You wait a minute, I'm not through with you yet, Jonathan.
Jonathan: Yes, sir, Chief, sir!
Julie: I love you daddy!
Chief: Aw, I love you too. You know, I know you wouldn't go off to Vegas to do anything stupid. I mean, I know you're 18 and all and...that's an age where a lot of girls go off to get married and ruin their lives and...and you jsut went there to live a little...just to gamble a little...like a typical 18-year old. And I'm so proud of you, honey. (Holds her hands).
Julie: You are?
Chief: Yes. And if your mother were here right now she...she...
Julie: She'd what?
Chief: She'd... (Sees the ring). She'd..
Julie: She'd...what daddy (trying to stick with the subject as she sees he sees the ring).
Jonathan: I guess she'd say...Julie...way to go! You made momma proud!
Chief: You! You! You! Yooooooou!
Nell: Wooooooo! (Rushes into the room with Samantha)
Chief: What is this! You, you!
Nell: Now, Chief...don't get all upset! Don't do this!
Chief: What is the meaning of this ring?
Nell: Oh! Oh that ring!
Chief: I want an answer from you Julie...and you....Jonathan!
Nell: Well...
Chief: Enough! (Calms down) Julie...
Julie: Well...you see....Jonathan and I...
Nell: Yeah, Jonathan and her went to Vegas for a birthday trip for her 18th brithday and they won some money and he...he....
Julie: Nell!
Chief: Julie, enough!
Nell: Hey! Can I say the story!
Chief: Nell...okay...go ahead!
Nell: Well, you see...Julie and Jonathan went to Vegas and gambled away $300, then they won and doubled, but then they lost most of it. However...they did have enough left over for Jonahtan to buy her a birthday gift, and he...he bought her this ring. It's not what it looks like, but...she saw it in a pretty little shop there and...and it was the same one that Joan Collins wore last week on Dynasty, and...
Chief: Nell! Are you telling the truth...you can't possibly afford a ring like that Julie. Alexis Carrington goes for rings that are 3, maybe 4 thousand dollard worth of value.
Julie: Well...on TV they make it look like the "real thing" anyways! Besides, you don't even watch Dynasty, so how would you know!
Sam: Actually, last week's episode Alexis wasn't even on...she was away on a trip in Ro...
Julie: Sam!
Sam: Romania!
Chief: You! You lied to me!
Julie: Daddy!
Chief: Nell, get me that TV guide!
Nell: But it was last weeks episode!
Chief: I don't care! I wanna see that TV guide!
Simpson: Oh, her'es that issue of TV guide...I was in the John and I needed some reading to do. It is last weeks. You really should start to recycle around here. Things just keep pilling up liek garbage!
Chief: Give me that! Aha! Dynasty...Blake and Krystal make love and are worry free as Alexis goes off on a trip to...ro...mania! Why, you! You lied to me! Julie! Nell! You! (To Jonathan). You tell the story! And tell it right this time!
Julie: Daddy!
((((Commercial))))
Chief: So...Pizza delievery boy! Took the right exit I see in Vegas, but...will you take the right one in this house? Dead or alive?
Jonathan: I, uh...
Nell: Chief...just relax, okay.
Jonathan: I...
Chief: Now...kindly tell your story to me about what happened in Vegas. I want the whole truth, or else if you lie I will arrest you!
Julie: What? Arrest him, he didn't do anything wrong! We wanted to go together, he didn't kidpap me, though!
Chief: Ah, but lying is a serious crime!
Julie: Oh, daddy, it is not! What we did was perfectly innocent and free-willed!
Chief: Not to me it isn't! Now... what happened in Vegas...
Jonathan: Well...
Chief: I'm Listening...
Jonthan: Well, Chief....you see, I... I...
Chief: Oh, this is taking forever, Nell...I'm hungry, get me food! I need food, damn it!
Nell: There it is, impulsive compressive disorder!
Chief: What!
Nell: Yeah. Some have it for gambling...Julie and Jonathan....some got it for looks...mwah...and some got it for food...Tu!
Chief: Yeah...food....that's a good one, Nell. I wouldn't talk, tubby!
Nell: Hoooooooooo!
Chief: Get the god darn food, tubby!
Nell: Now, you just wait a minute I...
Chief: Now!
Nell: Alright! Tubby will get you your food, but...after that, tubby wants a $200 raise
Chief: For what?
