I am so sick of this

[dawsongirl]

I'm tired of my dad harping on me about having no "real" friends. I'm sorry if I don't like going to bars and clubs and getting drunk off my ass just to meet people. I had real friends...and they all backstabbed me or simply abandoned me. So I'm also sorry if I'm just a little gun shy about trusting people.

*sigh* I just had to let that out. Nothing like your dad making you feel like a complete loser.

[TheHappyBurgerMeister]

I'm sorry to hear that. Your dad shouldn't have said that to you. I'm kind of like you where I don't go out to bars or parties. I do have friends that I hang out with occasionally, but every weekend pretty much I'll be at home! I just don't go out to places very much. I'd much rather stay at home and chat on the internet than go out to parties every weekend!

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

I know how you feel. Exactly. My mom's always yelling at me to get real friends, but she doesn't understand how hard it is for me. :( And yeah, dad's can make you feel like losers. I know mine does. I do everyone wrong, so on top of that...I feel like if I try to make friends with people I'm bothering them because I'm a big loser. Sounds pathetic, but I guess that's just a part of it.

[Cashodeen]

I know how you feel. And this topic couldn't have come at a better time for me. Well, I've been hearing the same thing for years, but after a few months of dodging it, I got that "you don't know how to have fun" speech last night. My dad thinks I'm completely unusual because I stay home most nights. Would he rather I associate myself with the losers in this county? Because I have to tell you... this place is a cesspool of stoners, tweekers, drunks, and all around pigs. I tried my best in high school to be socialable, but one lame party after another just didn't do it for me. And when you're conservative at those parties, it doesn't go over too well. My dad just doesn't get it. Since High School I have only a couple friends because the rest were just losers. (And I can't be out with these friends EVERY weekend because they're going through stuff lately.) I'm sure there are other people around here who feel the same way I do. It's not always the easiest to find new friends though.

My dad's input isn't appreciated or needed. He just doesn't see how things REALLY are. He's impossible to tell too. I actually feel degraded after talking to him. :rolleyes:

[Hollow]

i dont have any friends either and my dad doesnt nag me about it too often but he does give me **** for not participating in social events. i really dont care about having friends anymore. most of the friends ive ever had have betrayed me. the last group of friends i was in treated me like **** so bad i dont even trust people anymore. they later found out that i almost killed myself and they felt sorry for me so theyre trying to be my friends again, that'll be the day. only 2 of them werent involved in the things they did to me so im not mad at them but we never really see eachother except for in class. so yeah i'm just an outcast, no one really gives a crap about me and i generally dont talk to anyone i dont know well, even when they talk to me because frankly i hate everyone. i've always been known as a stupid and insignificant girl and everyone has always treated me like im a big joke. and friends dont mean **** to me, because in my personal view, theres no such thing. my counselor thinks that having college-aged friends might be better for me and i think shes right because i seem to get along better with them.

[Michael [hXc]]

My mom used to complain that I had few friends, now she is complaining that I am too social! Geesh!

Anyway, sorry to hear about that Cathy. It is your business if you want friends and nobody elses. Anyway, you have many friends here on Sitcoms Online, so you will always be popular in our eyes.

[PZelda]

Originally posted by Cashodeen
I know how you feel. And this topic couldn't have come at a better time for me. Well, I've been hearing the same thing for years, but after a few months of dodging it, I got that "you don't know how to have fun" speech last night. My dad thinks I'm completely unusual because I stay home most nights. Would he rather I associate myself with the losers in this county? Because I have to tell you... this place is a cesspool of stoners, tweekers, drunks, and all around pigs. I tried my best in high school to be socialable, but one lame party after another just didn't do it for me. And when you're conservative at those parties, it doesn't go over too well. My dad just doesn't get it. Since High School I have only a couple friends because the rest were just losers. (And I can't be out with these friends EVERY weekend because they're going through stuff lately.) I'm sure there are other people around here who feel the same way I do. It's not always the easiest to find new friends though.

