Niles' best one-liners

[Kristen]

I was thinking earlier about Niles. He sure had some great lines! Of course, most of them were directed to C.C., LOL. Here are a few of my favorites:

"Cluck like a chicken....it turns me on." (I couldn't forget that one!!)

"If you let me tell Miss Babcock about this, I'll work free for a year!"

"He's (Max) gone to discuss with Miss Fine the possibility of having sex in her room."

"Grandma Yetta, aged 80, living in a home, got a heap o' good lovin' last night."

:lol: Ok, now post some of yours, I know there are lots more!

[Fran=Lucy]

Oh Lord, there are sooo many Niles one-liners that I just can't seem to remember at least one...let me think and then i'll post them hehehe :D

[Nanny Fine]

CC "Why can't I get a man to worship me like that?"
Niles "Move to India. You'll be sacred there"

CC "I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress"
Niles "You'd have to be dead 6 months just to fit in it"

CC "She even thought you were going to kill ME"
Niles "I wouldn't dream of touching you like any other man"

I know that his line but I'm not sure if that's hers. He KILLS me I love him.

[Rill]

I can mainly think of dialogs between Niles and CC but here are my Niles quotes... (Oh! Some "quotes" aren't word by word... because I watch it dubbed):


"Did CaCa do a no no in the kitchen? Now she's going to have to clean it up!"

"You realize of course, now I'm going to have to kill you."

"Just Niles... like Cher."

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

"Well, sorta, kinda..."

"I'm sorry Sir, I just got so excited. I mean when she said...., then you said...., and when she said "I quit," I just wanted to roll over, light up, and watch Letterman."

"I'm half French."

"Toot toot!"

And... just because we spoke about that... "wear something"... "Velcro!"... lol



I can think of more right now... but I love Niles! :D

[Kristen]

I can't believe I forgot the "CaCa" line, that's one of my all-time faves! Right, Allison? ;)

I just got done watching "Fran's Gotta Have It" (Finally got it on tape - yay!) and I heard this:

Niles:Mr. Sheffield telephoned. He hasn't seen Celine Dion yet.
C.C.:Well, then, what is he doing in London?
Niles:One would hope, Miss Fine.

[Fran=Lucy]

Originally posted by Kristen
I just got done watching "Fran's Gotta Have It" (Finally got it on tape - yay!) and I heard this:

Niles:Mr. Sheffield telephoned. He hasn't seen Celine Dion yet.
C.C.:Well, then, what is he doing in London?
Niles:One would hope, Miss Fine.
Hahaha! OMG! LOL! I forgot about that and about the CaCa thing! :lol: :lol:

[Kristen]

I heard yet another good one during "The Morning After."

(After Niles' heart attack)
Max:If I don't tell someone soon, I'll have an ulcer!
Niles:Yes, and we all know *your* health should be what's foremost in our minds.

:lol: I just love how he says that! I love Niles to death.

[Fran=Lucy]

Yesterday I saw "The Kibbutz" and CC said something about not being around for Christmas and Niles said : "Oh, Santa got my letter!" Hahaha! Loved that one!
And at the end of that episode when he's on his vacation, he saw that CC was there too and he said...hm..oy, don't know the song but it's the same song from the movie, "Beetlejuice". :lol: :D

[Rill]

In "Strange Bedfellows" Niles asks CC: "What are you doing here? The sun is up already!"

I loved that line! lol

[Kristen]

Originally posted by Rill
In "Strange Bedfellows" Niles asks CC: "What are you doing here? The sun is up already!"

I loved that line! lol

Another great line from "Strange Bedfellows," "Oy, this is gonna take forever!" And of course we all know he was right! ;)

[Fran=Lucy]

Yeah, and we can see how much he wanted them to be together! :) :p

[OKCRay]

Niles is in the living room doing the Tom Cruise "Old Time Rock and Roll" dance (including strumming his feather duster like a guitar!). For the moment he has the house all to himself, then Miss Babcock enters and catches him in the act.

Niles: "You realize now that I will have to kill you!"

[zypherix]

I cant pick a favorite but here are some good ones:

from "Ode to Barbara Joan"

C.C: This pattern is hideous
Niles: Thats not the pattern, it's your reflection

from "Take Back your Mink"

C.C: Aren't these elephant tusks excuisit (sp?)
Niles: And here I thought you had your wisdom teeth pulled.

from "Piskhe Business"
Max: Where is C.C.?
Niles: It's raining outside, sir. Maybe she melted. Should I go out and look for a pointy hat and a Chanel suit?

from "Fran Lite"
C.C: Isnt a decade the standard time of mourning?
Niles: Die! Lets find out.

from "A Kiss is just a Kiss"
(after C.C. accidently kisses Niles)
Niles: Was it as bad for you as it was for me?