Nell: For being ridiculed by a person of the same complex
Chief: And whats that just supposed to mean?
Nell: What you say, you are!
Chief: All I said is get the food, tubby...I don't see how it... Oh....oh well...forget I said that...
Nell: You right! You very right Cheif. Very right. (Madly opens the fridge, gets out stuff and lights the stove, cracking new eggs) I have to get new eggs...your old ones are already sunny-side down on the floor!
Chief: Alright, alright. Whatever. Just cook the grub...now... Jonathan...Can you please tell me what went on in Vegas.
Katie: Oh, hi guys! Oh, Julie, you're back!
Julie: Katie!
Katie: What? You look so happy to see me!
Julie: I....uh....Oh....never mind....
Chief: I know ther'es something fishy going on here.
Nell: Nope. It's breakfast....no lunch. Or else we can go on a binge and I can break out the octopus!
Chief: Enough!
Katie: What's going on?
Sam: Daddy thinks Julie and Jonathan got married in Vegas!
Katie: Married! Thats wonderful! So thats why you were...
Julie (Shakes her head, letting Katie know that it was true but not having the Chief find out).
Katie: ...happy to see me....Uh...I think I'm late for work, I need to open the boutique or else I'll lose customers and pay....uh...bye!
Chief: Julie...did your sister just give away what I think she just gave away!
Julie: Uh...I don't know dad, what is that?
Chief: The fact that you and Jonathan went off to Vegas to marry!
Nell: Okay! Okay, eggs are done!
Chief: Get the bacon!
Nell: But it's in the freezer...2 months old, it'll take another 10 minutes to...
Chief: Now!
Nell: Defrost it...Okay...tubby is getting the grubby....ewww....
Chief: Now...Is that what you went to Vegas for...Jonathan?
Jonathan: Chief...
Chief: Chief? Why, call me dad!
Jonathan: Okay, okay, dad!
Chief: Aha! Why you lying, two-timing...
Julie: Daddy!
Nell: Chief, Chief listen!
Chief: What?
Nell: Do you want any mint Jelly or jam?
Chief: Yeah...(to Jonthan) Pardon me...(to Nell) Pass the Grey Poupon!
Nell: Ahahahahaahha (Laughs) ahahahahah, you so funny!
Chief: And getting funnier!
Julie: Daddy...
Chief: No, Julie...you had your chance to tell the Vegas story....you blew it.
Julie: What?
Chief: I want to hear it from you, Jonathan...all i got out of you was "okay, Dad"...now does that clue me in on the final step in solving this mystery?
Jonathan: I....
Julie: Daddy...you know Jonathan...he'll say whatever you want him to.
Chief: And why is that?
Julie: Fear of the long arm of the law!
Chief: Right! (Smiles). Thats right! Hey, Nell...throw some of those awesome hash brows in there too, okay?
Nell: Youve got it!
Chief: And you know what would be great, how about some nice, homeade, French Toast!
Nell: Chief! Well...you know what...that does sound good...I'll get a cracking!
Chief: Now...where was I...
Julie: You were onto French toast...
Joey: Okay, I'm up! Jonathan, hi!
Jonathan: Hi Joey!
Joey: Aunt Nell, can I have my fruit loops?
Nell: get em yourself Joey!
Joey: Aw, come on I...
Chief: Fruit loops! Oh that does sound good! (Gets a box and rips it open and pours the whole box into a big bowl and gives the toy to Joey. Here, Joey...her'es another box...loop yourself out!
Joey: Wow! Thanks , Chief!
Nell: Oh...this french toast is coming great, Chief....Just great!
Cheif: Good. Get the condiments!
Nell: Oh. You mean like Syrup, Ketchup, butter, Jelly...grey poupon that is... hahahahah (laughs) pardon mwah!
Chief: Good! Now...where were we... Oh, yes... you were saying something about Jonathan being scared of me all the time?
Julie: Daddy, thats just it!
Chief: what is?
Julie (Breaks down) You know, I am getting sick and tired of you! I broke up with Jonathan and all you said was "good", you didn't care about my feelings or anything as mom would have, if she were still around. Now you have the face to tell me...well...if mom was here she'd be so pround of me...she'd say....she'd say....well what would she say? Huh, dad? What would mom say, since she's so proud of her daughter for going off to Vegas and...and...
Chief: Mom? What about mom?