My dad's input isn't appreciated or needed. He just doesn't see how things REALLY are. He's impossible to tell too. I actually feel degraded after talking to him. :rolleyes:

Your dad sounds like my ex-best friend (another reason I dropped that....vile creature). She was always telling me I needed to hang out with more people, and every time she gave me that speech, I would always tell her to f*ck off because I LIKE staying at home, so it's none of her business what I want to do. She gave me that speech at least twice a month every month when we were in high school together. :rolleyes:

And you have described the crappy little town we went to high school at - Devils Lake - PERFECTLY. It's just a cesspool of stoners, drunks and sex-crazed freaks. The sane ones are far and between, so as a result, I only have about 4 straight-edge friends that all graduated in different years, one graduating next week. (she was one year behind me in school, and I moved away in September so I haven't seen her since I graduated last year)

I have never been SO happy to get the hell out of there. NEVER NEVER NEVER go live in Devils Lake. NEVER. At the time I moved, I was two months shy of having spent 11 hellish years there, and that was MORE THAN ENOUGH for me. F*ck them - I LIKE it that way. I've never been a sociable person, never will be. Sure, I like going out in public, but I like to do it myself and on my time. And since I've been home, I've felt my sanity finally return to normal.

Your dad REALLY needs to buzz off. Tell him to mind his own business and that it's NONE OF HIS BUSINESS how you currently handle your life.

Originally posted by Jen1989
I've heard that speech a million times. The "you need to make friends" speech. Thursday night I got the "you need to start dating" speech from my mother. I tried explaining to her that the most important thing, to me, right now is getting through college. For me, my education is very important. Your education will stay with you forever, but you never know if the person your with will stay. The expression, "Love don't pay the bills" is very true. I need a college degree for the job I want, and if I want to be able to support myself I have to have a job. Romance sounds nice, but again, it doesn't pay the bills. I'm not against dating it's just not a priority for me right now. I explained to my mother that once I finished college, found a job, and can financially support myself, then I'll find nice guy. But, it will be on my terms, not because I feel like I have to. My mother said that it doesn't necessarily have to be a "date" at first. She just doesn't understand. She's only adding pressure that I don't need right now. So, when I'm not hearing about that, it's the "you need to make friends" lecture. I'd love to have friends, but it's hard for me to make friends. I have only a few friends. One friend has CP(Cerebral Palsy) and the one has a slight vision problem, not anywhere as bad as mine. My other few friends are former teachers. I've never been one for partying, drinking, drugs, cigarettes, etc. So, that makes me "uncool" and unpopular. I'm not considered a "typical" college student.

So, I can relate to what you're going through.

The last few sentences of your post sounds exactly like me. I was friends w/ a lot of my teachers when I was in school. So what if it's not normal? Buzz off. I would like to think I've got a better handle on my life than the other kids do. I don't do drugs, I don't smoke (I'm allergic to cigarettes anyway, so trying to smoke would be stupid), I don't party, I don't do any of that ****. It's never appealed to me and never will. I've always been different from my peers- all my teachers actually liked me and were surprised when I wanted to talk to them outside of school and stuff. :lol:

And yeah - I'm in college right now, and finishing it is a high priority for me, also. I'm simply not interested in dating right now and won't be for a long time (maybe never). I haven't dated since the end of my 8th grade year, and I like it that way anyway because then I don't have to worry about spending time with my significant other. Fortunately, my parents both understand that and don't bug me about it. :)

[TVJunkie101]

Hmmm... Where to begin, LOL.

I'm a guy and have gotten the same speech from my step-dad (not anymore since I moved out). You need friends, blah blah blah. I do want friends (I had a lot in elementary school, junior high and some highschool) but in the past few years, I just don't need them, honestly. Sometimes you get lucky and get some really good friends, but there are just so many selfish people out there.