[Alicia Blair]

I still love the line where CC comes into the kitchen holding 'Jay Leno's dog and she says
CC: "What is this?"
Niles: "An annoying yapping dog"
CC nods
Niles: "Holding a chihuahua.

And there's another episode where Niles sends CC to the store,and then says
Niles: "Get a little rawhide chewie for yourself".

And one more......
CC comes to the breakfast table,and Niles insults her and Maxwell tells him off,and then Niles says
Niles: Sorry sir,but you know how i feel about her eating inside".:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Miss Fine]

Niles comments towards CC were always hilarious.My favourite though is

CC: I thought you were trying to help me!
Niles: Ohhhh you baboon why would i help you?

[Fran=Lucy]

Oh! I remembered one from "Strange Bedfellows":

C.C.: Today is my birthday. You are not going to get my goat.
Niles: Why? Did you two get engaged?

HAHAHAHAHA! OMG! I love that one! :D :lol:

[Miss Blair]

I think that Niles and CC made the Nanny as funny as it was.Fran and the others were amusing too,but i watched the show for Niles and CC,and couldn't wait for them to get together,moreso than Max and Fran.
My favourite Niles and CC moment...

CC:Where do you keep your money?
Niles: Someplace you'll never get near
CC: Oh your mattress (laughs)
Niles: No. (pointing to Mr Sheffield) His.

That one was priceless!
Another favouite was when CC came into the house,and looked really pretty in a nice outift and aviator glasses...
Niles: oooh you look very sixties
CC:Its a Dolce and Kabanna... (dont take my word for this,i dont think thats exactly what she said,but thats not the point!)
Niles: Hmmm i was talking about your face

Then later in the scene,Niles give CC an envelope....
CC: Its all wrinkled
Niles: It was stuffed in the mail box
CC: I was talking about your neck.

:lol:

[Sweet Brunette]

Most of the one liners i love,have already been mentioned.Miss Blair,your post reminded me of the lines,and i have to laugh.Niles is a classic.

[C.C forever]

Niles has sooooooo man fabulous oneliners but here is my best buds fav! Enjoy:
Niles: Miss Babcock for you, sir.
Max: Thank you Niles, I'll take her in the library.
Niles: Miss Babcock loves to be taken in the library
:lol:

[C.C forever]

All these are so good!!!!

[Dead Girl Superstar]

I think that Niles and CC made the Nanny as funny as it was.Fran and the others were amusing too,but i watched the show for Niles and CC,and couldn't wait for them to get together,moreso than Max and Fran.
My favourite Niles and CC moment...

CC:Where do you keep your money?
Niles: Someplace you'll never get near
CC: Oh your mattress (laughs)
Niles: No. (pointing to Mr Sheffield) His.

That one was priceless!
Another favouite was when CC came into the house,and looked really pretty in a nice outift and aviator glasses...
Niles: oooh you look very sixties
CC:Its a Dolce and Kabanna... (dont take my word for this,i dont think thats exactly what she said,but thats not the point!)
Niles: Hmmm i was talking about your face

Then later in the scene,Niles give CC an envelope....
CC: Its all wrinkled
Niles: It was stuffed in the mail box
CC: I was talking about your neck.

:lol:


:crazy: :lol: I love all those!

[Unscarred]

All the best ones have been definetly said. I had a laugh. :)

I especially love "Sorry sir, but you know how I feel about her eating inside".:lol:

[Niles&CCFan]

I think one of my all time favorite lines is from Where's the Pearls. When Niles got attacked by the dog but managed to get back in the house and when he introduced himself to Elizabeth Taylor he got all tongue tied.

Niles: How do you do, Tiz Maylor? I'm Biles, the nutler. :lol:

I thought that was so hilarious. I love Niles.

[Belair]

Niles after he gives CC money to go get something from the store.

"Get a little rawhide chewy for yourself".

:lol:

[Furienna]

Fran is pretending to be a nurse, and Maxwell ends up in the hospital, with appedicitis I believe. Well, Fran has to shave him "for surgery". I don't understand why he would have to be shaved there to have his appendix removed, but that's another story. The funny part is when Niles comes in and says: " Bucking for a raise?"

[Elizabeth Eden]

Niles comments towards CC were always hilarious.My favourite though is

CC: I thought you were trying to help me!
Niles: Ohhhh you baboon why would i help you?


:rofl: I loved that one!

[mamazboy]

CC: Now I'm dating myself.
Niles: Dating yourself? Even you can do better than you.