Julie: Daddy... (begins to cry and soften up)
Chief: Oh, Julie, honey...
Julie: What would mom have said, dad? Tell me?
Chief: She...she would have said...she would have said..."Julie. I'm proud of you. You don't date guys who are druggies, or alcoholics....or kidnappers! (Turns to Jonathan and smiles).
Jonathan: Thanks, Chief.
Chief: And she'd...she'd say that she, she only wants to see you happy, even if it means going to Vegas on your 18th birthday and getting back with your ex-boyfriend who, even though acts like an idiot....really....you know, really ain't that bad of a person.
Jonathan: Thanks Chief.
Julie: Thank you daddy (Hugs him).
Chief: Jonathan. It was very nice of you to give Julie this ring. Even though it costed you about $300 dollars.
Jonathan: 4
Chief: Oh, thats fine but....4....hundred...dollars! Boy, she must be very special!
Jonathan: She is Chief. She is. (Goes over to her and is about to kiss her)
Chief: Ay!
Jonathan: Oh, sir...I Mean, Chief...do I have your permission to kiss your daughter.
Chief: Well, it's...it's been a long morning and...I....I guess so.
Jonathan: Thanks Chief
(Julie and Jonathan Kiss and continue kissing)
Chief: Okay that's enough! Thats enough! THATS ENOUGH!
Julie: Oh, sorry daddy!
Jonathan: Yeah, sorry, dad!
Chief: What?
Jonathan: I mean, I mean....Sorry, Chief!
Nell: Okay....breakfast is ready!
Chief: Good...I;m starving! (Rushes over and gets a plate, then pulls Nells and Julies and Jonathans and hogs it all).
(Commercial)
Chief: Oh! That was some breakfast! Eggs, Bacon, French Toast, fruit loops, grey poupon, mmmmm!) What's for lunch Nell?
Nell: Stuffed Chief!
(Everyone laughs)
Chief: Oh! Ahhhhh....my stomache! I ate too much! (Waits a second a burps). Well, you kids better get going. Julie, you dont want to be late for school!
Julie: Uh...I'm not going to school today, daddy.
Chief: Not going? Why? are you sick?
Julie: No-oo...I mean, I can't go...not just yet.
Chief: Not, yet...why not just yet?
Julie: Well...I think you, Jonathan and I need to have a little talk.
Chief: A talk...a talk about what?
Julie: Daddy...Jonathan (looks at him and smiles and Jonathan smiles and they both nod).
Chief: Oh, I need some alka selzer! Nell!
Nell: Coming! (Dumps a whole bottle into a glass and adds water).
Chief: (Drinks the whole glass in 3 seconds). Now, what is it you wanted to tell me sweet heart? That you want to take today off to tour SanFransisco? Well, they do have a lot of gays there, but...if you want to be gay...go for it!
Julie: What?
Chief: Oh...Ow! (Holds his stomache in and then burps) oh, excuse me...no, what I mean is...if you want to be happy...I'm happy for you...whatever you decide to do with you life.
Julie: You mean that?
Chief: Yes, (Burps) honey. I (Burps) Do.
Julie: Oh, daddy... I think now is the time to tell you the news.
Chief: (Looks at her with a smile, but in a depressed and tired out way because of all the food he had eaten).
Julie: Daddy...Jonathan and I just got married.
Chief: (Continues to look at her with the same face, as it changes to a caring smile, as if he were looking into the eyes of his first love).
Julie: Daddy....did you just hear me? Daddy? (Pause) Daddy? Jonathan and I we, we got married. Last night, in Vegas. In the Chapel of the Little Sparrow. It was small, nothing big. We charged it to your account though, is that okay. It was only $500
Chief: (Continues to look at Julie with such love he begins to talk very slowly, as the alka selzer and the indegestion get worse on him and he talks as if he was very sick and tired and out of it like an old man) Well... consider that a birthday gift. $500, you say?
Julie: Yeah. $ 500.
Nell: Oh, Chief....
Cheif: (Still with the same face) Yes, Nell...
Nell: Do you need anymore food?
Chief: Yeah, a bowl of rice would be nice.
Nell: Okay, a... a bowl of rice, but...oh, Julie...you mean, you...you told him! Oh, Yippie!
Julie: Nell!
Nell: Right! I'm leaving the room! "Oh, her'e comes the bride...all dressed in white....da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da"...