I don't go to parties and drink and do drugs and things like that, so again, that sets you apart. I can list at least half of the kids in my old highschool who smoked cigarettes, and pot and other drugs in the bathrooms at school. The bathrooms were sickening. The school was nice and big, but it was nasty. I finally left school in junior year to do homeschooling I just hated going. I kind of lost most of my friends after that, and I really don't need people like that.

I'm fine having friends online. I'm definitely going to have to start talking more in the chit chat boards and IMing more people here. I mean, my goal is to finish school, get good grades, and THEN focus on my social life. I mean, I enjoy staying home. I'm really to myself basically. I'm also more able to relate with adults because I was raised in a more adult environment. I made friends with the teachers too. Why not? They're people too.

[Mrs. Ducky]

My mother's a party animal and she likes going to bars and partying. I do have alot of friends and we like having overnight parties at each others houses. But some of them like to go to dances and stuff like that and they leave messages on my answering machine telling me to come with them and I don't want to go and my mom yells at me saying I don't have a life!:o

[MaydayMalonesGirl]

I have friends who I talk to in school, but I'm not the kind of person who has sleepovers or who goes to the movies every weekend. I know thats the "normal" thing for a 7th grader to do, but I like to be alone. Plus I hate how most of the kids act in my school, so why should I go join them? I'm relatively quiet, and I hate attention or when people even look at me. Yeah, I have some problems I need to sort out. My parents got worried last year when I stopped hanging out with people, but they never pressured me about it. They were happy when I told them I wanted to go to sleep away camp with a friend this summer, but things will probably be the exact same when I get back.

[dlemond]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
I'm tired of my dad harping on me about having no "real" friends. I'm sorry if I don't like going to bars and clubs and getting drunk off my ass just to meet people. I had real friends...and they all backstabbed me or simply abandoned me. So I'm also sorry if I'm just a little gun shy about trusting people.

*sigh* I just had to let that out. Nothing like your dad making you feel like a complete loser.

I don't know your dad obviously, but I think there may be concern in his intentions and not a motive to put you down.

The internet can be a scary place to parents who never get to see who their kids are talking to or what they are all about.
This is not to say there are not some sincere and excellent people out there, but there are also predators and scammers.

I think he might be feeling that if he got to see "real" friends he could actually put names to faces and size people up and know how to relate to you about your friends. Maybe he is being protective and looking out for you.

On the internet you can't even confront the people who have burned you- they can just ignore you. In day to day life, if you have friends at school or work or whatever at least you can walk up to their face and tell them what you think. You think they don't care but actual contact strikes a nerve with people no matter what you may believe.

Everyone gets betrayed by friends and loses friends and gets hurt by them. It's a chance you take, like anything else. But the true friends you make and the experiences you share make up for everything.

[FamilyTiesGOP]

Originally posted by Jen1989
I've heard that speech a million times. The "you need to make friends" speech. Thursday night I got the "you need to start dating" speech from my mother. I tried explaining to her that the most important thing, to me, right now is getting through college. For me, my education is very important. Your education will stay with you forever, but you never know if the person your with will stay. The expression, "Love don't pay the bills" is very true. I need a college degree for the job I want, and if I want to be able to support myself I have to have a job. Romance sounds nice, but again, it doesn't pay the bills. I'm not against dating it's just not a priority for me right now. I explained to my mother that once I finished college, found a job, and can financially support myself, then I'll find nice guy. But, it will be on my terms, not because I feel like I have to. My mother said that it doesn't necessarily have to be a "date" at first. She just doesn't understand. She's only adding pressure that I don't need right now. So, when I'm not hearing about that, it's the "you need to make friends" lecture. I'd love to have friends, but it's hard for me to make friends. I have only a few friends. One friend has CP(Cerebral Palsy) and the one has a slight vision problem, not anywhere as bad as mine. My other few friends are former teachers. I've never been one for partying, drinking, drugs, cigarettes, etc. So, that makes me "uncool" and unpopular. I'm not considered a "typical" college student.