Julie: Daddy...are you okay?
Chief: I'm fine honey, I... $500...
Julie: Daddy...I got married.
Chief: A-ha...
Julie: To Jonathan.
Chief: A-ha...
Julie: And...
Chief: And I cant really move, I am suffering from this thing called "impulsive compressive" eating or whatever Nell calls it!
Julie: So...you're okay with it?
Chief: I...(Gets up asd he holds his stomache) Oh!
Julie: Daddy, are you okay?
Chief: Yeah, honey, I...I'll be fine! $500 you say?
Julie: Yeah.
Chief: Well... Come, here sweat heart! (Puts his arms around Julie) I hope you are happy you spent all that money.
Julie: Oh, daddy...I'll pay you back and...
Chief: Damn right your gonna pay me back, your grounded for a year!
Julie: (Smiles as she shrugs her shoulders) Okay.
Chief: And, Jonathan...welcome to the family, son. (Shakes his hands and puts his hand on his shoulder) And your grounded for two years.
Julie: Daddy...where are you going?
Chief: (In a daze-like state, walks into the livingroom) I think I'm gonna...lie down...watch a litle TV...you know...get my mind off of things.
Simpson: Oh, hiya Chief! Sesamee Street is almost over! You ate through so much! Bert and Ernie, you should see what they did this week...they sang two rounds of "Rubber Duckie" and shinned up Berts coin collection. Now thats what I call "Compromising" Chief!
Chief: Yeah...compromising! (Lies down on the couch on one side as Simpson sits on the right side towards the edge, finishing up his breakfast. The Chief thinks to himself as he gets a distorted face as his strength comes back to him and his indigestion begins to fade away) $500... married in Vegas! JULIE!
THE END
GIMME A BREAK
STARRING
NELL CARTER
DOLF SWEET
KARI MICHAELSEN
LAURIE HENDLER
LARA JILL MILLER
JOEY LAWRENCE
HOWARD MORTON
JONATHAN SILVERMAN
Living Room
Chief: Nell, is that Julie in there?
Kitchen
Nell: I, uh...I...Oh...I....oh...
Living Room
Chief: Nell, what the hell are you doing?
Kitchen
Nell: Oh, well...you know me Chief...I oh...I oh...
Julie: Quick...tell him you've been watching Snow White!
Nell: Oh...oh Chief...you want to know what I'm doing, huh? Well... well, I...I was watching Snow White last night.
Living Room
Chief: Snow White? Is that on cable?
Kitchen
Nell: Yeah! Yeah, on Disney!
Living Room
Chief: But we don't get Disney...I...
Kitchen
Nell: Well...I had a knackering for some Snow White last night, so...we got Disney. Besidesm Joey's been bugging me all month to get it and I...
(Chief enters the kitchen)
Chief: Julie, honey, you're back!
Julie: Yeah, uh...hi daddy.
Chief: Good that your'e home, honey...and Nell...why didn't you tell me?
Nell: I was just so...I was just so happy...yeah, that's it! I was happy that she was home so I said..."Hi, ho....hi, ho...it's off to Work you go, Jonathan! Go....Luigi's is a-calling! And you, school!"
Chief: Luigi's it's 6 o' clock in the morning!
Nell: Right! We've just opened for breakfast, and Luigi, he...he started a new speical....breakfast pizza, so...Jonathan, get going!
Jonathan: Yeah, I, uh, ho...I... I'm off to work I go and...
Chief: Oh, yeah, that reminds me...you!
Jonathan: Yes Chief! (He backs up and knocks all of the eggs over on the counter).
Chief: Ah, for the love a! You son of a...egg sucker! You broke my breakfast! (Screams) Don't you ever do anything right!
Nell: Take it easy Chief, he's had a hard night.
Chief: Oh, yeah...and how would you know?
Simpson: Hi ya Chief, I'm all ready for those eggs!
Chief: Not now, Simpson, okay!
Simpson: Yeah, Chief, but I want to get...
Chief: Not now, I said!
Simpson: But, Chief, I came all the way over here and I...
Chief: I said shut up! (Pause) Now...
Nell: Calm and quiet Chief...you...you don't want to wake Samantha yet, she's...she's sleeping.
Sam: Not anymore! I'm up! What's the matter? Julie! Your back! He uk-kidpapped you!
Julie: Huh?
Sam: Well he did kidnap you, didn't he?
Julie: No-ooo!
Sam: Well I thought that what...
Jonathan: Nobody kidnapped anyone!
Simpson: Well, that's what I wrote on the complaint. Actually, I wrote it with Chocolate syrup. I got that from a Sesamee Street magazine I read once. You know that Ernie is so damn funny! Telling Bert he needs more pens because they run outa ink!
Chief: Why, Simpson, it's almost time for Sesamee Street...why don't you go in the Living Room and have a nice "Sunny Day" okay? (Screams)
Nell: Shhhh! Now...okay...you see...
Chief: What? See, what?
Nell: Oooooh! Oh my God, he suspecets something!
Chief: What?
Nell: Never mind I am....I'm gonna go watch Sesamee Street too, okay? Come on Sam, baby, lets go!
Sam: But, Nell, I...
Nell: Shhhh...I think "Ju-lie...and Jonathan" want to be alone with the Chief...you know...settle this with him.
Sam: Oh, okay Nell. Good luck you guys, Especially you Jonathan...you aren't part of the family, but I think that since you have dated my sister for quite sometime now I...I kinda think of you as a brother-in-law, so...good luck with your first family quarrel!
Chief: Quarrel! Family! Brother-in-Law! That idiot Pizza Delivery Guy?
Sam: Daddy!
Julie: Right! Jonathan's not an idiot pizza delivery boy...he's a brilliant pizza delivery boy.
Chief: Well, what do you mean by that? Can you give me a good reason?
Julie: Well....well....well...oh, oh yes, how about...um....well....okay, here's one, just recent. This morning, around 345 am, on the way back from Vegas, Jonathan and I were going down the highway when I told him to take exit 4, but he told me it was exit 3 we needed to take, so we took 3, since he is a great driver and all, and...
Chief: Vegas?
Julie: Oh no, oh gosh, I blew it!
Chief: You went to Vegas! Your nearly 18!
Julie: Daddy! I am 18! Remember! My birthday was yesterday.
Chief: And what did you do there? Besides Gamble!
Nell (From the Living Room): They Gambled! Only Gambled!
Chief: Stay out of this!
Nell: Right! Okay...I...Oh! David is signing! That man's got a great voice! "One of these things...is just like the other...one of these things is kinda the same..."
Chief: That's enough! Now...I guess....I guess I can forgive you. Why don't you guys just go on...go on to school and work.
Jonathan: Thanks, Chief.
Chief: I'm sorry, honey. Come, give daddy a kiss.
Jonathan: (Walks towards the Chief) I, uh...
Chief: Not you! You! (To julie)
Jonathan: Right.
Chief: You wait a minute, I'm not through with you yet, Jonathan.
Jonathan: Yes, sir, Chief, sir!
Julie: I love you daddy!
Chief: Aw, I love you too. You know, I know you wouldn't go off to Vegas to do anything stupid. I mean, I know you're 18 and all and...that's an age where a lot of girls go off to get married and ruin their lives and...and you jsut went there to live a little...just to gamble a little...like a typical 18-year old. And I'm so proud of you, honey. (Holds her hands).
Julie: You are?
Chief: Yes. And if your mother were here right now she...she...
Julie: She'd what?
Chief: She'd... (Sees the ring). She'd..
Julie: She'd...what daddy (trying to stick with the subject as she sees he sees the ring).
Jonathan: I guess she'd say...Julie...way to go! You made momma proud!
Chief: You! You! You! Yooooooou!
Nell: Wooooooo! (Rushes into the room with Samantha)
Chief: What is this! You, you!
Nell: Now, Chief...don't get all upset! Don't do this!
Chief: What is the meaning of this ring?
Nell: Oh! Oh that ring!
Chief: I want an answer from you Julie...and you....Jonathan!
Nell: Well...
Chief: Enough! (Calms down) Julie...
Julie: Well...you see....Jonathan and I...
Nell: Yeah, Jonathan and her went to Vegas for a birthday trip for her 18th brithday and they won some money and he...he....
Julie: Nell!
Chief: Julie, enough!
Nell: Hey! Can I say the story!
Chief: Nell...okay...go ahead!
Nell: Well, you see...Julie and Jonathan went to Vegas and gambled away $300, then they won and doubled, but then they lost most of it. However...they did have enough left over for Jonahtan to buy her a birthday gift, and he...he bought her this ring. It's not what it looks like, but...she saw it in a pretty little shop there and...and it was the same one that Joan Collins wore last week on Dynasty, and...