So, I can relate to what you're going through.

That is basically me, but atleast my parents don't care if I have a social life or not. They do not pressure me at all. I am in college right now and my number one priority is getting good grades and then I can get a nice job. So I am not dating right now because it just isn't important to me right now. I don't even know when or if I will be interested because atleast 50% of marriages end in divorce. I want to have everything I want in life before I make that decision.

I used to have some friends in HS, but they are went off to other colleges and left me, so I don't keep in touch with them. I think I am too boring for them because my life isn't wall to wall excitement. I am just not a sociable person. Nobody else has my interests, so I just enjoy what I enjoy myself. I don't need friends to do that. I hate social events like picnics, parties, etc.

My younger sister is very sociable though, so maybe I'm odd, but I really don't care.

[Mijada]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
I'm tired of my dad harping on me about having no "real" friends. I'm sorry if I don't like going to bars and clubs and getting drunk off my ass just to meet people. I had real friends...and they all backstabbed me or simply abandoned me. So I'm also sorry if I'm just a little gun shy about trusting people.


I'm the exact same way so don't feel too bad about it. I just had a disagreement with a coworker the other day. She's trying to say there is something wrong with me because I don't drink and go to clubs and whatever. In my opinion, not drinking is a good thing. I've never seen anything positive come from it so I don't do it. I have like 2 really close friends, one of whom I only became close to after she got married had a family and quit going to bars. When she was still single, we had nothing at all in common but now she's a great friend. I agree with you that it is hard to trust people. That's one of the reasons I'm not married.

[Brent88]

My parent's don't care. In fact, my dad actually told me to wait to date. I don't have many friends at all, outside of on the internet, LOL I never was very sociable. I had a few friends in school, but never any girls. My sister, however, has a LOT of friends. She is 10 though, I had more friends at that age too.

I went to grade school through half of 9th grade(a year and a half ago), and then started homeschooling. I hated school(not the work, just being made fun of it from time to time). It got really bad when we moved and went to a new school in mid-year. I went there 2 days before I said "enough". I've never been as happy. :)

[Michael [hXc]]

My sociability is average, but I have some good friends (Scott, Nick, Zach, Josh, Mike, Devin, Nick (another one), Sami, and others)

[Cashodeen]

Originally posted by Miss Vicki
Your dad sounds like my ex-best friend (another reason I dropped that....vile creature). She was always telling me I needed to hang out with more people, and every time she gave me that speech, I would always tell her to f*ck off because I LIKE staying at home, so it's none of her business what I want to do. She gave me that speech at least twice a month every month when we were in high school together. :rolleyes:

And you have described the crappy little town we went to high school at - Devils Lake - PERFECTLY. It's just a cesspool of stoners, drunks and sex-crazed freaks. The sane ones are far and between, so as a result, I only have about 4 straight-edge friends that all graduated in different years, one graduating next week. (she was one year behind me in school, and I moved away in September so I haven't seen her since I graduated last year)

I have never been SO happy to get the hell out of there. NEVER NEVER NEVER go live in Devils Lake. NEVER. At the time I moved, I was two months shy of having spent 11 hellish years there, and that was MORE THAN ENOUGH for me. F*ck them - I LIKE it that way. I've never been a sociable person, never will be. Sure, I like going out in public, but I like to do it myself and on my time. And since I've been home, I've felt my sanity finally return to normal.

Your dad REALLY needs to buzz off. Tell him to mind his own business and that it's NONE OF HIS BUSINESS how you currently handle your life.



What a relief to hear other places in this country are just as sad as the towns around here. Sometimes I doubt myself because it sounds almost too far-fetched for a place to be so horrible. Devil's Lake sounds just like here...and this place is full of sex crazed freaks too. I didn't exactly add that, but it's a huge problem.