Chief: Nell! Are you telling the truth...you can't possibly afford a ring like that Julie. Alexis Carrington goes for rings that are 3, maybe 4 thousand dollard worth of value.
Julie: Well...on TV they make it look like the "real thing" anyways! Besides, you don't even watch Dynasty, so how would you know!
Sam: Actually, last week's episode Alexis wasn't even on...she was away on a trip in Ro...
Julie: Sam!
Sam: Romania!
Chief: You! You lied to me!
Julie: Daddy!
Chief: Nell, get me that TV guide!
Nell: But it was last weeks episode!
Chief: I don't care! I wanna see that TV guide!
Simpson: Oh, her'es that issue of TV guide...I was in the John and I needed some reading to do. It is last weeks. You really should start to recycle around here. Things just keep pilling up liek garbage!
Chief: Give me that! Aha! Dynasty...Blake and Krystal make love and are worry free as Alexis goes off on a trip to...ro...mania! Why, you! You lied to me! Julie! Nell! You! (To Jonathan). You tell the story! And tell it right this time!
Julie: Daddy!
((((Commercial))))
Chief: So...Pizza delievery boy! Took the right exit I see in Vegas, but...will you take the right one in this house? Dead or alive?
Jonathan: I, uh...
Nell: Chief...just relax, okay.
Jonathan: I...
Chief: Now...kindly tell your story to me about what happened in Vegas. I want the whole truth, or else if you lie I will arrest you!
Julie: What? Arrest him, he didn't do anything wrong! We wanted to go together, he didn't kidpap me, though!
Chief: Ah, but lying is a serious crime!
Julie: Oh, daddy, it is not! What we did was perfectly innocent and free-willed!
Chief: Not to me it isn't! Now... what happened in Vegas...
Jonathan: Well...
Chief: I'm Listening...
Jonthan: Well, Chief....you see, I... I...
Chief: Oh, this is taking forever, Nell...I'm hungry, get me food! I need food, damn it!
Nell: There it is, impulsive compressive disorder!
Chief: What!
Nell: Yeah. Some have it for gambling...Julie and Jonathan....some got it for looks...mwah...and some got it for food...Tu!
Chief: Yeah...food....that's a good one, Nell. I wouldn't talk, tubby!
Nell: Hoooooooooo!
Chief: Get the god darn food, tubby!
Nell: Now, you just wait a minute I...
Chief: Now!
Nell: Alright! Tubby will get you your food, but...after that, tubby wants a $200 raise
Chief: For what?
Nell: For being ridiculed by a person of the same complex
Chief: And whats that just supposed to mean?
Nell: What you say, you are!
Chief: All I said is get the food, tubby...I don't see how it... Oh....oh well...forget I said that...
Nell: You right! You very right Cheif. Very right. (Madly opens the fridge, gets out stuff and lights the stove, cracking new eggs) I have to get new eggs...your old ones are already sunny-side down on the floor!
Chief: Alright, alright. Whatever. Just cook the grub...now... Jonathan...Can you please tell me what went on in Vegas.
Katie: Oh, hi guys! Oh, Julie, you're back!
Julie: Katie!
Katie: What? You look so happy to see me!
Julie: I....uh....Oh....never mind....
Chief: I know ther'es something fishy going on here.
Nell: Nope. It's breakfast....no lunch. Or else we can go on a binge and I can break out the octopus!
Chief: Enough!
Katie: What's going on?
Sam: Daddy thinks Julie and Jonathan got married in Vegas!
Katie: Married! Thats wonderful! So thats why you were...
Julie (Shakes her head, letting Katie know that it was true but not having the Chief find out).
Katie: ...happy to see me....Uh...I think I'm late for work, I need to open the boutique or else I'll lose customers and pay....uh...bye!
Chief: Julie...did your sister just give away what I think she just gave away!
Julie: Uh...I don't know dad, what is that?
Chief: The fact that you and Jonathan went off to Vegas to marry!
Nell: Okay! Okay, eggs are done!
Chief: Get the bacon!
Nell: But it's in the freezer...2 months old, it'll take another 10 minutes to...
Chief: Now!
Nell: Defrost it...Okay...tubby is getting the grubby....ewww....
Chief: Now...Is that what you went to Vegas for...Jonathan?
Jonathan: Chief...
Chief: Chief? Why, call me dad!
Jonathan: Okay, okay, dad!
Chief: Aha! Why you lying, two-timing...
Julie: Daddy!
Nell: Chief, Chief listen!
Chief: What?
Nell: Do you want any mint Jelly or jam?
Chief: Yeah...(to Jonthan) Pardon me...(to Nell) Pass the Grey Poupon!
Nell: Ahahahahaahha (Laughs) ahahahahah, you so funny!
Chief: And getting funnier!
Julie: Daddy...
Chief: No, Julie...you had your chance to tell the Vegas story....you blew it.
Julie: What?
Chief: I want to hear it from you, Jonathan...all i got out of you was "okay, Dad"...now does that clue me in on the final step in solving this mystery?
Jonathan: I....
Julie: Daddy...you know Jonathan...he'll say whatever you want him to.
Chief: And why is that?
Julie: Fear of the long arm of the law!
Chief: Right! (Smiles). Thats right! Hey, Nell...throw some of those awesome hash brows in there too, okay?
Nell: Youve got it!
Chief: And you know what would be great, how about some nice, homeade, French Toast!
Nell: Chief! Well...you know what...that does sound good...I'll get a cracking!
Chief: Now...where was I...
Julie: You were onto French toast...
Joey: Okay, I'm up! Jonathan, hi!
Jonathan: Hi Joey!
Joey: Aunt Nell, can I have my fruit loops?
Nell: get em yourself Joey!
Joey: Aw, come on I...
Chief: Fruit loops! Oh that does sound good! (Gets a box and rips it open and pours the whole box into a big bowl and gives the toy to Joey. Here, Joey...her'es another box...loop yourself out!
Joey: Wow! Thanks , Chief!
Nell: Oh...this french toast is coming great, Chief....Just great!
Cheif: Good. Get the condiments!
Nell: Oh. You mean like Syrup, Ketchup, butter, Jelly...grey poupon that is... hahahahah (laughs) pardon mwah!
Chief: Good! Now...where were we... Oh, yes... you were saying something about Jonathan being scared of me all the time?
Julie: Daddy, thats just it!
Chief: what is?
Julie (Breaks down) You know, I am getting sick and tired of you! I broke up with Jonathan and all you said was "good", you didn't care about my feelings or anything as mom would have, if she were still around. Now you have the face to tell me...well...if mom was here she'd be so pround of me...she'd say....she'd say....well what would she say? Huh, dad? What would mom say, since she's so proud of her daughter for going off to Vegas and...and...
Chief: Mom? What about mom?
Julie: Daddy... (begins to cry and soften up)
Chief: Oh, Julie, honey...
Julie: What would mom have said, dad? Tell me?
Chief: She...she would have said...she would have said..."Julie. I'm proud of you. You don't date guys who are druggies, or alcoholics....or kidnappers! (Turns to Jonathan and smiles).
Jonathan: Thanks, Chief.
Chief: And she'd...she'd say that she, she only wants to see you happy, even if it means going to Vegas on your 18th birthday and getting back with your ex-boyfriend who, even though acts like an idiot....really....you know, really ain't that bad of a person.
Jonathan: Thanks Chief.
Julie: Thank you daddy (Hugs him).
Chief: Jonathan. It was very nice of you to give Julie this ring. Even though it costed you about $300 dollars.
Jonathan: 4
Chief: Oh, thats fine but....4....hundred...dollars! Boy, she must be very special!
Jonathan: She is Chief. She is. (Goes over to her and is about to kiss her)
Chief: Ay!
Jonathan: Oh, sir...I Mean, Chief...do I have your permission to kiss your daughter.
Chief: Well, it's...it's been a long morning and...I....I guess so.
Jonathan: Thanks Chief
(Julie and Jonathan Kiss and continue kissing)
Chief: Okay that's enough! Thats enough! THATS ENOUGH!
Julie: Oh, sorry daddy!
Jonathan: Yeah, sorry, dad!
Chief: What?
Jonathan: I mean, I mean....Sorry, Chief!
Nell: Okay....breakfast is ready!
Chief: Good...I;m starving! (Rushes over and gets a plate, then pulls Nells and Julies and Jonathans and hogs it all).