Thanks, your post made me feel better. :) And it makes me feel better reading the other posts and knowing I'm not the only one who chooses to stay at home most of the time. If my dad could quit trying to mold me in the way he thinks would be perfect, that would be nice. At least my mom gets it, and tells him to shut up. When I try to tell him, he thinks it's nothing but excuses.

[robyrob]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
I'm tired of my dad harping on me about having no "real" friends. I'm sorry if I don't like going to bars and clubs and getting drunk off my ass just to meet people. I had real friends...and they all backstabbed me or simply abandoned me. So I'm also sorry if I'm just a little gun shy about trusting people.

*sigh* I just had to let that out. Nothing like your dad making you feel like a complete loser. when i was a teenage loser/recluse MY mom use to waste her time always telling me to go out and "make" new friends, so i would do my best to make her happy; i would round up some popsicle sticks, paperclips, get some airplane glue (which would also prove quite useful in curing boredom afterwards) and my erector set, and i would spend hours working on my new creation, but somehow mom was never quite pleased with the new friends i made :(

[dawsongirl]

Originally posted by robyrob
when i was a teenage loser/recluse MY mom use to waste her time always telling me to go out and "make" new friends, so i would do my best to make her happy; i would round up some popsicle sticks, paperclips, get some airplane glue (which would also prove quite useful in curing boredom afterwards) and my erector set, and i would spend hours working on my new creation, but somehow mom was never quite pleased with the new friends i made :(

Gee...I never thought of that. I have some legos around here somewhere...

[Janice]

Cathy, you are not a loser, and I'm sorry your father makes you feel that way. I don't blame you for not going to bars; however, it's probably a good idea to get out to meet people (men, lol) with similiar interests. A book club, a night course here and there, a travel club, etc....to meet Mr. Right, you have to be there when he shows up.

I'm assuming that's what you want. :)

[InspectorExstead]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
Nothing like your dad making you feel like a complete loser.

Aren't dads just wonderful?

[Seth]

My mom, long ago, gave up on trying to get me to "Get out more". Aside from a couple people, most people here aren't the type that one would want to associate with, and stay in complete control of one mental faculties....

[dandelion wine]

I've been there before - many times, only it was my mom giving me the lectures. Of course, she and I never seemed to agree on anything and we had more arguments than you can shake a stick at. I realize everybody goes through that, but it was hard and painful. Sometimes I don't think I've gotten over the things she's said to me in the past, though I'm trying. Anyhow, I went out with friends every weekend. I got out of the house, I did my thing. I tried my best, and it wasn't enough. After all of that, I turned into a homebody.

Now I'm at a point where I have to do what makes me happy, move at my own pace and not let what anybody says get to me. You're not a horrible person just because you don't have friends coming out of your ears, or because you don't feel like going to clubs nonstop. And it's more than understandable for you to be gun shy when it comes to trusting people and making new friends. I wish parents would stop and think a moment or two before saying things like that to their children and I'm sorry your father's giving you a hard time, Cathy. :(

[PZelda]

Originally posted by Jen1989
I know it's not the norm, to be friends with teachers, but I've always been grateful for those friendships. There have been times when a teacher was the only friend I had. Sometimes a teacher cna be a lifeline so to speak.

Well, I look at it this way- at least I'm not friends with a serial murderer. Teachers are just people, as are celebrities. THEY'RE JUST PEOPLE. I've learned to overlook that fact. I separated "teacher" from "friend", so yeah. I can think of about 10 teachers off the top of my head that I've been buddies with for a long time. I'm buddies with the first preschool teacher I had in 1987 and I'm also buddies with the other teachers I had through kindergarten and so on. In fact, one of my best buddies is my 8th grade English teacher. She's just so dang cool.

There's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with being friends with a teacher. It shouldn't be a taboo. If other people have problems, I would tell them to **** off and be happy I'm not friends with druggies and sex freaks. :D