(Commercial)
Chief: Oh! That was some breakfast! Eggs, Bacon, French Toast, fruit loops, grey poupon, mmmmm!) What's for lunch Nell?
Nell: Stuffed Chief!
(Everyone laughs)
Chief: Oh! Ahhhhh....my stomache! I ate too much! (Waits a second a burps). Well, you kids better get going. Julie, you dont want to be late for school!
Julie: Uh...I'm not going to school today, daddy.
Chief: Not going? Why? are you sick?
Julie: No-oo...I mean, I can't go...not just yet.
Chief: Not, yet...why not just yet?
Julie: Well...I think you, Jonathan and I need to have a little talk.
Chief: A talk...a talk about what?
Julie: Daddy...Jonathan (looks at him and smiles and Jonathan smiles and they both nod).
Chief: Oh, I need some alka selzer! Nell!
Nell: Coming! (Dumps a whole bottle into a glass and adds water).
Chief: (Drinks the whole glass in 3 seconds). Now, what is it you wanted to tell me sweet heart? That you want to take today off to tour SanFransisco? Well, they do have a lot of gays there, but...if you want to be gay...go for it!
Julie: What?
Chief: Oh...Ow! (Holds his stomache in and then burps) oh, excuse me...no, what I mean is...if you want to be happy...I'm happy for you...whatever you decide to do with you life.
Julie: You mean that?
Chief: Yes, (Burps) honey. I (Burps) Do.
Julie: Oh, daddy... I think now is the time to tell you the news.
Chief: (Looks at her with a smile, but in a depressed and tired out way because of all the food he had eaten).
Julie: Daddy...Jonathan and I just got married.
Chief: (Continues to look at her with the same face, as it changes to a caring smile, as if he were looking into the eyes of his first love).
Julie: Daddy....did you just hear me? Daddy? (Pause) Daddy? Jonathan and I we, we got married. Last night, in Vegas. In the Chapel of the Little Sparrow. It was small, nothing big. We charged it to your account though, is that okay. It was only $500
Chief: (Continues to look at Julie with such love he begins to talk very slowly, as the alka selzer and the indegestion get worse on him and he talks as if he was very sick and tired and out of it like an old man) Well... consider that a birthday gift. $500, you say?
Julie: Yeah. $ 500.
Nell: Oh, Chief....
Cheif: (Still with the same face) Yes, Nell...
Nell: Do you need anymore food?
Chief: Yeah, a bowl of rice would be nice.
Nell: Okay, a... a bowl of rice, but...oh, Julie...you mean, you...you told him! Oh, Yippie!
Julie: Nell!
Nell: Right! I'm leaving the room! "Oh, her'e comes the bride...all dressed in white....da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da"...
Julie: Daddy...are you okay?
Chief: I'm fine honey, I... $500...
Julie: Daddy...I got married.
Chief: A-ha...
Julie: To Jonathan.
Chief: A-ha...
Julie: And...
Chief: And I cant really move, I am suffering from this thing called "impulsive compressive" eating or whatever Nell calls it!
Julie: So...you're okay with it?
Chief: I...(Gets up asd he holds his stomache) Oh!
Julie: Daddy, are you okay?
Chief: Yeah, honey, I...I'll be fine! $500 you say?
Julie: Yeah.
Chief: Well... Come, here sweat heart! (Puts his arms around Julie) I hope you are happy you spent all that money.
Julie: Oh, daddy...I'll pay you back and...
Chief: Damn right your gonna pay me back, your grounded for a year!
Julie: (Smiles as she shrugs her shoulders) Okay.
Chief: And, Jonathan...welcome to the family, son. (Shakes his hands and puts his hand on his shoulder) And your grounded for two years.
Julie: Daddy...where are you going?
Chief: (In a daze-like state, walks into the livingroom) I think I'm gonna...lie down...watch a litle TV...you know...get my mind off of things.
Simpson: Oh, hiya Chief! Sesamee Street is almost over! You ate through so much! Bert and Ernie, you should see what they did this week...they sang two rounds of "Rubber Duckie" and shinned up Berts coin collection. Now thats what I call "Compromising" Chief!
Chief: Yeah...compromising! (Lies down on the couch on one side as Simpson sits on the right side towards the edge, finishing up his breakfast. The Chief thinks to himself as he gets a distorted face as his strength comes back to him and his indigestion begins to fade away) $500... married in Vegas! JULIE!
THE END